Chapter Five

Myr had been here, at this place in the dream, for the past two nights when she would wake in a cold sweat. The images haunted her in every sleeping moment - the woman, the birthing room, and the sounds of new life… Myr would wake shaken and disoriented.

Her dreams had stopped years ago, just past her eleventh birthday, until now. It was one of the things that children on Vjun live with, dreams. They had become so expected and indeed, a part of life on this wretched planet, that they were nothing but whimsy. Once outgrown, dreams rarely returned…and never in this much detail. So far there were never words, but tonight…

The mother, whom Myr could never plainly see or hear in her dream, tonight, was given a name. Padmé. The woman from the letter in the snow globe case…

Myr threw the covers aside and got out of bed. Her bedroom had grown colder in the night and she moved to the intricately carved fireplace and stoked the embers of the dying fire. She was sorry that she had opted for this as her heat source tonight, as the practicality of the modulated castle heating quickly overcame the whimsy of having a fire in her opinion. It was too late now. She certainly didn't want to be caught up rambling around the hallways of the castle in the middle of the night by Lord Vader. Myr lay back down and stared up the ornate ceiling above her bed. Angels blew on trumpets against the backdrop of a blue sky decorated with clouds on the beautiful mural. Thoughts of the ill-fated Padmé wouldn't let her rid herself of the remnants of her dream.

She decided to go to the kitchen and make some warm milk. She would drink that and take a sleeping tablet and perhaps get at least a little rest. She made it as far down the hall as her Lord's chambers when she stopped. The floor of his sleeping chambers creaked with the weight of his footfalls. So he couldn't sleep either…

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Darth Vader pulled on a heavy black wool robe, tied the sash and drew the hood over his bare head. He walked from his bed to tall obsidian tinted window in his chambers. The panels on the sills blinked with status lights, attesting to the delicacy of the room's atmosphere. It was the only place he could remove the accursed suit. The surface of the window had been dulled to opacity by design. Vader did not like being reminded of his lot in life by his reflection. He watched numbly as the snow drifted slowly to the surface of the lower parapets and roof. He shuddered. The sight reminded him of the peace that seemed to come at the end of battle, when the explosions and cries of death had died down and there was nothing left but the eerie falling of ash.

He remembered those days in the Clone Wars. Med units filled with half bodies and the tortured moans of those wishing fervently for death to take them from their misery. Walking in the muck and mud stained by the blood of Jedi, Separatists, and Clones alike. Death never discriminated, especially in war. He had loathed the ground battles, preferring the quick, clean, painless death that came with the guns of a star fighter.

It was times like this when he would ask himself if life had really improved under the Empire. It certainly had been a better system than the Old Republic and the galaxy had lived in relative peace for twenty years. Why then did the traitorous Alliance keep adding systems? The answer always unsettled him. He hated the feeling that after all this time, after all of this….war, worlds were still fighting, traitors were still living and his child was no closer to him than the before he donned the miserable suit.

At this point in Darth Vader's life, the ideals he had clung so steadfastly to as a youth seemed trivial. What good was power if there was no one to share it with? What good was peace if his family was gone? The circle of his dilemma never ended. He was still asking himself the same questions he had twenty years ago. He turned from the window and decided to go downstairs. This room permitted too many feelings. He needed to find a droid and spar. The idle time had begun to make him feel like a caged animal. But first, there were items awaiting his attention in the study that would require that the past haunt him one more time this wretched day.

In the study, Vader walked to the desk and looked over to find his cape folded neatly on the corner of the desk. He drew it around him and fastened the chain around his neck and attached it by the hook on the front of his shoulder armor. He frowned. He didn't remember leaving the cape in the study. He was much too distracted, of late. He walked over to the bookcase and moved his long, black-gloved fingers along the volumes until they rested on the item he was looking for, and withdrew it from the shelf.

He opened the leather case reverently and removed the seemingly ancient snow globe. It appeared so delicate against the hugeness of his hand, yet the weight of the glass seemed to hold the memories of a thousand years. He pulled the case's velvet padding aside and reached inside for the flimsiplast document and datacard that went with it. He withdrew his own datapad from his case on the desk and synced the data that his personal financier had prepared before his trip to Vjun into the data card from the case. He folded the flimsiplast, put the datacard inside the flimsicover and dripped the wax onto the closure and sealed it with the insignia of Bast.

