Chapter 15
It was going to be a wet evening and night. Valia walked away from the storefront to get a better look at the building rain clouds in the west. There were no large bodies of water on Coruscant to generate storms or extreme weather, but rain did occur now and again. Just often enough to keep things interesting and rinse away the city dust and grime. She suddenly missed the violent thunderstorms she'd known on Nyme'. Lightning, thunder; loud but largely harmless displays of nature. She was lost in thought on this when she sensed a familiar presence behind her. A large hand settled softly on her shoulder.
"I'll walk you home," Qui-Gon offered. Valia smiled and turned around. He'd courteously taken her back to her apartment nearly every evening for the last several weeks. He'd never stayed, not for lack of Valia's invitations, but contented himself to safely see her home and then be on his way.
The two of them had visited an indoor forest, Coruscant's most extensive art museum, and an open air market where Valia did a lot of her shopping. Qui-Gon was charmingly clueless about the types of things men and women did as couples, so Valia had thought of some "safe" activities they could pursue in public. It had been pleasant, a peaceful relief to spend this time with him. No flirting, no teasing; just conversation. And she was now sure of her feelings for him. But she could not ignore the sense that things were in a state of suspense between them. It was as though they were both waiting for some sort of sign, something that would carry their relationship forward.
"I'll just be a minute," she told him.
She left a message for Chuluk to have a droid clean the flowers off the tables and chairs in the morning, first thing. Even now they messily littered the ground and were dropping around Qui-Gon's shadowy figure as she rejoined him to leave the store. Aahh, spring. She really needed to call her brother or cousins about that blasted tree...
She slid her hand around his forearm on his non-weapon side and he led her away to walk to the transport station. He seemed more quiet and thoughtful than usual this evening. Valia said nothing, content for now just to be near him. His silences did not bother her. Eventually she would find out what was on his mind.
They walked westward across the plaza and descended several wide flights of steps to a lower one. Still he said nothing. They worked their way up three more levels. Valia barely noticed the crowds they passed through. This was a route she had walked for years. She could have done it in her sleep, and had in fact nearly done that many times. Her attention was focused on the man who had to slow down his normal stride for her, and the hand that was lightly holding hers against his arm. He was intent on their surroundings, alert to every person, droid and thing.
They entered the wide-open base of a building. Inside, they boarded an elevator platform which would take them to the top to the departing taxis. At last Qui-Gon spoke.
"I trust your day went well? All ready for your inspection?"
"Yes. It was a busy one. As for the inspection, there's more cleaning to be done. Fruit juice can get into the oddest places." Her first store was scheduled for an inspection in two days. She always passed them with flying colors, but never hated them any less as the years went by.
A gust of humid air rolled over them as they arrived at the top of the station and waited for the right taxi. The smell of rain was strong now.
"Going to start raining any minute now," observed Qui-Gon.
"I know." Valia smiled at him. They took a seat on the taxi next to a window. Valia sat close to him, still holding his arm. The city glided beneath them. The lowering gray clouds hid the tops of the tallest buildings.
"What's on your mind, Qui-Gon?" she finally asked softly. He leaned back against the transparent curved window.
"I'm leaving Coruscant tomorrow for Dantooine. I don't know how long I'll be there." He'd just learned of a brewing civil unrest there from the Senate that morning.
Valia absorbed this bit of news. This is how it was. This is how it was always going to be for them. She sighed. "Well I suppose if you can tell me where you're going, it must not be a too sensitive or dangerous situation."
"Not necessarily. I don't expect it to be, but there are always unforeseen risks."
She caressed the arm she held. He hoped she wouldn't be fretful over him. He sensed her concern and was touched by it. "Don't worry yourself over it," he said lightly.
The notion of his own physical death was of little concern to him, when or how it would occur. It was, however, of much more significance to her. She would undoubtedly worry about the possibility of it happening every time he left her. And her fear and worrying would weigh on him. This was only one part of the danger of involving himself closely with her.
"Obi-Wan will go with you?"
"Yes, of course."
This strangely seemed to comfort her. They lapsed into silence once more. The taxi arrived at Valia's stop and they disembarked. A descent on another platform and more walking. Fine drops of rain began falling in fits and starts. Qui-Gon pulled his hood over his head and lifted the side of his robe around Valia. They were crossing a large courtyard filled with shallow, circular reflecting pools.
"Will you stay a while? Maybe this rain will blow over, and you won't have such a wet trip back." She hadn't asked in a couple of days. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding between them that his staying more than a few minutes would almost certainly result in their ending up in bed. This could never be a platonic, hands-off relationship.
When he didn't answer right away, she looked up at him. His face was pensive inside the darkness of his hood. She stopped walking, tugging him to a halt.
"I'm not going to force you." she turned to face him. "So to speak."
"I didn't say no."
"You didn't say yes, either."
