Lolly: LMAO!! No!!! I wasn't foreshadowing anything!! Don't worry, nothing happened with me. I was just reeeeeeally drunk... Yay I scare people!!
Crystyna: *groans* NOT A MARY-SUE!!! LOL j/k. Write whatever you want. It's a free country.
Iariel: Yeah, Lauren isn't quite as serious as I am. She's just stupid. LOL glad you love it so much. *gives Iariel membership card* You are now an official member of JAMS! Happy stalking! ;)
Everyone else who reviewed: I LOVE YOU ALL!!! *cries*
Also, thanks to everyone who offered me some ideas!! And many, many, MANY thanks to the wonderful Lolly for the ideas that she suggested!!! *hails the great Lolly*
~*~*~*~
(Still Lauren POV)
I slept like a log for about two hours, until I heard someone knocking on the door. I got out of the big bed with a groan and dragged myself over to it.
"Whaddya want?" I asked the person's knees tiredly. I looked up and saw Legolas' face looking down at me.
"Hello, Mary-sue," he said slightly drunkenly. "I found this in my bedroom." I looked at what he carried in his arms, and groaned. It was none other than my best friend Laura, who appeared to be either unconscious or asleep. Or both. God, she's an idiot.
"Jesus... um, just put her in the bed, I guess." I waved my arms dismissively into the room. Legolas walked past me and gently put Laura down on the bed, but didn't leave. Errrghhh...
"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" he asked.
"Meh..." I shrugged.
"'Tis a pity. The Faradome is always one of the most enjoyable holidays of the year," he said thoughtfully.
"Why, 'cause of all the wine?" I asked sweetly. He looked from me to Laura's form lying on the bed.
"One would think so, would they not?" he asked with a smile. He walked over to me and patted my head, much to my annoyance. "Sweet dreams, little friend," he said, and sort of wobbled out of the room. I grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair and threw myself onto the little couch that was near the fireplace. I hope I never come to Middle-Earth again.
~*~
The next morning I woke up and hopped off the couch, feeling thoroughly refreshed. I had had a wonderful snoggy dream involving myself and a certain hot ranger dude. I went over to the bathroom and took a nice hot bath, then got dressed and went back into Laura's room. She was lying on her stomach, her face buried in her pillow and snoring slightly.
I sighed and walked over to the bed, which I proceeded to leap on to. "WAKEY WAKEY, ELFY GIRL!!!" I shouted as I bounced around on the mattress. She shrieked and fell to the floor with a very loud thunk. "Teehee," I giggled, and jumped off the bed and onto the floor next to her. "Didja sleep good?" I asked. She scowled up at me.
"Fine, until you woke me up like that. Jeeze, my head hurts. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much wine... Which reminds me, I don't remember anything from dinner onwards about last night."
"Um, yeah, I would say that too," I murmured. She looked at me questioningly.
"What do you mean?" she asked, sounding a big scared. I told her what had happened the night before, and how she had wandered into Legolas' room.
"Hold up. I kissed someone?" she asked with wide eyes. I nodded. "Well, who was it, you little fruit!?" she screeched.
"I dunno. I couldn't see his face." She buried her face in her hands, then looked up at me again.
"Was it Legolas?" she whispered with wide eyes.
"I'm sure it wasn't," I said.
"Positive?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely positive?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely positively positive?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely posi-"
"Shut up Laura."
"Mmmk," she mumbled. Then she threw herself back onto the bed, and within seconds she was snoring again. I blinked. How she managed to do that, I have no idea. I shrugged and walked out the door, ready to do some exploring.
As I walked down the hallway, I hummed the "Backpack" song from Dora the Explorer. "Backpack! Backpack!" I sang happily. As I turned a corner, I heard some voices. Oooh, time for some eavesdropping! I crept nearer to the voices, and soon saw who they belonged to. It turns out it was Larien and a few of her bestest cleaning pals. Hrm, I wonder what they're talking about? Maybe a new toilet bowl cleaner, I thought. Except they don't have toilets here... but anyway...
"The festival last night was absolutely spectacular, was it not?" one of the maids in a purple dress said.
"Indeed. Did you notice how lovely everyone looked? Especially that one maiden. You know, the one that is friends with Prince Legolas?" another said. Everyone nodded. Yeah, they're talking about Laura!
"Oh, yes. Lothuviel. She is very kind," the first one replied.
Larien sort of looked a bit miffed when this comment was made. "But, did you see how she was practically throwing herself at Legolas during dinner?" she hissed. They all nodded again, this time with smirks on their faces. Uh-oh.
"And did you hear what happened after dinner?" another whispered. A couple of the elves shook their heads and leaned in closer. "Well, she went on a 'walk' with King Thranduil. Apparently they kissed!" My eyes widened. And my jaw dropped.
