Chapter 78

What Women Want

"Catherine, what do women want?"

The question came out suddenly without much thought while Gil and Catherine were on their way to a crime scene three nights later. The question seemed to catch Catherine off guard, for she turned and looked at him strangely.

"Huh?"

"What do women want?"

"I don't know what you mean by that question," Catherine announced, she let her arm rest on the passenger side door, elbow ever so slightly protruding out of the open window.

"I don't know how to put the question any clearer," Gil slowed to a halt at a stoplight. "Men have been asking themselves the question for centuries and never found the perfect solution. Stands to reason only a woman would know the answer."

"And you think I know the answer?" Catherine said with a smirk.

"You're a woman, aren't you?"

"It's so nice of you to notice," Catherine teased, "so…what do women want…" she paused, leaning back in her seat. "Romantically?"

"Works for me," Gil tapped his hands on the wheel impatiently, waiting for the lights to change.

"Romance, adventure, excitement, amazing sex…" Catherine listed off, "a guy who's honest, sweet, romantic, unselfish and committed, a guy who adores her, but not to the extent he's stalkerish. A guy who isn't a complet"

"What about marriage, kids…big house in the suburbs?" Gil asked with a sigh.

"Is this about Sara turning you down?"

Gil sighed, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Sure you do…you wouldn't have brought it up otherwise," Catherine straightened a little, she tucked her hair behind her ears, "you still don't know why she turned you down?"

"I know…but I don't, if that makes sense," Gil replied, trying to make sense of it himself at the moment was particularly hard, he didn't expect Catherine to understand at all.

"I don't understand."

The lights changed, and soon the car was moving again, "My whole family…they've been talking about me behind my back for years. You know how people can be. 'Gil the outsider', 'Gil the weirdo', 'Gil who has no time for anything but work'."

"Couldn't you have just ignored them?" Catherine queried.

"I used to. I used to be able to ignore them pretty well. It was always pretty much in one ear and out of the other…" Gil began, "weird thing is though, that at my mothers funeral…everything was different somehow."

"Oh?" Catherine asked.

"I couldn't tune out. It's like every whisper was magnified, and I heard every single word. Some of those words bothered me…bothered me in ways they just never would have before."

"What words?"

"Supposedly…my mother had been telling other family members how she wanted me to settle down…raise a family…you know…" he explained.

"What every mother wants for her child," Catherine responded.

"Yeah…and I don't know, I think it just…got to me. Before I knew it I was at a jewelers and I'd bought a ring, next thing I know I'm on the plane and I'm proposing to Sara very unromantically and very inarticulately."

Catherine's eyes widened just a little, "which isn't you."

"Exactly…I plan everything out, I just can't believe I did it myself, but what I can't believe is that Sara turned me down…"

Catherine nodded, just to indicate she was still listening.

"It was a disaster."

"True love never runs smooth," Catherine commented.

Gil kept prattling on almost nervously, "she knew about my family, the things they were saying…but…even then…marriage was just something I'd thought she'd wanted. Before everything went pear-shaped we were talking about futures and it just never occurred to me that she wasn't looking that far ahead…"

Catherine gave a chuckle, "a lot of women have the wedding already planned out in their head midway through the first date. But Sara…she's never struck me as that type, don't know why she would have struck you as."

"I don't think it occurred to me…Sara thinks I was trying to overcompensate."

"For what your family were saying?"

Gil gave a firm nod.

"She's probably right. I mean, god knows, nothing else in your life has ever made you impulsive enough to go out and buy an engagement ring and propose on a plane," Catherine mused. "Grief can do strange things to a person. And I should know…" she stared off into space for a moment.

Gil sighed, "I know…but…the more time I spend thinking about it the less I think my family…or grief…had anything to do with the proposal whatsoever…and the more I try to put any kind of logic on it, the more confused I get."

"It's hard to put logic on matters of the heart, Grissom. There's no science to love that you can dissect and study under a microscope."

"I know. Drives me nuts. You spend all your time thinking there's an answer to everything, but you try to analyze emotions and end up at a dead end."

"If it were all that easy none of us would make so many mistakes over love," Catherine pointed out.

Gil parked the car in a small parking lot near the crime scene, he sighed, "what if I'm – for lack of a better word – unmarriable?"

Catherine chuckled, "are you serious?"

"Yeah," he climbed out and moved to the trunk to pull his field kit out, Catherine followed him. "I mean…I keep odd hours, I've never had any other steady relationships in my life. I'm not good with people – I'm not even good with my own girlfriend…" he explained. "I have the stench of death follow me most of the time, I touch the most disturbing cadavers…these are not the qualities of 'good husband material', really, are they?" he sighed.