She looked away and watched the raindrops fall into the pools, making overlapping rings of ripples. Her insides felt so heavy all at once. From hearing of his leaving. From this uncertainty. "When you told me you had to give yourself permission to...to touch me, to love me, I thought I was listening to you," she began. "But I don't think I was really thinking about what it would mean if you decided not to. If I could accept that." She sat down on the wet stone edging of one of the pools. When he'd told her he had too much respect for her and himself to take advantage of her the night she'd been dopy from antibiotics, she had later wondered if that self-respect was the largest part of that statement. "It's got to be your choice." He'd told her celibacy was highly recommended in the Order, but still a personal choice. As was the decision to deeply involve oneself with a personal relationship. A seriously committed Jedi did not.
"Lia, you're getting soaked." His face wore lines of concern. The rain was falling more steadily now.
"So are you."
He sighed and sat down beside her. Her hair was hanging limply down her back, already dripping.
"I don't want this to cause trouble for you. I can see this thing between us has caused conflict in you, between you and Obi-Wan, and I would imagine your Council is hardly going to approve."
"Obi-Wan has accepted this. His approval is immaterial anyway. And I will be able to focus on training him. As for the Council, my personal affairs are none of their business."
"Don't you care what they think of your standing as a Jedi? Don't you want to be on the Council? Aren't you worried this is going to cause another round of disapproval from them?"
Qui-Gon laughed, but it was a joyless sound. "No, no, and no, in that order, my dear." He put an arm around her. "When I told you I loved you, I meant it with all my heart." He paused thoughtfully. "Even without this, I have somewhat of a reputation for...going my own way." He regarded her intently. Her thoughts were for him, not herself. "You should not concern yourself with things like that, things that are outside your scope of control. What others might do and how they react. You must focus on how you control your own feelings and actions."
She wiped rainwater from her face. "I wish I could see into the future. I was wondering just yesterday if...if our being together is going to turn out to be a mistake." Would this indeed be a crazy mistake, one more painful life lesson for each one of them?
"This doesn't sound like the Lia I know. Living as though each action might be a mistake." He looked down at her. "Does this feel like a mistake to you, my little one?" It certainly didn't to him.
She smiled at him, but for once the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Of course I don't want it to. No. No, it doesn't. But...I am going to miss you while you're gone. It hurts already."
Knowing he should take his own advice about not worrying about the way others might react, he still cringed at the idea of her feeling any kind of pain because of him. It was the last thing he wanted.
"I can walk the rest of the way from here, if you want to get back. You probably have to get ready for tomorrow." She wasn't looking at him, as though she wanted him to be gone and leave her alone to deal with her feelings. "And whatever you decide...I'll respect it." It wouldn't be the first time she'd had to let something go, something she was sure she'd had, because of a decision made by someone else. But there was no bitterness in her now, about this, or about the farm. Just a strange, peaceful acceptance. As though somehow, no matter what, it would all work out for good.
Qui-Gon Jinn sat in the rain next to the woman he'd told he loved. He did. But she was willing to let him go, willing to give him more time or even let him walk away from her completely.
"I love you." She said it abruptly, softly. With certainty. She turned to look him directly in the eyes.
He sat very still. How arrogant he'd been to think he didn't need, didn't want to hear her say that to him, that it didn't matter. If he hadn't already been sitting down, he probably would have had to do so, he was moved so. She loved him. Him.
Enough already. It was too late to go backwards, to fall out of love with her, if that had ever been possible. He was making this more complicated than it had to be. He was thinking about this too much. It was really quite simple. His heart was hammering at him to go to her, to be with her, to love her. What if he did indeed die tomorrow? To never have known her in every way, loved her the way she wanted to be loved...That would be the mistake. He must go forward.
And after all, he was only human.
He stood, and drew her to her feet. She looked up at him with questioning eyes.
"I've had a premonition. That day you were wondering about a few weeks ago?"
She nodded slowly.
"It might just be today."
A smile dawned on her face. He hauled her off her feet and held her against him in a lung-squeezing embrace. She drew her head back to look into his eyes, her surprised face wet. Now?
Now.
She laughed as he swung her around in joyous, crazy circles in the pouring rain. He kissed her hard and tasted salty tears with the rain. He set her back down and they splashed the rest of the way to her apartment.
Only a passing maintenance droid saw them outside her door. It made agitated, disapproving noises at the rainwater dripping from their clothing all over the hallway floor.
Valia had climbed Qui-Gon like a tree. She'd wrapped one arm and both legs around him. With her other arm she reached back blindly for the door sensor to place her hand on it so it would scan and open. It took some time to accomplish this, locked as she was in a kiss with him. It was whiskery, but most definitely not slow and lazy. It was more like the other kind she'd imagined with him, the plundering kind. At last she got the door to open, and they both nearly fell inside.
