A/N: just for the sake of the plot Francis never met Piana (his wife)

A/N2: as this is my first attempt at a Malcolm in the middle fic, and although my knowledge of the series is quite good (I've seen every episode so far!) I have no idea where their house is situated! If anyone knows please tell me.

A/N3: I don't think this type of fic has ever been done before, so please give it a go and all types of reviews are welcome, be it flames or praise, I want to hear whatever you've got to say!

Warnings: FrancisOMC romance of the slash kind! That means this is slash, so if you don't like, don't read. AU.

Disclaimer: I only own Robert, and the plot, absolutely nothing else is mine! (If it were, I'd be filming about twenty episodes a day!)

Summery: Francis only found out recently that he's gay and he knows it, but the rest of the family doesn't. What happens when in Francis' next time home to a family reunion, he brings someone else? Not just anyone either, a boyfriend! Would the family accept them and their relationship, or would hell be let loose in the form of a rampaging Lois? …… Might the fact that his new boyfriend grew up in Bel Air, and is a multimillionaire change anything? Humour would most defiantly rule the roost in this!

Note: this whole fic is seen in Francis' P.O.V.

Chapter one: To call or not to call!

I sat at the kitchen table, staring at the phone hanging at the wall, its whole presence almost mocking me. I promised Lois, my mom that I would ring to organise a 'family get together'. Generally everyone in my family would be there, every controlling, stubborn relative.

Joy of all joys.

I can honestly say that my mother terrified me, and I mean terrified. I don't know how to break the news to her about my ……revelation, or so Rob calls it seeing as he will be the 'revelation'. Rob's my boyfriend, in case you didn't know, and we've been together for three months now, three heavenly, Lois-free months. Well of course that all going to change after this family gathering.

I suppose the whole irony of me meeting Rob was the fact that I was crusing for babes, not dudes, but I thought that Rob was a girl, because at the time he had longish hair. I was also drunk, which might have helped a bit. Well anyway, we both got rather 'knocked up', shagged like bunnies in heat, and woke up to find ourselves in another man's arms!

Now the strangest thing about all that; was the fact that I actually felt something towards him afterwards, which is unusual for me. He also confessed to some feeling towards me, which, to my surprise, filled me with some foreign feeling. Love? I laughed at first at the notion, but realised that I had never felt so strongly about a girl as I was with him. So we agreed not to talk about it, and we came … mutual friends. Until, of course, when we went to a friend's twenty-first, where we got drunk again, and woke up the next morning with a lot of stickiness. If you get my meaning.

So we tried to take it slow again, but somewhere in that we finally confessed out feelings for each other. So we decided to go out, in a manner of speaking.

Whenever I imagine my mom's reaction, my assumptions always seem to get gradually worse! Like they always do. But I decided I have to call; otherwise she would find a way to contact me, on the other side of the country! When I was younger I honestly thought she was some sort of seceret agent, because she always managed to discover everything in my life, now I realised that I just never hid anything properly.

And then I have to think of the consequences if she dose find me. She'll probably drag me first back to the house, then she would disembowel me. Nice mother, don't you think?

"Are you going to stare at the phone all day?" it was Rob, who had apparently only just woken up, seeing as he was in his pyjamas. With no shirt I might add!

"Yes, if Lois is going to be on the other side" I said. Visually shuddering. Lois really frightens me, heck, she even frightens my dad!

"Aw, she can't be that bad!" Rob protested. Because his parents are out almost all the time, he seems to think everyone else has wonderful loving parents.

"Bad is an understatement" I muttered. Rob laughed at me. I shook my head and looked at my boyfriend. My gorgeous boyfriend at that. His mother is Italian so he has the whole Italian look to him. Dark eyes, tanned skin and dark curly hair. He was just under a year younger than me, about twenty. He was also slightly smaller than me. Although he is really polite and generous, as was expected of him. You see, he grew up in Bel Air. His father is the owner and manager of a multimillion-dollar computer firm and his mother is a famous fashion designer. I almost fainted when I found out exactly how rich my boyfriend actually was. I mean, he did mention that his dad worked with computers, but I assumed it was something like what my dad dose. But when he brought me to his house, no mansion, I was slightly … impressed. So to speak!

At first I was quite embarrassed at first, seeing as my house would have fitted in their kitchen, but when I met his parents, they seemed really nice and didn't act snobbish or posh as I was expecting. This was the kind of living you read in magazines but never expect to witness or experience first hand. Dewy would have loved to live here!

