Hello, my lil' Loony Toons! Here are some review responses:
Jenny: Of course there is more! And here it is! :D
KTB: Yup. Trelan is a phsycho. Dur. Hehe. Congrats on getting' your job at the zoo, Kiddles! ;)
The Solitary Rose: Dude, I'm just thinkin' about doing a parody of a serious fic, just to see how badly I would kill it. And it would be a gruesome death, lemme tell ya. :D Yup, so Trelan's a rapist and Larien's a bitch. Well, we already knew about the bitchiness, but who woulda thunk that Trelan raped people? Yarg.
Lolly: Ooh, I like when Leggy has lots of hormones. naughty grin Yeah, Trelan's just too good to be true. In other words, he's a "chinga tu madre" elf. LMAO. Nice translation. :-P
Reisha: Hey guy(s)! Thanks for the "long annoyingly appreciative comment". LOL, I appreciate it. ;)
Rogue mystique: Oh I know, I am a genius. cough Yeah. Thanks for the review. Ooh, so you think I should kiss dear Leggy? Hmm. We'll just hafta see about that. ;)
KoalaBurr: YES!!! Georgia Nicolson rocks my socks!! Those have got to be some of the greatest books of all time!! So so so so funny. Anybob, thanks for the review! And thanks for the cookie! stuffs cookie in mouth
Cotume: Well, Trelan is a bad guy. LOL. Sorry to dissapoint ya. But this story is bound to have a lot more twists, I guarantee it. :)
Ainu Lote: laughs Glad ya like it. Ooh, I wanna be an honorary spleen fairy!! Please!?
Tsurai Ryu: Sorry for the long time between updates, but here it is! Yup, some Lego-mance-ness is always fun for me. Maybe I will make it a L.M. Hmm…
Tuna: Yup. If elvish rapists didn't exist… well, they do now. :D Anybob. I'll help with TGOO anytime ya want. Luv ya dahlin! ;)
Elrohir Lover: Yeah, Larien got a baseball bat to the skull! Woot! Hmm, mayhap I should introduce the great American past time to Middle earth. Mwahahah.
Rad: Yay! More Pixy Stix and Pop Rocks! catches in mouth Mmm. Anybob. Yup, interesting twists are always the bomb. More will be coming soon, I hope. :D
Horseluver13: Hmm. So ya think it should be a Legomance? I'll hafta think about it, but I sure hope it will be! :D
Athena Diagon Cat: Yup. Trelan's a bad apple. He'll get beaten in the head with a mallet someday, preferably by moi. Hehe. Hmm. An elf from Rivendell, eh? Maybe E&E? licks lips Yum. Twins.
Lily the Bucklander: I wouldn't blame Arien if she killed herself. Dude, I sure would have. Hehe. Thanks for the review!
Fuji the Hobbit: Happy hobbits are fun to be with! :D Interesting twists are fun as well. :)
On another note: WOW! I have 312 reviews! :-O Thanks so much for supporting me, y'all! Love ya tons! Now onto the story.
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I looked up and down the long table of elves, chin in hand, drumming my fingers on the mahogany surface. I sighed. This was retarded.
Tha-tha-thunk. Tha-tha-thunk.
"Lothuviel, would you please de-SIST?" Thranduil said angrily from the head of the table. Morharmaiel put her hand over mine to make me stop drumming my nails. I leaned back at my chair and scowled.
"Why am I here?" I hissed to her. She shrugged. We were at some sort of meeting about the whole orcy-thing. I didn't really see how I was involved, though, since I had nothing to do with it. Thranduil had been talking for at least two hours, and I had been dragged out of bed at…what? Quarter to five in the morning? Because, you know, we wanted good seats.
"This guy rants more than a bitch with PMS," Lauren whispered. Yup, Lulu was there, too. I snickered, and everyone turned to look at me. Apparently they were not discussing a funny topic.
"So, Lothuviel, you find the fact that Trelan was almost killed amusing?" Thranduil scolded.
"Sorry," I muttered. I was this close to going up to him, kicking him in the balls and walking out of the room.
"Father, may I say something?" Legolas said. I yawned and looked out the window. The sun was just now coming up over the horizon. Not that I could see the horizon, mind you, because we were, after all, in a forest.
"Yes, Legolas?"
"Well…" Leggy began. I zoned out, my eyes half closed. I had no idea how all of the elves found this interesting.