The first item of clothing to hit the floor was Qui-Gon's robe. Waterproof only to a point, it was soaked and fell heavily in a sodden heap. Dispensing with any preamble herself, Valia was kicking off her boots and fighting her way out of her own cloak. She flung it aside, hungrily watching him begin to undress. She hopped clumsily out of her pants. They clung stubbornly around her knees. She dropped to the floor to yank them off. After all this, to be thwarted by something like clothing. Deciding to be helpful and since she was already on the floor anyway, she grabbed at Qui-Gon's boots, fumbling with the buckles. She nearly upended him. He laughed at her, and at himself. He joined her on the floor and finished taking them off himself. Returning her helpfulness, he started unbuttoning the front of her shirt. She lunged at his mouth again. He blindly continued to undo the fasteners made tight and awkward by the wet cloth. He kissed her back, reaching out to her mind with his own. He caught the briefest flutter of doubt in her thoughts, despite the frenzy of what they were doing. Did he really want this?
"I'm not going to change my mind," he murmured softly against her cheek. She seemed to relax her greedy grabbing slightly. Now she was tugging at the layers of his tunic, trying unsuccessfully to yank them out from under his belt. She reached for that next, groping around his waist trying to find the fasteners to release it. He finished with her shirt and then undid his belt for her.
He paused just long enough to respectfully lay his lightsaber on an end table and make a mental note of exactly where it was. Then he returned to the battle to remove wet clothing. He shrugged off the first layer of his tunic and pulled the others off over his head. Valia was way ahead him, having stripped everything off but was still struggling with her long sleeves. She was fighting them behind her back. The clinging wet fabric refused to slide off and held her arms prisoners. The wanton picture she made wriggling all but naked on the floor arching her breasts outward had a curiously attractive effect on Qui-Gon. In one swift move he was on her with a noise between a grunt and a growl. She gave a short moan of frustration as she was pinned to the floor, now unable to do anything at all with her arms. She realized she was almost completely naked, more or less tied up, and willingly lying underneath a very large, very sex-deprived man. She shivered with wicked delight at the idea.
"Cold?" He murmured in her ear. She responded with a low laugh.
"No..."
He then reached around to gently help her out of her stubborn sleeves. When her arms were loose she wrapped them around his back, where they belonged. Their moist skin stuck, clung and pulled where it touched. She spread her fingers wide and let them wander all over him. She reclaimed his mouth and tongue. She slid her hands up his neck and clutched handfuls of his damp hair. The idea of seeing him without it tied back appealed to her so she reached up and started working it loose. Qui-Gon made a gruff sound against her mouth. She really wanted everything off. Without breaking his mouth away from hers, he reached up and undid his hair before she could painfully pull at it any harder. He tossed the tie over his shoulder.
He wrapped his own arms around her and cradled her tightly against his chest. He was nearly overcome with the heady sensations of having her this close, of her bare skin against his, her small finely shaped breasts pressed against him. This was going to be all over in about twenty seconds if he didn't slow it down. Finally there was nothing between them. No bar counters, no table, no clothing, no self-forbidding edicts. Nothing to prevent this final physical melding with her.
It occurred to him he was still wearing his trousers. Those would surely be the next thing her long, strong hands would attack. He reached down between their bodies to start removing them himself. She made a short moan to stop him.
"Not on the floor. At least not this time."
His brow wrinkled with curiosity, and he smiled down at her. "And how many times do we do this before the floor is acceptable?"
She only answered him with a shy smile.
"Carry me to bed. Carry me."
Anything she wanted. Anything for her. Such a simple thing to oblige this soft request. He got to his feet and reached down to help her stand. He paused to slowly look her up and down, blatantly admiring her body. He reached toward her hair and slowly removed the combs securing it above her ears. When it tumbled loose, he fisted a damp section of it against the back of her head and pulled her against him for another kiss. She made a low sound of delight as he crushed her against him. She seemed to melt every time he let her see the animal hunger and thirst he had for her.
He lifted her off her feet and carried her the few steps into her bedroom. He placed her carefully on the bed and followed her down onto it. Now she snaked her hands down to his waist and began struggling to remove his pants.
"Patience, my greedy little one..."
"No! Not now!"
He laughed at her, at the nail-raking desire he saw in her beautiful dark half-closed eyes. It was by no means laughter at her expense, because he was sure it only mirrored what was in his own eyes. A very small part of him still couldn't believe he was doing this; that out of everyone in the universe, she felt this way for him. She loved him, wanted him.
There was nothing else to do now but what he usually did in life, and that was to bravely charge forward. The first task was to give the lady what she wanted. He unfastened his trousers and then held out his arms as if to say, go ahead. Valia understood with crystal clarity and pulled everything off, letting her hands skim his body from his waist to his ankles. She carelessly flung this last barrier to the floor.
Oh, my.
What to do first? Valia didn't want to waste time staring at him, but she couldn't help taking a good long look at his rough-cut beauty. What a fine steward of his body he'd been. All that physical conditioning had paid off in the form of lean, large muscles. Everything about him was large, well proportioned. Everything. His eyes bright and his hair wildly loose, he looked down at her unselfconsciously as she checked him out.
