HG2G

Ford/Arthur

PG-13

Disclaimer: Don't own it. No offense is intended.

Disclaimer Two: If you don't like slash couplings then you shouldn't be reading this. Reviews are hearted, flames are accepted. However, flames are also printed out, and pasted to my kitchen cupboards so I can laugh and mock them while making coffee before class every morning.

(Lines straight from the book are placed in bold lettering so that YOU know they aren't mine. I, of course, already know they do not belong to me, but I put them there for you, the reader's sake. Trust me, you'd be lost with out them. I just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't taking credit for it.)

Chapter 39: So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

Chapter 25: Mostly Harmless major spoilers

A/N: Thanks to all who are reviewing. This is the final chapter, but please do let me know how you liked it. Or didn't like, whatever... And for those of you who are in need of something a little dirtier after this, I'll take this opportunity to pimp my other HG2G fic "The Tea Is Cold." It's been fun! Also this is unbeta-ed.

IN HONOR OF TOWEL DAY: MAY 25TH 2005. We miss you Douglas.

It Starts to Sink In

Part 3

Years and adventures ticked by in the galaxy, and indeed so did the digital watch on Arthur Dent's wrist. The watch itself had stopped working properly some time ago, but being that Arthur was indeed human, he found it comforting to keep the useless piece securely attached to his person at all times. The digital watch even bathed with the poor man, who wandered about the galaxy aimlessly.

That is until his planet appeared once more. After a series of extraordinary events, and yet again escaping his planet, Arthur and his watch, found themselves on a space ship, implemented into their lives by Arthur's former best friend and now long time acquaintance Ford Prefect. Another had joined the earthman's life. A nice young lady by the name of Fenchurch. It was now what could be said to be a very late hour, and Arthur was having trouble sleeping. The sound of guns startled him awake every time he managed to fall asleep.

Being careful not to wake Fenchurch, who was still managing to sleep fitfully, he slid his way out of the maintenance hatchway that they had fashioned into a kind of bunk for themselves, slung himself down the access ladder, and prowled the corridors moodily.

Eventually he found his former friend Ford Prefect, and sat down to placidly watch Earth movies with him. Something was nagging at his mind, however, and his concentration kept wavering from the screen, to Ford, and then down to his watch. Arthur felt the need to say something, but when his brain was not participating in the decision to find something suitable, he gave up.

As time passed Arthur's body grew more and more relaxed, and stopped trying to locate the reason behind his uncomfortable agitation toward Ford. It was uncharacteristic, Arthur acknowledged for Ford to be in this much excitement over something Earth related. It puzzled the human enough that he suddenly felt like he should say something again.

"Ford," he said eventually, when it was all over, and Ford was hunting through a stack of cassettes for the tape of Casablanca, " how come if..."

In fact, when Ford began to rummage excitedly in the pile of video tapes for Casablanca, Arthur could not help noticing his own body becoming excited as well. His heart beat a little faster, his breath caught a few times at the facial expressions Ford made, and when in the search for the elusive object, their hands landed on it in unison his rapidly pumping heart nearly stopped dead. Arthur felt a warm shiver spread from his finger tips all the way up his arm and down his spine, where he lost track of it. Ford Prefect was eying him with suspicion.

" This is the big one," said Ford.

Arthur started a bit at this, and had the humility to blush as well. It faded immediately when Ford turned away and placed the tape into the player. The familiar feeling of his brain racing for answers filled Arthur to the brim. He vaguely registered Ford asking him questions, and while the majority of his inner thoughts were working hard, his autopilot sections answered. This was not the first time he had had a reaction such as this to Ford's presence, but what was troubling him was the memory of when was escaping him. Then Ford asked a question that brought him back.

" How come if what?"

" What?"

" You started to say, ' how come if...'"

" How come if you're so rude about the Earth, that you..."

Suddenly it was there. " Then why the hell did you bother?"

The whole scene replayed itself for Arthur's benefit. " Sod off. I don't need you."

He thought of Fenchurch back in the make-shift bunk and turned his head away from Ford's gaze. "... Oh, never mind, let's just watch the movie."

"Exactly," said Ford.

Human beings, as a rule, find it most convenient to pick up on something where they left off. It is the sense of familiarity, and/or the notion of security in life, which leads these creatures to this end of predictability. So to ease the mind of several distressed readers the story will now repeat a sentence very familiar to them.

It would be some years before Arthur thought of any of this again, and by then, it would have been too late.

Now sufficiently comforted we continue to the end.

It was indeed several years after that this scene was replaying in Arthur Dent's mind. In fact it came to him at a very extreme and final moment in his life. Fenchurch was long gone and his daughter, by way of Trillian, had just shot a man who Arthur was sure he recognized. Arthur sat on the stairs with his head between his hands and had not the faintest idea what to do. Ford was sitting on the stair beneath him.

"This mean anything to you?" he said.

Arthur Dent looked at the pack of matches that Ford handed to him. Upon it was inscribed the name of the club they were at. Indeed, this meant many things to Arthur. It came as somewhat of a shock and he looked back at Ford momentarily with what he was certain would be a worried glance. He knew this was going to happen eventually, but he had not anticipated it happening so soon. He wondered what he should do, but he only wondered it idly.

The planet was being ripped apart around him. This was going to be the one time he would be unable to escape his planet's destruction. It all seemed a bit wasteful, really. Weren't you suppose to have found something of value on the journey through life? Supposedly, the answer to that was Forty-Two. Arthur thought about this instead. He could not, however, think of anything he had found of value on his journey. And his had been a big journey. That number must mean something other than the meaning. Arthur's brain tumbled and came to rest upon the number on the address of the club: 42. Through the strangeness of noise and light he could just make out the shape of Ford Prefect sitting back and laughing wildly.

This was it. This was the defining moment in anyone's life; the moment of their death, and Arthur was spending it staring at the man that he had spent so much of the important parts of his life with. It turns out that Arthur Dent did not mind this much at all. In a whirl of brilliance the galaxy had never before seen, nor would see again, Arthur found his 'something of value.'

On the evaporating planet of Earth, in a club with terrified people frantically rushing around, Arthur Dent leaned the few spaces in front of him it took to connect his mouth with Ford Prefect's. The wild laughter ceased immediately, and lips parted in response. Ford's arms craned up to pull Arthur in closer. The earthman whispered something short and meaningful that went unheard to everyone but the one who was supposed to receive it. Ford smiled against his lips and swallowed the confession into the next and last kiss.

The thrashing of the planet went unnoticed by either of them, but specially to Arthur. A tremendous feeling of peace came over him, and as the number forty-two melted away outside with the rest of the street front, he knew that at last, for once and forever, it was now all, finally, over.

A/N again: Sorry about the ending, but I had to keep with the storyline. If it feels a bit rushed toward the end it's because I knew that some people would not heed the Spoiler Warning for Mostly Harmless, and decided that I wasn't going to go into too much detail about what was going on. For those of you who I caused serious angst with ending that last chapter the way I did, I'm sorry too. This whole fanfic was inspired by this scene in Mostly Harmless. I thought it was great that when dying the last thing Arthur sees is Ford being Ford.