Chapter 90

I Still Do

Gil wandered aimlessly in and out of the rooms of Sara's apartment not knowing what to do with himself. The place was messier than usual, and he had a feeling most of this was due to Andrew. An ashtray was full of cigarette butts in the living room, and there was ash on the hardwood floor. Sara was just never this messy. Sure, she left clothes lying around, but that was as messy as she seemed to get – with the exception of one particularly stupid drunken morning. This was different. The milk carton was left out on the counter, a half eaten bowl of cornflakes was on the coffee table, the TV remote was on the floor, as was the TV guide, which had a page falling out.

Gil kept himself busy by cleaning up the apartment while Sara was gone. He swept up the ash from the floor, he emptied the ashtray, and anything that seemed out of place, he put back neatly.

I should be living with her, not her brother, Gil despaired as he entered Sara's bedroom. He made the bed, fluffed the pillows, and tidied the dresser. Being there by the dresser, he suddenly remembered Sara telling him she'd emptied a drawer in her dresser for his clothes once he moved for their alternative living arrangement. He'd never even had the chance to put his clothes in it.

He pulled the bottom drawer open, finding a few rather frayed t-shirts inside. Andrew's t-shirts, he realised. Already seemed she'd made Andrew feel right at home and Gil wondered if Andrew was so at home here would he ever want to leave?

With a grumble of defeat, Gil shut the drawer and headed back to the living room. Now that the place was tidy there was nothing much left to do but wander aimlessly.

After ten more minutes, he was still as restless. He took a seat at Sara's desk, and switched on Sara's laptop, waited for the thing to boot. If he couldn't find anything else to do, he could at least keep himself occupied by playing solitaire or freecell.

He decided to check his email first. Opening up internet explorer seemed to gain him several pornography related popups, which he found surprising since Sara was careful about protection against popups and any other unwanted features the internet had to offer.

Looks like Andrew has been using Sara's computer, Gil realized. He clicked on the 'history' icon on the icon display at the top of the screen and checked the last few days activity. Several pornography website addresses were listed in the history, Gil went through a few of them to see what kind of graphic material had been viewed on the computer.

Look at this stuff…Big Naturals, Sapphire Erotica, Barely 18 and Legal…This stuff definitely isn't Sara's kind of thing – not unless she's become so repulsed by seeing me naked that she's decided to go a completely other direction sexually, Gil mused as he shut down internet explorer. He decided against checking his hotmail account for now. He went through the main start menu until he found the games and opened up solitaire.

Five games later – one of which he actually won – he wasn't feeling any less restless. He found it hard to concentrate on the game. All he could think about was what Sara would say when she finally found her brother. Is she still going to be mad at me? Gil wondered.

He heard the apartment door open and he jumped to his feet, automatically thinking it would be Sara standing there, only he found himself staring at Andrew's crazed green eyes.

Andrew looked as if he'd been hit more times than Greg had. His lip and nose were bloody – the blood new dried and formed a cracked pattern across Andrew's pale skin. It looked like tomorrow Andrew was going to have one hell of a shiner. There was a cut on the side of his head that Gil decided might have come from his attackers ring.

"What are you doing here?" Andrew croaked at once, staring at Gil with a furious burning gaze.

"Sara asked me to sit here and wait in case you showed up…she's out looking for you…." Gil began, and found himself stammering through some of the words.

"She trusts you alone in her apartment?" Andrew snorted, "she must be sleeping with you. I always knew there had to be something going on. She hadn't talked about you all week, and that isn't like her. The way you acted when you came to see her last week said everything…"

Gil frowned a little, he didn't fear Andrew, but there was something about the guy that did make him distinctly nervous. He tried to force his focus off the insinuation Andrew had made. Okay, so, he was sleeping with Sara. But it was more than that, and Sara apparently hadn't even explained any of it to her brother. Gil didn't understand why, but he wasn't about to go into it now when it was obvious the guy seemed to need some medical attention.

"Are you alright? Where've you been? Hey, you're bleeding…we can fix that, Sara has a medical kit somewhere in the kitchen…"

"I'm fine, I don't need you fussing…" Andrew frowned. "If you weren't fucking my sister, you wouldn't even give a shit so spare me the concern. Just get out."