When she remembered how to breathe again, she realized he was waiting for a cue from her to tell him exactly how she wanted him to proceed. The thought that had been lurking in the back of her mind pounced forward. What if...What if he had absolutely no idea what to do? She had assumed he would be this fabulously skilled lover, but how could he be after a couple decades of abstinence? She dropped her eyes. It didn't matter. The mental and emotional bond between them was more precious...
"If you're wondering what I think you're wondering," Qui-Gon said softly, "I think I've got the basic mechanics down." He was pulling the covers aside, and gestured for her to get under them. It hadn't taken keen Jedi senses to notice her chill-pebbled skin. "But you are still going to have to tell me what you want, how hard you want it and where you want it done."
Valia pulled him under the covers with her and held him close. She fitted herself against him, savoring the feel of his warm skin and big solid body.
"Let's not get bogged down with technique. This isn't like...saber practice." She smoothed back his hair. "Besides, that makes it sound like I've hired you out for a job," she said with a touch of dismay. She either had a major problem here, or every woman's fantasy: a man whose first concern was her pleasure, who cared little for his own. "This is as much for you as it is for me."
"That didn't come out quite the way I meant." He had laid one hand on her neck and was slowly stroking her jawbone with his thumb. The casually sensuous gesture was making her crazy with desire. She wanted to take it in her mouth.
"Lia...I'm not going to tell you I know you so well that I can guess all of your...preferences. How you like to be touched."
She stroked the wrist of the hand he was touching her face with, so he would leave it there, keep doing that. She had absolutely no problem with what he was doing at the moment.
"Well, I'm not into anything too bizarre or painful."
"I'm so relieved." He held her hand against his face with his other hand and softly kissed her palm. "I'm not either."
What a rare treasure she had here with her. This was a refreshing change from the sexual braggarts of her past. His ego was healthy, but not so big that it kept him from honestly asking her for direction and being considerate of her. She loved him all the more for it. Here, too, was someone who had been the teacher, the master for half his life. He was willing to stop and be the learner if necessary. If he was anything like his student, he'd be a quick study.
But at the moment Qui-Gon truly was at a loss as to what to do next. He didn't know exactly what to do with his hands, where to put them. The hands that could wield a lightsaber as quick as a thought, that could still heft the ancient metal broadsword that had belonged to his master, that could cool a feverish forehead...where exactly did she want him to put them?
Chagrined at her earlier greedy, grabby behavior, Valia had relaxed. She needed to take very good care of him here. She closed her eyes and slowly ran her tongue up his thumb and took it in her mouth. He watched her, captivated by the erotic sight and sensations. She released him and gave him a slit-eyed smile. "Just touch me. Wherever you want. Where do you want to touch me?"
He looked at her with a slightly moonstruck expression. "Everywhere," he whispered.
Valia smiled into his eyes the whole time she was very slowly sliding her hand down his chest, his stomach, a little lower...but not there, not just yet "So do I." She softly dragged parted lips up and down his face. "Are you touch-deprived, Qui-Gon?"
"If I was," his breath caught as her hands caressed, coming close to his sword-like arousal, then skimming away. "I've got a feeling I'm not going to be any more."
They proceeded to lovingly explore one another. His thoughts brushed her mind with the same tenderness his hands did. They communed silently except for the occasional murmured suggestion or endearment, or hushed laugh from her.
What Qui-Gon lacked in experience he made up for with intuition and instinct. His job was made easier in that her sensual nature and marvelously responsive body told him exactly what she wanted. Every flutter of muscle, intake of breath and smile guided him. He learned well, and remembered. He made himself focus on his own sensations and pleasure, the caress of her fingers and lips on him. Just for now, for this, his body's responses were something to be savored for their own sake, not blocked or shunted aside.
She learned, as well. Somehow his hands and lips found odd sweet spots on her she had no idea she had. She wilted helplessly with pleasure when he kissed her between her shoulder blades, on the backs of her ears, a spot between her navel and her hipbone. She found out just where his adventurous mouth was all too willing to go. He left the now familiar territory of her face, neck and breasts and slowly journeyed southward. Valia's smile slowly grew as she watched him. Her knight was on a quest. He left a trail of kisses through the shadow of a breast, across her ribcage, the silky skin of her flat belly, lower still... Would he go there? Would he do that? Oh yes. Oh yes, he would. Valia gasped a small mew of pleasure and arched her back as she gave him this most intimate taste of her. He dragged a pillow over and pushed it under the small of her back. Her fingers tangled in his hair while his tongue found the hard nub of nerves hidden in the pale fur. A short time later, she returned this favor for him. She enjoyed the thrill of briefly having him completely at her mercy. She slanted her eyes so she could see the look on his face while her lips and tongue loved the hot, hard length of him. She was most definitely making him smile.
When the wait became unbearable, when the fire between them had to be quenched, she invited him into her. Her breath hissed between her teeth and she lightly bit his shoulder as his slid into her. She felt his hesitation. Both of them were far from innocent virgins, but he was far too worried about hurting her.
"You're not hurting me," she whispered, encouraging him. "You won't." She arched against his weight, plunging him into her liquid heat to the hilt.
