Responses to my reviewers whom I love more than life itself (in a completely non-disgusting way!!)
Crystyna: LOL! Chill out. He kissed my hand. (Woo!) But that's all. Oh, and speaking of Elladan and Elrohir (The twin Gods of Hotness): They will be appearing later on!! HUZZAH!! Oh, and I think you will be excited when you see this chapter. Read to find out! ;)
Sugaricing: My dear muffin? LOL! Yay! I am a random breakfast food! *does a happy dance* Hehe. Yes, yes, he kissed my hand. But why is that such a big deal? People did that all the time... although we are talking about Legolas, which is a completely different story...
TwinkieFreak: Hehehe, yes, I tend to get pissed off when people spy on me. Like Lenwe. Now if only I could do something evil to him... *cackles*
Silverviolinist16/Amadeus16: Glad you like it so much!
Ainu Laire: I'm glad you like my writing. I's so happy now! *hugs self* Oh, and sorry about the whole AH-nold Schwazenneger thing. I understand now, thanks to you! ^__^
GoddessofDreams03: One of the best fics you have read? Wow, thanks! Although I am sure that there are PLENTY of stories better than this on the site. But thanks again!
Legolassdiosa/Aboo: Hehehe, I was wondering if you would catch that thing from camp! Yay Camp Barbee! LOL, and remember how I looked up what your Elvish name was on that name generator? *giggles* I just realized that your first name would be Larien!! HAHAHA!! *snorts* Sorry, I just found that way too funny!
Lolly: LOL! Enough junk in his trunk... hahahaha. YES! It was Lenwe, the evil little stalker jerk! No one stalks me and gets away with it! (Believe me, there are a couple of freak-o-fanatics that have experience.) *cackles* Woo, hotty elf twins shall appear in the next few chapters! *does a happy dance* Yay! Hehe, Larien went down! Huzzah! Oh, and did you know your author name is in a song? It's from School House Rock! "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly! Get your adverbs here!" LMAO.
SilverLady04: Yeah! I whooped her good, too, yo! I think Lenwe is incapable of taking a hint. Guess I'm gonna hafta kick his butt, too! Hehe, yeah, I liked that last bit, too. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one!
~*~*~*~
I watched with my mouth hanging open as Legolas walked away nonchalantly. I could not believe this! He had been spying on me!
In a way, I was happy. I mean, if he was watching me, then it obviously showed that he was interested in me; if not in a loving way, then a friendly way. But then I was also really pissed off. How dare he follow me when I was trying to be alone!
I growled and started to walk away. "Wait!" Tarandur called. I sighed and looked back at him. "Would you like to have a sword fighting lesson?" he asked. I meant to say "no", but it came out as, "I would love to." Shut up, you stupid mouth, shut up!
"Wonderful!" Tarandur exclaimed. Then he started explaining all the things I had done wrong when I was fighting him and Legolas.
Half a century later, he finally shut up and let me go. I sprinted away towards the palace, ready to chew out Legolas. I ran through the entry gate and up into the main hall, where there were dozens of elves standing around talking (as usual). I found Trelan and ran over to him.
"Where is he!?" I growled. Trelan gave me a bemused look.
"Who are you looking for?"
"Legolas!"
"Oh. You have just missed him. He is out taking a walk in the woods." Damn!! I growled and started to turn to go back outside. "Lothuviel, wait. You are injured." He pointed to my leg where that bitch Larien had swiped me with her sword.
"Oh, 'tis not that bad. I can get it fixed later," I said.
"No, you do not want it to get infected. Come, I'll clean if for you." He took my hand and led me down the hall a bit. All the elves ogled at us, and I just ogled back. What's wrong with getting a wound cleaned by your "wooer"?
Trelan opened a door and led me inside the room. It looked like a storage room. There were lots of cabinets and those little grinding thingys that doctors used to use to chop up medicine in the old days. He motioned for me to sit down on a wooden chair in one of the corners, then opened one of the cabinets and took out a bottle and some bandages.
