Oh my goodness, kiddies, I'm back. I know, I know, it's been like a billion years, but hey, better late than never, right?

crickets

…Riiiight?

Anyways, this idea came to me a few days ago when I was showering. Somehow showering makes me think better about my 'fics. Of course, now I've taken like four showers and my skin is dry, but it's all for you, people! Hurrah!

"Well, this sorta sucks," Beth said, picking straw out of her hair.

"Agreed," Katie muttered. "God, it smells like sewage down here."

"All of you be quiet," the elf guarding our cell snapped. "It is your own fault that you have been thrown into the dungeons, and you will have to pay the price for lying to the whole kingdom for the last year."

"Morharmaiel, I would have thought better of you," Legolas said with a disappointed frown.

"Lothuviel, how could you?" Trelan said, looking like he was about to cry. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and stepped away from the bars.

"Um. I…well… er…" I trailed off.

"Trelan, I ask that you and Perdil stay here with the prisoners," Legolas sneered, "while I go alert my father about recent events, and find the hobbit girl."

"Of course, my lord," the elf that had yelled at us said with a bow. "If they should try to escape, I shall make them regret it." He glanced at us from the corner of his eye.

"Thank you," Legolas said as he returned the bow. "I shall return in but a minute." He gave us one final glare and then started back up through the caves. We four girls sighed glumly at the exact same time and then plopped down onto the half-rotted straw that served as a bed in the cell. About thirty seconds later, the elf called Perdil turned around and grinned at us.

"Alright, so why did you four come here?" he said in an almost taunting manner. We stared at him.

"I beg your pardon, Perdil, I do not understand," Abby said as she tried to smooth her dress in vain.

"Oh cut the crap, ladies, I know you're not real elves," Perdil said. My jaw dropped.

"Huh?" I said, standing up and clutching the bars on the cell. The four others gathered around behind me, apparently a bit intimidated.

"Seriously, you didn't think that you were the only kids from Earth that came here?" he asked. Trelan was looking at me over his shoulder with a sneaky grin.

"Who are you?" Beth blurted out. The two of them straightened up, looking important.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Perdil said with a sweeping bow. "My name is Matt." I stared at him, my mouth still hanging open.

"You mean guys come to Middle Earth, too?" I asked.

"Of course. I mean, damn, Arwen is just too fine to let that snot Aragorn take her away. You all call yourselves Mary Sues, right?" We nodded. "Well, we men call ourselves Marty Sams."

"Are you freaking serious?" Katie said. "Why is Trelan acting okay with this, then?"

"Oh, that dweeb?" Matt said, rolling his eyes. "That's my little brother, Jon. He's rather fond of the ladies."

"Sorry, Lothy. When I saw you for the first time I said to myself, 'Damn, bitch, you is fine!'" Jon said. I gave him a dry look. "I mean… you looked very nice," he muttered.

"Jon is still at his 'awkward stage'," Matt said, doing the little quotes with his fingers. "He doesn't know how to treat a girl just yet. He's only thirteen after all."

"Shut up," Jon growled. All of a sudden Nicole squealed.

"I remember you!" she cried, pointing excitedly at Matt/Perdil. "You were the one that stalked me when I first got here!" Matt looked at the ground and murmured something about her looking like Arwen.

"HA! Moron, you screwed up just as bad as I did!" Jon shouted excitedly. His brother responded by slapping him upside the head. "Ow…"

"Waaait a second," Abby said, interrupting the moment of brotherly love. "Why were all the real elves so perplexed when we showed up, but they were okay with it when you suddenly appeared?"

"Excellent question, my dear Watson," Matt said.

"Hey, that's my last name!" Beth said angrily. Matt ignored her outburst and continued.

"You see, there's a couple of ways to get into different stories. You can either be made into a new character, like the four of you did, or you can actually temporarily switch places with the person in the story."

"Seriously?" Nicole said.

"Oh yeah. See, Perdil and Trelan were real elves before we got here. All we did was simply use a different method of getting here. So basically, right now they're stuck in Earth in our bodies, but they're still elves on the inside."

"Whoa, that's weird," Nicole muttered.

"Yeah. Jon got here before I did, so when he started talking strange I knew that he had come into Lord of the Rings. The real Trelan sort of freaked out when he found Jon's copy of the books in his bookshelf, and he was afraid of the computer. So I had to sit down and have a chitchat with him. He was alright after he got out of the coma."

"So what happened with the real Perdil?" I asked.

"Dunno. He's probably freaking out as much as Trelan did. They haven't been there that long, though. Middle Earth time goes faster than our time does. How long have you guys been here?"

