HHG
Arthur/Ford
PG
Disclaimer: Don't own it. No offense is intended.
A/N: If you don't like slash couplings then you shouldn't be reading this. Reviews are hearted, flames are accepted. However, flames are also printed out, and pasted to my kitchen cupboards so I can laugh and mock them while making coffee before class every morning.
Somewhere in Chapter 23 of : Life the Universe and Everything
((Bold text is straight from the book and isn't mine))
It Starts to Sink In
Part 2
The party had turned out to be a bust, literally, when the robots of Krikkit showed up with a loud "whop." Ford Prefect had a suspicion this would be the case even when they arrived. He recalled grabbing a few items he felt would be useful in the future, an unopened bottle, a bag of potato chips, and Slartibartfast who had hold of the teleport device which would ensure him not to die. Also, he had planned to grab his friend Arthur Dent, but decided against it after seeing the mess the Earthman was getting himself into. Arthur had been trying to extricate one Tricia McMillian from the albeit large, but loving clutches of a Thunder God.
Ford had the unusual feeling of terror gripping his chest when he saw Thor raising his enormous hammer with what was obviously violent intent toward the small figure of Arthur. By some unfathomable reasoning of the universe, Arthur was not crushed into a blaze of lightning, but managed to trick Thor into leaving. They all thus escaped very much unscathed.
When they all emerged on the bridge of the spaceship Bistromath, Ford found himself still breathing heavily. There was no doubt in his mind that Arthur should have been smashed, but he was standing next to him breathing heavily too. The Betelgeuse equivalent for "tears of relief" began to make themselves a nice home in the eyes of Ford Prefect. It should be mentioned that men from small planets in the vicinity of Betelgeuse do not normally need this amount of moisture in the eye region. Ford himself had never experienced this much of an emotional reaction to anything, with the exception of one trip to an Earth Astronomy exhibit. He had not been able to explain that reaction either. Ford tried to blink the tears into nonexistence.
When they persisted he thought, ' Don't Panic,' and focused his attention on the person he was pretty sure had evoked such an emotional response.
" You are a BLOODY lunatic!" He yelled at Arthur Dent.
Arthur reeled back a few feet.
" Eh-" was the only thing he could come up with in response.
" What the hell did you think you were doing?"
" Huh?"
" I'm not sure about some of the rules that were on Earth, but being that I was on that miserable heap for fifteen years I'll make an educated guess and say that taking on a Thunder God is probably NOT up there on things you should do!" Ford fumed. Tears he had generated earlier were now evaporating due to the heat from his anger.
Arthur Dent's wits finally caught up to him.
" Well someone had to save Trillian!" Arthur shouted to make his words seem as important as the ones Ford was shouting.
Not to be out done Ford increased his own decibel level.
" If you had been paying attention, Trillian wasn't exactly in need of any saving."
" Yes she was, Ford. Weren't you Trillian?"Arthur paused.
Her reaction was not what he had planned. He had thought that Trillian would have agreed with him furtively, and thus driving home his side of the argument. When she shrugged vaguely and made a small sighing sound he decided to plow ahead anyway.
" If I hadn't stepped in she might have been carted off by that- that- Thor man."
"God." Slartibartfast corrected, fiddling with the controls that would open the door to the bridge.
" Fine, god. The point is I was rather brave to stand up to a god to save a good friend from a sticky end."
" No you were being foolish."
" You're just mad because I'm not a coward."
"Huh?" Ford's voice lowered.
" Oh no! The great Ford Prefect, froodiest hitchhiker that he is stood cowering behind an old man, while his friend courageously stood up to a deity. A friend, that up until now, has been seen as quite a puss I should expect."
" All right," shouted Ford at Arthur, " so I'm a coward, the point is I'm still alive."
The argument seemed to die out from there, and Slartibartfast went to the couch in front of the piloting controls. Briefly Arthur tried to engage his help, but he reasoned that there were much more pressing matters than the quarrel of the two men. Trillian also became tired of their bickering, grabbed Ford's potato chips while he was distracted, and went to find herself some answers. Arthur inquired about her whereabouts in an unconcerned tone as he continued to fume from his argument with Ford.
" And where are my potato chips?" said Ford.
" They are both," said Slartibartfast, without looking up, " in the room of Informational Illusions. I think that your young lady friend is trying to understand some problems of Galactic history. I think the potato chips are probably helping her."
Ford and Arthur stood, backs to each other, huffing in frustration for long minutes until Slartibartfast finally turned to them and said, " Please, take your childish argument out of this room. You are very distracting."
"Fine."
"Fine." Arthur echoed and they both stalked into the hallway.
Slartibartfast rubbed his temples trying to coax the headache to go away, and directed the Bistromath to its destination.
It has been said by many a philosopher over time and space that war is very simple. To win you must beat back your opponent at all costs. There is no dealing in matters of the heart. However, when matters of said organ to play a role in a disagreement, especially between two sides whose heartly matters run along the same lines, it often creates complications that lengthen the time of the disagreement. Situations also do not clear up when both sides are as stubborn as The Buggblatter Beast of Traal. Thusly, our particular war raged on in a small hallway of the ship.
