Chapter 65

Changed

The moment Gil had entered CSI Catherine had found him, her blue eyes were suspicious, her mouth pulled tight until she spoke.

"You didn't call me."

"Was I supposed to call you?" Gil feigned complete innocence.

"I left you a message on your answering machine," Catherine folded her arms. "I know you got it, even you couldn't be so completely absent minded as to not check your messages."

"Okay, okay, so I got the message…but I forgot to call. I was preoccupied. It happens, doesn't it?"

"With you it happens way too often," Catherine confessed, she trailed him all the way to his office.

Gil unlocked his office door and switched on the lights, stepped inside with Catherine still at his back. He let her in then shut the door. "What happened is Sara lost her temper. It happens."

"Stop saying 'it happens' like there's no explanation, okay? I don't buy that," Catherine folded her arms stubbornly. "With you, there's an explanation for everything. You just never choose to give them."

"Why do you have to be so damn meddlesome? Every time something happens in my life, you have to be the first one to find out what it is," Gil pointed out.

"Because you're my friend. Gil, as much as I'm happy you're starting this whole new life with Sara, I'm also worried about you."

"Worried about me?" he mused, he walked away from her to take off his jacket and throw it over the back of his chair.

"Look at you, when was the last time you actually slept, Grissom?" she demanded, "You look like crap…you come to work and you stress out not only because of the workload, but because of Sara. Your work is suffering, you're suffering to the point you're getting migraines…"

"One migraine. I had ONE migraine. And my work is not suffering."

"Yeah, right. You left yesterday in the middle of a shift leaving a crap load of paperwork that was due for the end of the day, which I ended up having to do to cover for your ass! Your phone was ringing off the hook yesterday and you weren't there to answer it. The powers that be know EVERYTHING that happens in this place, and if they find out about your relationship with Sara and how you've been putting it first, heads will ROLL, Grissom."

Gil winced at this. Okay, maybe my work is suffering just a tad, he thought. "Catherine, I don't want to hear all this right now…I have so much to do, so little time to do it in."

Catherine sighed, "You're going to end up getting yourself fired."

"Then I'll be fired," he turned and looked at her, "and I'll find something else."

"What about us!" Catherine demanded, "You're the one who runs this team, we NEED you here."

"As you've pointed out time and time again, Catherine. You could probably do my job," he sighed.

"You love your job. It'd kill you if you were fired."

"I love my job, yes," Gil said, "and I also love Sara. So much that if I have to risk my job for her…just to be there for her when she gets assaulted by a suspect, then so be it. I'm one of fifteen forensic entomologists in the country, I get job offers all the time. If I get fired, I can easily find something else."

"You get fired, and it'll bruise your reputation," Catherine leaned against the wall.

"My reputation has been long since bruised by my – what you deemed – political tone-deafness anyway," he reminded. "And despite that, I'm still receiving job offers constantly, trust me…there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it the roof might be threatening to cave in."

Catherine sighed.

"I appreciate the concern, I really do. But you don't need to worry about me."

"You know…you're like…a whole different person since you started this relationship with Sara, it's like we don't even know you anymore," Catherine finally admitted.

"So what if I'm a whole different person?" he felt his temper flare, "am I the only person in this room who made changes in their life?" he demanded, "you were a stripper Cath. Not only a stripper but a coked up stripper. You changed your whole life," he uttered under his breath. "You prioritized. So have I."

Catherine looked shaken at his hostility, at the bite in his tone. "Right…" she trailed off, "fine," she gave a shrug that feigned nonchalance, but he could see his words had cut deeper than they had meant to. She had left his office without uttering another word, leaving him feel very much like he'd just destroyed his friendship with her.

Great…why did I let that get to me? Why didn't I just bite my tongue? The answer came to him. Because you're Gil Grissom.

Handing the assignments out after his outburst with Catherine left things very awkward. Catherine didn't utter a word to him, just accepted the assignment without asking questions or demanding why he'd put her on an arson case instead of the murder case he knew she'd have wanted to work on.

Gil decided to let the others fly solo, but he assigned himself one of the tougher cases and decided to take Greg for field experience. Greg – as always – was enthusiastic to get outside of the lab.

In the car, things were quiet. Greg fiddled with the radio while Gil drove, and Gil – despite himself – found himself not minding a bit. He had more important things to worry about, like what Sara might be doing at that very minute in his house. What rooms she might be sliding into and what she might be searching for.

Just when he thought he'd entered the safe zone of work and that the only thing that might be discussed was the case…Greg spoke of something other than. "What's with Cath today…?"

"What'd you mean?"

"She ignored you when you were handing out assignments," Greg replied.

