Back in Indianapolis:
Lauren continued to stare at the screen, mesmerized. After about an hour or so, her eyes began to hurt. So she decided to use some of Laura's contact solution.
After thoroughly filling her eyes with the "man-made tears" as she called them, she skipped happily back to Laura's room, anxious to go back a few chapters on the DVD to the scene where Strider first comes into the movie.
She squealed as Aragorn pulled off his cloak, saying, "That is a rare gift." She fumbled with the remote and pressed the "pause" button. Then she planed a nice kiss on Aragorn's stubbly cheek.
ZZZZAP!!!
"WEEEEEEEE!!!" Lauren screamed happily. "New special effects!" She looked down and saw a large house/castle/thing below her. "Woooooohooooooo!!!" She seemed to go right through the roof, and landed with a small *plop* on a bed... and the person who was in it.
~*~*~*~*~
I had been peacefully sleeping, dreaming of doing unspeakable things to my lover elf, when someone pounced on my bed. "ARGGH!!!! GET OFF, YOU HORNY ELF!!!" I kicked with all my might, and felt the person fly off of me. I scrambled and sat up and saw the person... upside down in an armchair across the room.
"Hi pretty lady!" the person said, still upside down. "My name is Lauren Taylor!"
My eyes got wide. "OHMYGAWD!!!" I screamed. I leapt up and hugged Lauren in a huge bear hug. "Erm... are you a lesbian?" she asked.
"NO, you ninny foo foo!! It's me, Laura!" Lauren gaped, then threw her arms around my... knees? "You got tall," she said stupidly.
I blinked. "You twit. I turned into an elf. We're in Rivendell! But... Why are you... so... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" I screamed with laughter and fell backwards onto my bed. "Ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd... woo, okay I'm calm..." I looked back at Lauren. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
"What is so funny?" she asked in an irritated tone.
"You're- you're!" I couldn't say it. It was too funny.
"I'm what!?"
"A HOBBIT!!!" I shrieked, then collapsed back onto the bed clutching my sides and laughing hysterically.
"EEP!!!" Lauren squealed. I heard her run across the room over to my vanity. "A hobbit? I HATE HOBBITS!! Their feet are HAIRY!! I mean, God, how natural is *that*!?" A pause. "OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Oh god, this was too much. Lauren had shrunk about two feet, and had gotten slightly fatter. Her feet, however, had stayed their normal size (size 9 ½), and had grown thick curly hair. Her normally straight brown hair on her head had become curly, too.
She started wailing hysterically as I laughed. After about five minutes someone came barging into the room.
"What is going on in here!?" Elrond yelled.
I sat up in fright as Lauren shut up, then squealed and hid behind the chair. "M-my lord!!" I stuttered, standing up. "I apologize for the uproar. You see, my dear friend, erm... Mary-sue, or Mary for short, surprised me by coming in and jumping on my bed." Lauren gaped at me for calling her that.
"How did you manage to get past the guards, young hobbit?" Elrond said icily.
"Erm... well, I uh..."
"Oh, Lord Elrond, she has been known for being extremely quiet. Even *I* cannot hear her when she approaches. 'Tis quite unnatural for a hobbit, is it not?"
"Yes it is. Well, will she be traveling to Mirkwood with you, Lothuviel?"
"Lothuviel? Your name isn't-"
"YES, she shall, Lord Elrond, if it is alright with King Thranduil."
"Indeed. Well, Mary, I shall ask one of the seamstresses to come and make you some clothes." He looked funnily at Lauren's hobbit-sized blue jeans and T-shirt that said "I love Aragorn", then turned and left.
"Lothuviel?" Lauren asked in a disgusted voice. "You call yourself Lothuviel?"
"Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with that, Mary-sue?" I said with a smirk. Lauren grumbled and climbed up into the armchair.
*****
Lauren and I hung out over the next few weeks. Mostly I told her about my evil plan to win over my Leggy, or we explored Rivendell.
