Chapter 9!

Life sucks now. Gray and I have been seperated for 3 weeks. My heart feels like its incased in ice. I have been moping around alot and many guys have been hitting on me. Although I've ignored it. Gray is all I want. All I need. The snow is warmer than I am. I see Gray around. Although, when he talks to me. I keep walking.MY heart colder than before. Everynight I cry myself to sleep. Karen Stays over at my place alot, Keeping me company.

"You really should move on." She told me. I nodded.

"Its hard. I love Gray.It'll be some time before I can go on.." I said crying.

"Look. How about this. Go on ONE date with a guy other than Gray and see how you do." She offerd. I thought about it. I do feel bad that Gray cheated on me. The damned two timer.I needed something to keep my mind off of Gray. Although. I hated to think about dating another..But I went along with it, First, Karen had me date Cliff. It went alright. Not great though. He didnt dress up nicly for our romantic dinner at the inn.

Then I dated The Docter, All he talked about was sicknesses. I couldnt eat. Karen about gave up on me.

"Jill you've dated almost every guy in the town! You are too picky!" She told me over and over again. I told her that no one was as perfect as Gray. He was my love. I gave up. My heart sank deep, deep into my chest. So much that it hurt. I thought of the past and it made me cry. I had no one to hold me tight and tell me it would all be okay. No one that would catch my tears before they fell. No one to stroke my hair and kiss me.

At night I choked on my fears. My tears. I never cried this hard. I still love Gray. I wanted Him Not Rick, Not Cliff, not the docter, Not Kai, GRAY. Although I know he was far from my heart. But one day. Someone pounded on my door. I sighed. It was 3 in the morning and I had just cried myself to sleep. I opend the door and there stood before me was Gray. My lover. Or. Former lover.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly. He was crying. Be it me not to feel terrible for him. He was on his knees in tears. I bent down beside him and he cried on me.

"Grampa...he got hurt...real bad..." He told me. He cried in my busum. I held him near. Now remembering everying I gave up.

"Shh...dont cry now...tell me what happend." I cooed. He cried out the whole story. His grandfather was buisy fixing another of Gray's mistakes he made because he wasnt concentraiting. He got mad and accidently hit himself on the hand. While wailing in pain he tripped over something on the floor and got burnt from his wrist to his elbow. I could see why he was upset. "Dont worry. The docter will take care of him." I assured.

"Jill...are you sure? Im worried."

"Dont worry now...people only fear what they do not understand." I said hugging him. "If you want. You can stay here as long as you want."

"Thanks Jill." He said, before standing up. I walked with him into the house. I gave him a blanket from the closet and a forehead kiss good night. He lied down on the couch with the blanket. When he shut his eyes, I rememberd why I fell in love with this guy. He was so innosent...and sexy...and kind... I had it bad. When I saw him in tears when he came to me, the man I love, I couldnt belive that I thought he had cheated on me, but the facts were there. He held Mary, not me, he smiled at her, not me. I just couldnt belive that a man I trusted, and loved, betrayed me like that. I shook my head, not going to fall back in the deep end. I walked to my bed and lied in it, closing my eyes.

I heard voices in my head that night...

"It wasnt what you thought...I love you and only you...dont think I'd do that to you...I know what it looked like...but it wasnt like that..." The voice said. I woke and saw Gray stairing back at me.

"What..?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"I wasnt cheating on you. I love you way way too much Jill. Your the girl I want to be with untill the day I die.." He told me, stroking my hair gently. Kissing me. "I wont let you think I dont love you, because I do love you, with all my heart."

"I love you too." I told him. still half asleep. "Thats why I was so very hurt thinking that you loved Mary.."

"I wont ever scare you like that again. Promise." He told me, hugging me. "Just, dont date the other men anymore."

"I wont. None of them were perfect, like you." I told him smiling. Glad to have MY Gray hold ME in his arms. A knock came at my door. I stood up and walked over to the door and awncerd the knock. Gray's grandpa was stairing back at me. His eyes intence with anger. His right arm had a cast on it. Not that it was broken, but the burn..and the hand...well. Anyway. Gray stayed a safe distance away from his grandfather. Saibara walked in uninvited and twords Gray. He rose his good hand to strike him but I guarded Gray in the last moment and got struck myselt. The pain stung my cheek and throbbed. He sure was pissed.

Gray scrambled over to where I fell and gatherd me in his arms.

"What the hell grandpa?Don't hit Jill!" He scolded. Hugging me to him. "Are you alright Jill?"

"Yeah..Im okay." I told him. Rubbing my cheek where he had hit me.

"I wasnt trying to hit Jill. I was trying to hit you." Saibara snapped twords Gray. Gray glared at him, holding onto me tight.

"Im sorry im such a screw up!" Gray shouted in anger. I would have said 'your not a screw up..' but this wasnt my fight. I just saved that for later.

"I should have just left you in that god forsaken city." Snapped Saibara. Gray just sat there holding me in shock. Saibara left angerly.

"Gray..." I whisperd. Gray began to cry again.

"Im such a screw up! I mess up everything!" He cried. His tears dropped onto my head. I shook my head.

"You arnt a screw up and you dont mess up everything.Gray it was an accident." I told him, brushing my hand along his cheek.Softly.

"Thanks...but I am. I screwed up our relationship before, I screwed up on what I was working on. I just suck." Gray cried. Putting himself down.

"Gray. Dont talk like that! You dont suck! The relationship thing was my fault! I overreacted and should have lisoned to you. Dont tell yourself that you mess up everything or you will! Gray. Lison to me. Not just as help, but as your girlfriend. Dont do this to yourself anymore." I snapped. He nodded and held onto me. All he wanted was for me to be there with him to help him with all the problems he could come up with.

An: Hello all you people who read my fanfics! Thanks for the support! Its summer Vacation for me and im going to do some major updating on all of my fanfics. I'll try to finish them but some are so far behind that its just too hard. But I will do my best! I got my CDs here with me and im gonna do my best! Thanks for the support again!