Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Three:

Unable to Speak/Getting the Bug Out

Tas shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wishing that he wouldn't have gone back inside to get the cell phone after all. He glanced at the security camera in the corner of the small, dank, little windowless room, heaving a sigh. He was probably going to incarcerated. He had never been arrested before, for anything. Sure, he had been threatened for crimes that he hadn't committed, but people seemed to like to do that to kender. They just didn't understand his kind.

His head whirled around as the door flew open. The same stiff looking men in the suits and sunglasses entered the room, sitting down in the front of the table as the ugliest set down a thick looking file, beginning to flip through it.

"Do you always wear those sunglasses?" Tas couldn't help but ask. "Even when you're indoors? If I wore those glasses all the time, I'm afraid I couldn't see where I was going. I might run into the wall, or trip over someone's suitcase at the airport. I might even accidentally fall down a flight of stairs or"-

The freaky man interrupted, apparently not listening. "As you can see, we've had our eyes on you for some time now, Mr. Burrfoot. It seems that you've been living two lives." He looked back down at the file. "In one life you're Tasslehoff Burrfoot, telephone operator at the respectable Uth Matar software company. You have a social security number. You pay your taxes. And you...," he glanced back up at the kender, "help your landlady carry out her garbage."

Tas gulped. This guy seemed a little cryptic...

"The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias 'Tas'"-

"Tas isn't my alias," Tasslehoff interrupted. "It's my nickname. I like to go by 'Tas' instead of 'Tasslehoff'. I'm sure you know that I"-

"-and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future. And one of them does not." He closed the file. "I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can, Mr. Burrfoot. We're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual; a man who calls himself 'Morpheus'. Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive." He leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. "My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you. But I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice."

"Oooh, well, heheh." Tas shifted in his chair. "I want my phone call, actually. I think that maybe Dalamar could help me out of this situation, or I could get Kit and her Dark Queen to come down here and hit you all with bricks."

"Oh, Mr. Burrfoot. You disappoint me."

"I want my phone call," Tas repeated. "I know my rights!"

"Tell me, Mr. Burfoot..." He leaned forward. "What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?"

Tas cocked his head to the side in confusion. Was that a death threat? That's what it sounded like. He was just about to ask when he found he couldn't open his mouth. The flesh had merged together. He let out a yell (sort of), and put his hand over where his lips had used to be. This was so strange! He wondered what they had done. He had never experienced anything like this before. He would have to tell Flint all about this (if he ended up not being put in prison...).

The two other cronies- oops, I mean, men, lifted the poor little kender by his shoulders, flinging him onto the table. Tas struggled to sit up so he could examine his no-more-mouth better, but they pushed him back down.

Mr. Smith (we all know who he is, and the author is sick of having to call him the same thing over and over again) stood, pulling a small, tin case from his pocket. "You're going to help us, Mr. Burrfoot," he said as it popped open. "Whether you want to or not."

He held up a small, freaky, mechanical looking device, pushing a button on it somewhere. A mucus-like substance began to spread over it, and Tas noticed that it was wiggling back and forth. Arms and a head spread through the cover, creating the appearance of some kind of robotic lobster. Mr. Smith walked closer and closer, before holding it under Tas's left nostril and letting go... (duh duh DUH!)

(Space)

Tas started in bed, giving a yelp. He had been having the most terrible dream! He put one hand on his mouth. It was back. He sprang from his bed, running over to the bathroom, his footsteps drowned out by the falling rain. He gave a small glance around the room before scampering onto the stool he had placed under the sink, which was much too tall for him, and tilting his head far back, looking at the reflection in the mirror. He pulled the nostril wider with his fingers. Nope, no lobster-thingy there.

At that moment, he heard the phone trill. He sighed, looking down at his watch. 12:00 am. Really, people shouldn't call this late! Still, he didn't have an answering machine, so he hurried over.

"Hello, Tasslehoff Burrfoot speaking. But call me Tas."

"This line is tapped, so I must be brief."

"Oh, Morpheus!" Tas shrieked. "You won't believe what just happened to me! Or do you? Do you know what happened to me? Was it just a dream? Was it real?"

"Well, Tas, they got to you first, but they've underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you would probably be dead."

The phone slipped from Tas's hand as lightning flashed, shortly accompanied by thunder. He bent down to pick it up, holding it next to his ear once more. "What are you talking about? You're not talking about the orb incident, are you? Really, Morpheus, I didn't want to, I had to, they were going to keep arguing about it forever..."

