Chapter 93

Wildfire

Catherine let herself into Gil's office later that shift, without even announcing her presence. The way she shut the door abruptly and glanced through the blinds quickly as if to make sure no one was watching her was more than enough to get Gil's attention.

He raised his head from the report he was writing, raising an eyebrow at her behavior. Even without her saying why he already knew why she was there.

"Everyone is talking, Grissom…"

"About?" he played the fool and gave a weary sigh, placing his pen down neatly beside the folder he was working from.

"You and Sara…" Catherine swallowed, "Nick and I got back from a crime scene to hear the rumour spreading like wildfire about how you were holding her hands in the break room, and then she had her hands all over your face…jesus, Grissom, you look like shit by the way…" she looked at him.

The emotion had taken it's toll on Gil, and he felt and looked so much older than he knew he should have at this point. His face was heavy with sadness and exhaustion. "Thanks, I really don't hear that enough," he responded quietly.

"Why were you so blatantly obvious in the break room? You could have waited…could have at least waited until you were in your office and had the blinds closed…" Catherine said. "Hodges knows. You realize that don't you? Hodges told ME about like it was something he thought I didn't know about. As if," she rolled her eyes.

Gil sighed again, cradling his head in his hands. He'd known the minute he'd seen Hodges out in the hall that it spelled Trouble with a capital T.

"God and you know what's worse, he actually thought I'd be upset to hear about you and Sara. Like I was in love with you or something," Catherine shook her head in disgrace.

Gil didn't feel like laughing and yet, couldn't contain himself. The absurdity of that statement left his heart lighter than perhaps it had been before.

"It's not funny, damn it!" Catherine made a face, "people in this lab think that I think I can't do any better than you!" she hissed.

He shook his head, the laughter beginning to die down, "oh come on, Cath. You're basing that thought on something Hodges said?" He looked at her skeptically.

Catherine sighed.

"This whole thing is absurd. But on the bright side people won't think I'm gay anymore," he mused. He picked up the pen and continued with his report regardless of Catherine's being there.

"What about Ecklie?" she asked, tossing her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, she came over and sat on the edge of his desk.

"What about him?" Gil shrugged nonchalantly.

"He's your boss," Catherine reminded.

"I'm not worried about Conrad Ecklie," Gil decided, and truly, he wasn't, although he found it hard to believe himself.

"He could fire you."

"For exchanging romantic gestures with a subordinate?" he asked. "I checked the employee handbook a long time ago. Dating a colleague isn't forbidden. Frowned upon, but not forbidden. And as for what happened in the break room, Conrad can't touch me or Sara on this. It was on our own time, during our break. Okay, so we were at work at the time, but it's not like we were screwing on the table," he gave a wry smile.

"Yeah, well you're just lucky tonight is Ecklie's night off, you at least have time to think of what you're gonna say when he asks what the hell is going on around here," Catherine folded her arms casually.

"Y'know, I don't need to think about it. I know what precisely I'm going to say. That it's none of his damn business," Gil frowned.

"You know, you're taking this surprisingly well," Catherine admitted.

"Should I not be?"

"I just figured you'd be freaking out by now. You've been striving for months to keep your relationship with Sara a secret, and now everyone knows…"

Gil realized she was right. He expected himself somewhat to be feeling apprehensive about the whole thing, but somehow, he was surprisingly calm. Maybe he was just too exhausted to give a damn anymore, he wasn't sure. "I'm not freaking."

"Your personal life has just been exposed. Everyone knows your business. And you're acting like you don't care," Catherine remarked.

"That's just it," Gil put the pen down again and folded his arms over his stomach, "I just don't care anymore. I've given my whole damn life to this job. I had my priorities all wrong…"

Catherine snorted, "please, who are you and what have you done with the real Gil Grissom?"

"We've had this discussion already Catherine. I've changed. I'm the real Gil Grissom. That other guy, the guy who spent all his time at work, never allowing himself to feel anything, forget him. He doesn't exist anymore – and as far as I'm concerned that's the best way for it. I had to kill him off the minute I decided to be with Sara. He's long gone, dead and buried."

Catherine looked at him, slightly surprised.

"He won't be coming back. Ever."

A knock at the door startled them both, and they gazed at the door to see Sara step in. Sara shut the door in a rage, "Hodges just asked me if screwing you is going to get me a promotion."

Gil pursed his lips to keep from laughing in amusement. One thing about Hodges, he didn't mince words.

"It's not funny, Grissom! The whole damn lab knows about us! They're asking questions, I can't get a minutes peace!" Sara complained.

"Hey, you had as much to do with this as I did," he reminded, holding up his hands in defense.

"I know…but…"

"Sara…we might as well face it. The whole lab had to know sooner or later. And now they do there's nothing we can do about it. Lets just ignore it. Eventually, people will forget all about it, or stop caring. Tomorrow it'll be yesterdays news," he reminded.

Sara gave a frustrated sigh, folding her arms and looking away with a dark expression on her face.

Gil glanced to Catherine, "Cath, could you, uh, give us a minute?"

"Sure. I gotta get back to work anyway," Catherine stood slowly, she gave the both a suspicious glance and a smirk before leaving the office, closing the door quietly behind herself.

"Ecklie is off today, isn't he?" Sara asked once Catherine had left.

