Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, yet I deserve all rights of the song in the poem called "Oh Father" for it is my creation.
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R&R
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Summary: Last time on "Why Father" Gohan encountered his mother's antics and endured the knowledge that someone had told her about his hatred towards Goku. He walked out of the house storming with rage, and Videl felt that it was her fault. Soon Goku realizes that Chichi's words were right, he dug himself a hole too deep to escape…
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Why Father
Chapter Six: Oh Father
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His eyes were blazed harsh obsidian while staring ruefully at the pond in front of him. He didn't think writing out his emotions would provoke the disturbed soul within him, yet he was wrong once again. Every single nerve in his body broke down like shattered glass from a window and he couldn't control himself any longer.
Gohan was no more a boy and couldn't escape with a small excuse. He yelled at his mother and there was no excuse for that. He cursed at Videl and there was no excuse for that. But his father did much worse. His father ran out on his family, and there is no excuse in the world for that.
"I've become like father," he growled softly while lowering his head. "I ran away from Goten, mother, Videl, and those who cared for me. I can't believe I didn't see this coming."
Silence filled the woods as he continued walking into the harsh wind. Clouds of gray filtered the sky, warning all of a storm to come. Many animals tread through his path, though Gohan didn't notice, he was mourning over his new realization. Rain slowly fell upon his stiff hair, which gradually drooped down to his pale face. His body trembled, and a golden aura steadily surrounded him continuously.
Soon Gohan met a wall that seemed utterly familiar and he knew why it was. This was the place his father first died and Piccolo trained him at. He pushed Gohan to climb the wall until he could reach it in good time. Piccolo actually cared for him. He was more of a father then his own father would be.
Gohan reached his hand out to skim the rocky texture. A scent of mud filled his nose as he leaned against the rain soaked mountain. He covered his weary face with his hands, smearing the grime on his face. He began to climb the mountain steadily, letting the rain hit him severely. Cuts from the spare twigs and branches stung, though he pushed it off and began to climb higher and higher.
As he reached the ledge, a hand clapped it self on his shoulder making him loose his grip, hitting the floor face first. A groan escaped Gohan's lips, as he touched his head; there was a decent sized bump forming. His site was still a bit blurry, but he saw a figure towering over his. It was a man with outrageous looking hair dressed in orange.
Gohan's breath hitched and he felt as though his heart stopped beating. He rubbed his eyes vigorously to take out the stinging water, but what he saw wasn't an illusion. Rage immediately filled his body as he began to tremble in anger.
"Why aren't you dead?" Gohan breathed out erratically.
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Its funny how the world starts to tumble,
When people speak your worthless name,
How you made a child believe,
That you loved him in every way…
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Goku scratched his head while raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you suppose to say 'Hiya dad!'"
"You don't deserve that," Gohan spat maliciously while shaking his head. "Now why are you here."
"Look Gohan I saw what was happening-"
"Oh and you finally show up when I've been shattered?" Gohan barked while glaring hatefully at Goku. "Was that your soul mission in life dad? To make me life hell?"
"Gohan that isn't fair!" Goku spoke calmly while keeping a strong face. "I know you think I died in vain, but it wasn't a waste. I wanted to protect you all. Gohan you're my son for crying out loud, I love you. I didn't raise-"
"Wait a minute!" the teenager retorted viciously. "Were you going to say that you didn't raise me like this?!" Gohan then laughed cruelly and nodded. "Sorry to say it father, but you didn't raise me at all. So don't blame my depression on your technique of 'raising children.'"
"Son I know you are hurting, but don't be like this," Goku said soothingly while throwing his hands as a motion for peace. "You don't want to run down a road so dark like that Gohan because it'll take years of repairing."
"What do you know about pain?" Gohan screamed violently while advancing his steps towards his father. Once he was a few inches away he glared deeply into his eyes. "You think a few punches and burns are pain? Spilling blood isn't pain, I know!"
Goku grabbed Gohan's wrists and turned them. He observed the pale skin and noticed nothing wrong. Gohan snatched his wrists from his fathers grip and got in a fighting position. "You actually think I would do something as low as slicing my wrists? If you didn't notice, I am half Saiyan. My skin would break a knife."
"Gohan I was making sure you wouldn't do things like that," Goku said earnestly while shaking his head. "Come on Gohan, I'm your father and I don't want to see you in ache and tears."
"Well it's a little to late for that dad," he whispered while lowering his gaze. "You broke me."
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You can't make him cry anymore,
About the distressing remorse he was fed,
Can't hurt that boy anymore,
For the innocence within is now dead.
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Goku's eyes widened in shock as he stood there stiffly; He couldn't believe the words that just escaped his son's lips. "Gohan I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."
"Liar," he rasped out while powering up. A whitish black aura surrounded him and lighting because to hit the shield. His eyes changed from black to teal and he screamed out his problems. "Don't you get it dad? You already did, you pushed me to my limits. You can't make me cry anymore because this little boy inside is DEAD!"