" I think you're just angry because I thought to do something you hadn't."
" No, I'm angry because I didn't know you had a death wish."
This was, in fact, very close, but not quite the reason Ford was angry.
" What's that suppose to mean?"
" If I had known you weren't fond of living, I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of rescuing you."
" Rescuing me?"
" I wouldn't have bothered to save you when the Earth bit the dust."
This also was almost entirely untrue.
Arthur's blood felt as if it were turning to ice inside his veins. A large, angry glare spread across his features. Arthur Dent was extremely offended, and in about three seconds time he would let Ford know this.
So, it should be noted here what Ford Prefect was actually feeling toward Arthur Dent. As the following explosions of dialog exchanged may lead one to believe otherwise. Ford was indeed upset with his friend, however not in the way he was currently carrying on about. He was just now realizing something he had not considered when he saved Arthur from the Earth. Nor had the thought approached his mind during the excitement, adventures, and other really wild things occurring at frequent rates in his vicinity. The thought was this... Why? Why had he done it?
Arthur Dent's thoughts seemed to be running along those exact lines because he spat, " Then why the hell did you bother?"
Ford adjusted his bag and stared at the sky. Only a few minutes to go, and he would be back out in space, hitchhiking away until his froody little heart exploded with glee. Only fifteen minutes until his time on Earth was done. Ford passed by a bunch of bulldozers on his way to the pub. On further inspection, he realized they were lined up in front of his friend Arthur Dent's house. ' Poor chap,' Ford thought and continued walking.
Arthur was a nice enough guy, a little slow at times, but what earthman was quick when it came to brains? Not many, Ford mused. Ford Prefect halted and winced when a loud shriek of, " Oh shut up! Shut up and go away, and take your bloody bypass with you. You haven't got a leg to stand on and you know it." It was most certainly Arthur's voice. Something unknown to Ford tightened in his chest.
When he tried to move, his body would not allow it. Quickly he looked around from some kind of gravity device causing his disability, but when none was found he reasoned it was of his own body's will. ' Just forget him, Ford,' he tried to berate himself, ' it's sad, but the theology works. Has worked, will work!'
Ford looked at his watch. Thirteen minutes to go. Rather than stand there and try to figure out what exactly had made his body rebel, Ford cursed loudly, startling a nearby construction worker, and marched toward the voices at the front of the demolition team.
"Belgium!" Ford swore again, and men literally moved five feet from his path, clearing the way. ' This is absolutely, zarking ridiculous! He's just a stupid ape. I shouldn't be risking life and limb for him. He's like a pet for pities sake!' Ford ranted internally.
The man from the vicinity of Betelgeuse whirled around the front of the bull dozer, took one look at his pajama clad friend, lying in thick mud, with a terribly resolute face on, and lost his nerve. ' I just want him to live.'
" Hello, Arthur," Ford had managed to say softly.
The flashback over, Ford blinked rapidly a few times before fixing an unending blue gaze at Arthur Dent. He was hurt, and feeling vulnerable under the ape descendent's glare, and wanted nothing more at the moment than to be rid of that feeling.
" And I suppose you'd rather I hadn't? Well, I'll remember that the next time we're in mortal peril." Ford tried to walk away.
In a surprising flurry of movement, Arthur stepped in front of his escape route.
" That didn't answer the question, Ford."
Unable to cope with the situation, and by now having totally lost his cool, Ford's baser instincts grabbed hold of his tongue and forced him to shout, " I just didn't want you to die! Is that so hard to for you to wrap your tiny little brain around? Don't get me wrong earthman, I tried to leave the planet with out you, zark it all, but I couldn't! You were lying in that mud looking so stubborn and innocent to everything that was going on around you... I thought for a second what it might be like hitchhiking again, but for some reason my imagination wouldn't let me think about it without you there in the picture!"
Ford was advancing with his teeth bared, and Arthur began to back away with one hand covering his jugular.
" I have tried so hard to keep you alive, Arthur. You have no idea the stress that runs through me every time we get separated. What you did today, taking on that Thunder God was completely insane! I don't know what in the hell I would do if something actually managed to kill you... But if you're so determined, then you can do what you like, because I don't need that kind of stress hanging over my head."
The two men were so close that their noses touched. And against his better judgment Arthur Dent's inherent biological stupidity blurted out, " Sod off. I don't need you."
Stepping back and regaining his froody exterior, Ford nodded consent, and walked back toward the bridge. The man from Earth slumped against the wall, and in a stroke of sudden, out of place and random, brilliance realized the reason for his flustered reactions toward Ford's presence during the party. Arthur's mind raced, and he opened his mouth to apologize to Ford's retreating figure, but was interrupted by Trillian exiting the room of Informational Illusions.
It would be some years before Arthur thought of any of this again, and by then, it would have been too late.
A/N again: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Please do so again, as there will be one more chapter to this story. And I need a boost to get it done. I doubt there will be a 3 month gap, as college classes for me are over. This chapter wasn't as great as the first, but I'll admit I have struggled with it. The third will live up to the first, all though it'll be shorter, it wraps things up nicely.