"Yeah," Gil answered, he gestured to the chair in front of his desk, and Sara took a seat hesitantly.

"I figured. By now I'd have expected to be dragged into his office and dictated to on the evils of interoffice dating," Sara made a face, she put her hands on her lap.

"There isn't anything he can do. There was nothing particularly inappropriate about what happened in the break room. If you want I can deny everything and say you were simply comforting me," Gil kept his eyes firmly glued onto hers.

"Comforting you?" Sara asked.

"I took personal time off for my mothers funeral, it's on file, Sara," Gil reminded, "Ecklie knows about that. I could easily say I'm still grief stricken and that you were trying to pull me together again before the next half of the shift began," he offered. "If Hodges is so damn observant he'd have probably noticed you wiping the tear from my face," Gil added, slightly embarrassed.

"No…" Sara shook her head, "I can't let you do that…it's lies. We've spent the last four months lying…and it keeps snowballing."

"Fine," Gil propped his elbows on the desk, he rested his chin on his hands, "then like I said to Cath, even if Conrad wants to pull us over the proverbial coals for what happened, there isn't much he can do. We weren't being intimate during work hours, we were on a break."

Sara watched him carefully with her serious brown eyes.

"Anyway," Gil straightened, he put both hands on the desk, "Lets change the subject. I'm done worrying about this whole thing," he remarked. "Have you spoken to Andrew?"

"Not yet," Sara said, "I thought of calling my apartment but…"

"But?" Gil asked.

"I'm still pissed at him."

"What is the deal with your brother, Sara? During the argument I only picked up bits and pieces of the puzzle," Gil looked at her.

"He….he's having some…financial difficulty," Sara managed.

"That I figured," Gil raised an eyebrow. "Sara, if there's more I need to know about this…then you should tell me…"

"Andrew has had a tough year…drugs…alcohol…girlfriend dumped him," Sara sighed, "he can't hold down a job, what little money he'd had he blew it on a bad investment with a friend. He's up to his neck in debt, he was kicked out of his apartment," she sighed. "He's trying to get back on track, it's just hard..."

"Is he still using drugs?"

"No…" Sara said firmly, "I made sure of that."

"The day he arrived I could have sworn he was on something," Gil confessed, "which is why I'm so surprised he wasn't stopped by security the minute he tried to get into the building. I know the signs, Sara, I'm not stupid."

Sara looked away.

"He was on something," Gil sighed.

"I took care of it," Sara assured.

"How?"

"When we got in here," she reminded him that she'd used the office to speak privately with her brother, "I searched him for drugs."

"What'd you find?"

"Crack," Sara frowned.

"Jesus, Sara, you had CRACK in my office!" he gaped.

"Ssh," Sara's eyes burned intense as she looked at him in a frown.

"Sorry…I…you had crack in here?"

"I got rid of it," Sara assured, "but I couldn't have Andrew arrested for possession…I know it's wrong, I know I could lose my job over it, but…" she swallowed, "he's my brother."

"I know," Gil sighed. "What are you doing to help Andrew?"

"I arranged him to see a counselor. I'm constantly checking to make sure he's not on drugs, or hiding drugs in my apartment," she reeled off, "I'm helping him look for work but so far he hasn't found anything…" Sara sighed, "Until I find him a job, I can't get him out of my apartment. He has nowhere else to stay and he can barely take care of himself…"

"Some day he's going to have to learn, Sara," Gil pointed out.

"I know. But in the meantime, there's nothing I can do…"

Gil let her words sink in, and spent a few moments pondering what the solution to all these problems could be. "Sara…it can't be easy living with him."

"It isn't," Sara sighed.

"Move in with me."

"Huh?" Sara blinked, she looked at him as if she couldn't quite believe he'd just brought this up again.

"Move in with me. Let your brother take over your apartment."

"I can't do that. What if he brought drugs into the place…?"

"He could already have done it. If he hasn't done it now, then maybe he's proved he can be responsible enough to keep drugs out of there," Gil pointed out. "And as for living with you…He's not going to get a job if you keep taking care of him and giving him money…"

"Gil, that's—" Sara began with a frown.

"I know, it's none of my business," he nodded, "but just hear me out. Leaving him to fend for himself might seem harsh, I'll admit, but…if he thinks you're gonna be there all the time, he might be relying on you, it might be holding him back."

Sara looked away, pursing her lips together.

"You know I'm right, Sara. Coddling him and giving him money isn't going to make him take care of himself."

Sara looked as if she was beginning to sway.

Gil waited for her to respond.

"I…uh, I'll think about it," Sara said softly, and she stood up, she stretched and gave a yawn, which made Gil yawn too.

"At least come back to my place after the shift. Get some sleep, and then you can go home and check on your brother before the next shift starts." Gil offered, "Andrew should have cooled down by tonight."

Sara paused at the door, then sighed, "okay…fine."

Gil smiled, "see you at the end of shift."

93 down, 7 to go, ;)

Thanks to everyone for constantly reviewing, it means so much. I'm going to miss all those reviews when this story eventually ends.I'll still be doing other fanfic though so there'll always be something for you guys to read, lol. Might not have as much sex and angst as "finding me" but it'll do in a pinch, lol.

Ash