X-Treme Makeover: Phantom Edition

A Bad… Pushover

"Nurse, nurse!" Hilary cried out. "Erik still hasn't woken up. I need to go home too. My cat Phoenix needs fed."

"Are you his wife or girlfriend or sister or fiancé or something?" When Hilary shook her head the nurse sighed, "You've been here for hours, and you don't even know this guy?"

"Well, technically no. But… err… I guess I should go home to my cat. See ya." Hilary waved mournfully and walked out of the door to the elevator.

"Finally." Erik said, sitting up on the bed. "I thought she'd never leave. I've been faking passing out for the last four hours!"

"That bad, huh?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah. Can I go back to the hotel now?" Erik asked hopefully.

"Yes. Just relax. How are you feeling?"

"Well, this pain on my hip just seems to be going no where!" Erik rubbed his hip.

"The doctor didn't do surgery on that one." The nurse commented.

"I know. Hilary pushed me off the bed… I think it was supposed to make me feel better."

"She what? I thought you just rolled over!"

"No. I was still pretty much out of it."

"I'll tell the doctor about this. That girl doesn't deserve to be in a hospital OR. Be right back, Hun." The nurse rushed away.

Erik leaned back on his pile of pillows that supported his head and turned on the TV. He sorted through the channels. Nothing seemed to be on! Finally, he decided that this show, "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" was okay.

The nurse came back in about ten minutes; Erik was totally engrossed in the show. He started telling the nurse that her outfit was just so out of style when she interrupted him. "The doctor said that you're ready to go back to the hotel for a while. You'll be back in about three weeks to take off the bandages. Lets get you out of bed and out to the limo.

Erik was placed in a wheelchair (his hips were too sore still at this moment to walk) and wheeled out into the lobby and out the doors where he was put into a limo and prepared for the drive.

The new limo driver was quite nice, the only problem was that he liked The Backstreet Boys. "Haven't they been out for a while now?" Erik screamed over the loud music.

"What?" then the man began to sing "Bye, Bye, Bye". Erik covered his ears. And people in America called this music?

"Here we are!" the man cried, and Erik thanked God that they were back at the hotel. He'd feared for a few moments there that his eardrums would burst.

The limo driver, who Erik noted was named "Ed", helped him out of the car and into his wheelchair. The man led him into the lobby where a very kind receptionist took him up to his room through the elevators.

Once inside his room, Erik collapsed on his bed and instantly fell asleep.

- - - - -

"Is he here?" a figure under the dark cloak asked.

"Who, er… Erik?" the hotel receptionist said.

"Yes. Is he here?" the figure whispered.

"Uh huh. Just be quiet, he hates loud noises. Except for that horrible Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. I can't st—" that was all the farther the woman got. The figure under the cloak decked her. The woman fell unconscious to the floor.

"Whoops." The figure grinned under its hood and ran to the stairs to make the long way up to Erik's room.

- - - -

"Erik? Erik?" a voice cried from outside of his room.

Erik awoke from another dream about Christine agreeing to marry him. Why again? It was going so pleasant. "Who is it?"

"Er… its… Hilary."

Sighing, Erik drug himself out of the bed and onto the wheelchair. He wheeled himself over to the door and swung it open. "What do you want now!" he demanded.

"To see you! I missed you. I'm sooo glad that you're awake now. Why wouldn't you wake up in the hospital? Oh never mind. I'm sorry that I knocked you off the bed. But the three day nurses course that I went to said that that can sometimes ease pain. I had to knock out that stupid receptionist! She said that Phantom of the Opera is bad. I punched her. Here let me help you back to bed. So how are you really feeling? I hope not too bad. You'll never believe what happened today. Dr. Perlman said that instead of helping him in the OR, I'm going to be his personal secretary. So when you come in to get your bandages off, I'll be there. Hopefully this job will go really well. I'm really looking forward to it. I can't believe how many jobs I've had. Yet people still love to hire me. They must be just as insane as me. Did you know that I've only just recovered from being legally insane? Last month. Speaking of insane, did you ever see that that crazy ride down on the coast called "Gullom's Revenge"? I love that ride. Do you like the Lord of the Rings? I do. Legolas is hot. But really, I don't like Orlando Bloom, just Legolas. Speaking of LOTR, did you know that I wrote a story about the Lord of the Rings and Dragonlance—some of my other favorite books—mixing together? It's hilarious. Did you ever think about the word "hilarious?" My friends and I used to call it Hilary-ous. Isn't that great! Speaking of hilarious, did you see that new movie, I Know You Killed Me Last Summer? Its sooo stupid that it's funny. Oh, wait. You wouldn't have seen it because you don't even live in America. You live in Paris. I bet life is just glamorous over there. I used to want to live there, but then my insanity problem, and well, you know how that goes. So instead I started trying out different jobs. Speaking of jobs, did you know that I'm an author? Yep. I've written lots of books. One or two of them are pretty popular too. That's how I can afford to switch jobs so much. I have at least a million dollars stashed in some bank somewhere. I think in Pennsylvania. Do you have your Phantom CD? Oh! There it is. Just let me switch this on. Now we can sing together. I love to sing. It's so fun. I've been taking voice lessons since I was in seventh grade. Can you believe that? I love it. Now maybe I can take voice lessons from you! Wouldn't that be fun, Erik? Man, you know what else I love to do? Talk. Talk Talk Talk Talk TALK! It's sooo awesome. When I was in eighth grade, my vocal teacher gave my friend and I a video to watch about what goes on in your throat when you talk and sing. It was so nasty that I couldn't even watch the whole thing. You want to see what it's like? Look as I open my mouth… Ith wrealy wrealy nathty. I think sthough tat leaph…"

"STOP!" Erik screamed.

"What?" Hilary blinked innocently.

"That is wrong! You just talked for five minutes straight. Now I'm really tired. Help me to bed." Erik glared at her, trying hard to be mad and not laugh. "Then can you please please please just go home for a while?"

"Home? I live right next door to you. At least I'm going to. There is a room there that is perfect for me. I just have to pay for it and sign in." Hilary helped Erik out of the wheelchair and helped him into bed. "That way I can always help you."

Erik sighed. Why was he feeling so attracted to this annoying woman? Voices inside his head screamed at him about Christine, but he couldn't help himself. As he pulled Hilary's head down to his, and just as their lips were about to touch…

BANG! BANG! BANG! At the door. Hilary jerked away. "They probably want me for making that receptionist unconscious!" Hilary ran and hid in the bathroom.

Erik relaxed on the bed and pretended that he was sleeping. He couldn't let Hilary be caught!

"Open up!" a voice said.

"Just come in. I'm tired." Erik moaned from the bed.

"We're here looking for a Miss. Hilary. Is she here?" the man asked.

"Hila- what? No. I never heard of her."

"Nothing was stolen or anything?" the man asked from outside the door.

"No. Not at all."

"Okay. Just keep your eye out." The man outside the door paused. "She's thought to be armed and… dangerous…"

Erik stifled his laughter 'till the man was far far way.

Hilary came out of the bathroom laughing as well. The romantic moment was gone and they both laughed.

There. Sorry it took me SOOO long to update. Ow. My fingers hurt from typing Hilary's talking. Really, she can talk that much. LOL. Hope you enjoyed it! R & R!

--Kara's fingers fell off just minutes later--