Weeeeee!! Here we go again!! Broop! Mwahahaha I am on a sugar high! Weeee!!
*spins in computer chair* Let's go! *booty dance*
One more thing. The bestest part of the movie is when Johnny Depp says this to Orlando:
"She's all safe like I promised, she's all set to marry the commodore like she promised, and you're all set to die for her like you promised. So we are all actually men of our word...except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I woke up I was back in my bedroom. Again. There were several elves standing around, and one had been leaning over me. I looked up and saw that it was Elrond. Oh joy.
Just at that moment someone walked into the room. I saw a glimpse of blonde hair, and then my all was at my bedside. He *did* care!
He asked me, "Lothuviel, how are you feeling?"
So I said, "Hhhnnnnnggggghh," which translates to "Like crap, duh."
Legolas smiled. "At least you are awake. Now I must apologize to you."
"Why?" I asked. Because you love me? Well, I already knew that...
He looked ashamed. "I put your life in danger. It was foolish of me."
Awww, how sweet! "I thank thee for your kindness, Legolas, but the apology was not needed. It was my own stupidity that made me fall off of my horse. It was no fault of yours."
He smiled and patted my hand. Ahhh. "I shall leave you now. You must rest."
I frowned, but nodded and snuggled down under the sheets.
Nothing major really happened over the next couple of days. Legolas and Trelan came to see me often (the dears), and Fiwen took care of me. I, of course, was confined to my bed. Thank God (or gods) I was allowed to get out of there soon.
I was sitting in my room one night and scheming. I *had* to win my lover elf over.
But how?
I thought and thought until my poor little brain ached. But then a (very dim) lightbulb appeared over my head and I grinned evilly. Think of the Grinch.
I had to have...
DUNDUNDUN!!!
A... oh crap what were they called? Some kind of fish or something... like Red Herring. Yes, we'll call it a Red Herring.
It was a perfect plan! Simply get another elf dude to drool over me to make Legolas jealous! What could possibly go wrong!?
So now I needed to find my RH. And I had just the guy. Mwahahahahaa.
~*~*~*~*~
"Greetings, friend Trelan," I called quietly as I walked into the library. My RH-to-be looked up from the parchment he was writing on and smiled. "Good day, my lady. It is good to see that you are feeling better."
"Yes, thanks to the healing skills of Lord Elrond I am as good as new," I said as I sat down next to him. "I have a question for you, if you would not mind answering it."
"Anything, Lothuviel."
"Tonight is the big summer feast, obviously, and I was wondering if I might speak to you in private."
"Of course. When would you like to talk?"
"Meet me by the fountain in the garden right after dinner," I murmured, not wanting the other elves to overhear and ruin my perfect plan.
"Very well," he said with a smile. "I shall do so."
"Eeeexcellent," I said out loud. Trelan stared at me and blinked. "Er, I mean, thank you." I got up and walked towards the door, feeling like the idiot that I am.
"Lothuviel?"
"Yes?"
He stood up and walked over. "Will you allow me to escort you to the feast tonight? I would be honored if you would."
I grinned. I am a boy magnet. "I would love that," I said. He was so nice. I walked out the door, my mood much lighter.
When I reached my bedroom, it was 3:00 in the afternoon according to my watch. *gasp* Only four hours to get ready!
I skipped into the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water and tons of bubble bath. I hopped in, singing "Hot in Herre" by Nelly. Oh, how I missed modern-day music.
"But no," I said out loud. "I must focus on my evil plan." I poured some shampoo into my hand and scrubbed it into my hair, cackling evilly.
A few minutes later I jumped back out of the bath and made my way towards the vanity. So much primping stuff! But the Elves of Rivendell lack the knowledge of one wonderful thing: a little invention called the razor. I dug through all the drawers, searching for one. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Sheesh. Not a single one. Other 15-year-old girls will realize how incredibly pooey this makes your day if you need to shave. Although now I was about 1500. But that's not the point. Now I had to resort to something else. Pain.
I lifted the jar of leg wax out of the drawer like it was some sort of toxin. Of course they have leg wax, you silly! Elf women can't walk around with hairy legs!
