Chapter 1.

The nonchalant sun rose over Prontera the same way it always does at the start of almost every Ragnarok fanfiction. Whether or not there really is a sun in the skies of Midgard and why it never seems to set in some places, we may never know.

A young swordsman garbed in typical Izludean common garb stood on a cliff overlooking the town. He had a blue hair, which is of course the most defining visual aspect of almost every character in this story - yes, start memorising hair colors and commit them to memory as you would the bioman/power ranger team because you WILL be encountering more hair colours.

The swordie is very ordinary and doesn't have anything interesting in him - except that he has a dark past that, of course, won't be revealed until very later (in the most climactic way possible).

"Ah! Prontera! It's so biig!" shouted our hero as the city came into view.

It was an unsolicited interjection that was heard by nobody but he said it anyway to stress amazement. Probably, he said that because he's from Izlude and we all know Izlude is home to only three things: Begging novices, bad-smelling swordsmen and small crappy huts on stilts.

"I hope this thing works," said the swordie as he drew out a very ordinary coin that doesn't have any powers or past whatsoever, "Don't fail me, lucky charm coin."

Narrator stops to laugh at his own sarcasm

As he was walking towards the main road from the obscure cliff on a midget hill that only exists for eye candy purposes, he accidentally bumped into a green-haired huntress who, as the swordsman would have seen with his eyes out of their sockets and a bleeding nose, was barely wearing anything. Both fell to the ground because of the impact, because, well, it was a strong impact!

"Watch where you're going!" shouted the huntress.

"Yo... yo... yo... YOU'RE NAKED!" shouted the swordie, cheeks blood streaked and nose at the verge of sanguination.

The huntress shrugged. "Great job, Captain Obvious. Of course, I'm wearing a near-naked blouse and skirt set. I'm supposed to be the object of lust in this fic. Am I the only one with enough senses to see this? Hello? Fanservice?"

The swordie obviously didn't get what she had said so he just continued with his talk, "So, are you going to Prontera too?"

"Like I can say no? I'm supposed to be going with you or I wouldn't have been put here in the first place," sarcastically replied the barely clothed Huntress.

"Put here by who?" asked the swordie while scratching his noggin.

"Whatever. My name is Aima Jappa Nisa of Payon, but you can call me Jappa because the author is too damn lazy to type my long name again and again. I'm going to Prontera to become the number one archer in the whole wide world (or whatever is on the map as of this patch/episode)! Ichi ban!"

"Number one, just like all other protagonists in other fics! Wow!" exclaimed the swordie," And I, Gynn Erik DoubleWordedSurname shall become this world's greatest Swordsman!"

And so the two would-be-greats began to walk towards their goal, Prontera City.

An out of the blue seaborne wind blew towards the obscure cliff from where the swordie came from. A tall skinny bishounen bordering on metrosexual with black hair wearing black robes as any decent evildoer would was standing, watching the two.

"The clocks of Bau Ring and In Ven Tid are pointing at the direction of destruction, " whispered the black-haired man who probably really wont make sense till the later chapters since for now he's just mumbling symbolic bull that doesn't really have any narrative value other than to keep readers thinking, "my plan is foolproof... and... and.. hey, what the hell is Bishounen?"

But of course we all know anything that deemed foolproof by evil people wont be for long. I just hate slow-thinking evil villains.

Unable to really do anything because it's just the first chapter, he just laughed an evil laugh, the likes of which only heard (or read) from at most one evil person per fic, like Sauron, Lucifer, Loki and Mr. Squiggle (the man from the moon) - Congress is an exception. Why he needed to laugh didn't matter, it's a bad guy thing.

Doom is upon the Kingdom of Rune Midgard (SFX dum dum dum dumb!).

"Did you just hear a funny sound effect, Jappa?"

"No," The huntress replied, "Keep walking before I change my mind. I'm starting to hate this stupid fic already."

End of Chapter.

Mandatory Disclaimer:
R-U-HI is not intended to deface any fic by another author; that would be discrimination. This is intended to deface ALL. I tried my hardest to dwell within the realm of the banal, I really did. Primary sources are clichés that recur on a lot of stories that I've read online. If this fic still sounds like a wholesale mockery of your fic, well... -cocogel-happens.

This was originally posted in Ragnaboards. Parts of the story may have been edited due to rustic content and audience-specific jokes.