"So, what exactly happened?" he said as he started cleaning the cut. I cringed as he poured on some of the ointment, and explained how I had been practicing sword fighting and dueled with Larien. He nodded and started wrapping the gauze around my leg.
"There we go," he said a few minutes later. He stood up and patted my knee. "That should make it feel better. Why don't you go change your clothes and rest for a while? It sounds like you have had a very busy morning."
"I think I shall," I replied and stood up. Trelan was nice enough to walk me back to my room. I gave him a hug, then went into my room and closed the door. Lauren was there waiting for me.
"Where have you been?" she asked.
"I was down at the archery range sword fighting," I told her.
"You? Sword fighting? Ha!" she replied.
"FYI, Mary-sue, I kicked Larien's snooty little ass," I said.
"Oooh, tell me, tell me!" she squealed. I told her about the duels I had fought, and she seemed pretty impressed. "You knocked your lover elf down?" she asked. I nodded. "You're so dumb," she muttered as she walked out of the room. I sighed and locked the door behind her, then went over to the wardrobe for the second time that day. I picked out some leggings and a tunic that were very similar to the ones that Legolas wears during the War of the Ring. Then I grabbed an apple out of the fruit basket on my dresser and went out onto the balcony. I quickly ate the apple, then climbed over the railing and leapt onto the tree that was a few feet away and shimmied slowly down it. Well, I sort of fell the last twenty feet, but fortunately my huge butt helped cushion my fall. I stood up, rubbed my ass for a second, then ran into the woods to look for Legolas. He was so going down.
I slowed to a walk after about a mile. Mind you, although I was in an elf body, I sure as hell wasn't as fit as a real elf. I stopped and sat on a tree stump to catch my breath. Woo. I'm not gonna do that again for a while. Suddenly I heard some leaves rustling behind me. It sounded like footsteps. Ohgodohgod. I had forgotten my sword! CrapcrapCRAP!! I picked up biggest stick I could find and wielded it threateningly. "That had better be you, Legolas!" I called. The rustling stopped, then started again, this time closer. I bit my lip and backed up a step, but ran into something soft. I screamed, spun around, and whacked the person with the stick upside the head. They fell to the ground with an "Oof!" and lay there without making a sound. I looked down to see who it was, and immediately recognized that it was Lenwe by the brown hair. Jesus Christ, does he ever stop stalking me!? I thought exasperatedly. I poked him in the stomach with the stick, but he didn't move. Huh. He must be unconscious. I shrugged and walked away, leaving him there. If I'm lucky a bear or something will find him and eat him.
I kept walking down the barely-visible path through the woods, stopping every so often to make sure Lenwe hadn't woken up and followed me. The farther into the forest I went, the scarier it became. There was long mossy stuff hanging from the trees, and there was a bit of a misty glow to everything. It was quite creepy. I jumped every time I accidentally stepped on a twig.
"Okay, you know what?" I said out loud. "Enough of this. Legolas can find himself. I'm going home." I turned around and sprinted back the way I came, and didn't stop until the forest looked normal again.
I sighed as the palace came into view. I guess there wouldn't be any more adventure for me today. I walked into the courtyard and quite literally ran into Legolas.
"Lothuviel!" he said happily. His smile turned to a frown when he saw my death glare. "What ever is the matter?"
"Oh, I do not know, Legolas. Perhaps it would be the fact that you were SPYING ON ME!!" I shrieked. Everyone else that was in the courtyard became silent and stared at us. Legolas gave them an apologetic look, then turned to me. "Maybe we should speak about this somewhere private," he said quietly.
"Fine," I huffed. He walked back out towards the woods, and I followed him. Once we were about two hundred yards from the palace, he stopped and looked at me.
"Lothuviel, I apologize for following you," he said quietly. I forced myself not to melt under his apologetic expression. "It was wrong of me."