To make a long story short, I ended up with teary eyes and pink (but hairless) legs.
Now time to get dressed. I had to pick the most revealing garment possible. That would catch some attention. I limped/waddled to the closet on account of my legs, and made my way towards the red dresses. The one I chose was a rich reddish-burgendy color, sort of like red wine. It was VERY low cut and fairly tight. The skirt flared out a bit at the bottom, enough so that I could have easily hidden a bazooka or two under it if need be. Two words could sum it up.
Incredibly sexy.
I slipped on some matching shoes then went to admire myself in the mirror. My jaw dropped. After I managed to pick it up off the ground, I said, "Ohmygawd. I look like a hooker!" and ran back to the closet. No way was I going to the dance looking like that. I walked down the rows of dresses, and decided to go with a beautiful sky blue one. It was appropriate, yet still begging for attention. After I put on some matching silver jewelry, sparkly silver shoes and makeup, I went back to the vanity from hell to do my hair. A wave here and there, and then I was almost finished. The final touch was a thin silver circlet I had found in a jewelry box. I went to the mirror and grinned. I looked lovelay!
I squealed and twirled around, loving the way the skirt went POOF. I practically floated to the door and opened it, only to find Trelan standing there with his hand raised, about to knock. I smiled as his eyebrows went up and he looked me over. Teeeheee.
"You look exceptionally beautiful tonight, mellon nin," he said, kissing my hand. I admire honesty.
"And you look wonderfully handsome, Trelan," I commented. he really did. His tunic was a forest green color and his leggings were a nice deeper shade of green. His hair was braided like Legolas' always was. Elves are very stylish people, you know.
Trelan smiled and offered out arm, which I took hold of. Operation Snitch An Elf had commenced.
"I am pleased that I could escort you to the feast, Lothuviel," Trelan said as we made our way down a flight of stairs. "It isn't every day that I have the most beautiful elf in Rivendell on my arm."
Good lord.
I smiled uneasily and said, "Heh heh... erm... yes. Thank you. I am honored to have such a handsome man escorting me..." What was I saying?
When we reached the entrance to the Hall of Fire (the really, really, REALLY big place, if you forgot), Legolas was waiting. My heart skipped a beat. Was he waiting for little old me? I hadn't seen him at all that day, and my level of hotty elfishness had gone way down. He was wearing that incredibly hot silvery blue tunic that he wore in Lothlorien in the movie. I think I might have drooled.
When he saw me, instead of giving me a small smile like he usually did, he beamed. "Well, I am thrilled to see you are feeling well tonight, Lothuviel," he said in a genuinely happy voice. "You look beautiful." Oh GODDDDDD!!!!
"Yes. As I told Trelan earlier today, I am glad to be up and about," I managed to say without slurring. If my Legolas is happy, then I'm happy.
Legolas looked from me to Trelan. They exchanged a smile. I could have imagined it (I hope to God I didn't), but I think my sylvan prince may have winked at my RH. As Trelan led me through the door, I... erm... "accidentally" brushed my arm against Legolas. Hint hint, lover boy.
Over all, the feast went beautifully. Lots of really cute elves asked me to dance, and of course I couldn't refuse. Although my feet hurt quite a bit afterwards. I think I may have gotten slightly drunk, too. Not that anyone noticed. They were as drunk as... really drunk elves compared to me. I couldn't help but notice that Legolas consumed a fair amount of the elvish wine. Oh great. My future husband was practically a drunk.
I decided that maybe a dance would make him feel better. So I sidled (okay, okay, stumbled) over to him. Before my very eyes he became instantly sober. Instead of shouting "Hey sexy!" as I had hoped, he simply said, "Hello Lothuviel. Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am. But would be even more pleased if you would dance with me." Oh please, oh please, oh PLEASE!!!
"I would be honored," my prince said with a bow. He took my hand (yay!) and led me onto the dance floor. I thought I would faint when he put his hand on my waist. After ten seconds of sheer bliss, I remembered that I was supposed to put my hand on his shoulder. I had never been good at ballroom dancing, but I guess my elvish grace helped me. I managed not to step on his feet at all.
