DIARY OF KATE RYON
MAY 17th, 2005 11:07 PM
Jin is sick. Jack is doing all he can to make sure he gets better,
but I don't know what's going to happen. Every hour Jack and I check up on
him, make sure he's still alive and stuff.
Locke says that everyone gets a new life on the island, a new
chance to start over. But I can't let go of the past. I killed the man I loved...
I wish I'd had the guts to make him stay instead of getting in the car with
me. But I was scared, and because of my idiocy, Tom is dead.
Also, it doesn't help that my own mother screamed at the sight of
me. What have I done that's so wrong? Why do people judge me? Why do they
all think that no one can ever change, that life is set in stone?
Thanks to Sawyer, all these people that before thought I was a
normal person now fear me.
So far my new life has been exactly the same as the old one.
I'm glad that Sawyer is finally gone. The harassment was really
getting to me. Maybe that's just his personality, but I can say that I really
don't like it.
Jack is acting weird around me. He gets a little jittery when I'm
around him. Or maybe he just stutters a lot. Who knows?
I think I like being alone with him. When we're in the jungle
together, alone, it's like all is right with the world. Also, Jack is the only
person on this Godforsaken island that doesn't think I'm going to stab
them while they're asleep or something.
Also, I like his eyes. They're really beautiful, and it's almost
like just looking at him will keep me safe. And when he takes his shirt off...
WHAT AM I DOING? I'm writing about Jack Shepard, that's what.
WHAT THE HELL? I KILLED the man I love. I promised myself that I
would never love anyone that way again.
But maybe it's time I got over Tom. Maybe I should let myself
forget about the past. Maybe we weren't stranded on this island for no
reason. Maybe I have to start my new life. And to start my new life, I
need to forget about Tom.