Rob also had no siblings, unlike me with my four younger brothers. (A/N: Jamie is about a year old in this) Rob also attended one of the most expensive private schools in the country, and went to Europe to study for university. Me, being really rubbish at school, was not surprised to find that he was really smart, but not in a geeky sort of way, and he was fluent in many languages, especially the languages of Europe. He would be handy if you went on an all around the world trip. He was also never a troublemaker; in fact he even confessed that he was quite a nerd back in school. I found that hard to believe, but looking back at his school photos, I had to agree with him. Let's just say he had a bit of a spot problem!

Although now, he models for major companies and magazines, and sometimes dose fashion shows. Why he dose it is beyond me. He already has all the money he'd ever want!

I was the complete opposite. I was reckless, cheeky and a serious troublemaker! You would never find me studying or sitting in the library with my nose in a book. And I got into quite a lot of fights as well, and I had my share of detentions and trips to the principles' office. Rob's mother found our differences really funny, but she said that we seemed perfect for each other. His parents had absolutely no problem with the fact that their only child was gay. They only care about his well being. Which also answers for why Rob's father questioned me thoroughly before I met his approval.

Imagining my own family's reaction, I decided that Hal, my dad, would try to accept it, but would probably always end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or think that some stuff that I like, such as beating up people, would not appeal to me because I'm gay. Lois, well, she's Lois ………. She'll probably accept me or disown me. Not very much choices there, because things will still be a bit tense even if she dose accept, I only hoped that Rob could win her over with his dazzling smile.

Reese would probably think it's weird, but wouldn't be fazed about it if I still prove that I'm still the same Francis he'll accept it. Malcolm, I think he'd be the same as Reese, only I reckon that he'll get along really well with Rob, because Rob was in a special class as well. He could discuss things with Rob that he wouldn't be able to discuss with the rest of our family. Once dewy finds out that Rob's rich, he'll want a motorbike or a plane or something. And Jamie can't talk.

Rob would probably try his best to be accepted into my family. Because his parents are usually out on a business trip or just for a holiday, rob doesn't really see much of any parent figure other than his maid or Bodyguard. Lois would probably be thrilled to do things she wouldn't really be able to do with her own children. Rob likes to cook and stuff so they'll share similar interests. My mom always wanted a girl and the closest thing she's going to get is Rob!

I knew that he got lonely with his parents gone all the time, but he always joked that he could run around the house in his underwear, playing rock songs all through the house, while playing air guitar! I wouldn't put it pat him either! I bet the maids would get a shock though to see their master run around singing!

At the moment neither of Rob's parents is home, so that was when I decided to plan the trip. Which still leads to my dilemma.

To ring or not to ring?

"Sooo… Are you ringing or not?" asked Rob holding the phone to me. I smiled at the childish expression on his face.

"I suppose I should," I said, taking the phone off him. Rob then sat down on the floor in front of me watching me intently. I dialled the numbers and waited. After two rings Malcolm picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi Malcolm, it's Francis, is mom home?" I asked.

"No, she's out to the shop to get some soap or something, Dewy got his head stuck between the banisters again, so she's out."

I laughed and shook my head.

"Will she be back soon?" I asked.

"Probably, but I'm not going to be around when she dose, it'll be like a grizzly bear woken up by poking it in the eye, so I'm going to Steevies till she calms down"

"Good idea, tell her that I called and that I'll be here within the week, oh, and tell her that I'm bringing a … friend"

"A girlfriend?" he asked mockingly. I smiled at the irony of his words.

"Something like that" I answered. I don't want to admit my sexuality over the phone.

"Whatever, I'll tell her"

"Thanks" I said relieved that the dreaded call was over.

"Bye"

"Bye".

I hung up the phone. I grinned at what madness was happening in the house right about now.

"What are you grinning at?" Rob asked me.

"Nothing, just my little brother got stuck between the banisters of the stairs!"

"I can't wait to meet your family!" he declared standing up. And, kissing me briefly, ran upstairs throwing an 'I'm going to pack' at me.

"I can," I muttered watching him run upstairs.

So what do you think, loved it hated it? Please tell me, oh and even flames are welcome!

And to all those out there who think this is sick, I just want to say that, I didn't force you to read this!