Disclaimer: Who would've guessed that I didn't own the characters…

Squall looked up from his desk as he heard a knock at the door. Ever since the Ultimecia incident Cid had had Squall up in his office dealing with paper work under the false claim that he was training Squall to become headmaster. In actuality the reason had been that people felt that Squall had been through enough and pushing any further could irreparably damage him. Deep inside Squall knew this was the case, after the time-compression incident he had been sent to a counsellor, who had claimed that Squall Leonhart was mentally unstable and unfit for active service. This revelation had been quite a blow to Squall and had made him often distant and irritable. So now he would be sent away on political missions or to help train the younger cadets.

"What?" He called to the knocking door. After the briefest of silenced the door slowly opened to reveal Rinoa, she flashed him a caring smile and then sat down on the other side of his desk.

"Hey, I just wanted to see how you were."

"Fine. Why wouldn't I be?" His voice was cold and empty, making her shudder.

"Well I was speaking to Ell and…" Before she had finished speaking, Squall moved from his seat to stand at the window.

"The answers no." He said, not turning back to face her.

"No?" Rinoa, who had become accustom to his mood swings over the last year, began to slowly walk toward him. "No to what?" she asked, gently placing her hand on his shoulder

"I'm not going to see Seifer. I've told Ellone and now I'm telling you." He answered pulling away from her and walking to the door. "I can't…" And with that he ran out of the room. After a moment Rinoa turned from the door to look out of the window.

"Why do you always run from me?" She muttered to herself, she was beginning to wonder whether Seifer really was the crazy one.

…

The bandages fell and landed in a crumpled pile around Seifers feet.

"Mistake? This is the only half decent thing I've ever done." He looked down at the stitches running down each of his wrists.

"How can you say that? Killing yourself won't make any of what you've done go away. People will still have to live with the consequences of your actions. This is not a way of making amends Seifer. You're just running like a scared child." Quistis stepped towards him, with her arm out stretched. "Just give it to me Seifer, I know you don't want to do this."

"I want this more than I've wanted anything in my entire life. Don't you get it? I break things, hurt people. I've lost everything that I ever cared about." He stepped away from her, gripping the shard so tight that his knuckles were white and his palms were bleeding. "Why won't you just let me die in peace?"

"I don't want you to die Seifer." She took another step forward.

"Why should I have to live in a world where I have nothing?" Seifer asked Quistis, who was staring at him in horror. "Why should I go on living just to be hated by everyone?" Quistis moved toward him again, noticing this Seifer pointed the shard at her. "Don't come any closer Quistis, I don't want to hurt you." Quistis stopped about a meter away from him.

"Then why are you doing this?"

"How else can I gain redemption for my crimes? There's too much blood on my hands. People that I didn't even know I condemned to death without a second thought… children, Quistis. I killed children."

"You did not kill them Seifer, Ultimecia…" Seifer lunged towards her knocking her to the ground.

"Don't say her name!" He yelled in anguish at the top of his voice. Pressing the shard of glass to her throat. "Don't ever say her name." Quistis became still under his weight, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Please don't hurt me." She whispered, on hearing these words Seifer came to his senses and realised what he was doing, as if shocked by his actions, he jumped up and moved to the corner of the room, facing the wall.

"I can't go on living in a world where I have nothing to offer but pain and suffering." He all but whispered. Quistis lay, perfectly still on the floor, her eyes still shut. "I'm empty, used up, there's nothing good left in me. All I want is to die, to not feel this pain anymore…" Quistis cautiously began to stand, her eyes fixated on Seifers back.

…

He walked, all the time staring down at his feet, thinking about that day. The day he had all but died, lost and alone in the emptiness of time. Why should he want to see the person responsible for that? Why did I even bother to save him? He thought to himself. Looking up Squall realised that he was now standing outside the infirmary, was it fate or perhaps even destiny that he was supposed to go through those doors to face his nemesis, he did not know. Sighing he leaned back against a wall, what am I supposed to do, what could I possibly say to him, what would he say back? These questions plagued the, once commanders mind. He stood in silent contemplation, until a scream irrupted from inside the infirmary. Reaching down to his belt, he cursed, he had not worn his gunblade in two month, yet it's ghost, as it were, still lingered by his side. Shaking his head, he cautiously made his way in to the infirmary.

…

I stand facing the wall with my back to you, my hands shaking. The pain growing inside me with every passing second filling me with hatred and anger, filling me with all the feelings that I wanted to be rid of. I knew that the only way that I could accomplish this was through my own demise, I knew that if I kept on breathing more people would suffer, more people would die. She kept saying that I could change, how wrong she was but still, I never wanted to hurt her, I never wanted to hurt anyone. All I wanted was for somebody to care, someone to give a damn whether I lived or died. But all anyone else wanted was him, it was always him, no matter what I did. When I was mean, he would protect you, when I was nice, he was nicer, damn it when I was sad he had to be sadder. I can't do anything right for you can I? Or is it because he rebuffed you, is that why you come to me? Or is it some twisted little game you're playing, making me dance to your every whim like a marionette? Why do you now claim that you care, what's different? I'm the same person I've always been and you've never cared before. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you but you have hurt me so much more, you have cut me deeper. I don't want to go on, not like this.

The shard moves towards my wrist once more and begins to dig, scratch, rip out the stitches. I star in awe as my life blood slowly begins to trickle away from me, inside, I feel somewhat happier to know that I a short time I will be leaving this mortal coil and world of pain. Starting on the second wrist, I feel your hand touch my shoulder. Turning to see your face stained with tears.

"Don't waste your tears on me." I said to you, you shook your head and reached towards the shard.

I never wanted to hurt you.

I tried to pull my arm away from you.

I tried to escape, but you kept coming back and trying again.

You wouldn't leave me alone.

I didn't mean it, didn't want it to happen, it was you.

If you'd have left me to do it then…

…you wouldn't be on the floor with a shard of glass piercing your chest.

Authors note: I'm so sorry this took so long and I'm very sorry that it's so short, I might add more to this chapter at a later date can't decide whether it's long enough to say all that needs to be said or not. Thanks for reading and extra thanks to kimahrigirl for giving me the kick up the ass I needed to get writing again. Please don't forget to review, even if it is just to tell me I'm crap.

Oh and by the way THIS ISN'T THE END SO DON'T STOP READING!