"Hey, you're weird, but you're still a man. Any man is capable of being 'marriable'," Catherine decided, "look at Eddie, would you have said he was good husband material?"

"Definitely not," Gil replied after a moment of reflection, he unlocked the trunk of his car and took out the field kit and his LVPD vest.

"I still married him anyway," Catherine added.

"And then you filed for divorce," Gil pointed out a little sourly, "for all I know that could happen to me."

"Unless you intended to jump into bed with another woman, I doubt it would," Catherine replied.

"Anyway, this is all pretty much a moot point since I'm not getting married any time soon," Gil closed the trunk.

"Love can be a pain in the ass, can't it?" Catherine zipped up her own vest and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Speaking of love…did you ever ask Nick if he was your secret admirer?" Gil queried, feeling a change of subject might be in order.

"I asked, and he just looked at me blankly then laughed and walked away. He didn't say yes, and he didn't say no…" Catherine shrugged.

Gil looked at her, "I still can't believe you haven't figured it out, yet."

"It's not that simple, there's a few guys from work who've asked me out…a few people I work closely with who it could be…" Catherine explained. "This would be all so much simpler if you'd just tell me who in the hell he is instead of being so damn cryptic as usual."

"It's not my place to tell you – or show you – who he is. It's something he has to do himself," Gil answered. "This isn't high school, I'm not going to be the go-between you and this guy with the 'she likes you' and 'he likes you' messages," Gil grinned.

Catherine sighed, "will I EVER know who this guy is?"

Gil stopped for a moment, "okay, listen…how about I set something up?" he asked of her. He was growing

"Huh?"

"So you can find out?"

"You'd do that?"

"Yes," Gil answered.

"How?"

"I think I can convince him to meet you for dinner…" Gil admitted with a whimsical smile.

"Wait…what if it's awkward, just me and this guy?" she asked, her expression suddenly full of concern.

"You never struck me as the type of woman who would find things awkward, Catherine. It's not exactly a blind date. You know this guy pretty well…" Gil explained with a soft laugh.

"It's not you, is it?" Catherine teased.

"Definitely not…" Gil crossed his heart with his left index finger.

Catherine pondered for a moment, "if this is someone I know pretty well…then there's a chance it will be awkward, because…you know…romancing someone who you work with…" she trailed off. "It can cause problems."

"Hey, works for me and Sara."

"Not all of the time," Catherine pointed out. "I used to think dating someone in the work place was okay until you and Sara started doing it…"

"Why do I get the feeling when you say 'doing it' you're not referring to dating?" Gil asked with a raised eyebrow.

Catherine ignored this comment, "What if this guy shows up, and it's the least person in the world I'd expect…" she trailed off.

"You think you'd go into a state of shock?" Gil asked, he seriously doubted this, Catherine was rarely ever shocked, and rarely ever found herself speechless.

"Possibly. Or possibly I just don't want to end up sitting at a table alone with a guy who possibly I can't stand – and there's a chance of that, isn't there?" Catherine pointed out. "God, I mean I could end up arriving and sitting at a table opposite Hodges – do you know how much of a living nightmare that would be?"

Gil smirked, he decided not to tell her that her secret admirer definitely wasn't Hodges, he was quite amused she might even think of that and felt it might be funny to let her think it was for a little while longer. "Okay, how about we double date…?"

"You and Sara and me and secret admirer man?" Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"It might be less awkward – like you said, you don't want to end up sitting alone with a guy you possibly can't stand. I don't think that'll happen, but, if something doesn't feel right, and it does feel awkward and neither of you can speak to each other, at least me and Sara will be there to keep conversation going. Besides, me and Sara haven't been out together in a while – it might be fun."

Catherine paused, "okay. Deal."

Yes, it's blah, but at least I'm acknowledging some of the "yo!bling" people have been complaining about me ignoring so there ya go :P

Thanks to the following people for reviewing :)

leddy, Solaris-Snape, msgrits, CSIfreak92, psychotic chaos, anonymous, csibugman, NimrodDuckie, kristy87, Mystical Panther, lilegyptiangoddess, gsr fan 817, CSICubsFan, Aidrianna, Sarah Bishop, csishewolf, jbr12476, sarah makinson, alias101, Hope.

I think that might be everyone, god knows, it's getting harder for me to keep track for some reason.

I know this chapter was late, I've had some illness 'cause of my insomnia and I've had some family stuff to take care of, but anyway, I finally got around to updating :)

SS