Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. His Majesty, George Lucas, does. Lucky
son of a gun. Although, you think that he could hurry up with Episode III,
don't you? We don't even know the title yet! Hurry it up, George! I'm
quickly losing my interest in Star Wars. That's why I'm writing this
totally insane random fic!
Ahem, ranting and raving over. You may read Chapter 8 now (review please).
Chapter 8
As they were walking down the street, Alicia said, "Hey, guys, wanna hear a joke?"
The other two girls shrugged as if to say, "Go ahead."
"Okay, here goes. Torie walked out of the bar," Alicia said, laughing.
Alee started laughing. Torie didn't think it was that funny, and almost started another bar fight, minus the bar, of course.
However, she stopped, and while looking at something the ground, her eyes grew to about the size of dinner plates (a very funny mental image, mind you).
Torie bent down to pick something up off of the ground, sniffed it, and then popped it into her mouth.
"Candy!" she yelled.
Alee and Alicia looked, and sure enough, there was a long trail of candy on the ground to which they couldn't see the end.
Torie was already on all fours, scarfing down all the candy she could along the way.
Never ones to pass up a free sugar buzz, Alee and Alicia followed suit, getting on all fours and going along next to Torie, eating the long line of candy.
What the three did not see was that the trail of candy, purposely set down be someone we will reveal later, led, um, somewhere.
Almost an hour later, the three girls found themselves at the end of the candy trail. They also found themselves in someone's basement.
Looking around, Alicia asked, "Hey, doesn't this place look familiar?"
SLAM! Right after she said this, a cage came down from the ceiling, trapping all three girls. I had been (gasp) a trap all along! (Bet none of you expected that!)
Suddenly, a very, (Erm, what's a polite way to say this?) "I'm a man who feels pretty, oh so pretty" laugh was heard. The sad thing is that he was trying to sound evil.
And was failing. Miserably.
"You know, I get the weirdest feeling that I've heard that voice before," Alee muttered to her friends.
Then, the mysterious laugher stepped into the light.
"Ahh! Owen Lars!" Alee and Alicia screamed when they saw him.
Owen stopped laughing and stared at the girls. "How do you know my name?" he asked. "Oh, yes, I must have a reputation among the young female population."
He started flexing his rather pathetic looking muscles.
Torie then spoke up. "Oh! I know where we've seen this place before! This is the basement of that Owen Lars guy!"
Alicia and Alee just slapped their hands to their foreheads.
However, they were distracted by the fact that Owen had started stripping.
"Oh, man. I cannot believe we actually fell for the candy from the pervert thing," Alee said under her breath.
"Come on, ladies," Owen said, "start stripping! It's fun!"
Torie and Alee grimaced and nearly threw up. Alicia looked up at Owen, nose wrinkled, and said, "Um, hell no."
"I'll give you candy," Owen said, holding up a handful of the little candies that had gotten them there.
Torie suddenly forgot how repulsed she was and started taking off her belt.
"Torie!" Alee and Alicia screamed, smacking her on the head.
"What?" Torie yelled, rubbing her head.
"Torie, you almost took your clothes off for a psychopathic pedophile!" Alicia replied, while Alee gave a cough that sounded slightly like "Michael Jackson!"
Torie thought for a moment, then grimaced. "Eww! You're right! Thanks, guys."
"No problem," Alee said. When she looked over at Owen, she saw that he was in his boxers. Then, she started screaming.
"Help! Help! Holy crap, he's gonna be naked! HELP!" Then Alicia and Torie joined in. "HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE US! HELP!"
Owen laughed his "I'm trying to sound evil but sounding really stupid in the process" laugh. "We're miles away from all other civilization! No one can save you know! Muhahaha! MUHAHAHAHA!"
"Is that so?" a very familiar man's voice said.
Owen shrieked, tried to cover himself with his hands, and promptly passed out.
"Curly!" Alicia yelled.
And sure enough, Jango Fett stepped out of the shadows. He looked down at Owen, who was twitching on the floor, unconscious. "Sick, sick man," Jango muttered.
Alee and Torie were about to point out that the whole "Zam, will you turn into a man so I can have a different kind of lovin' going on" thing was sick too, but as Jango had just saved all of their precious virgin eyes, decided not to.
Jango pushed a button on the nearby control panel and the cage went back into the ceiling.
"My hero!" Alicia yelled, jumping on Jango, tackling him to the floor.
Torie and Alee expected for Jango to start screaming "Get her off of me!" but he didn't. In fact, he looked as if he were truly enjoying himself.
Alicia also noticed this. "Um, Mr. Fett, er, sorry, Jango? Are you sure it's alright for me to do this?"
"Sure. Why not?" Jango replied, causing Alicia's eyes to widen with glee. "In fact, now that I've known you for a while, you kind of remind me of Zam."
Everything about Jango's answer would have been fine to Alicia, except for that last word.
"I remind you of WHO?" Alicia screamed.
"Zam," Jango repeated.
"Why you...you..." Alicia couldn't seem to find words to express her rage.
Jango obviously didn't notice, as he started walking out the door.
The three girls moved to follow, but not before giving Owen some punishment.
Torie kicked him in the head, then bent down and took all of the candy out of his discarded clothes.
Alicia, who was still furious at Jango, kicked Owen twice in the crotch, muttering curses under her breath.
Alee rolled him over onto his back, kicked him a few times, and then started jumping up and down on his back.
"Alee, um, what the hell are you doing?" Alicia asked.
"Yeah, I think we got him back for the whole stripping thing," Torie said.
"Not yet, just a few more jumps..." Alee breathed. CRACK! The sound of ribs breaking filled the room.
Alee stepped off of him, smiling. "Now, we got him back," she said.