I felt someone nudge my shoulder, and was brought back to reality by many elvish faces glaring at me. Morha had shoved me slightly.
"Lothuviel, if you cannot stay awake, then please leave," Thranduil growled. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged my shoulders.
"Very well," I muttered, and got up to walk out the door. There was scattered, disapproving murmurs from many people. I opened the door, turned around, waved, and left with a cute smile spread across my face.
After prancing about to a random place (i.e., the kitchen) and snagging a bit to eat (i.e., pretty much a gourmet breakfast of eggs, bacon, and some toast that I made myself on one of the stoves), I walked back towards my room to get another hour of shut-eye. But before I could get there, I ran into Legolas.
"Hello-oo-oh boy, what did I do?" He did not look too happy.
"My father was not serious when he said you may leave," he growled. I sighed.
"But I was so bored."
"Well, if you had stayed but five more minutes, it may have been more interesting." Damn him.
"What was interesting?"
"Everyone in that room, you and Morharmaiel included, was asked to join a raid to attack the orcs again." I felt my jaw drop.
"I can still go, can't I?" I pleaded.
"No."
"WHY?"
"Because you left the gathering."
"But- but…"
"No, Lothuviel. You will stay here and wait."
I growled. "That isn't fair."
"Perhaps, but you were not in the room, therefore-"
"But I was there BEFORE," I said a little louder.
"My father gave me strict orders to tell you that you were not allowed to go," he said even louder than I.
"Well, your 'father' is a moron!"
"How dare you call my father names!" he shouted.
"And he is a pedophile, and a whoremonger at that!"
Then it became a full-out war. Legolas started shouting about how I had done nothing but cause trouble (which OBVIOUSLY isn't true), and how I had acted completely immature and a whole bunch of other crap. I screamed that he was a stuck-up, snooty bag of hot air and that he was self-obsessed at that. Then he called me names that I shouldn't repeat because fangirls may kill me.
I was just about to throttle him when a guard came up and said, "My lord…"
"WHAT??" Legolas and I both yelled at the same time. The guard cringed, then leaned in to whisper something in Legolas' ear. Legolas nodded and started to follow him.
"Where are you going?" I asked, glaring at him.
"To prepare for the raid," he replied in a taunting tone of voice. I growled at him. This wasn't over.
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The elves were gone for the whole day, including Morha and all my other buddies. I was left to sulk around with Lauren. We had nothing to do, so in the end went back to my room and gossiped about all the elves.
Late that afternoon, just as the sun was disappearing behind the trees, everyone returned, causing quite a racket. Apparently they had won a fabulous victory, and Morharmaiel was a hero. She had killed an orc that had come within inches of killing Legolas.
As soon as all of the warriors had a chance to clean up, all of the elves in Mirkwood walked out to a big victory feast in a clearing in the woods. There were long, light wooden tables set up in the clearing, literally loaded with foods of all sorts. Morha had the "honor" of sitting next to Thranduil, on his left. Honor my ass. I was sitting next to her, with Elrohir to my right, and Legolas right across from me. We both spent the whole dinner glaring at each other. But later he came up and told me that he had no hard feelings; he was just a bit upset. I agreed, and decided that I would keep my distance from him that evening.
After everyone had eaten and Thranduil had given a speech, there was music and dancing. I, however, was too sour to be interested, and turned down all invitations to dance with all of the many hot elf hunks, even Elrohir. Morharmaiel, on the other hand, was having quite an evening. I watched in amazement as she consumed goblet after goblet of the strong elvish wine, and within an hour she was spectacularly drunk. It was really amusing, actually, until something strange happened.
After a nice little waltz had been played, the elves playing instruments struck up a lively tune. Morha's eyes lit up, and she immediately hopped on the table, giving everyone big, gorgeous grins. She proceeded to yell that she was "awesome," and then did a very drunken rendition of what seemed to be the "Macarena". Everyone was horrified, even me. This had gotten to the point where I was embarrassed for her. So I took the liberty of freeing her from the limelight.
I walked over slowly to the chair she was standing on, shaking her butt at the elves, and put my had on her arm.
"Morha, dear, perhaps it is time you went to bed…" I said slowly. She looked down at me with a confused expression, then twisted her face into a thoughtful look at the sky.