One day in particular I had taken her out on Erregroth for a ride. We were riding through the woods surrounding Rivendell. Lauren was holding onto his mane in a death grip, which made the horse slightly pissed. He would spontaneously make sharp turns to try to knock us off. And after about fifteen times, he succeeded.
"OOF!!" We fell to the ground with a large *thump* and rolled a few feet. Then Erregroth decided that his duty was done and cantered back towards the palace.
"STUPID HORSE!!!" I yelled after him, rubbing my head. A stupid rock had gotten in the way.
"I thought elves had a way with animals," Lauren said sarcastically.
"Yeah, well... shut up." I lamely threw some leaves at her, then stopped. "What was that?"
"I don't know, Miss Future Princess of Mirkwood. You're the elf. Why don't YOU figure it out?"
"Hush!" I listened closely. "It's hoof beats. An Elvish horse, if I'm not mistaken."
"How can you tell?"
"Elvish horses have much softer hoof beats than regular horses, and their strides are longer." No sooner had I said that than a blonde elf on a palomino horse cantered up to us.
"My lady, are you alright?!" he exclaimed, leaping off the horse and helping me up.
"Yes, I am fine. My horse has thrown me off, and I suppose I was just dazed." The elf laid his hand on my forehead, and my headache went away. I sighed. "I thank thee, erm..."
"My name is Tinwe, my lady," he said, bowing and kissing my hand.
"Ahem?" said another voice. We both looked at the ground and saw Lauren standing there with her arms crossed.
"Oh, and this is my companion, Mary-sue," I added dully. Lauren growled.
"I am a messenger for Prince Legolas of Mirkwood. I have a message for the Lady Lothuviel Whiteflower."
"Really?!" I squealed. He chuckled and nodded. "Are you she?"
"I am! Is the message from Legolas?!"
"It is," Tinwe said, handing me an envelope. It was sealed with green sealing wax stamped with a tree design.
"Oooh, thank you!" I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet and tucking the envelope into my little bag.
"You are quite welcome, Lady Lothuviel. But come now, you and your friend have a bit of a walk back to Rivendell. Would you like to ride with me?"
"We would greatly appreciate it," I said sweetly. "Come, Mary-sue!" I lifted a grumbling Lauren into the saddle and I swung myself up behind her. Tinwe mounted up behind me and gently held onto my waist, then said, "Noro lim." The horse started cantering into the woods towards Rivendell.
After only a few minutes we were riding back through the gates into the palace. I leapt off of the horse and quickly thanked Tinwe, then yanked Lauren out of the saddle. I ran up to my room, Lauren waddling as fast as she could behind me. I threw myself onto the bed and ripped open the envelope as Lauren closed the door. She climbed up next to me.
"What took him so long!?" I exclaimed, not really angry. Then I read the letter out loud. "It says, 'My dearest friend Lothuviel-'"
"I thought he was in love with you. Why doesn't he call you 'My Love' or something?"
"Silence, infidel! I'm working on it."
"'My dearest friend Lothuviel,
"'It is my great joy that my father has given you permission to come and visit Trelan and I in Mirkwood. My friend Tinwe, who carried this letter, shall accompany you back to Mirkwood. I pray that I shall see thee soon, and I greatly look forward to your visit.
"'Please forgive the briefness of this letter, but I have just received word of some orcs causing trouble, and Trelan, my father, and I must hold a council.
"'Trelan sends his love, as do I.'"
I squealed. "HE LOVES ME!!!!"
"Dude, Laura, chill. He's just saying it in a friendly way."
"SHUT UP!! 'I pray that you shall make haste to come and see us. Legolas.'"
I sighed and fell backwards onto the bed, clutching the letter. "He loves meeeeeee..."
"No he doesssssnnnn't."
"Mary-sue, how many times must I tell you to BE QUIET!!!" I shouted in her ear. She winced and crossed her arms over her chest. "Now I must take leave of thee, my dear friend, and go and find Tinwe. Farewell." I daintily skipped out the door and down the hall.
