"Give me one good reason why I should marry you."
There was silence. Eternities came and left, and still he had no answer.
"Forget it," sighed Tenten, tugging her hand loose and turning around. She had already given up on making things work with Neji. "Goodbye Neji."
"Fate."
Tenten threw a quick glance at her father. Their home was crowded with people, and he seemed overwhelmed. There were so many people that she couldn't even hear the wind chimes, even though she knew fully well that they were still hanging by the window.
Tenten herself was tired of being having relatives and strangers tell her that they were very sad for her and her father, wished they could help. All she knew was that she'd now have to adjust to having her kunoichi mother absent permanently rather than sporadically. It didn't mean that she didn't miss her mother; on the contrary, she missed her very much, but she didn't quite understand the idea of permanence yet. At the tender age of four, she couldn't understand death. It was such an abstract and foreign concept. Maybe, she theorized, maybe it's because I never got to say goodbye. Figuring that was the problem, she decided to visit her mother's gravestone.
She wove her way through people and tripped over her sleepy dog. "Sorry Ken-chan," she whispered, patting his head when he made a half rumble. "I'll give you a biscuit when I get back."
Stumbling outside her house, she stopped short when she saw a small boy standing outside, his arms crossed and eyes closed. He had a strip of cloth bound around his head. "Oh," she said, "hello."
"I'm not going to stop you from going anywhere," he told her without moving. "But you should know that someone's bound to notice your absence sooner or later. Almost everyone in there is a ninja." He spoke like an adult.
"Well, I'm not doing anything bad," she temporized. "No one told me I couldn't leave."
"I'm not going to cover for you," he warned her.
"I just wanted to visit my mother," she said, somewhat defensively. "I never really got a chance to say goodbye before she left on her last mission." His eyes fluttered open; they were moon pale and they made her shiver. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Neji."
She held out her hand. "I'm Tenten."
"I know," he told her. He looked like he knew a lot of things. She dropped her hand when he didn't offer his.
She looked at him curiously. "Why are you wearing that cloth thingy around your head?"
He turned his head away from her gaze. The seal still burned whenever he thought about it. "No reason," he answered shortly before he felt her tug the binding free.
"How sad," she said softly, brushing his forehead with cool fingers. He jerked away and she blushed. "I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have done that," she said, handing him back the cloth. "Mother used to yell at me whenever I did something like that. She would say that I was too curious for my own good."
"Weren't you going to go visit her?" he asked, sounding harsh.
She bit her lip and nodded. "I'm sorry," she told him, but before she could leave, he grabbed her arm.
"I am too," he told her. She looked puzzled and he clarified, "about your mother." His eyes grew distant. "I also know what it's like to lose a parent."
He blinked when he felt her lips on his cheek. "Thank you," she told him and prying his fingers off her arm, ran towards her mother's memorial.
It was the perfect night for a first date. The moon was almost full, and the stars were startlingly clear. She could hear the sounds of the festival in a distance and if she hadn't been wearing her yukata, she would've been skipping. Her brows knit together a few moments later when he entered the forest; they were moving away from the festival, not towards it.
"Neji, where are we going?"
He slid a sidelong glance at his date and was surprised to see that she really didn't know. "To see my family."
Tenten stopped in her tracks. "WHAT?"
"Is something the matter?"
"Neji, this is supposed to be our first date," she told him, trying her best to keep the exasperation from her voice. "You don't bring a girl home unless you're announcing your engagement or something!"
He stared at her as if she were daft. In his mind, there was no one else for him; of course this was the equivalent of an announcement. There was no reason NOT to introduce her to his family, and there was definitely no reason to go through the trivialities of courtship when he had already made up his mind. "It's nothing of the sort," he lied smoothly. "My uncle and mother would like to see you."
She narrowed her eyes at him and he did his best to keep his face neutral. "I give up," she laughed, falling in step beside him. "I can't even pretend to stay mad at you. But," and her eyes sparkled with mischief, "I will be mad if you don't take me to the festival later."
"Festival?" He raised a brow.
"You know, the festival? The one we have every year with games and booths and all sorts of fun things? I'm even dressed for it," she told him before shifting her expression into one of annoyance. "Even though I'm not properly dressed for a meeting with your family."
He took in her outfit with a quick glance. Her summer yukata was twilight blue and held neatly together at the waist with a pink obi. The garment was embroidered with mostly pink and yellow flowers, and her sleeves were edged with a complicated geometric design. She was also wearing her favourite chandelier earrings (he knew for a fact that they were detachable senbon), but her hair remained in its customary twin buns. "You look fine," he told her.