"Oh. I don't know…who knows with Catherine. I've probably said something politically incorrect," he lied.

"Catherine is pretty easy going…so…must be big…" Greg suggested.

"Perhaps it's PMS."

"Nah. Not for another two weeks," Greg responded.

Gil shuddered, the thought that Greg noticed the subtle differences in Catherine around 'that time of the month' was almost as scary as the fact that he himself noticed the same things from time to time.

"How's Sara?"

Gil heard the agitation in Greg's voice as he spoke Sara's name. It was an agitation that hadn't been there up until this point. Whether it was just out of concern for Sara, or if it was out of frustration that he could do nothing to help, Gil wasn't sure.

"Fine," Gil answered, "she's…fine."
"Fine?" Greg asked, disbelief covered his face like a mask, hiding the normal good natured expressions. "She nearly got strangled to death so I heard. That isn't fine…" he retorted. "That's far from fine. That's so beyond not fine."

"I don't know how else to say it, Greg," Gil responded, "she's fine. She has a little bruising around her neck, nothing serious, her voice isn't affected, and she was rather…chipper this morning."

"Chipper?" Greg asked, "this is Sara we're talking about, right?"

Gil ignored the comment, he concentrated on the road ahead.

"Is she fired?"

"No. Definitely not fired," Gil answered.

"Because she's your girlfriend?" Greg asked carefully, the expression on his face said he wished he hadn't said it at all.

Gil now found himself wishing he'd brought Nick or Warrick along instead of Greg. "Because she's a good CSI, and because she wasn't the only guilty party in what happened yesterday. This is nothing to do with her and me being in a relationship Greg. We have to maintain a professional attitude if we want to work together AND have a relationship."

Greg rolled down the window and let his arm rest where the window met the door, "so…if she's not fired…she's…?"

"Suspended. For a week," Gil answered. "She'll be back. Don't worry."

"How can I not worry?" Greg sighed, "she's Sara. Amazing Sara. If I were you, I'd be worried. REALLY worried."

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Because you always have that look of detachment. Like feeling anything would be a useless way to react."

"Is that what you think?" Gil asked.

Greg took a moment to think about this, he was staring at Gil, trying to work out what he felt about this, "Not always…but right now…yeah."

"Greg, trust me. I'm worried."

"If you say so," Greg responded.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Gil asked, hostile now.

"I never called you anything," Greg said with a nervous laugh, "I just figured if you were really worried about Sara, you'd like…be with her, as opposed to not being with her and being at work…"

"Oh?" Gil asked, he couldn't hide the bitterness in his voice.

"I mean…if I were you…and Sara was the one I loved…and she nearly got strangled to death by a psycho wife beater…I'd have at least taken the day off work…" Greg confessed.

"And then what?" Gil asked, he wondered what made Greg such an expert on romance. The guy had a string of girlfriends from one month to the next, as far as Gil knew, Greg hadn't had a proper steady relationship in quite some time.

Greg was silent for a moment, and Gil thought the conversation might have been dropped entirely. But then, Greg spoke up, "Spend the day talking with her if she wanted to talk about, if she didn't, spend the day thinking of ways to distract her from it. Pamper her and treat her like a queen. I'd buy her a rose for each and every single day I'd loved her," Greg's eyes twinkled, he smiled a little distantly, then he shrugged, "I'd just be there. Even if she said she didn't need me, I'd be there."

Gil sighed deeply to himself. It bothered him that Greg – this young man with only half the experience of life he himself had – seemed to have relationships figured out while he still found himself struggling with the simpler aspects. It seemed unfair and unjust. Shouldn't it have been the other way around?

God, he's right, Gil thought miserably. He's goddamn right. I shouldn't have left Sara alone – I should be spending the day with her trying to help her feel better about this…after what she admitted to me last night, she can't just be 'fine' instantly like she was this morning. She cried last night, damn it. Sara doesn't cry unless there's something severely wrong…something badly hurting her. She's not the kind of woman who cries at every tiny emotional incident that comes up.

Trying to focus on anything almost seemed impossible.

She went through stuff I've dealt with every week at work…I've seen how crazy it drives the victims who've lived through it…how could I believe for one second that she was fine…that talking about it would magically fix everything. I should have taken the week off to be with her…

Greg nudged Gil, "Uh, Grissom…you just drove past our crime scene."

Grissom swore under his breath. Okay, Gil Concentrate. Less than 8 hours. You can get through this. You can sign yourself off for tomorrow, and then you'll be with Sara…you CAN do this.

Thanks to everyone who keeps reviewing, means alot to me and it makes my day still!

I'm sorry this is another pretty blah chapter, lol. I'll try better for 66 ;)