Hello you people. I noticed a suspicious lack of this kind of story on fanfic, so I took the time to write this, so you wouldn't all be so deprived. It has a different style for those of you wondering. Not exactly Colfer's, but still compelling. I think you'll like it. In the meantime, rest assured, I am still working on the sequel to Dead Dreams. Slowly. Ideas are still welcome. I'm trying to reshape a very out of control story, and it's being difficult with me.

I know there's not much evidence to support this story, and I have hardly any knowledge or bodyguards and weaponry and such. (Do any of you ever wonder how Colfer learned all that stuff? Think about it. He might be dangerous after all.) Anyway, it sounds like the kind of thing Juliet would get herself into, and I had to write it. I apologize if I utterly destroy every aspect of the martial arts and all of that stuff. I do not know what I'm talking about.

The Anthonys are a family like the Butlers. Treat them as such. I know their not mentioned, but they make sense, so I made it up. Live with it, and live with me. I've gotten carried away again, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be telling you this story.

For those of you who I know will notice, please disregard the last story I wrote. It has nothing to do with this one, and did not, in other words, happen. Read this like you hadn't read Dead Dreams.

Reviews, as always, are extremely welcome. You who do not review: Your evils will condemn you in the day of judgment. :) Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Write me if you want, I'm waiting.

Lastly, those of you wondering, yes, the title does have a double meaning;)

Disclaimer: Juliet Butler and all references to the Artemis Fowl series are in the sole possession of Eoin Colfer. I do not own anything except everything else.

Juliet, as always, was getting into trouble. First, she had missed her plane for the wrestling tour. Then, she had trapped herself on the roof of a very high building. Neither of those things were very good.

Of course, she had a reason, but Dom would not have been pleased. Not at all. After all, "Excuses are reasons no one believes, and reasons are excuses they believe anyway."

At the moment, she could have taken the stairs down, but that would have gotten her killed, most probably. There were Anthonys all over the streets below her. Looking for her too, in case you were wondering.

They did not take kindly to Butlers. Much less to Butlers who invaded their territory. If anything, Juliet had plunged into a wasps nest on her first try. You didn't hit the jackpot like the everyday.

With a sigh, she shifted positions, risking another glance over the edge. They were regrouping in front of the apartment building now. Comparing plans, no doubt.

She wished she knew what they were saying. It might have given her ideas. After all, there wasn't anywhere she could go, and she wasn't about to jump.

After a few moments of arguing, they split up again, heading to search the area again.

Juliet shivered, rubbing her shoulders to warm them. She wished she had a jacket. The light was going fast, and the dark color would have helped hide her. Besides, on the Atlantic this time of year, there were often cold winds, and she was only wearing a tank top.

That morning…

Juliet jogged through the outdoor mall, breaking her way through the crowd to the bottom of the steps, and taking a back way into a rarely used limo entrance. It would do. She only wanted to make a short call.

As she reached for her phone, she heard voices. Men coming around the corner. Quickly, she pulled her hand out of her pocket.

Two of them. One about Dom's age, and the other about fourteen. And she recognized them. They were Anthonys.

"Get out of here, woman!" snapped the older man. He didn't recognize her obviously. And he probably thought the tone of his voice would send her flying away.

"Why should I?"

"Listen to me, little woman!" He stepped closer, leaning down. Juliet didn't blink. "I wouldn't think much of hurting you. Hurting people is my job. And police don't scare me. So just do us all a favor, and get out. You don't know who your messing with!"

"Really, Anthony?"

The boy standing behind him stared, eyes almost round. "Axel? I think she's a Butler."

Juliet resisted smiling. Of course he would have been taught to recognize the Butler's. This older man— Axel— had probably forgotten everything he'd learned long ago.

"And do you think that scares me?" Axel turned his head, glaring at the boy wrathfully. He didn't appreciate having his speech interrupted. "You think it scares me?"

"It should." Juliet smiled, pulling him back around. "My big brother taught me well."

"And who's your big brother?" leered Axel.

"Butler."

