Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The characters belong to GH and the song "How Far" belongs to Martina McBride

Summary: Just a short song ficlet set somewhere around the time that Jason breaks up with Courtney so she'll leave town. Let's say right after the February 25, 2003 episode, which is the one right after the cabin incident.

How Far:

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

The cool ocean breeze swirled around Courtney. The docks were a dangerous place at night, but she would gladly risk her life if it brought peace to her restless mind. All you got to do is go to college and you can open all kinds of doors for yourself. Jason's words rang in her head and maybe he was right. Maybe she should leave town, at least it would be easier than having to see him everyday. She could move away and start over, without ever having to look back. Easier said than done, however. Even if she left and never returned, her heart would remain here with him. Sonny keeps saying that she's too young to feel this way, but he's wrong. Every girl has one true love and hers' just walked out and it hurt like hell.

There was a time when she would have never even considered leaving town, but tonight was testing her. Would anyone even notice her absence? Carly maybe, but she would soon be swept up in her pregnancy and no longer have time to worry. Sonny? He would probably throw himself a congratulatory party for finally succeeding in breaking his little sister's heart. Jason might mourn for a few days, but then convince himself it was for the best and move on.

She looked upwards to the starry night sky that was overlooking Port Charles. It brought a sad smile to her face; Jason always did love the stars. He really wasn't as cold as everyone made him out to be. Sure, he was the enforcer, but underneath his tough exterior was a heart of gold that was kept well hidden. She had caught a glimpse of it, though, and it just made her fall deeper in love. Her gaze soon fell downward to her feet trying to convince herself to walk away, but for some reason her legs refused to move. It was then that she noticed his presence.

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end

I won't come back for you again. I'm done. The words were burned into her memory. She shouldn't have been surprised that he gave up so easily, but she was. Their relationship was supposed to be able to withstand anything, but the second that they were faced with an obstacle, he walked away. He can say it's for her protection all he wants, but she doesn't buy it. He's scared… Jason "the enforcer" Morgan is afraid and she knows it.

"Go away," Courtney whispered to him. He stood a few feet to her left, like a statue. No words had passed between the two until Courtney had finally worked up the anger to address him. She wanted to yell and scream at him. Who the hell does he think he is? Invading her thinking space after all they had gone through today. Jason didn't respond, instead continued to stare straight ahead. He was shutting her out and she knew it. "You're a real asshole, you know that?" Her hurt and annoyance were beginning to win out. The comment worked though, because it forced him to pay attention to the young blonde at his side. "Why are you even here?"

"You shouldn't be wandering around by yourself at night," was the response as took a seat on the nearby bench. A chill ran up his spine from the cool night air and also the death glare he was now receiving from Courtney.

"Why? We broke up…Sonny can't blame you if something happens to me anymore." She was seething. Her emotions were swirling and there was no longer any way to contain them. "How could you do this to me?" Her voice broke with pain, but he refused to acknowledge it. "Why can't you for once stand up to him?"

"This has nothing to do with Sonny."

"Bullshit!" She shouted.

"It's for your own protection. My life is very dangerous." His tone was monotonous as he masked his own emotions.

"That's Sonny talking, because we both know that as long as I'm with you, I'll be safe." Courtney's voice was peppered with assurance.

"Just let it go, Courtney. Sometimes things are meant to be." He whispered in defeat. The comment caught her off guard; she had expected him to continue the argument, but instead he threw his hands up in surrender.

"You're so jaded," she muttered.

"Life isn't a movie, Courtney. Good guys die, not everything has a happy ending, and true love does not conquer all." He replied cynically and the young woman just shook her head in rebuttal. He was retreating into his shell again and she wasn't sure how to stop it.

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

"How many more people are you going to push away before you realize that you're only hurting yourself?" Her question broke the silence that had engulfed the couple for the past few minutes. Neither one had moved from the respective positions, both not wanting to be the first to walk away.

"It's for the best…" was his answer which caused further annoyance to his companion.

"Is that your excuse for everything? Because I got to admit, it's starting to get old." Courtney replied. She wanted for him to spar back, but he didn't. How could one man be so frustrating? "How long are we going to do this? You tell that you don't want anything to do with me, but yet here you are. I'm not going to keep throwing myself at you feet. I can't do it anymore, Jase. I love you, but I don't think that it's enough. I'll never ask you to choose, but you got to give me something to assure that I won't always come second best to my brother."