"Uh, let me call Sara and let me know you've turned up…She's worried sick…" Gil had left his cell phone on the coffee table and he reached out to pick it up but Andrew moved and swept it away, hit the floor with a sharp clatter.

"Get out," Andrew said, this time a little more forcefully, and he took a step closer, never taking his eyes away from Gil for even one minute.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, here," Gil pulled himself together and stared right back at the young man, hoping he'd seem as intimidating now as his employees sometimes found him. "I know you don't like me, but…for you information, the stuff Sara might have told you about me was all in the past. There's always two sides to every story you know… And there's so much she hasn't told you yet…"

"What? About the games you played with her head, about asking her to come all the way here just so you can stop her from having a relationship with any other guy? She ditched a boyfriend there to be with you...really nice guy…would have done anything for her. Married her, had kids…you name it. God, she even gave up her family to be with you and all you've ever done is fuck with her head and use her."

"That's not true," Gil said, "and that's a juvenile insinuation to make. You don't know me, what gives you the right to make judgments?"

"As if you aren't judging me, the way you looked down your nose at me the day I turned up at your precious police department, I thought maybe you'd want to put me in a cell with all the other fuckwit nutjobs you convict on a day to day basis."

Gil stared right at the man, "you were causing havoc in our place of business. It was unacceptable – Sara seemed to think so too," he reminded. "And as for my relationship with Sara, it's not just about sex. Perhaps if you weren't so quick to judge what me and her have together she'd have explained it to you by now."

"If it weren't about sex, don't you think she would have told me by now?" Andrew pointed out coldly, and then laughed."God knows, she's told me about all her other boyfriends. Even that guy Hank."

Does he honestly think he's going to make me question my relationship with Sara? Gilt thought.

"If she didn't love me why did she complain about me so much to you before?" Gil snapped back, composed himself again. "For all you know the reason she hasn't told you about our relationship is because she felt foolish having said the things she said at the time."

"You—" Andrew began but Gil quickly cut him off before he had a chance to finish whatever he'd been about to say.

"I'm not here to argue. We both love Sara. You're her brother, I'm the man she loves…" Gil began.

Andrew snorted as if he didn't believe this.

Gil concentrated on ignoring that, "Look, we both play a huge part in her life. Whether we want to or not, we have to get along with each other for her sake. It doesn't matter that you don't like me – if you care for your sister at all, I'm sure you can overlook it."

Andrew rolled his eyes and then looked away, refusing to meet Gil's stare.

Gil couldn't find anything else to say, he had so many questions he wanted to ask and so many inappropriate comments he wanted to say to the man but he held his tongue. He was thankful that right then, this was the moment Sara chose to return home. The apartment door open and she stepped inside.

Sara saw her brother standing there and rushed to him, "where the hell have you been?" she demanded at once, barely even acknowledging Gil there at all.

"Out," Andrew remarked coldly, he looked to the floor.

"You shouldn't have ran off! God, I've been up and down the strip looking for you!" she smacked his bare arm hard enough to leave a reddening mark on his skin, "you asshole!"

"Hey!" Andrew shoved her back.

Gil propelled himself forward and pushed between them, holding Sara by the shoulders as she was about to lunge forward at her brother. "Stop it!" he demanded of both of them, he had one hand against Andrew's chest, and Andrew didn't seem too happy about this.

Sara tried to push past Gil, eyes practically shooting daggers at her brother "you ever shove me again and I swear to god I'll—"

"Sara…" Gil sighed, "calm down. I think your brother has taken enough hits for one night judging by the look of him, don't you think?"

Sara looked at him questioningly, and dropped her anger slightly. Gil looked between them both curiously, feeling rather awkward being caught in the middle. He turned his attention on Andrew.

"And I don't care if you're half my age, and think you're ten times the man I am," Gil frowned, "you shove her again, I'll rip your goddamn arm off and beat you to death with it myself." His own words shocked even Gil, but he felt some pride in the way he stood up to the young man nonetheless, despite the nervous way Andrew made him feel just by standing there with that psychotic look in his eyes.

"Why the hell did you run off and leave Greg there to get thrown out of the bar?" Sara demanded. "Greg took hits for you and you just took off without so much as even a thank you!"

