Leave me alone. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh now or ever. Never have, never will. Psh, if I had enough money, I'm going to go buy myself the DVDs first!

NOTE: I got this idea from a movie, "King of Comedy". Well, most of it, so this is sort of based on the movie? Not really, but the end is so I give them the credit.

Jou needed money and he had too much lip gloss on. Luckily, he knew how to share.

Bribery Times Two

"I need some money."

Jou tapped his chin thoughtfully, thinking about how much money he had left in his piggy bank at home. His father wouldn't let him touch his bank account and just withdraw a few dollar bills. He started to hate himself for allowing Serenity to take him to the mall and force him to go shopping with her. While Serenity was off in Forever 21, he had gone off wandering stores after stores, charging a little bit too much money on his dad's credit card. But it was so not his fault. He found the coolest, kick ass T-shirt ever and then there were those CDs, and then he got hungry and decided to treat him and Serenity to lunch at Subway…

He groaned. This was an impossible situation. He could not believe he let himself get rattled by a few T-shirts, CDs, and of course, food. Now he was completely broke and he was also royally screwed too. His father would not be happy when he sees the credit card bill… especially if it's on the emergency credit card…

Too bad he had only two dollars in the piggy bank at home…

Honda grinned at him mischievously, reaching in his pockets and took out several bills, fanning himself delicately, making sure Jou could see it. "Ahh… look, I just got my paycheck… fancy amount of money huh, Jou?" He spread the money out into a little fan, allowing Jou to see what bill it was. "I could spend it on buying those concert tickets for me and Otogi, or maybe hang out at the arcade later… hmm… I don't know… so hard to decide… I have so much money to spend and use, but what can I do with it?"

Jou glared at Honda and then rolled his eyes. "All right, Honda, what do you want now? What do I have to do?"

Honda grinned and started rubbing his hands. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun, my friend. I promise, you're going to enjoy it! You'll have so much fun doing it and you won't regret it, I totally promise!"

Oh shit…? What did I do?

"Hold still, big brother! I almost smeared your lipstick!"

"Dang Jou, have you tried waxing before? I never heard someone yell so loudly before."

"JOU! I SPENT TWENTY MINUTES ON THAT HAIR, I AM NOT STARTING OVER YOU GOT IT? Now hold still… I'm going to make you look so gorgeous and so beautiful that all the girls would be jealous of you!"

It was Saturday afternoon, just two hours after the meeting between Honda and Jou. Jou winced, regretting his desperate attempt at getting cash quick. He should have just worked at Tapioca Express to avoid this embarrassment but did he? No, of course not. He decided to be cheap, really cheap. Heck, he must be if he actually decided to let Honda call up Serenity, Mai, and Anzu and allow himself to be...

Made over.

"I THINK YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL HERE, JOU!" Mai squealed, nearly kicking him with her high heeled purple boots, leaning over to fix strands of hair that had somehow escaped the all mighty and powerful effect of hair spray, gel, and mousse.

Like a girl.

"Big brother, I think you look like a really pretty girl," Serenity said, affectionately smiling at him and kissing him on the cheek lightly to avoid messing up the blush. She said it so sweetly and sincerely that Jou almost fainted out of embarrassment because she was trying to be nice about it and it only made him feel even worse about the money situation.

Oh jeez, why did it always have to be him?

"Thanks guys—er, girls—but, AHHHHHHHHHHH! ANZU, CHILL OUT!"

Anzu grinned sheepishly at him. "Sorry, I just found another section of hair I missed. Jou, did you know that for a guy, you're not that hairy? Dang, I would absolutely kill to have your legs now that I waxed it all off! I think you look really pretty considering the amount of work—"

"Yo! Is he done in there?" Honda's impatient voice asked loudly, knocking on the bathroom door. "If not, I'm going to turn off my digital camera! It's taking up batteries you know!"

"Shut up, Honda!" Mai yelled back, nearly poking Jou in the eye with the eyeliner, who was adding the finishing touches on Jou's now feminine face. "You try transforming him into such a sexy contender for Top Model!"

