Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The characters belong to GH and the song True belongs to Ryan Cabrera. Transcripts are courtesy of Journey Online.

Summary: Jason and Courtney's relationship recounted through some of their more memorable scenes. Lyrics are in bold and quotes are in italics. Jason's POV.

True 1/1:

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

Jason: Would you - would you feel safer if I stayed on the couch?
Courtney: I couldn't ask you to do that.
Jason: Well, you didn't. Got an extra blanket?
Courtney: I sure do.

I saw the fear that had taken up residence in her normally clear blue eyes and knew that there was no way I could leave her alone. Hell, I would sleep on that lumpy sofa for a thousand nights if that was what it took to give her peace of mind she so rightly deserved. I hardly knew her, but for some unknown reason I was drawn to her. She never wanted to be the damsel in distress and after what happened with Carly, I swore that my days as Port Charles's knight in shining amour were over. Yet, both of us were morphed into such characters. I wish I could say that it bothered me to be the one she turned to for everything, but it didn't. A.J. was no good for her. She needed someone that could protect her. Someone like me.

So that's how it started. Innocent and sweet. She was my boss's sister and it was my "duty" to protect her. And that's what I told myself over and over again. But despite my best efforts, my "duty" soon became the only source of pleasure in my life. I would dream of the days when she would be mine, because eventually she would be. Who care's that Sonny would kill me? Who cares that she's my sister-in-law? I sure as hell didn't.

You might think
I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

Courtney: No, I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. She pulls his face closer to hers When I saw you laying on that floor, I thought - They kiss passionately, then Courtney pulls away
Courtney: This - this is crazy. I - I love A.J.
Jason: I know. It won't happen again. Jason ruffles his wet hair
Courtney: It can't.

I remember the rain pouring down around us, but I couldn't feel it. The only thing I was focused on was the tears mixed with rain that made her cherry red cheeks glisten. God, I don't think I've ever seen such a gorgeous mess in my life. In my moment of weakness, I succumbed to the urge that had steadily been rising each and every night in her living room. Her lips were trembling slightly and I knew the seed of doubt was beginning to flourish into flower. It can't happen again. Yeah right…

What is about her that makes my reasoning hazy? I'm not suppose feel. No, I'm Jason Morgan and I work on autopilot. Something needs to be fixed? I fix it. Someone needs to be killed? I kill them without any remorse. But with her things are so much different. My autopilot is turned off and I'm stuck traveling this bumpy road that I've never been down before. And this kiss in the rain was the largest bump and threw me far off course.

I don't want to admit I need her, but at the same time know it's the only way things will get better. The more I let these feelings fester, the worse it's going to get. And what if the unthinkable happens? What if I lose her without ever telling her the truth? Could I really turn her world upside just to make mine easier? I've been accused of many things in my lifetime, but selfish was never one of them. So, I turned and walked away with the solemn promise of getting myself to a hospital.

I'm weak
It's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

Courtney: I don't know Jason. I just, I'm just really confused right now. Right now the only way we can be together is in secret and maybe that's a sign we shouldn't be together at all.
Jason: Is that what you want?
Courtney: No, no I mean, I don't want to be the reason that you get in even more trouble. I just, if its safer for us to just stop than maybe we should.
Jason: I don't want it to stop.

There she was giving me a free out. Yet, I couldn't take it. I thought that was what I wanted, a chance to walk away, but that intangible string pulled me closer to her. The love we share could never be a good thing, there were too many people to tell us that it wasn't. She shouldn't be worth fighting for. I've never put a girl before my business and my relationship with Sonny, but here I was holding onto her like I could never let go. Courtney knows exactly who I am and loves me for it anyways. Doesn't every man deserve the love of a good woman? Don't I deserve that?

All these conflicting emotions were becoming too much for me to deduce. I needed her, but did I need her more than I needed my job? I love her, but do I even know what love really is? It's these questions that haunt me late at night. The sneaking around is beginning to wear thin and I know it's only a matter of time before one of us breaks. I hope to god that it's me before her. I couldn't live with myself if I became the reason whythe light in her eyes doesn't twinkle like it used too. I meant it when I said that I didn't want it to stop. I meant it more than anything I've ever said in my entire life. Her kisses, soft and sweetwere like a drug to me and I quickly became an addict. She's my type of drug, euphoric and calming to the very end. And just like anything else, she'll slowly kill me, but what does it matter? I was already dead to begin with.