At a complete loss for words or coherent thought, Qui-Gon froze. If only time could stand still just for a while, just so he could absorb the sweetness of being inside her. But she was already urging him to move, grasping at his lower back, his buttocks. Her head was already thrown back in ecstasy. He towered over her, his hands planted on either side of her shoulders. It didn't take long for them to settle on a rhythm that suited them both, to find those perfect ways to apply pressure.
Valia felt herself closing in on her climax. Wanting to take him along with her, she slid her arms up Qui-Gon's, wound her hands through his hanging hair and pulled him down to her. She wanted his mouth on hers and she hungrily claimed it until she could no longer catch her breath through her nostrils. She wrenched away and gasped as she neared the edge. His long sure strokes sent her over.
A nearly forgotten past experience flashed through Valia's mind, the only one that could compare to the intensity of this. As a very small child she had fallen into an irrigation stream and plunged over a small waterfall. The helpless terror and excitement as the current dragged her under and down, the breathless fright at what awaited her. And then the laughter that had filled her to bursting after she'd lived through the ride, to be snatched dripping into some frantic relative's arms. And the desire to jump in again.
She took one last look at the face of her lover before she had to close her eyes. She writhed and gave herself to the convulsive pleasure. She heard herself crying out at the wild sweetness of it.
At last when her breathing had slowed and her heart no longer tried to fly out of her chest, she relaxed her rigid muscles and went pliant and sweaty beneath him. She relaxed her fingers from where they threatened to gouge his kidneys.
Qui-Gon watched her climax with fascination, the way it consumed her body and spirit. He felt her convulsively flutter and clutch around his shaft as though to pull him impossibly deeper into her. A light sheen of love sweat bloomed on her. She smiled dreamily and opened her eyes.
Why had he stopped? Panting, Valia gave him a questioning look. Even now, unbelievably, he was holding himself back. What did he need from her, what did he want? He eyes softly pleaded for him to let go, take what she'd just enjoyed, join her in the rapturous place she was. She slid her legs along his, and around him. She stroked her hands over him, caressing wherever she could reach, the deep curve of his lower back, the hollow between his shoulder blades. Without another move he spilled himself into her. His brows contorted in an agonized expression and his neck corded as pleasure roughly savaged him. He went rigid, completely pinning her against the bed. A deep groan and a sigh escaped him as he buried his face into the side of her head. He hoarsely whispered her name.
For some minutes there were no words. No thoughts. Valia held him to her, stroking his hair. She could have held him like that forever. At last Qui-Gon raised his head. He pushed both their hair out of their faces and looked at her with eyes gone dreamy as hers. Her eyelids fluttered downward and she smiled demurely. He nearly laughed. After what they'd just shared, and now she went all shy on him. Yet he understood her sudden need for a little space, and he gave it to her, saying or thinking nothing while his heart flooded to impossibly new heights with more love for her.
She reflexively clung to him when he shifted off her.
"I'm not going anywhere just yet, my sweet." he murmured. He took one of her hands and threaded his fingers through hers while he reached around the top of her head with his other to stroke the fine silky hair at her temple. He kissed the outer corners of her closed eyes, her eyelids. He rubbed the tip of her nose with his own. She smiled at the tickling and at his sweet urgings to come back to him. She stroked his wild banner of hair. Her hand swept up and down his back with light, tentative possessiveness.
Yours, his eyes told her when she looked into them. She smiled. She could feel his emotions pulsing wildly, surrounding her. She'd never felt this close to another being in her life. She squeezed him with her arms. Yours, hereyes answered.
Eventually Valia's practical nature surfaced. "All those wet clothes on the floor," she murmured against his furry jaw. "They aren't going to pick themselves up, I suppose."
"So?" came the mildly insolent response. His newly confident hands were starting another quest on her body. Great flaming gobs of...she wanted him again already, and there was ample evidence pressed against her thigh he wanted her again, too.
"Do we need to put them back on again?" he asked her from between her breasts. He took one nipple in his mouth.
Valia's lips curved into a lazy smile that told him she was perfectly satisfied with their current state of dress.
"Then leave all that be for now..."
Qui-Gon Jinn was propped on his elbows, concentrating on not flinching. Among the many things he had learned this evening was how ticklish his own ears were. The upper edge of his left one was between Valia's teeth and lips.
"You have the cutest ears. They're irresistible," she told him as she lay sprawled across his back, nibbling on him. He laughed softly. One more vital piece of information he had never known.
Valia's apologies for the scratches she'd left on his lower back were tempered with a sly glitter in her eyes. Qui-Gon's reassurances that they were nothing to worry about came to her with a flickering smile that widened as she told him she hoped no one would see them. The teasing look on his face suggested he might be dared into displaying them for nothing more than shock value, his own dignity intact. She shot him a look of her own, then doctored them with a synth-flesh derived solution that made them disappear.
They'd stayed in bed as darkness fell on the rainy city outside. He'd gently winnowed his fingers through her hair until it was dry. She'd traced every scar on him with her fingertips and lips, particularly the long one across his upper back. She'd wanted to know the stories behind them all. Touched, he smiled as she tried to kiss away their long forgotten pain.