I found Tinwe sitting in the Hall of Fire and talking to Lord Elrond. "Forgive the interruption, my lord, but I have just read the letter from Legolas. It says that-"
"Yes, Tinwe has explained the contents of the letter. You are leaving tomorrow, so you should go get ready."
"Thank you, my lord," I said with a hurried bow. I raced back up to my room and found Lauren eating some of the little candies that were on the desk.
"Stupid hobbit. Stop eating my candy."
"Mmph."
"We're leaving tomorrow."
"Mff rff!?"
"Yes, we are. Elrond says that I need to pack, so you need to, too. So go away and do that." I picked her up and threw her out the door, then raced into my closet.
*****
"Farewell, Fiwen my friend," I said, giving her a hug. We were standing in the courtyard and preparing to leave.
"Farewell, Lothuviel. Come back soon," she said, returning the hug. We had become pretty good friends over the last couple of months.
Then Lord Elrond did something completely unexpected. He kissed my hand! When had he EVER been polite to me!?
"Farewell, Lothuviel Whiteflower. We shall greatly miss your presence."
"Thank you, my lord," I said, bowing. Then I leapt up onto Erregroth, and Lauren mounted her pony. She glared up at me and mouthed "You suck." I just grinned and adjusted my bow to a more comfortable positon on my shoulder as Tinwe leapt into his saddle. Then we rode out of the gates and into the wilderness.
The journey took about two weeks, and nothing really happened throughout those weeks. All we did was just ride and talk and be bored and eat and sleep. 'Twas BORING. Like I said, nothing happened. That is, until the last day.
We were riding through the edge of the Mirkwood forest. It was really weird, because even though it was only three o'clock, it looked like dusk. There was a strange mist hanging around, and long moss fell down from the trees. Very creepy.
"I'm scared," Lauren squeaked from two feet below me.
"There is no reason to be scared, little one. There are elvish guards within five miles of us. We are fairly safe," Tinwe reassured her.
"Oh thanks. That helps," she said dryly. We rode on in silence for another two minutes, until-
"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Tinwe's horse let out a scream of terror. I almost jumped out of my skin as I whirled around and saw the worst thing ever.
"HOLY SHIT!!! A GIANT SPIDER!!!!" I screeched. Erregroth pranced around nervously as Tinwe's horse continued to whinny in fear.
"Lothuviel! Shoot it!" Tinwe cried. The spider was on the horse's rump, in a spot that he couldn't possibly reach. I quickly pulled out an arrow and nocked it, attempting to aim at the spider. I let the arrow go, and the spider fell with a large *thump* onto the ground.
"Thank you," Tinwe said between gasps.
"I did not know I could shoot it!" I exclaimed.
"You didn't," said another male voice. I whirled around and saw-
"TRELAN!!" I screeched. I leapt to the ground and threw myself into his arms. "What do you mean I didn't!?"
"I shot the spider, silly," he said with a grin. I turned around and saw my arrow lying uselessly on the ground. Lauren started howling with laughter. "Perhaps I should take some archery lessons," I said, color rising to my cheeks.
"Greetings, Tinwe," Trelan called. Then he looked over at Lauren. "And who is this?"
"My name's Mary-sue. Nice to meet ya," Lauren said dully. She wasn't having very much fun on this whole experience.
"She is my friend. We met when I traveled to Hobbiton," I told them, making up a story off the top of my head.
"I didn't know you went to Hobbiton, Lothuviel," Trelan said.
"Erm... yeah, she did. She told me she wanted to know 'bout hobbits, because she was quote 'fascinated by them'," Lauren said.
"I see. Well, come now, Lothuviel. We must go and see Prince Legolas." He winked at me and I grinned. This was gonna be good.
~*~*~*~*~
Another chapter done!! Woohoo!!! *does a happy dance* Now we can all go and review Laurel's lurvely story, no?
Also, check out Crystyna's stories, "The Young Order" and "How to Snag a Hottie from Your Prom Queen of the Caribbean." They're both REALLY good!! Toodles!