"I just don't want you out here by yourself," he whispered, but she didn't buy it. As much as it hurt, he wanted to be near her just like she wanted to be near him. Why was their relationship such a constant struggle? Sonny and Carly were playing a never-ending game of tug of war with their feelings, because she and Jason allowed it. It was difficult to know that your brother was more invested in your relationship than your boyfriend.

"Do you love me?" Her voice was shaky and she wasn't even sure why the question popped out of her mouth.

"You know I do."

"Prove it…" she squeaked out as she began to walk away.

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

She made it all the way back to the loft without sparing a glance behind her to see if he was there. She allowed herself one momentary look down the hallway before she unlocked the door and was disappointed not to see him. Letting out a sigh, she entered the loft, shutting the door as she slid down on her bottom in the entranceway. A few tears slid down her face as she quickly swiped them away. The blonde was sick of crying over him. It's was like crying over spilt milk, because she had no ability to change his actions. No matter how many wishes were made…Jason Morgan was Jason Morgan and nothing was going to change that, not even her.

"What took you so long?" His voice rang through the darkness. She searched the dim apartment to find him sitting on the couch with a cocky grin on her face.

"You came…" she let the shock wash over her.

"Don't ever doubt my feelings for you." She nodded pushing herself up off the floor and taking a seat next to him. He placed a tentative arm around her shoulders and she relaxed against his touch. All the drama that had taken place during the day was forgotten as he kissed the crown of her head. These were the moments that she appreciated the most, when it was just her and Jason in their own separate world. There was no Sonny, no mob, and no Carly pulling them in different directions, but this dream could only last so long. It was a harsh reality, but a necessary one for her to understand. All the quiet times in the loft were never going to amount to all the fighting. The muffled ring of his cell phone caught both of their attentions. And so it began…

"Yeah?" He answered once he pulled the noisy object out of his coat pocket. She could make out Sonny's stifled voice and quickly removed herself away from Jason. He looked at her apologetically, but she shook her head taking a seat in the chair across the room. "Can't this wait, Sonny?" She heard more muffled yelling and Jason inevitably giving in. He flipped his phone down in annoyance.

"You should be going…wouldn't want to keep your boss waiting." She said a hint of malice and disgust laced her voice. He nodded, but did not get up from his seat. He knew if he left that would be the nail in the coffin that was his relationship. It would mean that he was choosing Sonny over her and there was no coming back from that.

"You know what?" Courtney's voice was shriller than she intended. "I'll leave."


Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are

"Where are you going?" He asked in confusion. She was up from her seat and packing her stuff up like a mad woman.

"Why do you care?" She shot back while throwing a few more things into the bag that she was using in place of a suitcase. He didn't answer, but continued watching her. There was a fire in her eyes that he had never seen before. It was a mixture of anger and passion that clouded her baby blues.

"Can you calm down for a minute and talk to me?" He asked.

"There's nothing to say," she muttered. "Sonny is always going to come before me and I was naïve to think that it was ever going to change."

"It's not just Sonny that's the problem." He tried. "Your safety was put in jeopardy yesterday because of me."

"Yeah, yeah and "you don't want to be the reason I die." Save it, Jason." She let out a huff of air in annoyance as she crossed the living room and headed for the exit, overflowing bag in hand.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" He asked softly.

"You are the one that's making things difficult. All I want is to be with you and I don't understand why everyone is dead set against it." Courtney replied turning to face him one last time.

"I want that too, but things are just very complicated right now." She thought that maybe she heard a touch of pleading in his response, but decided to ignore. She couldn't do it anymore. One minute they were happy and then in the next moment they were breaking up. It was disastrous and not how they were supposed to end. Deep down in her heart she always thought they would pull through. The bond they created was supposed to be stronger than her brother's disapproval, her ex husband's jealousy, and Jason's own insecurities, but maybe it wasn't.

"Let me uncomplicate things for you," she had her hand on the doorknob and one foot out in the hallway. "When you figure what you want, come find me." Was the last thing she said before the slamming the door shut.

So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
Yeah I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far