Valia thought his wonderment over her own body was hilarious. He was curiously fascinated by minutiae that she didn't think to notice, and things that privately revolted her, such as the stretch marks on the sides of her breasts and the long hairs around her navel. She laughed at his loving revelment in her. He made her feel like a miraculous creation.
When her stomach growled hungrily against his back, he turned to regard her questioningly.
"Oh, rot," she laughed. "I'm afraid I hadn't planned on eating in tonight. There's nothing ready to eat in the kitchen. How about you? Are you hungry?"
Banishing fear was second nature to a Jedi. Yet a look of extreme concern crossed Qui-Gon's face at the idea of her in the kitchen. She playfully shoved him when she saw it. "I'm not going to cook, all right? I'll order something in."
"Did you have other plans tonight?"
"Nothing that can't be missed."
"Lia...?"
"Just someone's birthday party. Probably too much eating, drinking, smoking, dirty stories..."
"Do you want to go?"
Valia looked at him as if he'd gone mad. She pushed him over on his back. "That had better be more of your droll wit, Master Jinn," she warned teasingly. "No," she smiled. "I'm staying right here. And so are you. I'd rather party with you."
"At least you're appropriately dressed."
"Oh, ha, ha. Yes. In my birthday suit."
"It's very lovely," he said placing a kiss in what was becoming one of his very favorite spots on her body, the satiny skin between her breasts. He drifted over to where he could feel her heartbeat with his lips and sighed. "So nice."
"I really like yours, too."
"It serves. If you don't mind a bit of wear and tear."
"Not at all." She affectionately held his head to her and nuzzled the top of his head, trying to memorize the scent of him. Something to keep with her when he was gone. "Speaking of clothes..." She reluctantly pulled away from him and went to a closet. "I have something for you." She pawed through the clothes stuffed into it until she found what she was looking for. She'd taken a calculated risk in buying the robe. She smiled as she turned to offer it to Qui-Gon, thinking the gamble had paid off very nicely. "I know you can't take material gifts, but this is for you to wear while you're here."
A lopsided smile tugged at Qui-Gon's mouth. The picture he made reclining in the hopeless tangle of her bed made Valia want to fling it aside and leap on him again. Then she smiled too, at the comical irony of her worrying about offending his Jedi code of ethics. After the two of them had quite enthusiastically pounded part of them into the sheets.
"Thank you," he said simply, taking it from her.
She tossed on her own robe. "Not that I mind you staying the way you are, but I want you to be comfortable." She sighed. "I suppose I'd better tell Ravi or someone I won't be there tonight. I need to think up some good excuse." She straightened her pale thick mane of hair.
"There's no need to tell lies. There's also no need to reveal too much, either."
"You're right. Then I'll see about getting us some dinner."
"You don't need to go to all kinds of trouble on my behalf."
"But I want to."
He started to protest again, and she quickly sank down on the bed beside him and held a finger to his lips. "Let me take care of you. Please."
Qui-Gon saw it would be wise to acquiesce.
Valia busied herself at her comm station between the living room and the kitchen. Qui-Gon settled himself on the couch to catch a news holo. He recognized Ravi's voice. He heard his loud squawk of protest from the other end of the voice-only link. This was followed a short time later by a raucous and knowing laugh. Valia firmly and repeatedly refused his entreaties for more information and to turn on the visual link. Valia's side of the conversation consisted of pleading alternated with humorous threats. Having settled on a particular shade of the truth for the young playwright to convey to the rest of the party, they ended the conversation. There followed a link-up to a favorite restaurant, where Valia gleefully selected items, the number and variety of which made Qui-Gon give her a curious look from across the room. She answered him by flashing him a grin. She then bypassed the menu and had a very chatty exchange with the restaurant's owner.
Finished, she joined him on the couch. But first she paused to admire him. The floor-length black silk robe suited him quite well. She had longed to see him in something other than his usual serviceable brown. It was loose and roomy, even on his big frame, but damn, was he doing nice things to the fabric. There lounged a dark, muscular warrior, a noble ambassador, but mostly a satisfied male who had just been well and thoroughly loved.
An astonishing amount of food was delivered a short time later, and the meal that followed was unique, at least to Qui-Gon. He typically ate because his body told him it was time to do so. He was wise and conservative in his eating habits, but he could savor the delights of good cooking. Yet he would have been hard pressed to recall the exact flavors of the food that he'd eaten this night, mostly because of the inventive ways in which it was served to him. His hostess had taken great delight in selecting items that didn't require a utensil to eat. She used her fingers to feed him, and when they both discovered he enjoyed it, her lips. While he didn't feel so strongly toward food, he took pleasure in watching her be seduced by the sensual flavors and textures of their feast. He enjoyed her rapture when he peeled a small fruit for her and fed her the juicy segments inside one by one. He cracked the shells of steamed shellfish and let her nibble the soft morsels from his fingers.