~*Laurel*~
Lauren continued to stare at the screen, mesmerized. After about an hour or so, her eyes began to hurt. So she decided to use some of Laura's contact solution.
After thoroughly filling her eyes with the "man-made tears" as she called them, she skipped happily back to Laura's room, anxious to go back a few chapters on the DVD to the scene where Strider first comes into the movie.
She squealed as Aragorn pulled off his cloak, saying, "That is a rare gift." She fumbled with the remote and pressed the "pause" button. Then she planed a nice kiss on Aragorn's stubbly cheek.
ZZZZAP!!!
"WEEEEEEEE!!!" Lauren screamed happily. "New special effects!" She looked down and saw a large house/castle/thing below her. "Woooooohooooooo!!!" She seemed to go right through the roof, and landed with a small *plop* on a bed... and the person who was in it.
~*~*~*~*~
I had been peacefully sleeping, dreaming of doing unspeakable things to my lover elf, when someone pounced on my bed. "ARGGH!!!! GET OFF, YOU HORNY ELF!!!" I kicked with all my might, and felt the person fly off of me. I scrambled and sat up and saw the person... upside down in an armchair across the room.
"Hi pretty lady!" the person said, still upside down. "My name is Lauren Taylor!"
My eyes got wide. "OHMYGAWD!!!" I screamed. I leapt up and hugged Lauren in a huge bear hug. "Erm... are you a lesbian?" she asked.
"NO, you ninny foo foo!! It's me, Laura!" Lauren gaped, then threw her arms around my... knees? "You got tall," she said stupidly.
I blinked. "You twit. I turned into an elf. We're in Rivendell! But... Why are you... so... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" I screamed with laughter and fell backwards onto my bed. "Ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd... woo, okay I'm calm..." I looked back at Lauren. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
"What is so funny?" she asked in an irritated tone.
"You're- you're!" I couldn't say it. It was too funny.
"I'm what!?"
"A HOBBIT!!!" I shrieked, then collapsed back onto the bed clutching my sides and laughing hysterically.
"EEP!!!" Lauren squealed. I heard her run across the room over to my vanity. "A hobbit? I HATE HOBBITS!! Their feet are HAIRY!! I mean, God, how natural is *that*!?" A pause. "OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Oh god, this was too much. Lauren had shrunk about two feet, and had gotten slightly fatter. Her feet, however, had stayed their normal size (size 9 ½), and had grown thick curly hair. Her normally straight brown hair on her head had become curly, too.
She started wailing hysterically as I laughed. After about five minutes someone came barging into the room.
"What is going on in here!?" Elrond yelled.
I sat up in fright as Lauren shut up, then squealed and hid behind the chair. "M-my lord!!" I stuttered, standing up. "I apologize for the uproar. You see, my dear friend, erm... Mary-sue, or Mary for short, surprised me by coming in and jumping on my bed." Lauren gaped at me for calling her that.
"How did you manage to get past the guards, young hobbit?" Elrond said icily.
"Erm... well, I uh..."
"Oh, Lord Elrond, she has been known for being extremely quiet. Even *I* cannot hear her when she approaches. 'Tis quite unnatural for a hobbit, is it not?"
"Yes it is. Well, will she be traveling to Mirkwood with you, Lothuviel?"
"Lothuviel? Your name isn't-"
"YES, she shall, Lord Elrond, if it is alright with King Thranduil."
"Indeed. Well, Mary, I shall ask one of the seamstresses to come and make you some clothes." He looked funnily at Lauren's hobbit-sized blue jeans and T-shirt that said "I love Aragorn", then turned and left.
"Lothuviel?" Lauren asked in a disgusted voice. "You call yourself Lothuviel?"
"Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with that, Mary-sue?" I said with a smirk. Lauren grumbled and climbed up into the armchair.
*****
Lauren and I hung out over the next few weeks. Mostly I told her about my evil plan to win over my Leggy, or we explored Rivendell.
