Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: The feelings are now spilled, yet Gohan can't get over his pain. Videl keeps blaming herself, but it isn't her fault…is it?

Why Father?

Chapter Two: Dark Anxiety

            Gohan snapped his head down as he thought of the emotion he put into his poem. He still had a spark of pain in his mysterious orbs of obsidian, and he didn't want to face Videl. She too also held a deep ache within her soul, and he could feel it.

'What I did was right,' he thought, 'I was suppose to tell the truth, but what now? Will she confront me with questions? Will my mother find out? Oh I can't let Goten live through the torment I've been through.'

After Erasa finished her poem, all were left to chatter among themselves. Gohan kept his mouth shut as he pondered on his own thoughts, and Videl kept on worrying about what she created inside of her boyfriend. The two blondes conversed between each other, and finally the bell rang to Gohan's relief. It was the end of the day, and all he wanted to do right now was go home.

As he got up, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He already knew who it was…her.

"Gohan, we need to talk." She said quietly. Gohan shook his head sharply and started to head down the stairs. Videl chased after him with anger. "Gohan!"

He kept ignoring his girlfriend and walked up to the rooftop with Videl following. He blasted into the air and of course she followed him. It was as if he wanted her to follow him. Gohan kept his head down the whole time with the heartache growing ever so much. His physique ceased as he flew down into the forest depths.

Videl followed him and waited for him to stop his journey. They came to a clearing, a familiar one, but she couldn't put her finger on it…

"It was here when I first realized of how much pain and torment he put me through," he spoke softly. The area was deserted, dead, with no living thing except a few weeds. It was a rocky area, but it hadn't changed…still destroyed and the remains of the battle were there. The damage was still unfixed, and the heart wasn't mended either.

She sat next to Gohan on a big boulder and stared into oblivion. "What is this place?"

He gave a hurtful laugh and shook his head. "You don't know? It's the place where all my dreams were broken. The place where he left me all alone…the place where I was left to grow up too soon."

"What are you talking about Gohan?" Videl asked worryingly, "Why are you so rebellious?"

"I thought you'd get it by now," Gohan whispered with evident sorrow, "It's the battle of the Cell games."

Videl gasped a bit, but looked into the scenery. It was beaten up real bad and it was practically dead…

"What does this have to do with your poem Gohan?" Videl demanded, "W-why do you hate your own father?"

Gohan scoffed at that vile word. 'Father? I've never had a father.' He thought.

"Well Videl, if you really want to know, I'll tell you. When I was four I told you about the battle with Raditz. I was captured and my father and Piccolo came after me, but when my father got brutally beaten, I felt anger within a roughed up Raditz a bit. But guess what, he died…when I was nine or so, we went to Namek and fought Frieza, he went Super. That wasn't good enough, he let Frieza live and then the planet exploded. The dragon said he was alive, but would return when he wanted, I knew it must have been something good. He returned after we got done with a battle. Then there comes the Cell games…" he sighed.

Gohan gave out a hiss along with a snicker, "Oh I'll know you'll get a kick out of this Videl. At the Cell games, I trained with my father intensely, and he's the reason I went Super Saiyan one and two, but something was wrong. While we were here seven years ago, my father gave up and turned the attention to me. It was like he had his faith in his little boy. I appreciated that, but got nervous, that's when Cell released mini versions of himself. That's when my cockiness and arrogance raised. I wouldn't defeat Cell when I had that chance. That's when he made such a noble sacrifice. It was then I unconstrained my natural Saiyan powers within myself. I went crazy and with the help of the other's and then my father he was gone."

"Well that didn't seem so-" Gohan interrupted her.

"You say it didn't seem so bad, but it did ever so much. When we had the dragon balls, he didn't want to come back. He said it's because all the villains came for him, and that's true, but there was something deeper. He knew something I didn't; the other reason he stayed behind was to run. He thought it would be easier to run from his problems and dump them on other people like he did before. That was when I realized I was alone again. I had to go to my mother who grieved and mourned over the useless death, I had to deal with my friends' pity, and I had to deal with Goten. Goten is my innocent naïve little brother, and there is no way I want my father to meet him, no matter how much they are alike, I'd kill before I'd let Goten feel my pain," he said in a audible whisper with hate.

Videl shook her head, "This is all my fault…"

Gohan snapped his head in Videl's direction and shuddered. Here it goes… "Videl, don't say that, never say it's your fault."

"But it is…I ignited the bitterness that laid deep within you…" she said softly.

"It was a good thing you did, then my whole life would be a lie, If you didn't help me, the next time I'd see my father, I'd blow up and probably kill him, or kami knows what. I don't know what I would have done with out you. I would be lost in my own thoughts, forever enslaved with thoughts of hatred, and the emptiness within wouldn't be fulfilled. Don't say it's your fault, it's mine…for letting maliciousness overwhelm me because of my father," he explained while standing up.

Her violet blue gaze stared upon the battlefield of fatality and all the sorrow that must have been here. A new feeling came in her, one that she didn't like. It was a feeling of sympathy, but no one likes to be pitied over. This emotion was haunting her, and now after all that mourning, it broken free and became a deadly trait. "Gohan I'm sorry…"

"It's a shame that people must pity me every time he is mentioned," Gohan growled, "I cant withstand the fact that he was even my father, please say no more, it's too much."

"Please here me out…"

He growled with hatred and shouted, "Just leave me be!" Then he flew off into an unknown destination. Gohan could feel his girlfriend's ki following him, but soon it faded away from such speed and velocity he had flown at…never again will he express his emotions to anyone…

The wound inflected upon his heart wouldn't be mended nothing would help him. The scars would run deep and crimson would be shed, yet no matter what nothing could help the teenager.

After witnessing the detestation for others, he would never be the same. The child like innocence that once roamed the mind was shattered along with his dreams and faith. The faith in a young boy was now gone, and all that remain was the coldness of a teenager with an eruption of abhorrence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kat: I hope this is better for you guys. Sometimes sappy and happy fics just don't cut it. Thanks for all 18 reviews guys, they were really motivating, yet I've been feeling down.