A/N: It's been two long years since I last updated this most hilarious of stories. However, in my time off I have become, bigger, stronger, and smarter. I've forgotten where I was going with this last chapter, but I figured it was time. Time for lust. Time for lie. Time to kiss your life good-bye. Ahem… (drools)

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(Location: CLASSIFIED POV: First person)

Oh man everyone's going to be so jealous. Man, I wonder why girls never complained about these, they're more uncomfortable than gay sex with Yugi. Gay sex with Yugi. Gay sex with Yugi.

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(Location: Bakura's house POV: Chat room)

Bakura: That's bizarre; we all suddenly turned up here.

Kaiba: Moo.

Yami Yugi: Apparently the results are in but I must save the world again, (sighs).

Kaiba: (Receives piece of paper from sky) Aha! Here they are! And the scuffling sound is…. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … (dies).

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(Location: My house POV: Third person)

Kuriboh awoke from his slumber just in time to hear Bakura's sexiness meter going off on the little receiver he had placed next to the Dark Magician. They immediately got up and sprinted/rolled/teleported to Bakura's house.

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(Location: Bakura's House POV: Chat room)

Mai and Taya: (gasp)

Bakura: What an inopportune time to die. Hm.

Kuriboh and Dark Magician: (enter house)

Mai and Taya: (scream)

Bakura: (yelps)

Yami Yugi: (shudders)

Kaiba: (dead)

Malik: Oh you lot are boring… (Door is knocked down) What the hell was that? It's the scuffling noise!

Joey: (enters living room in nothing but a shiny, purple thong) the king almighty has arrived!

Bakura: (vomits on Kuriboh)

Kuriboh: Kuriboh now warm and sticky.

Malik: Wha… I don't… Whose is that?

Yami Yugi: (blushes)

Bakura: (vomits on Kaiba's dead, limp form)

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(Location: Tristan's house POV: Chat room)

Tristan: Hold on babe, I gotta take a shit, but afterwards I'll let you touch my vagina.

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(Location: Pearly Gates POV: Third person)

Seto Kaiba arrived at the gates exactly on time. Around him gathered thousands of other recently-deceased men. Slowly, Kaiba floated towards the gates themselves. There St. Peter greeted him.

"Welcome, Mr. Kaiba! Welcome to Heaven, the only theme park up in the sky great enough to hold a billion billion men!" Kaiba looks around.

"Where are all the women?"

"Ahaha! Don't you know? All women go to hell where they belong!" insert maniacal laugh

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(Location: Bakura's house POV: Chat room)

Joey: Now that I have graced you all with my perfectly round and smooth bottom, I declare a re-count; a new vote!

Bakura: For what?

Yami Yugi: For the supreme sexiness ruler.

Malik: And this time, it's once and for all!

Kuriboh: Collection not yet complete…

Joey: AHHH! (runs off screaming as Kuriboh latches itself to Joey's man-thong, otherwise known as a banana hammock)

Kaiba's dead spirit: We shall ask the readers, who will write their answer on the review I know they are so willing to write.

Bakura: (vomits)

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A/N: That's all you greedy folks! First time writing a new chapter in a whole two years! Okay here are the choices you will choose from.

Kaiba (dead though he is)

Joey (wearing Yami Yugi's thong though he is)

Bakura (vomiting though he is)

Malik (bewildered though he is)

So VOTE already you scheming bastards.