Simon

"Kaylee wants me?" Simon muttered to himself. He had been nervous around her since Early's attack on the ship, he couldn't help feeling like it was his fault, like he'd allowed her to be tormented, even though he knew rationally that he had done everything he could. He'd expected yelling, crying, hysterics, hatred, anything, been prepared to deal with them, but the way she tried to act as though everything was normal was almost worse. How could she not blame him, the only sane person on the ship not locked in or knocked out, for not rescuing her? How could he not blame himself for choosing her over his sister?

Before it happened, he'd felt as though they might be getting somewhere, as though there was the slightest of chances that he might not keep screwing everything up, he might be able to juggle helping River with healing the crew with having some sort of a social life that involved the most interesting girl he'd met in years—but it had happened, and there was no going back now. She could never trust him again, and he could never forgive himself. But he could never forgive himself if she were hurt and he didn't go, so he hurried out the door to head to her engine room, preoccupied with what could have happened— "Kaylee!"

He'd nearly run her over as she stood just outside the door of the infirmary. He grabber her shoulders to steady her, and then remembered how she must hate him now and let his hands fall, looking down and away.

"Dunno what she means, 'I want you', no call to go sayin' that, I'm right fit now, no need to go wantin' you at all, didn't mean to disturb you, you got important work to do in here, I'll just…" Kaylee babbled, backing away, looking panicked, before she turned and nearly ran down the corridor towards the crew quarters.

Simon sighed. She definitely hated him. Whatever there might have been, whatever he'd wanted there to be, it would never happen now. If only he'd taken a chance while there still were some, maybe they would have been able to work through this. His mind drifted, he thought about the last of those chances, and of what he should have done differently.

"Isn't there anything about this place…you're glad of?" Kaylee asked him, eyes hopeful. He paused, and looked at her, for just an instant really LOOKED at her, and realized she was the only thing that made Serenity bearable at first, was the only thing that made it home now. She half smiled, hopefully but expecting him to turn away from her, again, and the pain in her eyes hurt him more than anything else that had happened that evening. And for the first time, he let himself reach out, just that little bit, his hand raised to her cheek—and then he saw the Shepherd out of the corner of his eye, and his instinct was to pull away, just as he had always pulled away. But this time was different.

He brought his hand back to her cheek, damn the shepherd, damn them all, for just a moment of his life on this ship he was going to do something that he wanted, something for himself. "There's just one thing…" he said, as Book backed away to take another route, "there's just you." His eyes searching hers, he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. He kissed a path down her face, ending up at her mouth, where the kisses took fire. He pushed her back against the wall as she gasped his name, and slammed their bodies together. Her hands dug into his hair, tugging slightly, while she moaned and shuddered and tasted. His hands slid along her body, pulling her into him. His hips ground against hers, demonstrating beyond any doubt just how glad he was of her. "There's just you."

"Simon? You all right?" He started, as Shepherd Book looked knowingly at him. "Mal's looking for your sister, seems she promised to help with the dinner."

"I- I'll find her, th-thank you." Even in his daydreams they were interrupted, there was definitely no hope. He sighed and headed toward the cargo bay. As he entered, he heard River say "Be a good mouse" to Jayne, who sat on the floor, looking as confused as a man could.