"You're just saying that," she complained good-naturedly, and flushed when he gave her a piercing look.
"No," he said quietly, "I'm not."
Her mouth made an 'o' of surprise. Suppressing a smirk, he slid a deft finger under her chin and snapped it shut. Her cheeks went from pink to red, and this time, he did smirk. She glared.
"I was just going to tell you that you looked nice, but I changed my mind," she told him and stuck her tongue out.
"Oh?" His gaze didn't waver. She spun on her heel and made as if she were going to walk away, and without looking he grabbed her hand and tugged her back firmly to his side. "And what," he said, lowering his voice so that she shivered, "would it take to change it back?"
She seemed to consider this and he viewed her with thinly veiled amusement. "Nothing,' she announced, half-heartedly trying to tug her hand from his. She scowled when he wouldn't let go and it deepened when he pulled her closer.
"Would you change your mind now?" he breathed in her ear. He felt her frame shake with suppressed laughter as she shook her head. "Very well," he murmured and kissed her.
Her lips were warm and soft and her free hand came up to cradle his cheek. "Now?" he asked, against her lips.
She smiled impishly. "No," she said simply, her fingers fluttering from his cheek to his lips so that he couldn't try the same trick. "But I will if you promise to take me to the festival after I see your family."
Despite his best intentions, he felt his lips curve under her hand. "Agreed."
"That's the last box," she said as she dropped it to the floor, dusting her hands off her capris absently. "I thought we'd never be done," she groaned, collapsing onto the only unoccupied space on her sofa.
"You still have to unpack," he reminded her, moving a couple of things so he could sit beside her.
"Don't remind me," she muttered. "I think the only spot in this entire apartment that's not occupied by dust, a box or something is the bed." She flushed when she realized what she had unintentionally implied, but Neji didn't seem to notice. Then again, she thought sourly, her boyfriend wasn't exactly the most observant person, no matter what he thought.
"You mean you've never EVER slept with him? Even though you've been dating for two years and are a pair of completely capable and most likely consenting adults?" an incredulous Ino asked, watching Tenten shrink into her chair.
"Even I managed to convince Sasuke after a few months," chimed in Sakura, stirring her milk tea thoughtfully. "Though Neji-san seems to be," and she paused for a moment, "shyer than Sasuke."
"Probably," Tenten replied, stirring her ice cream. "He won't even kiss me unless he wants to shut me up."
"Well," said Ino with a sly look, "I guess you're at least getting some hot and heavy makeout sessi—"
Tenten shoved her half-banana into Ino's mouth. Sakura giggled and Ino looked outraged. "I just wish they were makeout sessions," whined Tenten. "He doesn't even try to feel me up or ANYTHING!"
Ino began chewing the banana slowly. "I hope you get tongue at least," she commented.
Tenten just managed to miss the bowl of ice cream when she began hitting her head against the table. "Why are you picking on me?" she complained. "Why can't you pick on Hinata or something?"
Sakura snorted. "Like Naruto would know that he had to plug his object A into her tab B," she said. She paused. "But now I have serious doubts about Hinata too," she added thoughtfully.
Ino slid into the seat next to the wailing kunoichi, patting her back reassuringly. "There, there," she said, "that just means that you're going to have to be the one to take initiative."
"I've tried!" Tenten said, sitting upright so she could spoon some ice cream in her mouth. Ino shoved the remainder of her sundae at her friend when Tenten discovered that her dessert had melted. "Nothing works! He's just so DENSE!"
"Did you try the, 'it's so hot in here so I'm going to unbutton my shirt and show off my really lacy bra?'" queried Ino?
"He told me to open a window."
"Telling him that you were cold and asking if you could warm up in a more pleasant way?" ventured Sakura.
"Asked if I brought a blanket."
"Midnight picnics by the lake?"
Tenten sighed and took a savage bite out of Ino's sundae. "Told me that I was going to catch a cold if I didn't put on more clothing."
Ino blinked. Sakura looked sympathetic. "You know," Sakura said, leaning over to steal a spoonful of ice cream, "I had to ASK Sasuke whether or not he wanted to do it, and he said yes, and well…"
"I bet he's a one-position man," muttered Ino, yelping when Sakura kicked her. Tenten was so distraught that she didn't even smile at that.