The meal became a playful game. Valia placed a morsel of marinated meat in her cleavage and tossed him an inviting look. When he hesitated, her look became a dare. She yelped and laughed when he lunged at her and snatched it off her with his mouth. She squirmed helplessly as he held her still and cleaned every trace of sauce from her skin. She served the rest of the meal to him using her body as his plate.
"Your table manners are...unspeakable, Miss Traxis," he murmured against the skin of her belly. He'd never done anything like this in his life.
"Oh, as if I eat like this every day. As if you've got room to talk." She smiled sweetly and picked several bread crumbs out of his hair and a bit of sautéed Mimban tree orchid root out of his beard. "As if you didn't enjoy it."
"I confess. I did." It had been scandalously delicious.
"I've got many more ideas I think you would enjoy."
"Hmmmm." He gave her an indulgent smile. She took her fleshly pleasures quite seriously. He was going to have to be very cautious. Later.
"Teacher you might be, but I'll bet I could teach you a thing or three."
"I have no doubt you could." She already had.
"A famous philosopher once said, when the student is ready, the teacher appears."
"That is true, but I'm not sure if this is the type of thing he was talking about." She had sat up from where she had been lying on the table and was sliding her hands under his robe. One of her hands coasted down his stomach and closed around his yet again iron-hard member. They were nose to nose. He was losing himself in her eyes again. And her body. Her breasts and erect nipples were rubbing against his chest. She sighed and sensuously licked his face from his cheekbone to his temple.
"You philosophy-quoting little hedonist..." he rasped against her cheek. He spanned her waist with his hands and roved them downward over her buttocks. He pulled her to him off the table and down to the floor on top of him. "Decadent little wench," he murmured, roughly pulling her robe open. She drew in a shuddering breath, suddenly unbelievably turned on by what passed for dirty talk from him and his abrupt taking charge.
"On the floor. Do me on the floor. Right now," she whispered as she helped him inside her.
It was so much faster when there wasn't all that clothing to fumble with. She rode him to a simultaneous, shouting climax on her kitchen floor.
When their breathing had slowed to contented quiet, she raised her head from his shoulder. She stifled a giggle as she surveyed the apartment. It hadn't been in a state like this in years. But it was truly a joyous mess. She smiled blissfully.
"Looks like someone had quite a party here."
Qui-Gon dazedly studied the ceiling from his position on the floor. He considered the tempting idea of falling asleep right where he lay, complete with foolish smile on his face. The odd expression 'loved to death' crossed his mind. However he sat up and joined her in looking at the room. "I'll help clean this up." He kindly plucked a piece of izziwip peel out of her hair. "Then we'd both better get some sleep."
Together they attacked the disorder and mess. They gathered strewn clothing and fed it to the laundry processor. They put uneaten food into storage and discarded the scattered empty containers. Valia restored the destroyed bed back to order while Qui-Gon ordered the sweeper droid through several cycles over her floors.
They washed up and joined in her bed to sleep. Qui-Gon would have preferred the floor, closer to the simple pallet he was used to. But this night he would forgo habit and a bit of sleep just to be close to her for a few more hours. Cuddled against him, Valia drifted to sleep first in a haze of warm contentment. He held her with his nose and lips buried in the hair at the crown of her head and soon followed her.
Qui-Gon woke knowing exactly where he was and why he was there. The room was completely dark but he knew where she was and how she lay. She slept as she lived, openly and honestly. She was on her back, her arms flung wide, taking up nearly the entire bed. Clearly she was not used to sharing it with someone else. He'd nearly wound up on the floor after all. Still, he decided he liked waking up next to her very much. He slid on his belly until he was leaning over her face. He savored a moment to admire her. Then he took a section of his hair and lightly brushed it across her nose. She frowned and reached up to rub it. She settled back to sleep. He brushed her cheek and chin. This time she growled and rolled over. He sensed her reluctant awakening.
"Good morning," he greeted her softly. There was a long silence. Then she moaned.
"If you say so." She could sense nothing but darkness through her eyelids. What in the Core Worlds was he doing awake already at this hour, sounding happily full of himself? Hadn't she just closed her eyes mere minutes ago?
"Come out and watch the sunrise with me."
There was the expected silence from her in response to this request during which Qui-Gon could see the pained disbelief wrinkling her silky brows. Fuzzy questions stumbled over each other in her mind. "Why?" She settled for the simplest one.
"Because I believe in starting the day early. And I know it's going to be a good one."
Valia rolled her face into her pillow and muttered several piquant oaths and gutter words. Qui-Gon heard something about Jedi torture, self-deprivation, self-denial...
"Not a morning person, are you?" he observed lightly.
"Qui-Gon, when I left the farm ten years ago, I left the hours that went with it."
"It's such a shame to watch these things all alone sometimes."
She rolled back to face him and opened one eye. "You're sure it's going to be good?"
"Trust me."
