My boys, how I love my boys.
I have seven in all, three redheads, one blond and two three black haired beauties. All of them are good looking, at least to this mother's eyes. I remember their births vividly and each one is different, a special elf in his own right.
Each one with talents and faults that he struggles to over come, and yet I find that I love them for their little idiosyncrasies. Maglor bit his nails something awful, and Amras was the one with the short temper. I remember the number of times we would have to pull him off some poor elfling because he was beating them up about something.
I remember the first time someone pointed out to Celegorm that he was unusually good looking and how he answered that he already knew it! His grandfather immediately put him on a crash course for humility. His consist companion would always be Curufin, following where ever the other lead. My silly boys, of all my children they made the oddest pair, Celegorm tall and blond his perfect features raised in pride and Curufin his jet hair pulled away from his face as always, his was rather a plain face but he was probably more proud of his family name then Celegorm. And so like his father! Such a child to be like their father I never saw.
Maedhros, my copper top boy, too tall for almost everything! He never really had a confident in the family. No, his friend and brother was Fingon of Fingolfin's house. They were like two peas in a pod and Fingon practically lived with us during their growing up years. They would ran screaming through the house make believing they were Tulkas, and his brother, fighting with the wooden swords and shields Feanor made them. I sometimes wonder if Eru didn't make a mistake in giving Fingon to Fingolfin's house for a son, perhaps he should have been ours?
And then there was Amrod and Caranthir, the two quiet ones. They kept to themselves and spent huge amounts of time alone. Amrod and his painting and tanning and Caranthir and his forging, I never really knew what they were doing but as long as they were together they were fine. Unlike Curufin and Celegorm them never returned home was bloody noses, or broken arms. Some people tend to think that the twins were very close and perhaps that could be said as truth for their later years, but as children it was always Caranthir and Amrod, and Amras and Maglor; Maedhros and Fingon and Celegorm and Curufin.
I suppose in the end I consider Fingon as one of my own because he was with us so often. I know my husband and Fingolfin would hardly thank me for saying that, but that's how it was. All the years I watched them develop into the men they would become, seeing their joys and tears, their frustrations and happiness. And I loved everyone of them, even Fingon as my own.
There are many stories folks don't remember that I could tell about them that few remember now they are gone from Valinor and their fates hidden from us. But as I write this it brings them near to me and I feel that I can touch them and see them through recounting their lives with me.
When they were just boys, my boys.
Nerdanel, Wife of Fëanor
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Authorial Note: I know none of you will believe this, but I got this journal in the mail without a return address. I opened it and found this big velvet volume and found it was written in totally incomprehensible Elvish. I sent it off to my good friend, and mentor Tolkien and he translated it for me. He sent it back with a note saying that since it was sent to me in the first place I was allowed to publish it; and if people liked it I was allowed to take the credit because I had to reword everything for you to understand.
I cried my way through most of it though and I hope you do too,…..that came out wrong. What I mean is I hope you like this because it's very moving! There that's better, just let me know if you think I should go on with it. Cheers!
The Mysterious