Someone Out There
Chapter Twenty Five: Just Reminiscing
Sango yawned sleepily as sat up on her bed. Who could be visiting at such an hour? She glanced at the clock. 3:00AM. She climbed out and trudged to the door. "I'm going to kill you," growled Sango. She opened the door to face find a guy with a handsome grin, nice butt and two ice-cream cones at her door. Miroku grinned taking in the full sight of Sango in her small brown t-shirt and pale pink pajama pants.
"Miroku?" she cried disbelievingly. "That's me," he waved. Sango rubbed her eyes to get a better look. Yup it was him. Sango felt a wave of annoyance rush over her. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" she snapped.
"Only 3:00AM," he said airily as he welcomed himself into her house. "You didn't think I wouldn't visit after you gave me your address, did you?" he asked rhetorically. Sango groaned, "What are you doing here at 3 in the morning!" Miroku looked at her squarely, "Just reminiscing."
Sango decided not to question further and flopped herself sleepily on the couch. She propped her legs on the glass coffee table and snuggled up to one of the cushions. Miroku handed her one of the ice cream cones. "You would never say no to ice cream, right?" Sango shrugged and accepted the ice cream. Vanilla, one of her favorites. Miroku also had a vanilla cone and he sat there in silence with her, eating away on the cool treat.
"Did you ever think I might've slammed the door in your face and you'd be the idiot outside a girl's door with two ice cream cones?" asked Sango. What made him so confident about things? He never use to be that confident about matters before, especially about girls. Sango sat up and took a good look at him. He hair was still tousled as always, something incredibly attractive to Sango. He had a navy sweatshirt and black denim jeans.
"I'm sure, because I know exactly what I want," he replied. Sango tried not to overanalyze what he just said. She continued licking her ice cream cone. "Somehow this doesn't feel like old times," said Sango. Miroku blinked, "Maybe because things aren't like the way they were."
Is everything out of his mouth like a come on? Or is he being honest? thought Sango. "True, both of us have changed. For better and for worse." Miroku was about to ask her what the last part meant when a question sprung into his mind. "Why did you lie about getting married?"
"Who said I lied?" said Sango defensively. Miroku just looked at her, willing her to give in. Sango knew he didn't fall for her bluff. "So you would stop asking," said Sango quietly, never taking her eyes off the glass coffee table in front of her. Both of them were silent. The clock ticked, each second rung the resounding silence. Miroku sat there, polishing off the last bit of his cone before talking again.
"Is there something I should know that you don't want me to know?" he asked. Sango tried to keep her posture still. Miroku let it go, not wanting to upset her any further. Maybe she did have a big secret on her back, something that's been eating her away for a long time. It must be hard, thought Miroku sympathetically. "So have you met anyone these past years?" asked Sango, breaking the silence.
"I haven't dated since you left," he replied truthfully. "At first, I thought I could find another girl to replace the empty void you created when you left, but I couldn't. It wasn't the same. When Kagome broke up with me, I didn't feel like finding love again. It was too much trouble for what it's worth. Like you said, true love will find me, and if it is meant to be, it'll wait." Sango nodded.
"I'm not trying to force this on you," he continued, "But over the past years I realized that you were the only person who understood me. Every girl I saw I would find myself comparing her with you. You listen to me, you like my cooking, you don't even count the girls I've dated in the past. Well not seriously anyways. You know my flaws, my habits, but you still stuck by me. If I were you, I'd ditch this annoying friend ages ago. But you didn't. It was stupid of me to find someone out there when they were with me all this time." Miroku stopped. "Sorry, I'm being pushy again."
Sango shook her head, "No it's okay." How did she feel? She wanted to feel the same way, but it was obvious that she couldn't. Tommy and everything. Miroku looked at her curiously. "Miroku…I've been debating with myself all these years whether to tell you this or not…" Sango thought it over, both sides of her brain debating whether to say it or not.
"Never mind."
Miroku bit the inside of his cheek but relaxed, "If you ever want to tell me, just give me a call." He leaned back on the couch and stretched his legs onto the glass table, as if he was at home. "I know I've asked you this before, but I still don't know the answer as to why you left," he mused. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, of course, but I was wondering…Did you miss me?"
