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Chapter 2 ….I remember the Twins most

I suppose that I remember the birth of the twins better then any of the others because they were my last babies. I would say Maedhros was the most painful birth and Curufin's the quickest. But the twins birth stands apart for the simple fact that their were two of them.

I was in labor for exactly two days, two hours, two minutes and three seconds. Feanor always said that the last three second discrepancy was the reason they were so different from each other. Two identical boys wrapped in linen were set in my arms and I remember counting their fingers and toes with Feanor, to make sure they were all there. He marveled over them, two little elflings, exactly alike and so small!

My husband could hold one completely in each of his long fingered hands. Of all my boys they were the sleepiest babies! All night they would sleep, curled up together, holding on to the other peacefully. They were a blessing though as it allowed Feanor and I the liberty of working in the forge unhampered.

When they were a week old they were presented to the boys and claimed by two of their older brothers. Caranthir marched right up to me and lifted Amrod's little self up and said "I think that you and I are going to be just right for each other, Amrod"

Caranthir was rewarded by a happy smile form his newly claimed brother. Maglor came forward next and looked down at Amras's grumpy face. He put out a finger and gently touched his soft cheek and said " I suppose that you and I are meant for each other little stranger." At this Amras began to cry much to Maglor's discomfort, but I knew that it would pass. Maglor would win him over with his patience.

Amras was a fussy unhappy baby. He was never content to be held and never content to be left alone. The first few months with him were trying for everyone in the household.. We tried everything, but he would wail out his baby complaints around the clock. He would only quiet when I cuddled with him; and when I fed him he would watch me with his large grey eyes

I worried about him form the start, something was not right and vague stirrings of dread filled my heart. Feanor brushed my fears aside with a laugh saying that no harm could touch him while we lived in Valinor. Though I said nothing, I could never truly shake those fears from my heart even as I watched them grow into strong young men.

Neither of the twins had any hair for the first year of their lives. The colorless peach fuzz covered their little heads right up till their first Begetting Day. I was mildly worried as this would be the first time they would be presented to the Valar, and the general public.

Even my other sons were afraid that the people would find some reason to make fun of their new siblings. I wanted to tell them that as long as their father wore the Silmarils on his head on one would notice the twins had nothing on theirs.

And sadly enough it was true, after the initial presentation the attention was focused on my husbands jewels. The only two who seemed interested in the twins were two of the Valier. Nessa and Nienna came forward and each bestowed a kiss on their little bald heads.

Nessa granted Amrod great strength and swiftness as a hunter, and laughingly kissed him again. He gurgled and gave her a big sloppy open mouthed baby kiss on her youthful cheek. I was glad for him, surly he would he heralded for his skill one day. But my eyes sought Nienna and Amras…

She had kissed my boy and stroked his chubby hand tenderly. He touched her cheek with his fat finger and I saw that he reached to brush away a tear. He looked at the silver drop on his finger and smiled for the first time, his baby teeth gleaming and his ruby lips spread in the wide grin he would come to be known for.

As I have said before each was as different as night and day.

Amras, after your grumpy and unhappy first year, you blossomed into a happy-go-lucky little elfling. Maglor took you under his wing and I watched you unfold and become out going and carefree. Soon you were the one dragging Maglor everywhere, out hunting or camping; in the forge or in the music room you trailed. Despite your identical looks everyone always knew which of you was Amrod and which was Amras.

You always had your feet flat on the ground unlike Maglor, you had no time to waste in day dreaming. No, you would go out and do the things that Maglor dreamt about.

Now Amrod on the other hand was very different.

Amrod was always the quiet one, content to follow where your brother's lead. I remember watching you play by yourself so happily that I hated to disturb you. And you tended to dislike having any of the other boys play with you. Hiding in the corners with your little model men you would have them hunt and forge and wonder about the coming of men. I am still curious as to why this captured your thoughts, but it did.

And slowly I realized that it was the gentle influence of your older brother, Caranthir. I watched as you allowed him to play with you and expanded your little world till the nursery was too little to hold your adventures. The day you left the nursery for good I cried because I knew none would come after you to fill it with laughter.

Oh my twins! My sweet little boys! I only had you till your tenth year, and I was forced to leave you! Was I wrong to leave you so?

Yes, I was wrong I can see that now, as I watch you grow more and more under the influence of your father. But there is nothing I can do now to bring you back. My sweet red haired twins.

Nerdanel, Wife of Feanor

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Author's Note: After reading this over I wrote to Tolkien again and discovered that Amras died at the burning of the ships. He was trying to return either for the other's or so he could return to Valinor. Which one it was I have not discovered yet, but someday hope to record.

Jaffee Leeds