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

Jason: I am not going to be the reason that you hurt yourself. If you try to save me again, I'll walk away. I don't - I don't ever want to walk away, Courtney. Please promise me you won't do this again.
Courtney: I promise. You have to promise me something, too - that you're going to find a way to come back to me so we can be together again.
Jason: I promise.

I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate knowing that she felt the unwavering need to save me. I did what I had to do to make sure that she would never act on that need again. I'm not sure if I could ever walk away from her for real, but my voice came out with enough conviction that she actually seemed to believe me. However, in the back of my mind, I'm flattered. For the first time in my life, someone deemed me important enough to risk life and limb for. No one has ever gone out of their way to make sure that I was taken care of. Sonny and Carly just assume that I can handle any situation. Emily, naïve to the very end, turns a blind eye. As for my parents, I think they gave up long ago on being my saviors.

Not Courtney, though. The girl that I have risked so much for just proved that she would do the same for me. Is it sick that I feel this way? Probably, but I'm tired of being politically correct. Plus, does it really matter if no one knows that these are the thoughts that plague me? Cause I could never share this with anyone, especially her. So when I look at her with eyes of stone demanding that she never try such a feat again, I hope that she knows it's for her own good. More than that, I hope she knows that underneath it all, I've never been more grateful.

You don't know
What you do
Every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

Courtney: God, I love you so much.
Jason: I love you, too. You know, some people never get to feel that.
Courtney: Thank you for taking me here.
Jason: I'm just trying to tell you that - that losing something matters. But what we have left matters more.

So this is what it's like when your world is falling down. Funny, I thought that there would be a bigger explosion. She's slowly losing hold on the world around her and I wonder how much longer before she lets go. Because everything I say to her doesn't seem to matter anymore. Sure, she listens but she doesn't hear what I'm telling her. She blanks out the pleading that tinges my voice as I beg to shoulder some of the burden with her. The sincerity when I profess my love is lost on her as well. It seems the only thing she can focus on is the pain of losing our daughter and I can't grab hold of her attention long enough for her to let go

She honestly believes that I blame her for the miscarriage and maybe deep down I do. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. It doesn't mean that I want to leave her. I just need some time to adjust myself, but know that second I walk away it's over. I can't collect myself until she finds a way to do the same. So I'm stuck trying to glue her back together and at the same time pretend that I'm not hurt. She doesn't think I care and maybe the problem is that I care too much. I've already lost my daughter and I don't know what to do if I lose my wife too. I love her, honestly and completely but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's not enough to dry her tears and most certainly not enough to bring our child back to life. So I do my best to soothe her with words that mean little if anything at all and quietly wallow in my own pain. It's nothing I haven't done before.

I'm weak
It's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

Courtney: You know what's funny? My mom has drilled it into me since before I could walk that I should marry a man with money, and I did. You could've given me anything I wanted - cars, jewelry. But in the end, I didn't want anything except for us to last. At least the divorce won't be a fight because I always hated fighting with you.
Jason: There's nothing to fight about because I love you. It was an honor to be married to you, even for a little while.

I don't believe I've ever seen such an amicable divorce. We both parted and went our separate ways. No bitter words, no shameless backstabbing. Just silent surrendering. Maybe one day when the dust settles, we will be us again. But I'm not going to hold my breath. She'll move on and I'll be happy if not a little jealous. Courtney is my one and only, I know that and it seems like treason to let another woman sleep in her spot. I'm good at being alone, it's what I know best. But not her, she needs someone to hold her hand and rub her back as she falls to sleep. I can't be that person anymore. She doesn't want me to be that person anymore…

It hurts her too much to be with me and I always swore that I would never bring pain into her life. I know she loves me and maybe she always will, but I can't go on watching her die little by little with each passing day. The only thing that worries me is that one day when all is said and done, I'll be nothing but a memory to her. A distant thought as she curls into the arms of another man. Another man that won't love her half as much as did. Selfish? Yes, but such is human nature. I'm giving her up for the greater good and all the other bullshit excuses that people who are afraid say. I just want her to want me like she used before everything turned upside down. But things can never be the same so I do what I've always done: break myself to protect her.

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try, anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

Courtney: I think about the future all the time. You know, where I'll be a month from now or a year from now. You know, I try to predict the morning that I'll wake up and not miss you anymore. It hasn't happened yet, but it's so typical, right? Look, I know that there's no way to let go. I just - sooner or later, I'll find it.
Jason: You start with saying the words. Goodbye.
Courtney: Goodbye.