Jou groaned, feeling that little ball of embarrassment and humiliation grow twice as big. Remember, you're doing it for money… money is good… you need money in order to pay off the bill… you should feel lucky that you only have to wear this stupid makeover for just the night… don't feel bad, there must be some other sucker that feels the same way you do…

"Hold on Jou, let me apply lipgloss for you," Mai told him, pushing him back down on his seat and applying another layer of shininess on his lips. Strawberry scented of course, what else?

He breathed, but that did not help much.

He closed his eyes and started to carefully stand up, nearly tripping due to the high leather boots he was wearing…

The door opened…

Camera flashes…

Loud screeches of laughter…

Then, he fell and tripped.

What was he doing this for again?

Oh yeah, money… just keep smiling and get up, you're doing this for a good cause. Just don't trip. Whatever you do, when you get up, do not trip over that cord…

……………

YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT HAIR DRYER LYING ON THE FLOOR?

"Yugi waved cheerfully at Jou with a huge beam on his face and happily cried, "See you later tonight at dinner Jou!" and slammed the door in front of Jou.

Jou glared at it for a second, unable to articulate any words. "Thanks a lot Yugi. I thought you were my so called best friend too," he murmured underneath his breath. He sighed and started to walk, across the street where there was a park. Being Saturday, it was filled with many high school couples, parents with their kids, dogs… ugh, practically everyone there was bound to see him as a girl!

Worse… high school people form his high school! Shoot, people would see him and then by Monday, everyone was going to know that he, Katsuya Jounouchi, star of the soccer team, a popular jock, and also one of the most wanted guys ever, was dressed up like a girl.

He had lots of makeup applied to his face, from mascara to blush. He had his hair highlighted with temporary red highlights (it was washable) and it framed his face more like a girl, making his bangs look more girly than usual. He was wearing Mai's tank top, the one she wore to Battle City and her dangerous boots. Jou had a tight miniskirt on that made it even harder to walk in. He had to practically fight it to keep it from rising up too high. And his poor legs… not a single hair on them. Anzu had did a very good job; it would take him a while before he would be able to grow it all back. That made Jou a little bit sad.

He looked like a cross dresser…

Damn… what was going to happen to his reputation? He wouldn't be able to show his face at school at all on Monday!

But, he needed the money. All he had to do was hang around the busy, extremely busy, park until dinner with the gang (at nine o' clock), which was three hours from now. That's fine. Shouldn't be too hard. All he had to do was sit around and hope that no one recognizes him.

As he walked past a bunch of kids on the swings, he heard one of the kids say to their mom, "Mommy, is that a girl or a boy? It looks like a boy."

Jou almost died of embarrassment as he heard a few of the couples chuckle in response to the loud, noisy brat. Jou decided he'll have to kill that kid later. He never liked kids anyway. Useful, annoying little brats. Yes, he had to go, especially for drawing attention to him.

He spotted an isolated bench away from the playground that was also farther away from the couples too. He stumbled over there, nearly tripping over a few rocks, but he made it regardless. He sat down uncomfortably and tried to close his leg as much as possible without hurting—er, down there—too much. He was focusing on how to kill that little irritating brat. Oh, and Honda too, can't forget him. He should die first, slowly and painfully…

Seriously! All this for a credit card bill!

"Puppy?"

Jou froze, not wanting to look behind. He knew that voice. It was… Oh dear Lord, anyone but him… he was the one person he did not want to see… especially in that outfit of his… he was going to blackmail him for sure and then tell everyone about it and then tease him about it for the rest of his life… and… how could he take him seriously now? Even if Jou decided to tell him how he felt, then… UGH RUN ON SENTENCE! WHY TODAY OF ALL DAYS?

"Pup…" he snapped in an impatient voice, "are you going to turn around? Because that looks like you except… you're in a dress for some strange reason? Did your owner decide to dress you up?"

Jou groaned. It was definitely him, no way around it.

He slowly turned around and waved shyly, trying to hide the fact that he was wearing a skirt. He hoped that his makeup wasn't too noticeable, although his hope was shot. Anybody could tell he had makeup on, especially the blush and eye shadow. It was PINK for God's sake! Who wouldn't notice?

Seto Kaiba's lips curved into a smile. He had a briefcase in one hand and the other hand was in his pocket. He had ditched the long blue trenchcoat and although Jou liked seeing Kaiba wear it, he had to admit that he could probably use a change in clothing once in a while. Instead, he had a white button down shirt and some black formal pants, like he was just in a meeting. Three of the buttons were unbuttoned, revealing a very tan yet muscular chest. His hair was blowing in the wind and his eyes, usually cold and harsh, were practically dancing with happiness.

