Disclaimer: Hey somebody stole final fantasy from me ... honest... nope didn't think you'd believe me. That's right I don't own the characters etc etc.

Chapter 2

It's so dark, so cold. I begin to walk through the darkness. Wait there's a light. I start towards it. I'm now standing in the quad, if it can be called that anymore. The floor stained with ash and blood, rotting decomposing corpses strewn about the ground. I walk towards the stage that is now in half collapsed and rusted, it shouldn't be like this. How this could have happened, after all they won didn't they? Looking at my bare blood covered feet I notice something under the stage. After kneeling down I realise, the taste of vomit rising in my throat, its children, small charred remains of children. My hand instinctively goes to my mouth but it's too late, I double over and heave. How could this be? Why? Why were there dead children under the stage? Had they been hiding, trying to shelter themselves from what happen here? I try to stand only to find myself back on my knees heaving again. After emptying my guts, I stand on shaky legs and walk closer the stage. I remember giving a speech once on this stage, when I was on the disciplinary committee, to new students. I choke back a bitter laugh. How ironic that their lives at garden began and ended here. Lightening streaks the sky and lights up their small unidentifiable faces. No this isn't right, I begin to back away, the faces... they're grinning at me. It must just be the light, another bolt danced across the sky, no not the light... they really are grinning, beckoning to me. I stagger backwards and trip over, did that one just, now don't be stupid, it did it moved.

"Come on get a grip." I say shaking my head. They can't move, they're dead, right? The boom of thunder fills the night air. It gets louder and louder till I have to cover my ears. A bright flash of lightening illuminates their grinning faces. They are starting to crawl out from under the stage I realise in panic. Coming towards me, their small blood stained hands reaching for me, trying to grab me. I shuffle backwards, the thunder now so loud that I can't hear my own scream, that I cannot hear the sound of the children approaching me, giggling, taunting me. I shuffle back until I feel wall, trapped, I shut my eyes and let out another inaudible scream. My legs kick wildly as I feel small hands touching, pulling at me, trying to take me back with them to spend eternity entombed beneath the crumbling stage to rot as one of their own. Their laughter getting louder until it drowns out even the thunder, always pulling at me, my nails scratch along the floor desperately clawing to find something to hold on to. They've nearly got me...

Seifer sat up in the infirmary bed screaming in shear terror, his eyes darting wildly around the room trying to place himself. Memories of the previous night came flooding back, he laid back panting. Just a dream, the dream. The same dream that had woken him in the same way every night of the last year. The door opened and in ran the doctor.

"What happened I heard screaming?" she asked walking to the side of Seifers bed.

"Nothing... just a dream." Seifer mumbled to himself.

"Nightmare eh?" She chuckled. Seifer glared at her.

"Yes. What's so fucking funny about it?"

"You're the last person I would expect to admit to having nightmares." Seifer and the doctor turned to face Quistis, who neither had heard enter. The doctor chuckled and made for the door.

"He's all yours. I'll be in my room if you need me." Quistis nodded as she left.

"So the great and powerful Seifer Almasy had a nightmare..."

"Fuck you Trepe. I don't need this shit from you, just leave me alone." He rolled over and put his head on the pillow.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said in defiance. "You have pushed me around for far too long, I lost my instructors licence because of you." He turned back to face her sitting up in the process.

"So what? You're here to laugh at me, to try to vindicate all that's happened to you? You want somebody to blame then fine, whatever."

"You sound just like Squall..." She giggled. Seifer growled, clenched his hand into a fist and hit the cabinet at the side of his bed. "What are you doing?!" He continued hitting, the thud of flesh against wood filled the room. Tears streaming down his contorted face. "Seifer... Seifer stop it you're hurting yourself." She ran to his side and shook him violently. Thud, thud, thud. "Seifer dammit stop!" Quistis climbed onto his bed grabbing his arms, blood from his split and swelling hand running onto her own. She continued shaking him. "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!" she screamed. Seifer stopped struggling and silence filled the room, looking at her face though blurry eyes, he realised that she too was crying.

"...I'm sorry." He whispered over the sound of Quistis' sobbing. The sobbing subsided and she stared down, into his blood shot eyes.

"What?" she asked in no more than a hoarse whisper.

"I... I said sorry."

"But you... you don't apologise... Seifer you've never said sorry to anyone, to me, before." Wiping tears from her cheeks.

"..." His hand throbbed in Quistis' tight grip.

"Why?" Still sobbing slightly she tried to regain her former composure, realising that she still had hold of his arm she slowly released it. She stood up smoothing creases out of her clothes. "Why are you here?" She asked picking up a bandage from the cabinet that Seifer had put a considerable crack in.

"I didn't want to..." he stopped in shock as Quistis gently took hold of his hand and began to bandage it. "What are you doing?"

"It'll get infected it you leave it." She stared into his eyes but the weren't the eyes of the boy she remember, no they were the eyes of a broken man. Quistis dropped her gaze back to his hand when she realised that she was staring.

"Why are you helping me? I tried to kill you... I... nearly killed everyone." Quistis looked into his tear stained blue-green eyes and sighed.