Silence. The little boy's teeth were chattering nervously now. It was almost funny. Really, it was.

Then Axel smiled. "Then I think I'll leave him a little present. Dear. You're a virgin, I presume?"

"Anything else, while we're at it?" Juliet pressed a button on her cell phone, and then pulled her hand out of her pocket. Butler would get the message. It was prerecorded. Juliet had gotten in trouble with someone. She would call him back in a few hours. If she didn't, she was in deeper trouble.

"For how long? Guess."

"Probably as long as I feel like it."

"You mean for as long as I feel like it, don't you? Not that you'd mind, I suppose."

Juliet set her jaw, and punched him. Very hard. In the face. He was going to have a nice little beak later. His nose didn't look so good.

Axel stumbled backwards, swinging his arms to catch his balance, a little surprised at the attack.

Juliet kicked him in the chest. It was very satisfactory. She rarely remembered kicking that hard. In fact, she could hear the crunch of bones. That was good. He would pay for insulting her like that.

There was another crack, as Axel smashed into the concrete wall. This time, it was his head. He didn't get up.

Behind her, she heard a gasp. Ah yes, the boy. She whirled, scowling at him. "He'll live, unfortunately. Now get out of here before I do the same to you! I'm not in a good mood!"

The boy turned around and ran.

Juliet grinned, watching him go, and then started to follow. Behind her, a door opened, and two security guards stepped out for their lunch break, strolling right into Axel's limp body.

"Hey woman!"

She spun, hand sliding into her jacket with ease. They would recognize the motion. And they didn't know she didn't have a gun in her shoulder holster. "You have a problem with what I did to him?"

Silence. Juliet took off running. In a few seconds, they would call the police. She didn't want to have to deal with them too.

Justin scowled at his target, tossing aside the broken gun in disgust. He'd tried to fix it for hours, and it still wouldn't shoot straight.

Slowly, he turned, trotting towards the huge house that sprawled out below him. The Anthonys weren't stupid. They hid their Lodge in a valley, where no one could see it, unlike the Butlers. The Butlers were on a hill, proclaiming their whereabouts to the world.

As an ever growing testimony to their stupidity, they all continued to be available for hire. Never one did they consider leaving someone at home in case of attack. No. Just the babies.

Anthonys weren't like that. They left people at home. The only reason why the Butlers were a few points better than them, was their famed: Butler. Old, but smart. And definitely dangerous. Just a year ago, he'd almost killed Arno Blunt. Got him in jail too. And one more place, that cracked every one of them up. A mental institute.

He'd claimed Butler had been dead, and come back. That he'd appeared in the air. Butler was not someone to mess with. No one wanted to lose their minds anytime soon. That he knew of at least.

Justin looked up as someone came running out to meet him. "Yeah?"

"There's a Butler. Here. In the city."

"Here, or in the city?" He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The house was outside of the city. Heavens, when would these people learn that?

"Here in the city."

"Who is it?" Justin sighed, falling into step with the boy as they went back to the house. There was no use trying to correct old habits right now. "Not the Butler, is it?"

"A girl."

"A girl?" With a snort of disgust Justin slowed. "A girl? And why do we care?"

"She messed up Axel really bad an hour ago. He's in the hospital. A broken rib cage, a concussion, and a bunch of other things I forgot. She's vicious. And she knows now."

Justin blinked. Axel was a big tough guy. Even he wouldn't risk getting in a fight with him, though he was probably fit enough to beat him. Why should a girl? And how on earth had she hurt him so badly? And why? Why not just a quick jab in the stomach before she got out of there?

"Who—"

"Jordon was with him. Apparently, she's the Butler's sister. And Axel insulted her somehow. I don't know for sure. Jordon looked like he'd have a heart attack when he got back."

Inwardly, Justin groaned. He knew exactly what kind of insult Axel had paid her. It bothered him, and he was almost pleased to see Axel get what he deserved. But insulting the Butler's sister like that wasn't a good idea. The whole tribe would probably descend in fury. Just give them a few days to group.