One day in particular I had taken her out on Erregroth for a ride. We were riding through the woods surrounding Rivendell. Lauren was holding onto his mane in a death grip, which made the horse slightly pissed. He would spontaneously make sharp turns to try to knock us off. And after about fifteen times, he succeeded.
"OOF!!" We fell to the ground with a large *thump* and rolled a few feet. Then Erregroth decided that his duty was done and cantered back towards the palace.
"STUPID HORSE!!!" I yelled after him, rubbing my head. A stupid rock had gotten in the way.
"I thought elves had a way with animals," Lauren said sarcastically.
"Yeah, well... shut up." I lamely threw some leaves at her, then stopped. "What was that?"
"I don't know, Miss Future Princess of Mirkwood. You're the elf. Why don't YOU figure it out?"
"Hush!" I listened closely. "It's hoof beats. An Elvish horse, if I'm not mistaken."
"How can you tell?"
"Elvish horses have much softer hoof beats than regular horses, and their strides are longer." No sooner had I said that than a blonde elf on a palomino horse cantered up to us.
"My lady, are you alright?!" he exclaimed, leaping off the horse and helping me up.
"Yes, I am fine. My horse has thrown me off, and I suppose I was just dazed." The elf laid his hand on my forehead, and my headache went away. I sighed. "I thank thee, erm..."
"My name is Tinwe, my lady," he said, bowing and kissing my hand.
"Ahem?" said another voice. We both looked at the ground and saw Lauren standing there with her arms crossed.
"Oh, and this is my companion, Mary-sue," I added dully. Lauren growled.
"I am a messenger for Prince Legolas of Mirkwood. I have a message for the Lady Lothuviel Whiteflower."
"Really?!" I squealed. He chuckled and nodded. "Are you she?"
"I am! Is the message from Legolas?!"
"It is," Tinwe said, handing me an envelope. It was sealed with green sealing wax stamped with a tree design.
"Oooh, thank you!" I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet and tucking the envelope into my little bag.
"You are quite welcome, Lady Lothuviel. But come now, you and your friend have a bit of a walk back to Rivendell. Would you like to ride with me?"
"We would greatly appreciate it," I said sweetly. "Come, Mary-sue!" I lifted a grumbling Lauren into the saddle and I swung myself up behind her. Tinwe mounted up behind me and gently held onto my waist, then said, "Noro lim." The horse started cantering into the woods towards Rivendell.
After only a few minutes we were riding back through the gates into the palace. I leapt off of the horse and quickly thanked Tinwe, then yanked Lauren out of the saddle. I ran up to my room, Lauren waddling as fast as she could behind me. I threw myself onto the bed and ripped open the envelope as Lauren closed the door. She climbed up next to me.
"What took him so long!?" I exclaimed, not really angry. Then I read the letter out loud. "It says, 'My dearest friend Lothuviel-'"
"I thought he was in love with you. Why doesn't he call you 'My Love' or something?"
"Silence, infidel! I'm working on it."
"'My dearest friend Lothuviel,
"'It is my great joy that my father has given you permission to come and visit Trelan and I in Mirkwood. My friend Tinwe, who carried this letter, shall accompany you back to Mirkwood. I pray that I shall see thee soon, and I greatly look forward to your visit.
"'Please forgive the briefness of this letter, but I have just received word of some orcs causing trouble, and Trelan, my father, and I must hold a council.
"'Trelan sends his love, as do I.'"
I squealed. "HE LOVES ME!!!!"
"Dude, Laura, chill. He's just saying it in a friendly way."
"SHUT UP!! 'I pray that you shall make haste to come and see us. Legolas.'"
I sighed and fell backwards onto the bed, clutching the letter. "He loves meeeeeee..."
"No he doesssssnnnn't."
"Mary-sue, how many times must I tell you to BE QUIET!!!" I shouted in her ear. She winced and crossed her arms over her chest. "Now I must take leave of thee, my dear friend, and go and find Tinwe. Farewell." I daintily skipped out the door and down the hall.