Author's note: From here on out, the things that happen are the work of Kaisa and myself, mostly. We spent over two hours on the phone coming up with all of this. I do sincerely apologize to whoever got that phone bill.
Ahem, ranting and raving over. You may read Chapter 8 now (review please).
Chapter 8
As they were walking down the street, Alicia said, "Hey, guys, wanna hear a joke?"
The other two girls shrugged as if to say, "Go ahead."
"Okay, here goes. Torie walked out of the bar," Alicia said, laughing.
Alee started laughing. Torie didn't think it was that funny, and almost started another bar fight, minus the bar, of course.
However, she stopped, and while looking at something the ground, her eyes grew to about the size of dinner plates (a very funny mental image, mind you).
Torie bent down to pick something up off of the ground, sniffed it, and then popped it into her mouth.
"Candy!" she yelled.
Alee and Alicia looked, and sure enough, there was a long trail of candy on the ground to which they couldn't see the end.
Torie was already on all fours, scarfing down all the candy she could along the way.
Never ones to pass up a free sugar buzz, Alee and Alicia followed suit, getting on all fours and going along next to Torie, eating the long line of candy.
What the three did not see was that the trail of candy, purposely set down be someone we will reveal later, led, um, somewhere.
Almost an hour later, the three girls found themselves at the end of the candy trail. They also found themselves in someone's basement.
Looking around, Alicia asked, "Hey, doesn't this place look familiar?"
SLAM! Right after she said this, a cage came down from the ceiling, trapping all three girls. I had been (gasp) a trap all along! (Bet none of you expected that!)
Suddenly, a very, (Erm, what's a polite way to say this?) "I'm a man who feels pretty, oh so pretty" laugh was heard. The sad thing is that he was trying to sound evil.
And was failing. Miserably.
"You know, I get the weirdest feeling that I've heard that voice before," Alee muttered to her friends.
Then, the mysterious laugher stepped into the light.
"Ahh! Owen Lars!" Alee and Alicia screamed when they saw him.
Owen stopped laughing and stared at the girls. "How do you know my name?" he asked. "Oh, yes, I must have a reputation among the young female population."
He started flexing his rather pathetic looking muscles.
Torie then spoke up. "Oh! I know where we've seen this place before! This is the basement of that Owen Lars guy!"
Alicia and Alee just slapped their hands to their foreheads.
However, they were distracted by the fact that Owen had started stripping.
"Oh, man. I cannot believe we actually fell for the candy from the pervert thing," Alee said under her breath.
"Come on, ladies," Owen said, "start stripping! It's fun!"
Torie and Alee grimaced and nearly threw up. Alicia looked up at Owen, nose wrinkled, and said, "Um, hell no."
"I'll give you candy," Owen said, holding up a handful of the little candies that had gotten them there.
Torie suddenly forgot how repulsed she was and started taking off her belt.
"Torie!" Alee and Alicia screamed, smacking her on the head.
"What?" Torie yelled, rubbing her head.
"Torie, you almost took your clothes off for a psychopathic pedophile!" Alicia replied, while Alee gave a cough that sounded slightly like "Michael Jackson!"
Torie thought for a moment, then grimaced. "Eww! You're right! Thanks, guys."
"No problem," Alee said. When she looked over at Owen, she saw that he was in his boxers. Then, she started screaming.
"Help! Help! Holy crap, he's gonna be naked! HELP!" Then Alicia and Torie joined in. "HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE US! HELP!"
Owen laughed his "I'm trying to sound evil but sounding really stupid in the process" laugh. "We're miles away from all other civilization! No one can save you know! Muhahaha! MUHAHAHAHA!"
"Is that so?" a very familiar man's voice said.
Owen shrieked, tried to cover himself with his hands, and promptly passed out.
"Curly!" Alicia yelled.
And sure enough, Jango Fett stepped out of the shadows. He looked down at Owen, who was twitching on the floor, unconscious. "Sick, sick man," Jango muttered.
Alee and Torie were about to point out that the whole "Zam, will you turn into a man so I can have a different kind of lovin' going on" thing was sick too, but as Jango had just saved all of their precious virgin eyes, decided not to.
Jango pushed a button on the nearby control panel and the cage went back into the ceiling.
"My hero!" Alicia yelled, jumping on Jango, tackling him to the floor.
Torie and Alee expected for Jango to start screaming "Get her off of me!" but he didn't. In fact, he looked as if he were truly enjoying himself.
Alicia also noticed this. "Um, Mr. Fett, er, sorry, Jango? Are you sure it's alright for me to do this?"
"Sure. Why not?" Jango replied, causing Alicia's eyes to widen with glee. "In fact, now that I've known you for a while, you kind of remind me of Zam."
Everything about Jango's answer would have been fine to Alicia, except for that last word.
"I remind you of WHO?" Alicia screamed.
"Zam," Jango repeated.
"Why you...you..." Alicia couldn't seem to find words to express her rage.
Jango obviously didn't notice, as he started walking out the door.
The three girls moved to follow, but not before giving Owen some punishment.
Torie kicked him in the head, then bent down and took all of the candy out of his discarded clothes.
Alicia, who was still furious at Jango, kicked Owen twice in the crotch, muttering curses under her breath.
Alee rolled him over onto his back, kicked him a few times, and then started jumping up and down on his back.
"Alee, um, what the hell are you doing?" Alicia asked.
"Yeah, I think we got him back for the whole stripping thing," Torie said.
"Not yet, just a few more jumps..." Alee breathed. CRACK! The sound of ribs breaking filled the room.
Alee stepped off of him, smiling. "Now, we got him back," she said.
Author's note: From here on out, the things that happen are the work of Kaisa and myself, mostly. We spent over two hours on the phone coming up with all of this. I do sincerely apologize to whoever got that phone bill.