"Never mind what I did," Andrew rubbed his arm, "Why didn't you just tell me you and him were…" Andrew began, paused, then rolled his green eyes, "seeing each other…instead of keeping your damn secrets…"

Sara had no answer, it was her turn to look at the floor now, examining her shoes, "it was none of your business."

"Tell me this is just a fling, Sara, 'cause this guy here thinks that you're all in love with him or something," Andrew cringed.

Sara's eyes finally raised to her brother, "Andrew," she sighed, "I'm not going to lie to you. Me and Gil…we are actually, uh…in love."

"After all you told me he did to you? Called you out here, then ran a mile when you asked him out? Acts cold towards you every time you try to tell him how you felt. And you're telling me this is LOVE?"

"It is love," Sara squinted angrily at him.

Andrew laughed in an insane maniacal way as if he thought this was all some kind of joke, "you're so deluded. A guy who acted that way to you then can't possibly love you. He's using you…"
"Andrew, you don't even know what's going on here," Sara frowned, "So don't stand there and try to tell me what he may or may not feel for me. If he didn't love me, why did he tell me he does? If he doesn't love me, why are we moving in together? If he doesn't love me, why the hell did he propose to me?"

There was a strange bout of silence, and Andrew looked between Gil and Sara with confusion etched on his half bloody face. "You're…gonna marry this guy?"

"No," Sara said, "for your information, I turned HIM down on the proposal," she said firmly.

"Uh…thanks. I needed reminding of that," Gil put forward feeling the stab of misery from the proposal rejection that seemed now so long ago.

"You know that means nothing," Sara shook her head absently at Gil without looking towards him, "but Andrew, the point is, this thing me and Gil have, it's actually real, whether you want to believe it or not. I know I told you about some of the stuff he did that hurt me in the past. If I can look past that stuff when it was me who endured it all, then you should be able to, too."

"I just don't get WHY you didn't tell me the fucking truth."

"Because you would have acted just the way you're acting now," Sara gestured angrily towards him, "you're being an asshole. For once in my life, I'm finally happy – you hear that? HAPPY."

"Yeah, well if you're so goddamn happy, why the hell are you still drinking?" Andrew shot.

Gil spun around to look at Sara in disbelief. The words still drinking seemed to be like a shard of cold sharp ice that cut through his heart. He faced her and waited to hear her response, but she seemed to have none.

Sara looked as if she was struggling to swallow back more emotion than she could handle. She stared at Gil, speechless, guilt all over her face. She then looked away, and Gil was concerned she might begin to cry, her eyes glassed over, if only momentarily.

"Sara…" Gil said softly.

Sara closed her eyes, and silently counted backwards from ten, mouthing each number. Gil read her lips as she did so, at the same time he had the strange lurching sensation in his stomach as if he were being carried by the momentum of an elevator.

Sara finished counting, recomposed. "Andrew…this whole thing isn't about me, it's about you. Why are you standing there trying to make me feel bad about my choices when you're standing with a bloody nosed and a bruised face from a bar fight? You want to talk about choices? Okay, fine, let's talk about your choices, and all the bad ones you've made. Drugs…bad investments, and I'm not the only person in this family who drowns in a bottle every time something goes wrong!" she cried at him.

Gil kept his eyes on Sara all the while she was speaking, she seemed eerily calm but he was afraid she might crack and lunge at her brother again any moment. And what concerned him more was, he was afraid that Andrew might try to do the same to her.

Andrew seemed to have nothing else to say to Sara, he dropped his cold gaze to the floor. Gil racked his brains for something to say to close the conversation, to end this fight, but nothing came to mind.

"I'm going to Gil's," Sara said coldly to Andrew, "I can't even look at you right now," she uttered, and she headed out the door without even waiting for Gil to follow.

Gil sighed, realizing he had little choice but to follow Sara, and he headed for the door, he heard Andrew's loathing voice at his back.

"And you wanted to marry THAT," Andrew had muttered.

Gil breathed in deeply to control some of the anger that threatened to erupt from him at the tone of Andrew's voice. Gil's final words before he left Sara's apartment were, "I still do."

Okay, so yeah, it's been a while. I'm working on other fanfic stuff as well at the moment so this is why it's taken so long to get to this chapter, but it's up now (so you can all relax, lol.)

Thanks to everyone for reviewing :)

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Ash