"... I... I don't blame you for that. I know that it wasn't your fault, matron told us about Ultimecia" He winced at the sound of her name "controlling you. I... I know that you..."

"Stop... just stop. I don't want to hear it." Seifer pulled his now bandaged hand from her grasp. "Go."

"But... I want to..."

"I don't deserve your help." Quistis opened her mouth to speak then closed it again, he had said all he was going to say. With that she left the infirmary without saying another word.

Quistis sighed, that hadn't been what she was expecting, she was hoping to find him unchanged by the last year. She wanted to be able to justify the hatred that she had for him, for the friends that she had lost, the trauma and pain that she had endured thinking that it had all some how been her fault. But seeing him in there, crying, a broken man, made her feel worse for hating him. Quistis pushed her hair out of her eyes and began to walk towards her dormitory.

"Quistis are you alright?" Came a voice from in front of her, Zell standing with his arms crossed walked towards her. Realising that she must look a state from crying Quistis blushed slightly.

"Yeah, I've just been to see Seifer." Zell clenched his fists at the name.

"Why what's he done to you? If he's upset you..."

"No, it's not like that. Zell, he's changed." She placed a hand caringly on his shoulder. "He even apologised to me..."

"No way." Zell turned after hearing footsteps behind him. "Oh, hi Sis."

"Hello what are you two talking about at this time of the morning?" Quistis looked at her watch 6 am, Ellone was right, it was early. She looked up realising that both Zell and Ellone were looking at her blood-splattered hands. Quistis lowered her hand and placed it behind her back.

"Is that blood?" demanded Zell grabbing her arms from behind her back. "Did he do this to you?" Quistis snatched her arms away from him.

"No Zell. This... this is Seifers blood, not mine." Zell gave here a confused look and backed away.

"What has he done to himself now?" Asked Ellone, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"It was me really... I said something about Squall it must have upset him. He started hitting the cupboard until his hands was bleeding. It was scary... he really wanted to hurt himself. I don't what it was... he just went crazy."

"I think that maybe Squall should go talk to him and try to sort this out once and for all." Said Ellone firmly, Zell and Quistis both nodded in agreement. "I'll have a word with him when he wakes up. And I think you two should think about getting some rest too."

"Yeah I need a shower and a lie down after that training session." Answered Zell as he began to saunter away. Ellone looked at Quistis and smiled.

"He'll be alright." With that she turned and started towards the library leaving Quistis standing alone.

"I can't." He answered closing the door to his dormitory.

"But Squall..." She followed him as he started towards the cafeteria. "He needs you."

"Seifer has never needed anyone." Squall stated matter-of-factly. "I... can't see him sis... not yet." He turned into the cafeteria and joined the queue for breakfast. As usual Zell was at the front ordering his daily fix of hotdogs.

"Why not? Why did you even bother saving him if you refuse to help him?" Ellone demanded. Anger momentarily flickered across Squalls usually passive face, he sighed.

"I can't talk to him, it would only make things worse. You read the letter, he blames me. What do you say to that? Sorry I ruined your life?"

"You say that like you believe it." Squall stepped forwards to the counter, he looked at the vender then turned to Ellone.

"I don't know what I believe anymore." With that he turned and paced out of the cafeteria. Ellone sighed this is not going to be easy she thought to herself and proceeded to purchase two slices of toast. She looked across the cafeteria and did not like what she saw, children laughing among themselves as if this were any normal school, not seeming to care that any day could come their orders to death or glory. She shook her head, she might not like this life but it was the life he, they all, had chosen to live. Realising that she had been stood thinking for quite a while, she blushed and began to scan the crowd for familiar faces. Ellone laughed to herself as her gaze fell upon Selphie and Irvine, they were hardly inconspicuous amidst the sea of uniforms. Selphie beamed as Ellone sat besides her and Irvine tipped his ever-present Stetson to her.

"Hey Ell. Was that Squall you were just with?" inquired Irvine, Ellone replied with a slight nod. "How is he? I haven't seen him since the other day."

"Yeah he was quite upset when me and Zell saw him." Piped Selphie between mouthfuls of cornflakes.

"He's not taking it very well, you see, Seifer had left a note..." she trailed off allowing Irvine to speak.

"Right, I found it on the mantelpiece." She nodded and continued.

"Well, basically, he blames Squall for a lot of the bad things that have happened to him." Irvine shook his head while Selphie stopped eating, Ellone feebly smiled at the pair.

"Hey guys, what's up?" They all turned to find Zell and Rinoa walking towards their table.

"Hi Zell, hi Rin." Greeted Ellone as Rinoa sat besides her, Zell took an unoccupied seat on the opposite side of the table. Rinoa looked around at her friends' sullen faces.

"What's up with you guys?"

"It's Squall..." Panic flashed across Rinoa's face as Ellone mentioned her boyfriends name.

"Why what's wrong with Squall? I... I haven't seen him since he brought Seifer back... is he ok?"

