Later that Same Night…
Ring!… Ring!... Ri – "Hello?"
"Hey, Matt. Its me, how are you, I am good."
"Adam? What's wrong?" Matt sounded worried. Duh, why wouldn't he? Look at what I had just opened with. I took a breath and tried to clear my head. There was no reason to be upset; I was just going to nonchalantly ask Matt if he'd been speaking to his brother.
"Matt I… I got a letter. From Jeff." Silence on the other end. I could almost hear Matt's jaw drop.
"From Jeff. A letter… hmmm. Oh. This was your anniversary wasn't it?" Matt paused, and I could hear him talking to Shannon, telling him nothing was wrong. I closed my eyes and waited for Matt to come back. "What did it say?" His voice was high and a little squeaky; a sure sign that Matt had already decided this was a bad thing.
"Happy Anniversary Baby. I still love you." My voice was small and flat, the words I pronounced making me uneasy and sick and scared and a little lonely. And… perhaps… a little bit wondering if this was the chance to get it all back again? No, I was with Chris now. This was just a … a little problem to be shoved back into my subconscious, to be forgotten about. Right?
I listened to the stunned silence on the other line, waiting, silently pleading for Matt to confirm my decision that this was merely a little problem that could be easily forgotten about. Not even a real problem... just a dilemma. Yeah, a dilemma.
"Matt? Are you there?" Still with the squeaky scared voice. Great.
"Yeah, man, I'm still here. Ok. So." I hear Matt take a deep breath, knew that his mind was processing the information, forming an opionion. All at once I got it. "Happy Anniversay! I STILL love you! What the f#? I'm gonna kill him!" Matt screamed at me through the phone. "What right does he have? Really, I mean, think Adam, it is over between you, so THERE IS NO MORE ANNIVERSARY!"
"Yeah, I know! Don't scream at me, I need to know what to do!" My voice was shakier, on the verge of a crop of tears I had been holding in since dinner. Matt sighed and I could almost feel the air around him change.
"Listen. Ok, Adam. You love Chris?" I nodded. "Adam?"
"Oh! Yes, I love Chris. With all my heart." I declared, not sounding that sure of myself.
"Then, that's all there is. Chris. Not Jeff. Just pretend you never got the letter. Throw it away and go upstairs and make love to Chris and forget about Jeff. If you don't, Adam, if you dwell on this, no good will come from it. And I will deal with little Jeffrey."
The last sentence was cold and angry. Matt would deal with Jeff. That might not be that good for Jeff… I thought, ready to defend him. And then Matt's anger seemed to take hold of me and I stood up from the edge of the couch where I had been nervously perched.
"OK! You are right, Jeff is nothing anymore. I am going to go show Chris how I feel about him, and that is the end of it. The letter is gone now." I tossed the letter into the trash and smiled to myself. "Thank you."
"No problem. Go enjoy yourself. And I will see you on RAW ok? Tell Chris I say hello. And Adam? Be strong." I nodded as I hung up the phone. I smiled to myself and was on my way in search of Chris when I passed by the trash. I stopped. I reached in and took the letter, smoothing it out. I placed it back in the envelope and tucked it under the couch cushion. And started to cry.