Chapter 19 to a LOST Love

After a while, it stopped raining, and Sayid practically flew out of the shelter to run back to the caves, leaving Kate and Sun in his dust. He kept praying he wasn't too late, even though his mind kept telling him he wasn't, that everything was fine.

Sayid ran for what seemed like forever. Suddenly, he tripped, and landed, chest first, with a crash on a thick fallen tree, causing the bowl to fly out of his hands. Watching it fall, his mouth a silent O, he was utterly amazed to see that it landed right side up and spun around without tipping over. Thank Allah, Sayid said mentally, breathing a huge sigh of relief. He got up and suddenly felt a terrible pain in his chest. He put his right hand to his left rib and felt where the fire was coming from. It hurt to even touch it, but he realized that he had broken a rib or two. Damn! he thought over and over. Damn, damn, damn!

Trying to ignore the pain, unsuccessfully, Sayid got up and picked the bowl up off the ground. He saw that a long crack had appeared on the side of it, but nothing was leaking out, a good sign. A good deed never goes unpunished, Sayid thought, an old saying of his mother's. Kind of a karma thing, only slightly more confusing... since the bowl was alright, he had to be in pain for its possible suffering that might have occurred had it shattered.

Walking back to the caves now, trying to breathe shallowly so as not to upset his ribs, he eventually came to the caves right as it started raining again. It wasn't just a light rain, oh no, it was pouring rain again.

Trying to shield the bowl and its contents with his body and one arm, Sayid stumbled under the caves' protective ceiling, soaking wet. When he looked around and his eyes adjusted to the darkness, his heart lurched in agony, making his ribs flare up in pain.

He saw Sawyer, holding Alex's hand to his chest tenderly, stroking her hair gently. "Come on, Alex, wake up," he was saying softly. He kept stroking her hair and face, unaware that Sayid was watching him. He looked up to see Sayid standing there and said, "Hey, Sayid, she fell asleep. She's getting worse…ah good you found the medicine."

Sayid didn't even hear him. All he heard was theintense pounding of his heart in his ears and watching Sawyer hold her hand. Sawyer's mouth still moved as he was talking, but Sayid heard none of it. He set the bowl down, very slowly as his ribs hurt him, turned around, and walked straight out into the rain. He didn't even hear Sawyer come to the edge of the cave and shout, "Sayid! Sayid!" at his back.

Sayid was in utter shock…how could he? How could Sawyer do that, right in front of him? Yes, Alex didn't even move a muscle, but Sawyer…Jealousy flared within Sayid's mind, sharp as a poker. One part of him felt like shouting to the dark sky, one part felt like breaking down and sobbing, one part of him felt like hitting something, one part felt absolute numbness…

Sayid felt like he was going to be sick. He noticed that Sawyer hadn't chased after him and that only made him madder. Curses flew through his head, right and left, though he never voiced them. He started to head one direction, then checked quickly to head another direction, and checked himself again. He was sort of pacing sporadically, never choosing a direction to head in.

Finally, after much sporadic pacing,Sayid stopped himself and stood rooted in the ground. If he couldn't go anywhere in those directions, why not go…up? Looking up toward the sky that was pouring down rain, Sayid squinted against the rain until he saw a tall palm tree, with leaves thrashingagainst the downpour. Making up his mind, he walked briskly over to the tree and looked for a part he could grab.

Finding one, Sayid gripped the tree and began to climb up it. He would grip the tree with both hands, hoist both feet up and set them against the trunk, and then he would push with his legs to reach upward with his hands. A very interesting way to climb, but efficient nonetheless…

Sayid suddenly lost his footing, but clung onto the trunk with both hands, a sweat breaking out. He didn't care about the rain, he didn't care that his hands hurt, he didn't care about Alex or Sawyer, and he simply didn't care about anything. He struggled to regain his footing and began his climb again. The top of that tree was his goal; all he wanted in the whole world at that moment was to reach the top of the tree.

Finally, after a lot of struggling, he made it. He hoisted himself so he was straddling a branch and rested. His ribs were on fire and when he lifted up his shirt to look, he saw a huge purpling bruise spreading around his whole rib area. He knew he probably shouldn't have made this climb, but he felt energized and elated that he made it to the top.

Resting there on the top, he realized that he had one hell of a view. He could see the beach and the rain hitting the water, making it look flat from where he was. He could look another direction and see the huge mountain and all of its forestry. Simply amazing…

Leaning back to revel in this new discovery, he felt something poke him in the back hard. Looking perturbed at being disrupted, Sayid reached around and felt something smooth, like wood or plastic. Turning around so he could see better, amidst the outcries of his ribs, he pulled on the thing and brought it around in front of him.

It was a knife…a huge knife with a hard, fire-blackened wood handle. The blade was lethal looking, though crudely carved. The blade had a lot of dents in it, like an Indian's arrowhead. The edges weren't exactly straight, but they weren't exactly jagged either; they were almost straight but then dents and cuts would carve into the blade, like they had chipped off there.

Sayid clutched onto the handle and turned it this way and that. The handle fit perfectly in his fist, so it was obviously a man's weapon. It couldn't be a tool; no human being would use a knife like that for rope cutting or meat chopping; no, it was a war weapon. A deadly one, Sayid assumed.

Looking down at the ground from his tall height, Sayid held the knife precariously over the ground, point down, and let it fall. It fell like an arrow straight toward the ground and sunk all the way into the wet earth, making a slight noise as it did. Sayid leaned back, enjoying that he was out of the rain, and slowly slipped into the deep oblivion of sleep, his mind flashing Alex's smiling face once more.

SO SAD!

A Bleeding Rose