"Over the years all I experienced was the sadness of your death from mother and all your friends. Do you know how much it hurts to have that? It's bad, really bad."
"What can I do to show you that I'm sorry Gohan?"
"Go away," he said while lunging towards him. Gohan's eyes were now hollow as he began throwing agility punches and jabs towards Goku. He began to block them as well, but he wasn't quick enough and received a kick in the stomach.
"DADDY!" screamed the childish voice of Goten as he zoomed towards Goku's limp body.
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Oh father you've been gone for so long,
Why can't you look at me and tell me it's all right?
Oh father why did you have to run away?
You could've been a man; instead you gave up the fight.
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Gohan back away slowly as he saw his little brother hug Goku. Goten had never met his father until now, and he still noticed him. "Goten get out of here."
Goten's tear-stained eyes snapped to Gohan with a mixture of confusion. "Why did you do that Gohan? You made mommy cry and you just hurt daddy!"
Goku coughed lowly while standing up slowly. He patted Goten on the head and picked him up. "So you're my son?"
"Yeah, I'm Goten." he said while hiccupping his tears away. He snuggled his small head into Goku's neck while whispering his thanks to have a father.
"Let go of him Goku!" Gohan said warningly while wavering in fear. "I'm not going to let you hurt him."
"You hurt me Gohan!" Goten wailed while shaking his head. "Mommy wouldn't stop crying and I heard everything. Daddy is bleeding because of you! Its your fault!"
At that moment, Gohan wanted to be killed.
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Years rewarded that shattered child,
Given a life to cherish and uphold,
The weight of the world rested on his shoulders,
He never felt so cold.
Doing the job that father should've done,
Did those things he never did,
Cradled the life within his hands,
The one that'd never be held by his father again.
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"I thought that after Goku died, I would be destroyed," he mumbled. "But then you were born Goten, and my life was so much better. But seeing you in his arms now is the worst feeling I've ever gotten from you."
Goku watched as Gohan's face contorted with fury. "Gohan, don't say anything you might regret."
Gohan ignored Goku's words and continued. "I raised you so you wouldn't be hurt Goten. I protected you from the world of betrayal and you do the one thing that wants to kill me?"
"Gohan-"
"After all these years of raising you Goten, and you go on his side?" Gohan unkindly said with a quiver from his lips. "Fine then, then I wont guard you no longer Goten. Better yet, I wont pick you up or help you anymore because what you did is the worse thing you could've done."
Goten trembled with sadness and burst into tears while breaking out of Goku's grip and running towards Gohan. "NICHAN!"
"No Goten, I'm your brother no more," Gohan said bitterly while walking away from Goten and towards Goku. "You want to be his father so badly now? Go ahead!"
Goku picked up Goten and pulled him into a tight embrace. He stared disappointingly at Gohan and shook his head. "Why are you doing this Gohan?"
"Do you know how many times Goten cried because you weren't there?" Gohan asked curiously with a frown. "He would cry about how his dad never held him when he was baby and why all the other kids had a daddy besides him."
"I'm here now, for both my son's," Goku said earnestly.
"I'm not your son Goku."
"You can deny it Gohan, but you'll always have my blood and love from previous battles and memories." Goku sat Goten down and kissed his forehead. "Go home and cheer your mother up Goten. I'll be there soon."
"Will you bring back Gohan?"
"I'll try."
With that Goten set his sad eyes upon Gohan and turned around, walking away from the harsh world.
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Oh father you've been gone for so long,
Why can't you look at me and tell me it's all right?
Oh father why did you have to run away?
You could've been a man; instead you gave up the fight.
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"You shouldn't makes promises you can't keep," Gohan muttered wryly, "Makes you look more pathetic than you already do."
"Gohan talk to me right now."
"If you haven't noticed, every time we open our mouths and words come out is talking."
"You were always the sarcastic one," Goku mumbled incoherently. Gohan turned his back on Goku and was about to walk away, but Goku appeared in front of him just as quickly. "Don't turn your back on me."
"Why can't I ignore you?" Gohan stated desperately while shaking his head roughly. "You've done that enough to me. Why can't you just go away? Its not like I can take the pain from the inside and throw it all away."
"Gohan trust me," Goku said trying to convince his son. "Please believe me when I say that I'll never hurt you."
"Oh please you think I'd trust you?" Gohan laughed incredulously while breathing harshly and muttering to himself. "I barley trust myself."
Goku walked up to Gohan and embraced him tightly. "It's alright my son."
"Get off of me," Gohan growled while struggling, trying to get free.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong."
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Never knew if you meant to hurt him…
Never thought that you wanted to run…
Never believed that you were really dad…
Never understood how innocence could be so cruel…
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"What's wrong is that thanks to you, I hate everything that reminds me of you," the angst filled teenager expressed angrily, "When Goten was born, I couldn't stand looking at him, when everyone came around and tried to console me, I pushed them away, and I hated it."