"We're not sure... Seifer left a note when he tried to" Ellone paused to swallow "kill himself, some of the things he wrote were about Squall. Squall was quite upset by it. I think he needs to go talk to Seifer but he won't."

"Good!" Everyone stared intensly at Rinoa. "If Seifer has upset Squall then he shouldn't talk to him."

"But Rinoa... if they don't talk we won't be able to help Seifer." Rinoa glared at Ellone as she stood up.

"So Squalls feelings don't come into this at all?" With that she turned on her heels and stormed out of the cafeteria.

The door to the infirmary opened and Quistis was greeted by the doctor.

"Quistis I'm glad you're here. I didn't know what to do so I phoned you."

"Why what's wrong? Is it Seifer? Has something happened?" She asked walking to the small side room which Seifer had inhabited sinces his arrival two nights ago.

"He's decided that he wants to leave." Quistis stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face the older woman.

"What? He can't leave, you can't let him leave."

"I can't stop him Quistis." Quistis continued into the small room to find Seifer pulling his coat on.

"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, seizing the hand she had bandaged the previous night. He began to lift his head to look her in the eyes then stopped and lowered his gaze back to the floor as he made for the door. Quistis still holding his hand pulled him back. "Answer me, dammit." To his surprised he did not have the strength to pull his hand away from the clutches of his ex-instructor, defeat flashed across his face and he sighed. "Seifer... please." His eyes closed and he dropped to the floor, his back against the wall, Quistis crouched besides him.

"Why?" He asked in no more than a whisper, holding his face in his hands.

"I want to help..." He shook his head, his face still embedded in his hands.

"I told you, I don't deserve your help." Seifer hoarse mumbled though his hands. "I... just want to die." Quistis noticed his breathing deepen, she realised that, again, he was crying. "Why can't... you..." Sobbing so much he was unable to finish speaking. Quistis began to reach towards his hand, hesitating, she noticed blood oozing from between his hands. She gently touched his hands and pulled them away from his face, holding them in her own for the briefest of moments. Blood from his nose was smeared around his lips and chin, tears ran down his face into the puddle that was forming on his lap. Quistis went to dry his tears with her hand, Seifer pushed her away violently and stood up. Seifer loomed over a shocked Quistis. He regained his composure, wiping his face with his sleeve he glared at her. He turned again towards the door.

"Coward." Quistis muttered audibly, Seifer froze then turned wildly and moved towards her. Kneeling over her he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her angily.

"What did you call me?!" He shouted demandingly. Quistis choked back tears, she was not about to show him that she was scared.

"I called you a coward Seifer, a coward." He shook her again, this time banging her head against the base of the bed. She yelped in pain, realisation flashed across his face and he released her shoulders and fell back to his previous position against the wall. Quistis took this moment to back away from him until she was sitting against the opposite wall, her hand went to the back of her head. Blood, he had made her bleed. She looked across at the shaking figure of Seifer Almasy, who returned the stare. Quistis realised that this was not the Seifer that she had been talking to last night. This was the monster.

"Coward? You have the nerve to call me a coward? You could never understand the pain that I've been through. Having my hopes and dreams twisted and used against me, my memories betrayed. To have you all want him." He began to raise his voice in anger. "So what? Now I'm supposed to believe that you want to help me? Help me?! You tried to kill me for fucks sake. Is it to make you feel better about yourselves? I will not be used again, not by you, not by anybody!" A solitary tear rolled down his now dried cheek.

"I never knew monsters could cry." She said dryly.

"I made peace with what I am a long time ago." He slowly stood again, before he knew it Quistis had positioned herself between him and the door.

"You could change." He laughed bitterly at the suggestion.

"Change? Who would let me? All those people in this garden, that would kill me if they knew that I was here? And what pray tell would you have me change to?" Before either of them knew what was happening he had hold of her again. "You want me to be like him, don't you? That's all any of you want with me. You want me to be like that... that bastard! I knew it. Just get out of my way."

"No."

"Get out of the way Quistis." This time more of a plead than demand.

"No." Shaking her head.

"... please."

"I can't let you leave Seifer, you'll have to kill me." She looked into his deep blood-shot blue-green eyes. He felt her eyes burning into him but was unable to break the stare.

"Quistis... I can't stay here... just let me go." Still staring.

"I will not let you go kill yourself Seifer." He broke the stare and turned away from her.

"Its my choice, not yours."

"Your mistake you mean." Seifer walked towards a small window in the far side of the room. Surely he can't think he'll fit though that Quistis thought to herself. Before she could stop him Seifer had smashed to window with his fist and had taken hold of a long shard of glass. He began to unravel to bandages that tightly surrounded both of his wrists.

Authors note: Ok that's the rest of chapter 2. Thanks again to anyone who's reviewed... you've given me a creative use for my insomnia :) I hope anyone reading this is enjoying and also I apologise to anyone who's finding it difficult to work out the time that's passed... I might re-write bits of the first 2 chapter so it makes a bit more sense... hopefully I'll have the next chapter or at least half of it done by this time next week... well thank you for reading and please don't forget to inflate my otherwise sizable ego by leaving a review... good or bad... it makes me feel popular :)