Sango looked up into the quiet ceiling and said quietly, "More than you could ever imagine." Every second of their time together passes through her mind like a film strip without sound, every day, every moment she did something. The friendship they had was cherished in her mind. "Miroku, Sandy told you I loved you right? That's partly the reason why I left."
Miroku looked at her, confused. "Why would you leave someone when you love them? You're not going for those soap-opera crap, or stupid romance novel drama are you?" He was joking about the last part. He got up to her fridge, grabbed a can of Sprite and sat down again. Sango smiled wryly, "Making yourself comfortable, are we?" "Well I'll be here for a while anyways," he replied.
"You don't need to have that person in order to love them," she replied logically. Miroku thought this one over. "Why are you so smart about love?" he smiled silly. Sango whacked him lightly with her cushion. "Shut up," she grinned. "There's the playful Sango that I know," Miroku said.
They sat there in silence, but not so awkward as before. "Do you want to pick up where we left off?" asked Miroku. "I promise you I'm more mature and less of a jerk as you knew 5 years ago!" he promised. Sango pretend to think it over. "Fine, but only if you promise not to make a move every time you got." Miroku pretended to look hurt. "So you're rejecting me before I even asked you out?" Sango laughed and replied, "Maybe."
"So how was raising Tommy like?" asked Miroku. He was so curious of what was going on in Sango's life. "Questions never stop coming, eh?" Sango said raising an eyebrow. "You're my best friend Sango, I know everything about you more than you know yourself. Don't you think it itches when you end up not knowing everything even though you feel like you're suppose to?" Miroku replied. The subtle seriousness in the edge of his voice let Sango know he wasn't bulling around.
"Tommy is the pride of my life," she claimed, "He is so rowdy and sarcastic even at this age and I love every drip of disdain that comes from him." "Would you change anything if you could?" asked Miroku inquisitively. Sango paused and stared blankly. The clock was ticking close to 4:00AM. Would she change anything? "I don't regret keeping the baby if that's what you mean."
Miroku picked on an imaginary piece of lint, "Would you change who the father is?" Sango bit her lip. She wanted to tell him. She never did before, but talking to him felt so easy right now, it convinced her that it was okay. Yet her fears bind her tongue from speaking. "No I wouldn't. I haven't regretted anything I've done." Sango knew she was treading on thin ice. It doesn't take an idiot to add 2 and 2 together to figure out the whole truth.
"He's mine isn't he?" Miroku insisted. He was no idiot in some ways. Sango's heart stopped beating for two seconds before it slowly regain composure. Barely able to get a nod out, she shifted her seat. She wanted to lie her way out of this, but that would be running. She was tired from running. Sandy was right, she either sits her life away or she runs. She was tired of all this. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
Miroku touched her chin gingerly to raise her face so she can meet him eye level. "It doesn't change anything, should it?" he said softly. Sango's eyelid fluttered at his touch. She could hear their breathing, softly dancing in the fast approaching morning. Miroku sat there patiently waiting, waiting for an answer, waiting for confession, just waiting. Sango swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I don't know, should it?" she said, her voice cracking. She could feel tears rising to the corner of her eyes. She blinked them away. Miroku shook his head slightly, "No." he whispered, "Knowing Tommy is mine doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you for you, Sango, you. Not because I feel responsible or obliged. I love you because…because clichés fail to even begin to describe the indescribable feeling I have." His smile was as wide as it was genuine. "I feel giddy," he confessed mellifluously.
Sango gaped. She didn't say anything as she relived the words he said. She wasn't as sure as she was back when she was younger. Less rash, more rational. "I need time," she sighed. "It's not easy for me to absorb all this right now. There is so much more to it. Tommy will have to accept you…I will have to accept you and…I'm just so unsure."
Miroku brushed one finger across the side of her cheek. He stood up to leave. As he got to the door he turned around and said one thing, "I will wait then. All I ask for is a chance and in return you can have my heart."