"Well, they've been here more than a year," I said, gesturing to the others. "I got here about eight months ago, I'm guessing."

"Alright. So. Jon's been here about that amount of time I think, and he was only gone about two hours. So I'm guessing that you- what was your name again?"

"Laura," I said.

"Right. You've been gone about two hours as well, and you four have probably been missing about six hours. So it's all good. Just tell your parents when you get back that you were at a friend's house or something."

"What do you mean, when we get back? I'm not leaving," Katie said haughtily. "I'm not leaving until I get my Haldir."

"And I've only met Aragorn once, so I have to stay until I snag him," Beth explained.

"Uh, Legolas hates me, so he probably wouldn't be too sad if I left now," I muttered. The brothers sniggered. "Although Elladan and Elrohir don't seem to mind me much…"

"Oh boy, don't get involved with them," Jon warned. "There was another girl not too long ago, I think her name was Alex. She was trying to get Elrohir, and she had him until he turned around and just left her. There were rumors that they found her body in the middle of the forest hanging from a tree." He shuddered.

"Oh my god! Do you die on Earth if you die here?" I asked anxiously.

"Of course not. You just get sent home, and I don't think you can come back ever again," Matt said. "I'm not sure though. I've never died. Jon did, though."

"How did you get back then?" Nicole asked.

"Oh, it was a different story. I was in 'The Mask of Zorro.' Catherine Zeta-Jones is one hot mama," he said with a smirk.

"So what happened?"

"Well, I… um…"

Matt snickered. "He tried to kidnap her. Of course they found him and shot him through the face immediately."

"Shut up! I had a headache for a week," Jon complained.

"Wow. That's intense," Beth said.

"Dude, where's Legolas?" I asked. "He's been gone for like fifteen minutes."

"He's probably trying to find that hobbit girl," Jon said.

"Uh oh. She's my best friend. Will they do anything to her?"

"I don't know." Matt looked over his shoulder. "Crap, I hear them coming down the hall. Do any of you want to go back now?" he asked quickly.

Nicole bit her lip, then raised her hand. "I really don't have a reason to be here anymore," she said. "I mean, I originally wanted Legolas, but I don't really anymore. He doesn't like me much anyways."

"Alright, then come on out," Matt said, beckoning her.

"I can't get out unless you open the door," she said. He sighed.

"It's unlocked. You could have gotten out at any time."

"Oh." She pushed against the cell door slightly and it opened. She stepped out and stood in front of Jon.

"Okay, I promise you won't feel this too much. It'll just feel like heartburn or something," he said. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Here's my screen name," Matt said, handing her a slip of paper. "Message me when you get back. I'll probably be home within a few hours."

"Okay."

"Me too!" I said. "My screen name is Legolas Stalker." Nicole grinned.

"Awesome. Talk to you guys on the flip side." She saluted, and then Jon stabbed her. We screamed and cowered into the corner of the cell as she crumpled to the ground with a small groan.

"And if any of you try to escape, you shall get the same!" Jon said loudly as Legolas rounded the corner with his father following him. When they saw Nicole lying on the ground they both ran forward.

"What happened?" Thranduil asked. "What happened to Morharmaiel, Trelan?"

"My lord, this lady opened the door and tried to attack Perdil with his own knife. I did the only thing I could think of. I apologize." Jon/Trelan bowed down, looking slightly guilty.

"It is a shame that a woman that we trusted could turn on us in such a way," Thranduil said, shaking his head in disappointment. "However, she would have died eventually, I believe."

"Let the prisoners out of the cell, Perdil. We need to question them." Matt nodded and opened the cell door. We remaining four walked out silently and I made my decision. As we stood behind Legolas and his father, their backs to us, I looked at Matt and Jon over their shoulders.

"I'm going home now," I mouthed. Matt furrowed his brow, then nodded very slightly. I waved sadly at the other three, then pounced on Legolas.

"The glory of Mirkwood shall die!" I said dramatically. Okay, corny, but it was the only thing I could think of. I reached for Legolas' knife and caught a glimpse of the three girls trying very hard not to laugh at my dumbness. I purposely moved slowly so that Legolas would reach the knife before I did. I gasped slightly as a searing pain went through my chest, then fell to my knees. Immediately everything started to become blurry as though I was flying backwards rapidly away from everyone. Then I looked up at Legolas.

"I…I…always thought you were hot," I whispered. The last thing I saw was the extremely confused look on his face.

Yay! Time to go to a party. Huzzah! I'll update ASAP!

Laura