"Where is she?"

"Don't know. She missed the plane she was supposed to leave on though, and it's the holidays, so there aren't any empty seats."

Justin stopped at the door of the house, thinking. "Fine. Get everyone together. We need to find her."

"Why?"

"Either we're going to kill her," said Justin grimly, "or we're going to take her. We can't afford for her to go telling people she shouldn't. Especially not the Butler. He might not be too excited about having his little sister…"

"What if she already left?"

"You'd just better hope that she didn't!" Justin shoved him aside, and opened the door.

Juliet reached for her cell phone as it started to vibrate, switching it to the lowest volume. Just as a precaution. "Hello." The wind ruffled her hair, which was very annoying. If she were going to die anytime soon, it might as well be with neat hair.

"What happened?" asked Dom sourly.

"I beat up an Anthony really bad… and now the whole family is out to get me."

"The whole family?" Butler paused a moment. "One thing. Just one thing. No excuses or evading the question. Why did you do it? And it had better a very good reason."

"One of their men," Juliet squirmed slightly, glancing down again. "One of their men…"

"Insulted you somehow. In a way you'd rather not discuss."

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

She slid back from the edge, leaning against the slope of the roof. "In New York."

"Obviously. Where is your location? Are you in your hotel room, or driving, or what? Tell me you at least got out of the area. You didn't tell them you were related to me…"

Juliet gulped. "I'm on a roof. And they're all looking for me in the street right below here. And I'm afraid— I mentioned you once or twice. Maybe they missed it."

"I doubt it."

Neither said anything.

Then: "You're on a roof?"

"Of an apartment building," said Juliet weakly. "It was the only place they couldn't see me, so I just climbed up."

"And got yourself trapped."

"Kind of," muttered Juliet defensively.

"Hearing that, I can't say I'm very sorry for you."

"Well at least you know where to find them if they kill me. In New York somewhere." Juliet looked down again, jerking back with a gasp as one of them looked up.

"What makes you think I would?"

Juliet didn't answer him. Someone was climbing the fire escape. And down below, they weren't talking anymore, they were being quiet. Too quiet. They were waiting.

Dom must have heard the silence on the other end, because he was silent too, in a worried sort of way, holding his breath.

"I have to go. I call you if I'm still alive in a few hours." Juliet hung up, and reached for her gun. But she didn't have one. Not for the wrestling tour. Besides, they didn't let you carry weapons onto airplanes.

Again, the fire escape creaked. A small flash of light cut the night, and then it was dark again. And again, there was silence, as every single one of them waited for what had to come next.

Juliet knew what was coming next. A light would flash in her eyes, blinding her for a moment, and exposing her at the same time. Then, they would shoot.

It creaked again, and she dropped flat with a thud, glancing over her shoulder. She would just scoot backwards until she came to the other fire escape. Then, she'd run.

But something was not right. They were waiting. For what?

And then she knew. There were two fire escapes. They were coming up behind her as well. She could not fight both at once, and she was trapped. The only way off was to jump. But there was nothing to jump into.

Juliet peeked down again. Someone below was raising their hand. When it dropped, they would shoot.

She took a deep breath, and rolled off the edge.

Click the little button, and write me a note. Please. There is nothing more to say. If you feel like saying something longer, email me. I have plenty of addresses. Use whichever one you choose. Please give your pen name, and mention a story you've written if you have one. A lot of people write me, and it's very difficult to keep your names straight, because I don't have any faces to connect them with. I connect you all with your stories.

I am open to most any questions (except inappropriate ones, for those of you grinning wickedly), and write back very quickly. I would especially appreciate ideas. Just tell me if you don't have one though. Then, I will stop bugging you for them.

I will update as soon as possible, rest assured. Juliet will not die either.

By the way, I'm going to apologize ahead of time, if I take a while. I will be moving tomorrow, if all goes well with Jena, (my nutty older sister) and things will be more than hectic for at least a few days.

I am used to moving, (I'm past the twenty mark) so it will not be so long as many of you think.