Disclaimer: I'm ALIVE!… but I still don't own the characters.

They say that blood is thicker than water, well what do they know anyway? Quistis' blood didn't seem any thicker than water as it soaked through her clothes and began to form a puddle on the floor around her deathly still body. Seifer stepped back, looking down at his hands, his bloody hands. He had done it again, killed yet another innocent.

"No… no" He muttered to himself, shaking his head, so caught up in his own thoughts that he did not hear the door open. Squall ran into the room, then as he saw Quistis' still form stopped dead in his tracks, blood, there was so much blood.

"Why?" He asked in little more than a whisper, without even looking away from the body on the floor. "Why did you do this?" Squalls voice was shaking as was the rest of him.

"I didn't mean to… I didn't" Seifers voice came out in monotone, his head still shaking as if he were a child trying to get out of punishment.

"It's always the same with you…" Squalls response visibly startled Seifer, his head snapped up and his eyes moved to Squall, who was still staring at Quistis. "You never mean to do anything but it still happens." The anger was building up in Squalls voice. "Everything you've ever done in your life…"

"You're wrong… I…"

"You what?" His eyes suddenly moved from the body on the floor to Seifers own eyes, engaging him with a cold stare.

"I never wanted to hurt her… never her…" His voice sounded distant, tired.

"Then why?"

"Why Seifer? Why don't you like the other children?" He shook his head as voices from the past resurfaced in his mind. "You can tell me."

"Because they hate me…" Seifer whispered closing his eyes to stop the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes.

"…what?" A sudden look of confusion fell across Squalls face, had Seifers comment been in response to his question?

"How does it feel?" Seifers eyes snapped open, an evil glare shooting across the room towards Squall, the monster had resurfaced.

"How does what feel?" The young commander asked, his voice rising, fists balling at his sides.

"To have become everything you hate." He moved swiftly towards Squall until they were stood face-to-face, noses almost touching. "Everything you loathe. How does it feel to have to rely on people, Squall?" Anger flashed across Squalls face, within a second he had Seifer by the collar, nothing else existed only Squall and Seifer.

"Why? Tell me why damn you! Why did you kill her you bastard." A mixed look of shock and hatred washed over Squalls face as Seifer began to, manically, laugh.

"Why did you steal Rinoa?" His question met by silence. "Doesn't feel nice does it, to be on the receiving end. You took something from me, so I've taken something from you."

"You bastard… it should be you… you should be dead not her, damn you!"

…

"…then why won't you let me die!" A scream erupted from Seifers mouth as he sat up in the bed, only to find himself restrained. His eye's darted around the empty, dark infirmary. Where had Squall gone? "What the hell?" He muttered tugging against the restraints that bound him to the bed.

Mere seconds later light poured into the room from an opening door, then a brief click later halogen lights flickered on, illuminating the infirmary.

"So you're awake then. How are you feeling?" The doctor spoke making her way towards him.

"Where is she? Where's Quistis?" His eye darted round the room, scanning, searching for any trace of where the body had been. It was safe to say the blond was shaken, almost scared, but nothing could have prepared him for the answer he received.

"She's in her room resting, why?" His eyes opened wide, in shock. But she's dead, I killed her. "Seifer, what's wrong you're shaking?"

"What happened? You have to tell me what happened." He demanded trying to sit up but finding himself unable due to the restraints.

"What happened before?" He nodded. "You tried to kill yourself, again, Seifer. Squall and I had to sedate you." What? That's not what I remember. Seifer brought a shaking hand to his head, what the fuck's going on?

"Quistis, what happened to Quistis?" His mind still rife with images of her body on the floor, surrounded in her own blood.

"Quistis, screamed and Squall and myself came to see if she was ok, the we sedated you." He shook his head, why didn't he remember any of it?

"But she's dead… I…" A laugh filled the room, a laugh? We're talking about someone's life here and all she can do is laugh?

"Seifer, Quistis is fine, a little shaken but fine, she's not dead."

…

"Seifer, give it to me." I replayed it over and over in my mind, every detail was given the utmost attention, even the way her hair looked, down to the number of tears streaking her face. Her hand placed on my shoulder. I pulled away, moved back towards the wall.

"I can't, I have to do this, Quistis." Her hand tried to reach me, to block me from my goal. I remember swiping her hand away from me and the hurt look on her face when I did so. The blood was dripping down my wrists, then along my hands where it finally came to my fingertips before it plummeted to the cold floor below.

"Please, Seifer, let me help you." More tears, her normal creamy white complexion become redder and blotchier with ever tear, herr normally bright eyes now dulled and bloodshot.