"You are the One, Tas. You may have spent the last few years looking for me"-

'Not really,' Tas thought to himself.

"-but I have spent my entire life looking for you. Now do you still want to meet?"

"Yes, yes, definitely! Let's go to McDonald's, and get a fruit buzz!"

"Then go to the Adams Street bridge. I already got a fruit buzz. It wasn't that great."

"Oh, okay." Tas hung up, pulling on his waterproof raincoat and little rubber boots, along with his hat, which greatly resembled Paddington the bear's. He pulled a small yellow scarf over his mouth and nose.

Minutes later he was running down the sidewalk, splashing in every puddle that he could find as the rain continued to fall. In fact he was having so much fun that he wasn't really watching where he was going, and ran straight into a cloaked figure.

"Oh, pardon me," he said quickly, as the figure pulled the hood down. He gawked. "Raistlin! What are you doing here, of all places?"

Raistlin opened his mouth to speak, his hour glass eyes looking duller than ever, but was hurled into a coughing fit. "What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like Winnie the Pooh?" he finally managed to say.

"I'm going to meet an enemy of the state, and he's picking me up at the bridge!" Tas pointed at the structure for emphasis. "And you mean Paddington, not Pooh."

The reddish/black mage waved him away. "Same thing." He started hacking again, his body racking with shudders.

"Hey, you don't sound too good," Tas noted. "Maybe you should go to a doctor, or get Caramon to nurse you back to health. Just like the old days!"

"Caramon won't pay me any attention ever since he and Tika married!" Raistlin wailed, pulling his hood up. "I'm down here to hitchhike to Las Vegas."

"Maybe you should go to the intersection instead, since there are more cars. Or get Dalamar to take you!"

Raistlin rolled his eyes, muttering, "Kender never change, do they?"

"What was that, Raist? I couldn't here you."

"Oh nevermind. I suppose I'll see you at a casino sometime, if fate treats me kindly."

"All right! Bye!" Tas hastened under the bridge, thankful to be out of the rain. Seconds later a black car pulled up next to him.

Trinity opened the door. "Get in," she said gravely.

Tas ran over to the other side of the car, pulling the door open and plopping in the back seat next to her. At that moment, a woman dressed in steely grey turned around in her seat, a gun pointed at his head.

Tas blinked. "Is that real?"

"It's necessary Tas," Trinity explained, "for our protection."

"Er...From what?"

"From you."

"ME!" Tas jumped in his seat as lighting flashed at the same time as the thunder sounded (a creepy, inaccurate coincidence).

"Take off your yellow scarf," grey-gun-woman said.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes, saying to the driver, "Stop the car."

The very confused kender felt the car pull to a stop. He looked to Trinity for an explanation.

"Listen to me, Paddington," grey-gun-woman snapped. "We don't have time for 20 questions. Right now there's only one rule: our way, or the highway."

Tas frowned. "You know, you're starting to sound a lot like my boss. She used to be second in command in the"-

"Please Tas, you have to trust me," Trinity pleaded unemotionally.

"Why should I?" Tas was feeling a bit rebellious.

"Because you have been down that road before. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends. And I know that's not where you want to be."

There was a beat of silence before the kender nodded, and the car started again.

"Apoc, lights," Trinity suddenly said. Apoc handed her some kind of strange, non-humane looking contraption. "Lie back. Pull down your scarf."

Tas did as he was told, but not before asking, "Was is that thing?"

"I think you're bugged," she simply answered, holding it under his nose. "Try and relax."

Two little metal arms sprung out and landed on his cheeks. This was most interesting. He was going to have to tell Flint about this thing too...

"Come on," Trinity murmured to herself, concentrating (somewhat). "Come on."

"It's on the move."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Trinity shot her a glare before looking back down. "Come on."

"You're gonna lose it."

"No, I'm not. Clear!"

Tas felt a large shock of electricity run through his nose, which is not a pleasant feeling by the way. He twisted his scarf in his hands as Trinity pressed down on something. The tiny lobster was suddenly sucked from his nostril.

"Holy Huma, that thing's real!" Tas cried. "Wow! What's it made out of Trinity?"

She didn't answer, but instead threw it out of the window as they continued their drive down the road.

TBC...

Yeah, I know, some things were different, like the nose thing...But I thought that if it went up his nose instead it would be a lot less painful for everyone's favorite kender, and it was funnier, no? Please review!

And sorry for my super slow update. I've been really busy, and haven't had much time to sit down and write. But I will never abandon this fic!