The deed to Varykino – how long had it been since his thoughts had strayed there? It seemed like at least twice a day now, he though derisively. He tilted the globe and set it down to watch the snow cover the courtyard inside the glass globe.

The street was covered in vibrant hues of pink and yellow in the village in the Lake Country. Anakin loved Naboo in the spring. He didn't think there could be anything that could make him unhappy at this moment. He was on a ten-day leave from the war, the war that looked like it might end soon, and had just spent the most amazing night with his wife. His arrival had been late, but they still made time to enjoy each other's company.

Padmé loved the market and, upon waking this morning, she made Anakin promise to escort her through the streets of the tiny village to gather some items to take back to Coruscant.

"Ani. Ani, wake up." Padmé shook her husband by the shoulder. She pulled Anakin's freshly laundered Jedi robe on over her nightgown. She loved wearing it when he returned, the feeling of closeness and comfort that only something of Ani's could bring.

"Hrmmph." Anakin turned and pulled the covers over his face. It slowly registered through the fog in his mind that he didn't have a stitch of clothes on. "Come back to bed, its freezing." He held his arm out to her from beneath the covers.

"I want to go to the village and see the market," Padmé said as she lightly touched the skin at his hairline. She knew this would wake him, he was insanely ticklish.

Anakin shook Padmé's finger away and turned over, pushing the covers from this face. "You are making me get up, after tiring me so last night," he said, raising his brows.

Padmé laughed. "I'm serious, Ani. I want to go. I want to show you off, my own personal handsome Jedi protector," she said. "Come on." She shook him again.

"Do I at least get breakfast?" he asked.

"No. You've been very naughty this morning," she said, barely concealing her laughter behind her mock sulk.

"Actually, no I haven't. But I will…," Anakin said as he reached and puller her against him and threw the covers over both of them.

"Ani! It is late! I want to get up now, we have to use our days wisely. Ani!" Padmé laughed. "Ani, come now. We have to get ….Oh, Anakin…." Suddenly, coherent thought wasn't within her grasp as her husband did wonderful, but terribly hard to resist things to change her mind about getting out of bed. Padmé was never able to deny him when he took charge of the situation.

An hour and a half later, Anakin hummed to himself as he drew his boots on. Padmé handed him his lightsaber and he clipped it to his belt. He stood up and reached for her hand. Padmé placed her hand in his as they walked to the veranda to catch the gondola.

The sun lit tiny fairy lights from the waves of the lake, making them dance with each gentle lap against the shore. Padmé sat watching her husband wade to ankle deep in the water.

"You're going to ruin your boots!"

Anakin turned his head to look back at her, biting the laughter back. "Yes, I should have thought of that. After all, I've never been in anything as dirty as this," he said as turned back to the lake.

Padmé curled her lip and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I will come make you use that tongue in proper ways if you don't watch out," he smirked.

She picked up a piece of bread a lobbed it towards him. "I believe I'll find another husband, one who will sit with me. I need attention lavished on me, and you, Master Skywalker, are just not getting the job done." She watched a bird fly overhead in the distance. "Here, throw more of the bread so the bird will come," she said as she tossed a couple of more pieces of bread to the ground near him.

Anakin turned back to regard his wife with a gleam in his eye. "You want birds?"

He turned back to the lake and held out both arms from his sides palms up. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the sky.

"Anakin, you goof. What are y-…"

"Shhhh. Just be still and quiet."

Suddenly, Padmé saw them - birds coming from all directions over the lake. She got up from the blanket. "Ani...?"

The birds then lit delicately on Anakin's arms and the shoreline around him. They were some of the most beautiful birds she had ever seen, their colors vibrant and beautiful in the sunshine. It was a breathtaking sight. She noticed a water otter trying to make its way towards Ani and the fish jumping out in waves just ahead. He was conducting a symphony of nature, just for her.