"Yes, bed," she slurred. "Bed time, beddy-bye, bed bye boo…" she trailed off. I helped her down from the chair and led her gently away from the group of people. However, before we left, she wanted to make one more announcement. She pulled herself away from me and stumbled up to Legolas.
"Leeegolasssh…" she hissed in his ear. "Leggyy… I just want ya to know…" Here she paused and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, accompanied by a hiccup. Legolas stared at her incredulously. "…that I love ya." With that she planted a rather sloppy kiss on his cheek, then wobbled back over to me. I attempted to pick my jaw up off of the floor, then dragged the poor drunken maiden away from the judgmental stares of the elves.
When we reached her room she flopped down on the bed, facedown, and started snoring into the pillow within seconds. I raised my eyebrows at her. This was one strange elf. I shook my head and headed back to my own room.
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I was awakened the next morning to the sounds of elven women walking down the hall chattering about last night's events. I squinted at the window and was surprised to see that it was early in the afternoon, probably around one o'clock. Then I remembered that Morha probably had a hangover and hadn't woken up yet, either. I climbed out of bed, took a quick bath, and put on a light blue dress. Then I walked down to Morharmaiel's room to check on her.
When I opened the door, the poor thing was still asleep, looking quite the worse for wear. I chuckled slightly and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Morha, darling, you need to wake up," I said softly. She groaned and turned over so that her back was to me. I prodded her again. "Morharmaiel, wake up. You should have something to eat." She rolled back over and looked at me. She looked terrible. Her eyes had dark circles under them, and her hair was tangled and had a couple leaves stuck in it. She was still wearing the same dress from last night, which had a couple red wine stains on it, and was very wrinkly. She blinked a couple times, then moaned and put her hand to her head.
"I feel like crap," she muttered. I stared at her. Since when did elves start saying "crap"?
"Well…why don't you go down to the kitchen? Or to the healers. I'm sure they will give you something to make you feel better." She blinked a couple of times and nodded.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that." She struggled to get herself out of bed, then stumbled out the door.
"I'll draw your bath and set out a dress for you," I called. I heard a muffled grunt in reply. As soon as she was gone, I set to work. Morha had been acting differently recently, and I wanted to find out if my suspicions were correct.
I started to dig through the desk that was in the corner. I found several books, all of them written in elvish. I tossed these onto the desktop and kept looking. It was not long until I found something unusual: a book that was written in English. Not Westron, English. I gazed at it. Slowly I went over to the bed, sat down, and opened the book in my lap and began to read.
April 21, 2003Oh my gosh, I can't believe it! I'm in Middle Earth!
It all started when I was reading my Return of the King book. I had just closed my eyes to go to sleep, when suddenly a bright light filled my bedroom, and I felt as though I was being sucked into the book. The last thing I saw were the posters of Orlando Bloom on my wall…
I gasped. This was incredible! I kept reading.
I landed in the middle of the woods, still in my pajamas. After a few hours, this really nice elf named Arien found me. She took me back to her home. Guess where she lives? Mirkwood, the same place as Legolas! I even got to meet him. He's so gorgeous…"What are you doing!?" someone shrieked. I whirled around and saw Morharmaiel standing in the doorway, looking horrified. "What-" I leapt to my feet and pointed accusingly.
"You're a Mary Sue!" I bellowed. She stared at me, then narrowed her eyes.
"And you are, too!"
Well damn, she had me there. We glared at each other for a few minutes, then simultaneously grinned.
"Friendling!" I cried.
"Buddy!" she squealed. We ran and hugged each other, as if we were meeting for the first time. "What's your name?" she asked excitedly.
"Laura. Your's?"
"I'm Nicole." We squealed and hugged each other again, then sat down and talked about how we had each gotten here.
"I never would have guessed you were a Mary Sue," I said, quite impressed. She giggled. "It was really kind of obvious that you were one, but I didn't want to say anything," she teased. She had a cute little Spanish accent.
"This is amazing. I can't believe there are other Mary Sues here," I said. She nodded. "Yes. There are three others: Abby, Katie, and Beth. They're so sweet. I will introduce you to them later. They'll be just thrilled that you're here!" she exclaimed. I grinned.
I suddenly had a whole new outlook on this adventure in Mirkwood.
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(claps excitedly) Yay for inspiration! I've got a whole lovely plan now! And I got it all by myself! (beams) Review, kids!
Lurve,
.:!Laura!:.