"Then why did you do it?" I asked angrily.
"I did it to make sure that you would not be injured or get lost," he explained.
It's really hard to stay mad at someone who is as hot as he is.
"I understand, and I thank you for your care. But it was not necessary," I told him. Damn him and his elvishly good sexiness!
"I am glad you are no longer upset with me. How is your leg feeling?" he asked.
I looked up at him, shocked. "You saw that?"
He nodded. "Larien should not have cut you that badly. It was not a fair move."
I shrugged. "It is feeling better anyways. Trelan cleaned it and put a bandage on it for meeeEEEEEEK!!!!!"
"What is it?!" Legolas shouted over my wailing.
"Spider! SPIDER!!!" I screamed, pointing behind him. He whirled around and immediately fit an arrow to his bowstring, frantically looking around. "Where?! I do not see it!"
"HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT!? IT'S HUGE!!!" I screeched.
"Where!?"
"AIIEEEEEEE, IT'S BY YOUR HEAD!!!" He ducked and aimed his arrow up, then lowered it.
"Lothuviel, it is nothing but a little wolf spider-" he tried to explain.
"KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!"
"It is quite harmless, I assure you."
"KILL IT!!!"
"It is not even the size of an arrow head-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF THE VALAR, LEGOLAS, JUST KILL THE DAMNED SPIDER!!!!" He sighed and swatted it to the ground, then stomped on it. "Is it dead?" I whimpered.
"Yes."
"You sure?" He picked up his foot, revealing the remains of the spider.
"I am pretty sure," he said with a smile. I let out a sigh of relief. We started walking back towards the palace.
"I had no idea you were so afraid of spiders, milady," he said with a grin.
"Shut up, Legolas."
~*~*~*~
The next few weeks flew by faster than flying asparagus. Legolas was nice enough to get me a new maid. Her name was Morharmaiel. She had brown hair and green eyes... and great fashion sense. She was incredibly cool. Oh yes, and she was completely ga-ga for Legolas (who isn't?) We became great friends over the next three months. One of our favorite things to do was stalk Legolas.
One day the three of us (Lauren, Morharmaiel, and I) were sitting on a bench in the gardens. By now it was late fall, and the leaves in the forest had turned from bright green to orange, yellow, brown, and red. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I found myself spending even more time outside than usual.
Anyways, we were sitting outside in the gardens one day, talking about make-up. (I guess elves and humans aren't that different.) Lauren was playing with one of those fuzzy caterpillars that come out in the fall. (A/N: In Indiana we call them wooly bears. I don't know what other people call them. They're brown and black usually. They are SO cute!) Suddenly she started coughing her lungs out. Morharmaiel and I stood up and ran over to her. "Does anyone know the Heimlich!?" I shouted. Morharmaiel stared at me like I was insane, then started whacking Lauren on the back.
"Are you all right, Mary-sue?" she asked. Lauren managed to stop coughing long enough to shake her head 'no'. "We should take her up to her room," said. I nodded and picked up the still-hacking Lauren. We walked up to her room, and I set her on the bed.
"I *cough* wanna go *cough hack wheeze cough cough* to her room," Lauren said as she pointed at me. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Why?"
"'Cause *cough cough lung is coming out* your bed is *cough* bigger."
"Yes, and then I will get sick and..." Crap. Elves can't get sick. Damnation. "I mean, of course you can sleep in my room, Mary-sue darling. I would LOVE that," I said through clenched teeth. And once you are asleep I will slowly and painfully strangle the life out of you, you little moron.
So I picked her back up and we trudged up to my room, where I laid her in my bed and covered her up with my sheets. Morharmaiel put a hand on Lauren's forehead and quickly pulled it away. "My goodness!" she exclaimed. "You feel like you are on fire, Mary-sue! I will go get one of the healers." With that she rushed out of the room. I looked down at Lauren and glared at her.