She swallowed a lump in her throat and thought to herself, I love this man more than life itself. What did I ever do before he came into my life? She stood there silently for a minute, watching in awe, then started walking towards him. A tiny blue and red bird perched on Anakin's left shoulder looked at her intently as she made her way towards them. Finally, Anakin slowly moved his arms out in a forward-sweeping motion and the birds began to fly away. He turned around to find his wife standing right in front of him.

Padmé stood on her toes and took his head into her hands. She pulled him down into the sand with her as the tiny waves lapped against their bodies. Breaking free of Padmé's kiss, he raised himself on both arms above her. "What in the moons of Yavin brought this on? You are getting your dress soaked," he added between gulps of air.

"I don't care," she said breathlessly as she pulled him back to her.

The sun set in a brilliant orange-gold display behind the mountains as the caretaker, Paddy Accu, steered the gondola to the dock. Anakin got out and held his hand out for Padmé. She daintily took it and their laughter echoed from the veranda as they went inside.

After they had changed out of their damp clothes, Padmé went to consult with Teckla on dinner. She had decided to have a light supper in the den with her husband. Anakin went to meditate on the veranda. He had taken his comlink with him just in case there were any communications he needed to return to Coruscant, as he wasn't carrying the blasted thing around with him while he was on leave. It had already gotten dark and two of Naboo's three moons shone over the top of the mountains, making the night crisp and clear. He called Artoo inside and closed the double doors, shutting out the night.

When he turned around, Padmé was standing at the door of the den, a tray with two plates of food and two glasses of bubbly blossom wine. Anakin made a concerted effort to close his mouth at the sight of his wife's attire. Padmé stood before him in the gown she had worn on their wedding night, the fluffy white chiffon over robe parted to show her white bustier and thigh high stockings. She wore her hair down in waves, still partially wet from her shower. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes had a smoky haze that made Anakin want to forget dinner. She set the tray on the table beside the entrance moved slowly to stand in front of him.

Still reeling, Anakin robotically reached to pull her into his embrace as she drew him into a kiss that seared his soul. When she was satisfied that Anakin was sufficiently under her spell, she led him to the sofa in front of the fireplace where the fire matched her mood. She guided Anakin to sit on the sofa and sat beside him. She took his left hand in hers and kissed the tips of his fingers, never letting her eyes leave his. She smiled to herself. Anakin's eyes had taken on the dark smoky blue that spoke of the depth of his feelings for her. She had him now.

She leaned toward him, her voice soft and husky. "Would you like dinner?"

"No."

"Good, I'd like to hear more about that kiss becoming a scar," she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I'm not in the mood to talk. It's so over rated," he said as he slid his hand behind her hair at the nape of her neck and drew her toward him slowly.

"I agree," she said breathlessly. Her heart thrummed beneath her chest as Anakin's fingers gently massaged her neck. Finally, his lips found hers and they lost themselves in each other, both wanting to ward off the galaxy for as long as possible.

If it weren't for the breathing machine, Darth Vader wouldn't have thought himself able to draw breath. The memories that he had kept locked up for so long assailed him like the sands of a Tatooine storm. Before he'd found Luke, he hadn't thought of her except in his weakest moments, his ability to draw the Dark Side in to ward off memories of another life kept him centered. Since Bespin, she would come to him at the oddest times, floating just above his consciousness. Like an angel. This particular memory was always the most painful. It was the last time they were happy. It was when their son was conceived. Darth Vader stood suddenly, fighting desperately to regain control of his emotions.

He walked to the balcony outside the study, the snow had stopped and all that was left was a bleak gray mist. He heard the sound of a hura lark over the distant rooftops, and without thinking, he held out both arms and tipped his head to the sky. The mask didn't allow for the freedom of too much mobility in his neck, but it would suffice. He closed his eyes inside the mask and tentatively reached for something in the Force that hadn't been touched in over twenty years. At first that place felt raw, like a wound just sewn back together, then suddenly it opened before him like the blossom of a wilting flower. The birds landed from everywhere. Their claws gripped the leather on his arms. They landed at his feet and on the ground around him. Vader smiled sadly to himself. For you, Padmé.

to be continued…