THRANDUIL!?!?!?!!?
EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
The women gasped, and Larien smirked again. "Is that not the most awful thing ever? Apparently, Trelan is courting her!"
"He is?"
"Yes. Do you know, I think Lothuviel must be the most dreadful minx in all of Mirkwood. No woman has been with the king since I can remember," Larien said snobbishly. Oh, she is going down!!!
I sprinted around the corner and ran right into her on purpose. She fell with an "Oof!" as her butt hit the floor. I grinned at her face, which was now level with mine. "Oh, I'm sooooo sorry, Larien. (cough cough) Didn't see you there." I turned to the other maids. "You all can clear off now. Me and Slavey Girl need to have a bit of a chit-chat." They all looked at each other, then turned and walked away. I spun back around and glared at Larien. "So, you think my best friend's a minx, eh? I wonder what Legolas would think if he found out about that lil' comment..."
"You wouldn't dare!" she said, obviously seething.
"Oh, but I would. I guess there's not gonna be any more flirting between you and your lust object anymore..." I turned around and started to walk away.
"Wait!" she cried. I grinned and looked back at her.
"What?"
"I shall stop speaking of Lothuviel if you will promise not to tell Legolas about this... this discussion."
"Hrm... maybeh... no." I ran away as fast as I could, leaving her there screaming curses at me. Mwahahahahaa!! Now time to find Laura...
~Laura POV~
Later that morning, I woke up with a humongous headache. "Ergh. I promise that I'll never drink that wine again if you make this headache go away, God," I said.
Five minutes later, I was still in hangover mode. So much for the Big Man in the sky. I think I'll become a Buddist starting as soon as I get back to Earth.
Which is hopefully never.
I groaned and fell out of bed, then dragged myself over to the wardrobe after noticing that I was still wearing my dress from last night. I dug through all the clothes and pulled out a cool little shirt tunic thing that had a tie-up top, sort of like a pirate shirt. It was very cool. Then I slipped on some leggings and put up my lace-up boots, and wrote a quick note to leave on my desk:
Dear Lauren aka Lulu,
I have gone out for a ride in the woods ALONE. I swear. My head was hurting like a mother when I woke up, and I think that maybe fresh air can treat hangovers. If I'm not back by dinnertime, then I'm either:
A: Dead,
B: Unconscious, or
C: On my way back and I got lost so please send SOMEONE (cough cough) to come rescue me.
Toodles, mon petite nincompoop!!
~Lothuviel
"Good enough for me," I said out loud as I put the quill back into the little inkbottle. I grabbed my little dagger, then left the palace and walked into the woods.
"PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!!!" I called. Soon I heard the cantering footsteps of my faithful steed, Erregroth. Woo! "Greetings, young spoon," I said as he stopped next to me. He just kind of gave me a weird look and shook his head. I scrambled up onto his back and turned him in towards the deeper part of the forest, where all the fun stuff happens. I kicked his ribs and we galloped into the trees. In less than a minute the palace was out of sight.
After an hour or so, though, it was apparent that Erregroth was not in the mood for a little joyride. After about five minutes of angry whinnying, I found myself on the ground, watching his butt fade into the distance. "YEAH, WELL I HATE YOU TOO!!!" I screamed after him. I looked up at the sky and noticed that it was very, very cloudy. Oh great...
~Five minutes later~
Okay, it's official. God hates me. Maybe I don't pray enough, but is it really necessary to send such a violent storm down on me while I'm in the middle of a strange forest with no shelter, food, or method of transportation? The answer is no, it's not.
Run, run, stumble, trip, fall, run, skid, must find shelter... AHA!!! I found a small cave and quickly dived into it to get out of the pouring rain.
Brrr, it was coooold. The entrance to the cave was fairly small, but inside there was enough room that you could fit about ten people or so comfortably. Any sensible person would have noticed that there was a fresh fire pit made in the center, but, being the idiot that I am, I thought it was something else. I'm not exactly sure what, but I definitely didn't think of a fire pit.
I was probably in the cave for nearly an hour. By that time, it was almost dark, and the temperature had fallen quite a bit. Oh wonderful. Now I'm going to freeze to death. Just as I was about to fall asleep curled up in a ball on the cave floor, I heard voices outside the cave. Yay, my love has come to rescue me! I thought ecstatically.
Oh, how wrong I was.
~*~*~*~
*runs through the streets yelling* IT'S HERE!!! IT'S HERE!!! THE UPDATE IS FINALLY HERE!!! Yes, I know it sucked. But hey, a sucky update is better than no update, right?
*crickets*
Meanies... Hehehe, I have to agree with all of you on one thing: Legolas on the drums would be very hot. LOL!!
Much lurve and Leggy,
~*!Laura!*~