"You are a very good dancer, Lothuviel," he told me as the music ended. I was about to cry when he let go of my waist. He kissed my hand for no apparent reason (not that I'm complaining) and we walked back to where Trelan was waiting. The *he* wanted to dance, too. Sheesh. But how could I refuse someone who called me the most beautiful elf in Rivendell? I couldn't. So I walked right back out there and danced some more.
"I hope you have not forgotten our meeting," I said quietly as we danced.
"I have not. I have promised one maiden a dance, but after that I shall meet you down by the fountain," he told me.
"Very well. I shall see you then," I said as the music ended.
He smiled and I walked out the door, pleased that my plan was going so well.
Once I reached the fountain I decided my poor feet needed a break. So I sat down on the ledge and looked into the water. There were some cute little minnows swimming about in it. "Hello, little fishies," I said, sticking the tip of my finger into the water. I trailed my finger along, spelling out a certain name that starts with L and ends with egolas.
Just then Trelan came down the path. He smiled when he saw me waiting. "Hello again," I said, and beckoned for him to sit down next to me.
"Now, what did you wish to speak with me about?"
I sighed and started my little speech that I had been practicing. "Trelan, you are a good friend of mine. I would trust you with my deepest secret."
"I don't understand."
I hesitated, then told him. "I am in love with Legolas," I muttered.
He looked at me, then laughed quietly. "I knew it."
"What!?"
"It is quite obvious that you are attracted to him, Lothuviel. You stare at him when he walks by, and you seem entranced every time he speaks."
"Oh gods..." I put my face in my hands.
Trelan patted my shoulder. "It is well, though. Legolas is completely oblivious to the fact that you are in love with him."
"Oh... well then you can help me," I said, perking up.
"In what way?" he asked. I told him about my RH plan, and how I needed his help. He grinned. "I do not see why that would not work. Very well, I shall help you."
"Oooh, thank you Trelan!" I squealed, and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. "Er... sorry."
He smiled and stood up. "Is that all?"
"Yes. Thank you again." I took his hand that he had offered to me, and together we walked back into the hall.
One more thing. The bestest part of the movie is when Johnny Depp says this to Orlando:
"She's all safe like I promised, she's all set to marry the commodore like she promised, and you're all set to die for her like you promised. So we are all actually men of our word...except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I woke up I was back in my bedroom. Again. There were several elves standing around, and one had been leaning over me. I looked up and saw that it was Elrond. Oh joy.
Just at that moment someone walked into the room. I saw a glimpse of blonde hair, and then my all was at my bedside. He *did* care!
He asked me, "Lothuviel, how are you feeling?"
So I said, "Hhhnnnnnggggghh," which translates to "Like crap, duh."
Legolas smiled. "At least you are awake. Now I must apologize to you."
"Why?" I asked. Because you love me? Well, I already knew that...
He looked ashamed. "I put your life in danger. It was foolish of me."
Awww, how sweet! "I thank thee for your kindness, Legolas, but the apology was not needed. It was my own stupidity that made me fall off of my horse. It was no fault of yours."
He smiled and patted my hand. Ahhh. "I shall leave you now. You must rest."
I frowned, but nodded and snuggled down under the sheets.
Nothing major really happened over the next couple of days. Legolas and Trelan came to see me often (the dears), and Fiwen took care of me. I, of course, was confined to my bed. Thank God (or gods) I was allowed to get out of there soon.
I was sitting in my room one night and scheming. I *had* to win my lover elf over.
But how?
I thought and thought until my poor little brain ached. But then a (very dim) lightbulb appeared over my head and I grinned evilly. Think of the Grinch.
I had to have...
DUNDUNDUN!!!
A... oh crap what were they called? Some kind of fish or something... like Red Herring. Yes, we'll call it a Red Herring.
It was a perfect plan! Simply get another elf dude to drool over me to make Legolas jealous! What could possibly go wrong!?
So now I needed to find my RH. And I had just the guy. Mwahahahahaa.