She slid her arms around him. Oh, my. She sighed dreamily. He was incredibly warm, as though his body were the vessel for a living fire. She snuggled against him, her cheek against his collarbone. The steady beat of his big heart was going to lull her back to sleep again. But she knew he would persist in waking her up.
"Oh, all right. For you." She raised her arms over her head and stretched sensually, a languid motion that included every finger and every toe. Her body arched against his.
The speed of their mutual arousal shocked them both. Valia saw the surprise and then the passion flicker in his eyes. They shone in the barely-there predawn light.
"Good morning," he said again, but with an altogether different tone of voice.
"Oh yeah..." she breathed.
They surrendered to each other for the fourth time. Valia was beginning to get sore, but there was no getting enough of him. They made love slowly and with aching sweetness this time, the last time for a while. This time she strongly felt his want, his need for her. He hesitantly asked her to say it again, tell him she loved him. She did. Over and over. And she showed him. Because he sounded like he felt this was so much to ask of her. Because he asked almost nothing for himself. She held him to her fiercely as moisture gathered in the corners of her eyes. She blinked it away and swallowed the tight ache in her throat as she pressed her cheek against his. She lay weakly, wrung out from her climax. "Jinn..." she barely whispered. The softer, easier of his names just slipped from her as an endearment.
The sky was barely beginning to lighten as they quickly dressed and left her apartment. They walked to a nearby east-facing court on the edge of a spectacular drop-off. They sat together on the edge of a stone terrace. The rain had ended, leaving the air fresh and cool. Valia huddled under her cloak and part of his, trying to get warm. She tried to remember the last time she'd been out and about at this hour. She'd given up the parties and club hopping until dawn several years ago.
While they waited for the sunrise, they talked about nothing and everything. Qui-Gon told her more about his relationship with Xanatos, his second apprentice. Valia finished her story about her miscarriage at the age of sixteen, and the ineptitude of the medical facilities that had cost her a functioning uterus and a great deal of her self-esteem for years.
"By the time the medic droid put everything back together in there, no one was sure what was left. As if accidental pregnancy, miscarrying, emergency butchering by inadequately programmed droids wasn't bad enough, then I had to live with my father's total rejection for the next three years. I got off Nyme' as soon as I could." She idly scuffed a boot toe in a crack between the stone-crete pavers. "I sometimes think he was just as disappointed that it wasn't a distant cousin or family member I'd gotten pregnant by." One of his potential husband selections for her.
"One day you really should think about making your peace with him," Qui-Gon said after a pause.
"I suppose. I know, I'll never really heal inside if I don't." Valia waved a hand dismissively. She'd heard this before.
"Of course, all that will only happen after you make peace with yourself over it."
"I..." Valia started to insist that she had, then stopped, thinking. Well, she had. Hadn't she? In any case she didn't want to spend her last few minutes with Qui-Gon arguing. She glanced at him, her eyes promising a rousing debate over the subject at a later time. Qui-Gon pulled her close and gestured to the horizon where color was beginning to bloom. They watched the clouds pick up delicate paintbrush strokes of scarlet, pink and gold. Coruscant's star peeked above the far buildings and splashed orange light across the shiny building surfaces.
Valia sighed as the light finally fell across her face. It had been far too long since she'd seen a sunrise.
"You were right. It is a good one. It's beautiful."
Qui-Gon gave her a smile with more than a trace of 'I told you so' in it.
It was past time for him to go. Valia stood on the terrace edge to hug him. She sternly told herself she would not give in to tears even as her eyes started to sting. The heavy weepiness that had begun in her earlier welled up in her again. She hadn't felt like crying this much in years. She turned her head away to try to control herself. When he drew back to look at her questioningly, she pinched her eyes shut.
"I was going to wait until you were gone to do this." The last thing he needed was some blasted fool weeping female. "Damn it," she muttered squeakily.
"Oh now, don't be too hard on yourself."
Valia opened her eyes to look at him. Was that moisture in the corners of his eyes?
She pushed at him. "You'd better go." He didn't move. Instead he enveloped her in another hug. She knew it sounded ridiculous, but she said it anyway. "I can't live without touching you."
"Yes, you can. You will. You must. We both must," he said into her hair. He drew back and made her look at him. "Do you think this is all I'm made of?"
When she didn't answer, he nudged her suggestively with his pelvis. "Hmm?"
She laughed and sniffed. Of course he was so much more than the physical body standing before her. As was she.
"Well no, but I...I've come to love that part of you."
"Oh, how well I know..." Already he was hoarding away memories of loving her to store in a far corner of his mind where they would be treasured, and not distractions.
"You have my heart," he told her, caressing her face with the backs of his fingers. "Even if I'm not here, I'll still be with you. And you with me."
Valia remembered thinking at one time how sappy the concept of seeing forever in someone's eyes sounded. Until now. She saw it. She actually saw a glimpse of eternity in his blue eyes. The ache in her throat dissolved away and peace came over her.
"Be well, my love. I'll see you soon." He slowly backed away from her, sliding free of her hands. With a last look at her over his shoulder, he walked away.