Chapter 10 - Sixth Year: By the lake 2
Lily sat up next to Remus resting her back against the tree and staring dreamily at the lake. It was early November and quite cold. Remus wrapped an arm around her just as a cold wind whipped her fiery hair across her face. She lifted her hair away softly and looked over at Remus. He looked so different, so sad. His face looked fallen and pale and a bit more sickly than usual.
"What's wrong" lily questioned him wrapping her arms around him gently.
"Just thinking." He looked over at her- staring deeply into his face.
"'Bout what?" he looked at her eyes but quickly adverted his gaze. "You can tell me." he took a deep sigh.
"You," he answered as her face fell, and a sadness swept across the silence. "And about how I wish I could love you forever."
"You can" she said with a re-assuring smile
"You know I can't" he said looking back at the lake. Her face fell again.
"You can, you just won't" she said defiantly, holding back tears.
"No, I won't." she touched the side of his face with her hand, feeling a lump in her throat at the thought of not having him. "Don't you think it's a bit suspicious that you haven't had a boyfriend in two years?"
"No." she said with such un-caring bluntness that he wondered if she truly believed this would work forever.
"Well, other people will, and they'll raise their suspicions." he prompted.
"Let them have them." she said defiantly
"I most certainly will not." he said so plainly it hurt her. "You know we can't go on forever. I'm not meant to have someone in my life."
"How can you say that?"
"How can you be so blind?" these were the words that caused her tears to fall. "I'm sorry" he whispered hanging his head.
"Why not Remus, why can't it work? And don't say anything about lycanthropy."her voice started getting louder. "You know we could make it, we are right now. We could just run away together after school's over. Never see anybody again -not James- not anyone. We couldlive happily ever after..."
"What about during the full moon, lily? What am I supposed to do? What about a job, lily? We can't just live off nothing, and It's nearly impossible for anyone like- me- to get a job." She sat in a stupor of silence.
"So you're saying we should break it off now then?" she asked, letting more tears stain her windswept face.
"No," he said wiping her tears away. "And I never said I didn't love you. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, Lily Evans" She smile at him. "I just know I can't give you the happy ending you deserve-"
"Yes you can. My happy ending is with you" she pleaded.
"No, it's not. You aren't meant for me - no one is." he stared off in the distance looking older than usual, after a moment he continued on. "James, you know."
"- I know-" she interrupted quietly and rudely.
"-you are meant for someone like him." he continued ignoring her. "He's even changed for you and I know you've noticed-"
"-I have-"
"Maybe you were meant for him?"
"Maybe I was- but what about you?"
"I'd be so much happier knowing you were safe with him than un-safe with me"
"I guess, and you're point is-?"
"I'd be happy knowing that you were safe."
"-and?"
"With James, a person I know loves you, and would do anything for you"
"You want me to end up with James?" she asked skeptically "- I'd rather die with you than end up with James..."
"I could never have that!"
"At least I'd know I had you-"
"You can still have me."
"What do you mean? Be un-faithful-?"
"No, I mean- until you end up with James."
"And exactly how far away is that?" she added hopefully noting it was as far away as possible.
"Before he gives up on you-"
"And how far away is that?"
"Well, He claims, that he's already given up, but I find that his quietness and new found maturity, is just a way for him to make you realize that he's not a jerk-"
"- so never?"
"No. But maybe you should just tell him... something- anything- for him to realize that you like him- even if it just is as a friend for now?"
"I should?"
"Yes, and be sincere. He really likes you." this conversation was beginning to get too serious for lily.
"Wow, Remus you really love me-" she stated sarcastically "-you're already planning who I'm going to marry!" she laughed. He looked over at her displaying a smug smile playing across his face sincerely. He seemed less pale at that moment. She looked over her shoulder and around the grounds before kissing him softly on the lips.
"I'll talk to him okay?" she said after breaking apart from him. "I don't know If I'll marry him, but I will talk to him- for you..."
He pulled her in for another kiss, one more sweeping than the last, and a bit more playful, but just as sweet ...
A/N; "tis better than to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" where's that from? anyone know? gah!I did 4 different versions of this chapter, one of which wasn't even like this at ALL in any way. and I'm super sorry It took so long, butI expected more reveiws than just what- 4! geeze... whatever, and I was only kidding about 16- even thoughI do have sixteen total... I'll have another chap up sometime this weekI promise!