I found Tinwe sitting in the Hall of Fire and talking to Lord Elrond. "Forgive the interruption, my lord, but I have just read the letter from Legolas. It says that-"
"Yes, Tinwe has explained the contents of the letter. You are leaving tomorrow, so you should go get ready."
"Thank you, my lord," I said with a hurried bow. I raced back up to my room and found Lauren eating some of the little candies that were on the desk.
"Stupid hobbit. Stop eating my candy."
"Mmph."
"We're leaving tomorrow."
"Mff rff!?"
"Yes, we are. Elrond says that I need to pack, so you need to, too. So go away and do that." I picked her up and threw her out the door, then raced into my closet.
*****
"Farewell, Fiwen my friend," I said, giving her a hug. We were standing in the courtyard and preparing to leave.
"Farewell, Lothuviel. Come back soon," she said, returning the hug. We had become pretty good friends over the last couple of months.
Then Lord Elrond did something completely unexpected. He kissed my hand! When had he EVER been polite to me!?
"Farewell, Lothuviel Whiteflower. We shall greatly miss your presence."
"Thank you, my lord," I said, bowing. Then I leapt up onto Erregroth, and Lauren mounted her pony. She glared up at me and mouthed "You suck." I just grinned and adjusted my bow to a more comfortable positon on my shoulder as Tinwe leapt into his saddle. Then we rode out of the gates and into the wilderness.
The journey took about two weeks, and nothing really happened throughout those weeks. All we did was just ride and talk and be bored and eat and sleep. 'Twas BORING. Like I said, nothing happened. That is, until the last day.
We were riding through the edge of the Mirkwood forest. It was really weird, because even though it was only three o'clock, it looked like dusk. There was a strange mist hanging around, and long moss fell down from the trees. Very creepy.
"I'm scared," Lauren squeaked from two feet below me.
"There is no reason to be scared, little one. There are elvish guards within five miles of us. We are fairly safe," Tinwe reassured her.
"Oh thanks. That helps," she said dryly. We rode on in silence for another two minutes, until-
"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Tinwe's horse let out a scream of terror. I almost jumped out of my skin as I whirled around and saw the worst thing ever.
"HOLY SHIT!!! A GIANT SPIDER!!!!" I screeched. Erregroth pranced around nervously as Tinwe's horse continued to whinny in fear.
"Lothuviel! Shoot it!" Tinwe cried. The spider was on the horse's rump, in a spot that he couldn't possibly reach. I quickly pulled out an arrow and nocked it, attempting to aim at the spider. I let the arrow go, and the spider fell with a large *thump* onto the ground.
"Thank you," Tinwe said between gasps.
"I did not know I could shoot it!" I exclaimed.
"You didn't," said another male voice. I whirled around and saw-
"TRELAN!!" I screeched. I leapt to the ground and threw myself into his arms. "What do you mean I didn't!?"
"I shot the spider, silly," he said with a grin. I turned around and saw my arrow lying uselessly on the ground. Lauren started howling with laughter. "Perhaps I should take some archery lessons," I said, color rising to my cheeks.
"Greetings, Tinwe," Trelan called. Then he looked over at Lauren. "And who is this?"
"My name's Mary-sue. Nice to meet ya," Lauren said dully. She wasn't having very much fun on this whole experience.
"She is my friend. We met when I traveled to Hobbiton," I told them, making up a story off the top of my head.
"I didn't know you went to Hobbiton, Lothuviel," Trelan said.
"Erm... yeah, she did. She told me she wanted to know 'bout hobbits, because she was quote 'fascinated by them'," Lauren said.
"I see. Well, come now, Lothuviel. We must go and see Prince Legolas." He winked at me and I grinned. This was gonna be good.
~*~*~*~*~
Another chapter done!! Woohoo!!! *does a happy dance* Now we can all go and review Laurel's lurvely story, no?
Also, check out Crystyna's stories, "The Young Order" and "How to Snag a Hottie from Your Prom Queen of the Caribbean." They're both REALLY good!! Toodles!
~*Laurel*~