"The only way you can help me is to let me go." I had began to feel dizzy at this point, almost euphoric as my life ebbed away from me. I closed my eyes, wanting to embrace the death that was slowly coming over me, consuming my very being. My eye's flicked open for one last glance of her as you let out a sob. "Don't waste your tears on me." She shook her head at me, her eyes staring into mine talking to me, speaking to my soul, they said 'I care'. It was too late, I was too far-gone, and my soul was to tarnished to feel anything. The dizziness was overwhelming, that's when Quistis did it, leaping towards me, grasping my arm in a vice like grip. I struggled to pull my arm away from her but to no avail, so my arms sought to push her away, the shard somehow coming between my hands and her chest, a scream, her scream filled the room as Quistis fell. A few brief seconds she gurgled blood, wheezing for breath through blood filled lungs, then as Squall entered, she fell silent.

That was how I remembered it, to my recollection Squall didn't enter until Quistis was dead and the doctor didn't come into the infirmary at all. Then why? Why was the doctor now telling me that it didn't happen that way? Was she toying with me? Trying to teach me a lesson?

…

"Seifer? Seifer." Seifers eyes fluttered and looked towards the doctor. "What's wrong?"

"Get her. Get Quistis, now." Doctor Kadowaki stepped back, almost in surprise as the look of shock previously worn on Seifers face became a cool and reserved expression, his eyes almost glazed over, where they had been wide, almost scared. Without another word she turned and left the infirmary.

The time alone gave Seifer time to ponder over a few things, his present situation was a predominate thought in his mind, what if it had all been a mistake, if the doctor was wrong and Quistis was dead. Leonhart, he must have done this, he must have set all of this up to mess with Seifers mind. Wouldn't put it past him, the bastard, he thought coldly. Of course, the possibility that he, himself, was wrong never entered his mind.

The seconds alone, became minutes, then after a ten minute wait the door slid open. The figure of the doctor loomed in the doorway for a brief second, then entered the room followed by another, a tall, slender figure. Seifer, shook his head, it couldn't be.

"Quistis?" His voice shaky, this can't be happening, this can't be happening, he repeated over and over in his mind.

"I'll leave you two to talk." The doctor said casually as she made her exit.

"This isn't happening." Seifer whispered shaking his head. This wasn't right. How could she be here, he had seen her die the previous night, hadn't he.

"Seifer? Are you alright? You've gone pale…" She stated making her way to the chair besides his bed. Seifer tried to shift away from the woman as she approached but could only move so far before the restraints began to pull.

"Stay away!" He cried, writhing against his bindings, trying in vain to gain his freedom.

"Seifer?" She towered over the blond, a hand slowly moving to his cheek. He struggled again, attempting to squirm away from her touch in vain.

"You were dead… I saw you, you were dead!" Quistis pulled back the hand, placing it on the cold metal side rail of the bed.

"What are you talking about?" A look of confusion took over her features.

"I… I killed you." What the hell is going on? He thought as he saw the confusion on her face.

"Is that what you dreamt about?" Her expression softened as she gazed down at him.

"No… I… I don't know anymore, you were dead… it wasn't a dream." Was it? He stopped struggling and let his head fall back onto the soft pillow, his gaze burning into the sterile white ceiling above.

"Seifer, I don't understand." You wouldn't, would you? You never understood me at all did you, you never even care to try.

"Just go Quistis." A shiver ran down her back at the sound of the cold tone in his voice.

"What?" Shaking her head slightly, as if she hadn't heard his order.

"Just leave me alone."

"What the hell, Seifer! You can't just drag me here and then send me away." Her fists balled at her sides in anger.

"And just what the fuck do you want me to do?" His voice rose to a shout. "I can't kill myself, I can't send you away, so just what the fuck can I do, Trepe?" Seifer's eyes never moved from the ceiling as he spoke.

"You could stop being such a bastard and let the people who care about you help!" Quistis replied raising her voice to the same level as Seifer's. Once she had finished her hand rose to her mouth, had she just said that? Was she going to leave it at that, apparently not. "Maybe if you spent less time thinking about yourself…" As it conspired, Seifer didn't want to listen to anything else.

"What and started thinking more about others? Is that what you were going to say? I've spent my life thinking about others, thinking about why no one ever gave a damn. Don't try that caring bullshit on me Trepe, I'm not that bastard Leonhart, it won't work on me. You've never care, never bothered to notice me no matter what I did and now that I try to do the only decent thing I could with my life, you stop me. So you know what? Fuck you." His eyes shifted from the ceiling and moved towards Quistis, if looks could kill…

Nothing, silence, no witty comeback, no screaming match, just pure silence. Seifer continued to glare for a few seconds before returning his eye back to the ceiling. The sound of the door opening, then closing was the only way he knew he was alone once more.

Authors Note: All I can say is sorry this took so long, I had major writers block. I hope you like the strange plot twists… hopefully they'll get explained next chapter.

SORRY!