~*~*~*~*~
"Greetings, friend Trelan," I called quietly as I walked into the library. My RH-to-be looked up from the parchment he was writing on and smiled. "Good day, my lady. It is good to see that you are feeling better."
"Yes, thanks to the healing skills of Lord Elrond I am as good as new," I said as I sat down next to him. "I have a question for you, if you would not mind answering it."
"Anything, Lothuviel."
"Tonight is the big summer feast, obviously, and I was wondering if I might speak to you in private."
"Of course. When would you like to talk?"
"Meet me by the fountain in the garden right after dinner," I murmured, not wanting the other elves to overhear and ruin my perfect plan.
"Very well," he said with a smile. "I shall do so."
"Eeeexcellent," I said out loud. Trelan stared at me and blinked. "Er, I mean, thank you." I got up and walked towards the door, feeling like the idiot that I am.
"Lothuviel?"
"Yes?"
He stood up and walked over. "Will you allow me to escort you to the feast tonight? I would be honored if you would."
I grinned. I am a boy magnet. "I would love that," I said. He was so nice. I walked out the door, my mood much lighter.
When I reached my bedroom, it was 3:00 in the afternoon according to my watch. *gasp* Only four hours to get ready!
I skipped into the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water and tons of bubble bath. I hopped in, singing "Hot in Herre" by Nelly. Oh, how I missed modern-day music.
"But no," I said out loud. "I must focus on my evil plan." I poured some shampoo into my hand and scrubbed it into my hair, cackling evilly.
A few minutes later I jumped back out of the bath and made my way towards the vanity. So much primping stuff! But the Elves of Rivendell lack the knowledge of one wonderful thing: a little invention called the razor. I dug through all the drawers, searching for one. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Sheesh. Not a single one. Other 15-year-old girls will realize how incredibly pooey this makes your day if you need to shave. Although now I was about 1500. But that's not the point. Now I had to resort to something else. Pain.
I lifted the jar of leg wax out of the drawer like it was some sort of toxin. Of course they have leg wax, you silly! Elf women can't walk around with hairy legs!
To make a long story short, I ended up with teary eyes and pink (but hairless) legs.
Now time to get dressed. I had to pick the most revealing garment possible. That would catch some attention. I limped/waddled to the closet on account of my legs, and made my way towards the red dresses. The one I chose was a rich reddish-burgendy color, sort of like red wine. It was VERY low cut and fairly tight. The skirt flared out a bit at the bottom, enough so that I could have easily hidden a bazooka or two under it if need be. Two words could sum it up.
Incredibly sexy.
I slipped on some matching shoes then went to admire myself in the mirror. My jaw dropped. After I managed to pick it up off the ground, I said, "Ohmygawd. I look like a hooker!" and ran back to the closet. No way was I going to the dance looking like that. I walked down the rows of dresses, and decided to go with a beautiful sky blue one. It was appropriate, yet still begging for attention. After I put on some matching silver jewelry, sparkly silver shoes and makeup, I went back to the vanity from hell to do my hair. A wave here and there, and then I was almost finished. The final touch was a thin silver circlet I had found in a jewelry box. I went to the mirror and grinned. I looked lovelay!
I squealed and twirled around, loving the way the skirt went POOF. I practically floated to the door and opened it, only to find Trelan standing there with his hand raised, about to knock. I smiled as his eyebrows went up and he looked me over. Teeeheee.
"You look exceptionally beautiful tonight, mellon nin," he said, kissing my hand. I admire honesty.
"And you look wonderfully handsome, Trelan," I commented. he really did. His tunic was a forest green color and his leggings were a nice deeper shade of green. His hair was braided like Legolas' always was. Elves are very stylish people, you know.
Trelan smiled and offered out arm, which I took hold of. Operation Snitch An Elf had commenced.
"I am pleased that I could escort you to the feast, Lothuviel," Trelan said as we made our way down a flight of stairs. "It isn't every day that I have the most beautiful elf in Rivendell on my arm."
Good lord.
I smiled uneasily and said, "Heh heh... erm... yes. Thank you. I am honored to have such a handsome man escorting me..." What was I saying?