"I know my mistakes now, but please…"
Gohan ignored his father's words and ranted on. "I hated not knowing if you meant to hurt me or why innocence could make you just want to die. I hated not knowing why you ran or having a dad."
"Gohan, this hatred will leave you to a bitter end."
"I hate you," Gohan said, his eyes filled with sadness, tears stinging his eyes. He looked up into Goku's eyes, which were like his own, and gushed out the deceit he felt. "I hated how you just went from me and didn't spend anytime with me. It felt so wrong, so I tried to hide it and deceived myself. I hate you father, but you know what I hate the most?"
Goku sighed warily. "Yes, me."
"No," Gohan said with tears running down his face. "I hate myself for hating you because I knew what you did was noble, but I was in too deep. It's like human on a drug dose, they want to quit, but too addicted to it that they need to live on it."
"Gohan," Goku whispered softly while cradling his son in his arms, hugging him with all his strength. "I wish you could be a child once more."
Gohan pushed away from Goku. "I can't, for I am a Saiyan, a half-bred, father-hating son. I would be killed on Vegetasei. That's what Vegeta told me anyways."
"How so?"
"On Vegetasei, your parents are practically your lord and ruler until you are of age. They provide you with all you need to grow up and protect you from harm. If you were to disrespect your parents, they could have you killed or disowned."
"Your mother and I would never do that," Goku said sincerely while touching his son's shoulder. Gohan flinched once more, and Goku pulled back immediately. "I'll give you your space for now, why don't you think about it Gohan."
Gohan nodded and walked away into the forest, flying off into darkness and the downpour of rain.
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Don't try and hold me back dad,
You don't know how rough it has been,
I gave you a chance, but it was in vain,
For you never had time to mend.
Look into my eyes father,
Tell me that they've never been this cold,
The boy inside cries for redemption,
For his purity has been sold.
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Gohan found himself in Satan city an hour later. The streetlights had already come on, lights flickering once and a while, resembling Gohan at that moment. He felt confused and alone. Black seemed to be his world, for everything was so clouded hazy. Nothing seemed right or wrong anymore…just…blunt.
As he kept walking, down the street, he found himself in front of the home of his girlfriend Videl. He watched her window curiously and noticed a sad melody floating from out of her window. It sounded as if a piano was playing…
His body floated towards her window as it did many times before, and peered into the room to see Videl's long black hair out of her braids, playing the piano in depression. Sad notes chimed out as she began singing out pain from a song. His hand pounded against the window softly to get her attention.
Videl's head snapped towards her window, those cerulean-violet eyes widening in shock. Her body tumbled towards the door and opened it immediately; Videl threw her arms around Gohan tightly. "Gohan I'm so sorry, so, so, sorry."
Gohan didn't say anything, but hugged her with his strong arms. They stayed like that for a few moments, Videl's clothing absorbing the rain that soaked Gohan. It seemed that for once, something went right after the past couple of dreary days. Videl pulled her head back and went on her toes while giving Gohan and small kiss on the cheek. "Please forgive me Gohan."
"Don't cry Videl," Gohan replied roughly, "Too many tears have been shed tonight." Another moment of silence passed, and Gohan broke down, telling her what happened. "My father is here."
"What?"
"Yeah."
Videl turned her head, then looked up at her boyfriend. "Everything went well?"
"If making your mother and little brother cry is specified as 'well' then yes, perfectly."
"Did you and your dad work it out?"
Gohan let go of Videl and took a step back. His breathing was erratic and he quivered as if trying to forget the pain that filled his shattered soul. "I can't not remember all those times my mother and I use to cry Videl. Time can't take us back to the beginning, were bound by it. I wish I could change the past, and start over this last week, but I can't. It's the same with my dad."
"It takes time to heal," Videl whispered softly to Gohan as she wiped the stray hairs from his face. He lay on her bed and closed his eyes.
"Then let the healing begin."
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Oh father you've been gone for so long,
Oh so long,
Why can't you look at me and tell me its all right?
Everything's all right,
Oh father why did you have to run away?
Why?
You could've been a man; instead you gave up the fight,
Should've fought…
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Kat: HEY GUYS!!!! Here is another chapter, and I'll try not and make a 6-month separation. This story will end in one more chapter
Review Response
SSJ3MysticGohan: Thanks for the compliment, but as I say OVER and over again, I have over 10 chapter stories, and it takes time to finish. It just gets me angry when people bring up the same thing, but no worries.
Son Oliver: Hah, yes I know what you mean, but not this time L I decided there wont be as much violence as my other fics where Goku comes back. I know, I know…CURSE ME TO DAMNATION!
Mirai-Xenia: Hey there and I know. I get a lot of flames from people who whine about how Gohan would never feel that way and how Goku would never ignore Gohan, but its my story and I make it that way J About your story, I've read the first chapter, but as you see I'm busy with school and all and it took me 6-months to update so -.- I'll try.
DemiSaiyan: Thank and keep up the good angst.