"What you need to do," Sakura continued, shooting death glares at her best friend, "is talk to him." Her lips curved into what was an unmistakable smile. "I think you'd be pleasantly surprised."
"Or," whispered Ino, "you could always just tell him that Sasuke's getting laid and he isn't."
This time, it was Tenten's turn to kick her.
He flipped open a box that was sitting beside him on the sofa. "Toys?" he asked. Startled, she jumped and flushed.
"You're red," he observed.
"What's wrong with having toys? They have sentimental value," she defended.
"Nothing, unless seven boxes happened to be full of sentiment."
She laughed. "I guess I went a little overboard, but I wanted to bring everything with me when I moved out," she admitted, leaning back and stretching a bit. "By the way, thank you for helping," she said, kissing him on the cheek and lightly on the lips when he had no reaction. "I have a gift for you," she told him.
"Oh?"
Using her toe, she managed to drag a box over to the sofa. "Here," she said after a few moments.
"A wind chime."
She giggled. "It has a health charm attached to it," she told him. "Since you seem to always be in the hospital."
"Ahh." He didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or insult. "Thank you."
You know what a proper 'thank you' would consist of? She hastily squashed the lascivious part of her mind that sounded suspiciously like Ino and Sakura.
"Tenten, you're red again," noted Neji, puzzled. He knew full well that it wasn't from exertion and his instinct probably told him that she was in perfect health.
"Am I?" she asked, her hands flying up to cover her cheeks. "I mean, I am. It's probably from the heat," she said, unbuttoning her blouse nervously.
"I'll go open a windo—"
"Don't you dare," she snarled before he could get up. "I've spent too much time trying to seduce you and dammit, you're not going to ruin it again."
"…seduce me?"
"Like just now? Or remember that midnight picnic? And did you really forget about the time I flashed you my bra? And did your Byakugan really not notice that I've been using that goddamned contraceptive jutsu for months now and dammit Neji, don't you want to get laid?"
He blinked. "…okay…"
"THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE TO TAKE!" she nearly screamed, poking his shoulder at every word. "I'M HERE TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT I—"
His kiss was thorough and left her without coherent thought. "Is that the right attitude to take?" he murmured against her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone.
It was.
The first sound she heard were wind chimes.
"You're awake."
She turned her head towards the sound of the voice. "What am I doing here?" she asked, sitting up cautiously, shaking her head a bit. Her hair fell in loose waves around her face. "What happened?"
Neji raised a brow at her from his seat. "You used your twin dragons attack and killed the enemy. Then you fainted."
Tenten had to refrain from snorting. Neji was never a man of many words. "How long was I out?"
Neji gestured vaguely towards the window. "Two days. You exhausted yourself." He uncrossed his arms and for the first time, Tenten noticed the bandages wrapped around his right hand. "You should've left them to me."
"You were hurt!" she retorted, stunned. "What did you want me to do? You took a kunai through your hand! There was no way you could've performed most of your techniques with that kind of injury."
"If you allowed me to take on the enemy alone then that wouldn't have happened."
Tenten closed her eyes at the sting of his words. She knew her lover didn't mean it as an insult, but nevertheless, they hurt. "If you didn't realize," she said between gritted teeth, "Lee and I were supposed to cover you. It's our job to fight, Neji; you had the scroll. You should've left as quickly as possible instead of abandoning it to Lee."
"He was the fastest. It was only logical to give it to him once our cover was blown," he pointed out.
"You mean you didn't trust Lee to protect me," she said bitterly, leaning back into her pillows, exhausted. She turned her head away from his gaze to stare at the wind chimes. I gave him that, she thought, recognizing her gift from years ago. The health charm still hung from them, still as immaculate as the day she had given it to him.
"I never said that."
"But you might as well have," she exclaimed, exasperated. She turned back around to look at him, to let him see just exactly how angry she was. "Look, Neji, I would've been perfectly capable of handling the situation if you hadn't distracted me."
"A good ninja does not allow their emotions to intervene with the fight." She had the feeling that if he could have crossed his arms at his chest, he would have. "That's why I had to stay."
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. He just didn't understand. "You can't keep protecting me! I'm never going to be a great kunoichi like Tsunade-sama at this rate," she informed him. "I'm a ninja; that means that I will be risking my life, but it's a risk that I was aware of when I became a part of ANBU."
He narrowed his eyes until even she was frightened by the intensity in them. "Tenten," he said seriously, moving from the chair to sit on the side of the bed "if I hadn't been there, you would've been killed." He began to unwrap the bandages around his hand, never taking his eyes off hers. "Look."