When we reached the entrance to the Hall of Fire (the really, really, REALLY big place, if you forgot), Legolas was waiting. My heart skipped a beat. Was he waiting for little old me? I hadn't seen him at all that day, and my level of hotty elfishness had gone way down. He was wearing that incredibly hot silvery blue tunic that he wore in Lothlorien in the movie. I think I might have drooled.
When he saw me, instead of giving me a small smile like he usually did, he beamed. "Well, I am thrilled to see you are feeling well tonight, Lothuviel," he said in a genuinely happy voice. "You look beautiful." Oh GODDDDDD!!!!
"Yes. As I told Trelan earlier today, I am glad to be up and about," I managed to say without slurring. If my Legolas is happy, then I'm happy.
Legolas looked from me to Trelan. They exchanged a smile. I could have imagined it (I hope to God I didn't), but I think my sylvan prince may have winked at my RH. As Trelan led me through the door, I... erm... "accidentally" brushed my arm against Legolas. Hint hint, lover boy.
Over all, the feast went beautifully. Lots of really cute elves asked me to dance, and of course I couldn't refuse. Although my feet hurt quite a bit afterwards. I think I may have gotten slightly drunk, too. Not that anyone noticed. They were as drunk as... really drunk elves compared to me. I couldn't help but notice that Legolas consumed a fair amount of the elvish wine. Oh great. My future husband was practically a drunk.
I decided that maybe a dance would make him feel better. So I sidled (okay, okay, stumbled) over to him. Before my very eyes he became instantly sober. Instead of shouting "Hey sexy!" as I had hoped, he simply said, "Hello Lothuviel. Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am. But would be even more pleased if you would dance with me." Oh please, oh please, oh PLEASE!!!
"I would be honored," my prince said with a bow. He took my hand (yay!) and led me onto the dance floor. I thought I would faint when he put his hand on my waist. After ten seconds of sheer bliss, I remembered that I was supposed to put my hand on his shoulder. I had never been good at ballroom dancing, but I guess my elvish grace helped me. I managed not to step on his feet at all.
"You are a very good dancer, Lothuviel," he told me as the music ended. I was about to cry when he let go of my waist. He kissed my hand for no apparent reason (not that I'm complaining) and we walked back to where Trelan was waiting. The *he* wanted to dance, too. Sheesh. But how could I refuse someone who called me the most beautiful elf in Rivendell? I couldn't. So I walked right back out there and danced some more.
"I hope you have not forgotten our meeting," I said quietly as we danced.
"I have not. I have promised one maiden a dance, but after that I shall meet you down by the fountain," he told me.
"Very well. I shall see you then," I said as the music ended.
He smiled and I walked out the door, pleased that my plan was going so well.
Once I reached the fountain I decided my poor feet needed a break. So I sat down on the ledge and looked into the water. There were some cute little minnows swimming about in it. "Hello, little fishies," I said, sticking the tip of my finger into the water. I trailed my finger along, spelling out a certain name that starts with L and ends with egolas.
Just then Trelan came down the path. He smiled when he saw me waiting. "Hello again," I said, and beckoned for him to sit down next to me.
"Now, what did you wish to speak with me about?"
I sighed and started my little speech that I had been practicing. "Trelan, you are a good friend of mine. I would trust you with my deepest secret."
"I don't understand."
I hesitated, then told him. "I am in love with Legolas," I muttered.
He looked at me, then laughed quietly. "I knew it."
"What!?"
"It is quite obvious that you are attracted to him, Lothuviel. You stare at him when he walks by, and you seem entranced every time he speaks."
"Oh gods..." I put my face in my hands.
Trelan patted my shoulder. "It is well, though. Legolas is completely oblivious to the fact that you are in love with him."
"Oh... well then you can help me," I said, perking up.
"In what way?" he asked. I told him about my RH plan, and how I needed his help. He grinned. "I do not see why that would not work. Very well, I shall help you."
"Oooh, thank you Trelan!" I squealed, and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. "Er... sorry."
He smiled and stood up. "Is that all?"
"Yes. Thank you again." I took his hand that he had offered to me, and together we walked back into the hall.