She walks away and the rain is still coating my jeans. Everything screams at me to chase after her and tell her that everything that was just saidis false. My legs seem stuck in place as I watch her quicken her pace. I can't do it.. She turns the corner and it's like she's just walked out of my life for good. There will be no more longing glances, short reunions. Nope, her days as Courtney Morgan are officially over and I am officially disgusted with myself. It was her primary instinct to try and save me, but that ultimatum I made came back and bit me in the ass. If I'm one thing, I'm a man of my word and just like I promised, we are over. I've made my bed and now I must lie in it alone.

I silently curse the weather as I force myself to head home. Stupid rain that always seems to remind me of that night where I held her in my arms for the first time. It seems like years ago and things have changed dramatically. Everything except of course my feelings for her, because they never seem to fade, only come back more intense. Can I really do this? Can I really do everything that I just coaxed Courtney to do? Will I ever be able to say goodbye and then turn my back on her? No, because she will forever be that voice in the back of my head that tells me the difference between right and wrong. My very own intuition woman, who unintentionally turns me into her prisoner.

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

I see her sitting in the corner of Kelly's. Her eyes are blood shot as she tries to no avail to force back the tears that burn her eyes. I'm not sure why I feel so drawn to her. It's been five years since the divorce. Seems like even longer since we've spoken to one another. Yet, I pull back the chair and slide in across from her. She forces on a fake smile and I realize how little she's changed. Always putting on her brave face for me. The silence suffices for awhile as I reach over and place a comforting hand over her shaky one. The edges of her large diamond cut into my hand quickly reminding me of our estrangement.

"How's the marriage?" I try to keep my voice light, but the meaning is not lost on either of us.

"In shambles," she returns with a sigh.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." And I know she's right. The silence returns and I notice a few questioning stares from the other patrons in the diner. Surely, this will be the hottest topic on the Port Charles rumor mill tomorrow. Not like it matters, I don't care about what others thinks and Courtney and her marriage to Jax have been talked about enough she's used to the whispers. "I wish I could go back in time." She says it so quietly thatI almost don't hear her.

"Why is that?" My voice is husky and the look that stay reserve for me only enters her eyes.

"Things that seemed insurmountable back then where a cake walk to what I'm dealing with now."

"It could be worse…"

"Oh yeah?" Her voice raises and octave and I watch as she quickly makes an effort to lower it. "Try knowing that your husband sneaks around behind your back to screw some trailer trash whore."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I hired an investigator." She rifles through her purse until she comes uptriumphantly with several photographs. The picturesare thrown on the table with a sigh and sure enough they show a less then stealth Jasper Jacks with his tongue down Sam McCall's throat. "It's nothing that I didn't know before."

"Why don't you leave?"

"And do what?" She asks with a raise of her manicured eyebrow. Before I can offer asolution, she cuts me off. "What Jax and I have isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but at least I'm not alone." I've never heard her sound so broken and I wonder when exactly the charismatic Australian stripped her of her independence and dignity. The thought makes me angry and it takes all of my self control not to reach across the table and shake the stupidity out of her.

"You would never be alone." I try but she shakes her head.

"Who do I have?" She squeaks out. "Sonny? We both know that the only person who will beat him to the "I told you so" speech is Carly."

"What about me?" I ask softly.

"You mean my ex husband who I've barely said two words to in the past couple of years?" She returns sardonically.

"Who's fault is that?" I spit back. "You cut me out of your life."

"I did what I had to do to protect my marriage."

"Well, that worked out real well for you…" It's a cheap shot, but one that I can't stop from escaping my lips.

"Don't you think I know that? I screwed up and I'll be the first to admit it, but there's nothing I can do to fix it."

"What makes you so sure about that?" I reach out to push a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. "Maybe there's a reason I'm here right now. Maybe there's a reason why we've been through all the shit we've been through."

"Because fate hates us?" She asks with an amused look lightening up her facial features.

"Because we belong with one another." I reply.

"I don't even know you anymore."

"I'm the same person I've always been only a few years older."

"I'm scared." She whispers. "I don't want to get hurt again."

"I can't promise that I won't hurt you anymore." Her face falls in response. "But I can promise that I'll follow every time you walk away." I watch as her gaze concentrates on the glint of her wedding ring. Sighing she slides it off and I feel as if a ton has been lifted off my shoulders.

"I guess that's all I can ask for." She smiles as she places the diamond in the center of the table. I get up and offer my hand and watch as she takes it with a smile. All the questioning stares are forgotten as she leans close to me. "For better or worse?"

"For better or worse." I confirm with a smile.