Chapter 5 - Fifth Year: Promise
Lily sat up In her bed. She could not sleep, she had too many thoughts in her head to sleep, some of these confusing even her. She looked out the window. The moon that Illuminated the room shown brightly through the fog on the glass. Almost full, she thought to herself, pulling on her slippers and walking down the stairs to the common room.
Remus sat lounged on the couch across from the fire, wrapped in a blanket. His face illuminated by the flames that he stared through.
"Thought you'd be down here." she said sitting at his feet. "How are you feeling?"
"As always." he said distantly, he seemed to be lost in thought.
"Cold?" He asked holding out his arm with some of the blanket. She sat next to him, as he wrapped his arm and blanket around her.
"Are you going tomorrow?" she asked wrapping one arm around him. He nodded. "Shall I make you a get well soon card ?" she joked.
"Thank you." he laughed. "Why are you up?"
"I couldn't sleep knowing you were down her cold and alone." she hugged him with the one arm she had wrapped around him
"Thanks."
"No problem." She rested her head on him. She stared past the fire, it made her feel warmer, Drowsy. Her eye lids felt heavy, she struggled to keep them open. She needed to talk to him, about something she wasn't sure about, she didn't know what, But she needed to tell him. The sleep was winning her over.
"Remus" she said sleepily.
"Hmm?"
"I think some times," she said fighting the sleep, he nodded slowly. "I do not like to think what I do," she knew she was sleepy because she had no idea how she put her thoughts into words. " or why I think what I do, or even what I am thinking sometimes." Her eyes were closed completely now. "It's like I can feel things, and my mind tries to comprehend them. And somewhere I know what I feel, but I just don't what it means. But I think I get it-" she leaned over and put her face in his chest, and sighed real deep, " I think I love you." His face fell.
"Lily." his voice was so solid it broke her drowsiness. She opened her eyes. "No." Her heart fell in to the pit of her stomach. Why did I say that? she thought to herself Why did I even think that?
"What?" she was a little confused, but more or less it was that she just spoke something she never thought she had thought before.
"I love you. But you are like a sister to me."
"I didn't mean to-"
"You can't love me anything more than a friend." he took his gaze away from the fire now. He looked into her eyes with a pain she had never seen before. "you have to promise."
"Why?" Why did I ask that? She thought. What she didn't know was that her heart was telling her something, she just didn't know what it meant, so it took over her conscience..
"Because I don't want to hurt you. I can't break you heart, It would kill me. "
"Why would you?" When your heart starts to argue through you're mouth you know something is wrong, but this she said this on her own behalf, curious as to why he would ever think about hurting her.
"Because it's complicated, between James and my whole situation, and- and it would just happen." he sighed. "Do you promise?"
"I promise." he wrapped his other arm around her and gave her a soft hug. But he did not let her go, He held her close but loosely, and she held the blanket close to her, as well as she held him. After a moment, the sleep came back. Her eyelids weighed a ton, and his breathing lulled her into a soft dream...
He woke early the next morning, It was still very dark out, but the fire was still glowing. He felt lily's rhythmic breathing next to him. He sat up and left the blanket around her, she curled up a bit, causing some of her hair to fall across her face. She looks so beautiful, like a porcelain doll, he thought then mentally shook himself. He leaned over next to her, he had to wake her. But he couldn't, she looked so peaceful, like an angel. He moved the hair away from her face, revealing luscious lips. They looked so soft and he just could not stop looking at them, for how much he longed to kiss them even he didn't know. She is asleep, he thought, she would never know, it would never hurt her. He leaned in to kiss her, he couldn't do it, knowing what might possibly come of it, so he kissed her cheek, ever so softly.
"Lily" he whispered upon leaving her cheek. She stirred slightly. "Lily." He whispered a little louder. Her eyes opened slowly. "You have to get back to bed before people start getting up." she nodded and sat up.
She smiled at him. Having just woken up she was still to dazed to remember his words last night. She stood up stifling a yawn.
"Okay," she said "See you at breakfast?"
"Yeah." he sat back on the couch next to the blanket, staring into the fire again.
She walked slowly up the stairs. She felt something tickling her cheek, she snapped back in to her reality. She felt her heart Take a terrible throb, and slid down the wall in the stairwell, her head in her hands. How could I had said something like that to him? She felt herself overcome with tears, What was I thinking? He would never love me back. She felt her heart shatter, She did love him. Right there she sat weeping for a few moments before she felt her cheek tingling again. She lifted her hand to it. Softly tickling, It felt as though recently touched ...
A/N; sorry bout the alst chapter, it cut my line breaks,theres was a few time changes and POV changes but oh well!
NEXT CHAPTER: Tommarrow! yay!