"You had better not be faking this, you know," I said angrily. She looked up at me with tired eyes.
"How *cough* can I fake having a fever?" she asked in a croaky voice. Crap, she's got me there.
"You... uh... put a really hot heat pad on your forehead and left it there for a while?" I said hopefully. She scowled at me, and we sat in silence for the next few minutes. I heard the door open suddenly behind us, and I turned around as a woman in a white dress walked quickly into the room with Morharmaiel following her.
"What seems to be the matter?" she asked as she shoved me out of the way. Grrr.
"I *cough cough* dun feel good," Lauren croaked. I must start calling her Frog Girl.
"Well, obviously," the elf said with sarcasm. I wrinkled my nose. What a witch. The elf (who's name was Tári) quickly examined Lauren's throat, nose, and ears, then pulled some bottles out of the bag she was carrying. "Open your mouth," she said. Lauren did so, and Tári poured some brown liquid down her throat. Lulu started spluttering and gagging, then calmed down a bit. Within minutes she was fast asleep and drooling all over the pillow.
"That should keep her asleep until tomorrow. I am very busy right now, and will have to deal with her then." Tari turned and strode quickly out the door, leaving me with Morharmaiel.
"What do we do now?" I asked. She shrugged.
"I am going to go see if I can find Legolas. I guess you are stuck here. Fare well!" she called as she sprinted out the door. I glared after her and threw myself into one of the armchairs in my room. How selfish of Lauren to go get sick right when Legolas might be showing a tad bit of interest in me.
I must get her back.
~The next day...~
"Laaaaaura," Lauren called. I looked up from my book with a scowl.
"What?"
"Will you read *hack* a story to me?" she asked.
"No."
"Pleeeee- *cough* eeease?" she begged. I slammed my book shut and stomped over to her bed.
"Alright, Lauren," I said in a fake sweet voice. "Once upon a time there was a gorgeous fifteen year old girl named Laura. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire universe and everyone thought she was cool and sweet and nice. Oh, and all the hot men in the world thought she was purdyful. One day her annoying little friend named Lauren came over to her house to watch "Lord of the Rings" with her. Suddenly, Laura got zapped to Middle-earth. There she met the hottest guy of all hotness, named Legolas. He was instantly stunned by her gorgeousosity, and fell madly in love with her. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't show his love for her for reasons unknown. Anyways, a few months later, Lauren popped up out of nowhere and, in a fit of selfishness, decided to become sick and completely ruin Laura's chances with Legolas. So Laura, naturally, became very pissed, and one night-" I paused as the door opened. I looked behind me and saw Legolas. I quickly turned back to Lauren.
"And so the beautiful elf named Lauren and the handsome ranger lived happilyeverafterTheEnd. Oh, hello Legolas. How are you this lovely morning?" I crooned.
"I am well, thank you. How are you feeling, Mary-sue?" he said, completely forgetting about me. I watched with my mouth and eyes wide open as they started having a conversation together. I am going to SLAP Lauren once he leaves!!!! my mind shrieked.
"Where are you going, Lothuviel?" Legolas asked as I stomped towards the door.
"To get some soup for dear Mary-sue," I said, all sticky sweetness. To pour on her stupid little HEAD!!! I added mentally. Lauren smirked behind Legolas' back as he smiled.
"You are a good friend," he said. I grinned triumphantly at Lulu before walking out the door.
I slunk down the hallways towards the kitchen, hoping there was some form of elvish instant soup. There probably isn't, I thought tragically. Just my luck. Maybe they have some Easy Mac stashed away somewhere...
To get to the kitchen I had to go past the big entrance hallway. I heard voices coming from inside, so I paused mid-step to see who it was.
What I saw made my heart stop.
~*~*~*~
DundunDUN!!! What did I see? *cackles* I love cliffhangers... but only if I write them. Hehehe. So be thinkin' about who... or what... it may be. See ya next time!
Much lurve and Leggy,
~*!Laura!*~