"Well, well, well? Don't you look pretty today?" Kaiba raised an eyebrow and scanned him, making Jou blush slightly. Luckily for him, Kaiba didn't notice because he had the pink blush on but it was still quite embarrassing. "Very pretty, Katsuya."

"Thanks," Jou mumbled quietly, completely ignoring the fact that he was called by his first name instead of the usual nicknames Kaiba had for him. He called me pretty… he called me pretty…

Kaiba lay his briefcase down and sat down next to him, only a few centimeters apart. Jou's skirt had rose up a little bit higher than he liked, and showed off quite a bit of skin. (Well, Anzu waxed his legs so no worries about how hairy he once was) "Nice makeup too," he added, touching his cheek softly and briefly.

Jou felt himself get hot, even hotter and it wasn't because of the hot spring weather either. His hands started to sweat and he folded it on his lap. "Er… Kaiba, what are you doing here?" he questioned him, trying to keep the topic off him, desperately, trying to scoot away from him subtly.

"Taking a little break. Nice weather," Kaiba answered simply. "You don't happen to have a camera do you? I would like to cherish this memory forever. You, big soccer player, dressed up like a typical teenage girl. Maybe a cheerleader perhaps? Not a sight you see very often you know."

"Heh… very funny Kaiba…"

Kaiba took out his laptop and placed it on his lap, balancing it very carefully. He started to type something and then when Jou started to drift off in his own little la la land, he casually mentioned, "You know, I've always liked cheerleaders." He paused. "Stupid file, why won't you open?"

Jou blinked and stared at him. "What did you say? Did you just… Seto Kaiba, did you just come onto me?"

Kaiba shrugged and looked away temporarily, but not before Jou caught the smile on his face. "Whatever you like to interpret it, Katsuya."

Katsuya… "Did you call me Katsuya?"

"Yeah, that's your name right?"

Jou stared at him and then stood up, getting a new and absolutely BRILLANT idea. "Well, I got to go. Nice chatting with you, Seto."

"Sure thing," he said, still not looking up. Jou guessed that he probably didn't hear him say 'Seto' but that's all right.

Jou titled his head off to one side and stared at his chapped lips for a few seconds. "Hey, did you know your lips are really dry?"

He looked up with a confused look on his face. "Uh… yes…? What does that matter pup? Since when were you so interested in my lips?"

That's where you're wrong Seto Kaiba! Your lips are of… a very interesting topic to me…

"I can help you with that…"

And with that said, Jou bent down to Seto's level and leaned in. He closed his eyes and went straight for the lips, kissing it softly and slowly. He was extremely pleased to feel that Seto was responding back, fighting with his tongue to see who would be the most dominant. Sadly, Jou was losing, but that's okay. SETO KAIBA WAS KISSING HIM! He doesn't care!

Although he does smell awfully good…

Jou pulled away gently. Stupid oxygen, he needed air. Jou stared into Seto's blue eyes (they were really, really pretty and he could get lost in them for hours) and after a few seconds, Seto asked, "What… what was that for?"

"Your lips were dry," Jou explained, smiling at him until Seto smiled back, "and I had too much lip gloss. I figure I could share some."

"Really, Katsuya?" Seto put his laptop aside and took Jou's hand. He stood up and pulled Jou up to a standing position as well. "Well then, I say my lips are really dry and I need some more…"

"Gladly."

Sharing lip gloss had never been so much fun.

-OWARI-

The lipgloss idea was from "King of Comedy" so I cannot take any of the credit.

Another story! I seriously need to stop… but I can't! I love this couple too much! It's too bad that in the anime/mange, it's going to be Jou and Mai… shoot, I HATE THEM TOGETHER! Valon and Mai are much cooler! Jou belongs with Seto, period!

Sorry… gone off on there a little bit… anyhooo, you know I love you right? You know I appreciate everything you guys say to me in the reviews and emails right? In that case, can you guys give me another reason to appreciate you some more? Pretty please?

You know…by reviewing this story and telling me what you think of it?

Thanks guys! Love ya!

-lilrubydevil-