The scar across his palm spanned at least two inches. There was a thin layer of greasy, yellow ointment smeared across it, but even so, it looked red and angry. It would be a scar that he'd carry for the rest of his life. She fought back tears, putting her head briefly on his left shoulder. Why, she asked herself, why was she so weak? Swallowing convulsively, she knew what she had to do.
"I love you," she said softly, filling the silence. "But I can't be with you any longer."
He stiffened almost imperceptibly. "Why not?" he demanded.
She lifted her head to look at him, fighting back tears. "Because of this," she told him, taking his right hand in both of hers. "Because you protect me and I can't protect you. Because no matter what, I'll never be your equal and I can't be in a relationship like that. I just can't."
"Tenten, don't be ridiculous," he snapped, pulling his hand away from hers and rebandaging it with quick movements. "I've never thought of you as my inferior."
"Maybe not consciously but…" she gripped handfuls of her hair, trying not to scream with frustration. "Look, Neji, when we spar, do you hold back?"
He blinked. "Of course I do."
"And if we ever have another mission together, will you continue to protect me?"
"Tenten, I don't see the poin—"
"Answer me."
He looked taken aback by her forwardness. "Yes," he said finally. "I would."
"And why?" she persisted.
"Because…" his voice trailed off.
She closed her eyes. "Precisely," she said, her voice hoarse. "That's why I can't be with you."
"I won't stand in your way any longer," he said. Her eyes flew open at the touch of his hand on her cheek. "I'll train with you everyday," he said, bringing his face closer to hers.
She tried to shake his touch away, but it lingered. "Neji, don't—"
Neji's kiss was unlike any other he had given her: hard, almost domineering. She could feel the hard wood of the headboard behind her pillow, the cotton of the sheets that she clutched, and the bandages on his hand. Using all of her strength, she pushed him away, gasping. "That's not going to work anymore," she told him.
He simply stared at her, and she turned her face away from his. Somewhere, she knew, she'd mend the broken pieces of her heart. She knew he would.
"Please leave," she finally said.
"Tente—"
"Just go, Neji." She closed her eyes, praying desperately that her tears wouldn't leak out. "Please. Just go."
She finally allowed herself to cry when she heard the door close behind him.
She stepped back to survey her handiwork and nodded to herself when the chimes sounded in the soft breeze that came in through the window.
"So that's what the noise was." She jumped and spun around. Neji was sitting up and watching her. She felt her cheeks grow warm.
"Sorry for disturbing you," she said, avoiding his eyes. "How long have you been awake for?"
"Long enough," he answered neutrally, his eyes never leaving her face. She shifted and opened her mouth to say something when he asked, "How long?"
She closed her mouth with a snap, knowing he wasn't going to like the answer. "Two days. You lost a lot of blood and Tsunade-sama said that your body suffered at least three severe electric shocks, not to mention the lacerations, whiplashes and burn marks." Her eyes filled with tears, which she quickly blinked back. "Dammit Neji, you were supposed to escape yourself, not get beaten to a bloody pulp and rescued."
His eyebrow rose at the last word. "Who?" he asked, his voice oddly flat.
"I did," she told him, a little defiant. "Lee and Shino had left with the information while Sakura and I waited. When you didn't show up at the rendezvous point at the appointed time, I went and got you out." She shrugged as if it were a very simple thing.
"Tenten, there were at least fifty guards, not to mention the fact that I was imprisoned in a cell in the Kage's basement," Neji said, somewhat incredulous. "And you carried me?"
She coughed. "I used my chakra strings and made it look like you were moving of your own will," she admitted.
"You should've cut your losses and run," he told her. "You shouldn't have let your emotions get involved."
"And what was I supposed to do?" she snapped, turning away from him so she could look out the window. "Leave you there, knowing fully well that they were torturing you to death?"
"And if you had been captured? You would've been tortured alongside with me," he shot back.
"Only if I'd been caught," she informed him calmly, regaining her composure enough so that she could look him in the eye. "I've been training you know."
There was so much left unsaid between them that it hurt. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and it suddenly became difficult to breathe. "Tenten," he started, "I'm—"
"Don't," she interrupted, closing her eyes so that she didn't have to look at him. "I'm not nearly as strong as you and I don't know if I'll ever be but I'm going to keep trying." She took a deep breath and tried her best not to shake. "I just came to see how you were doing. I didn't expect you to wake up." His grunt of pain made her open her eyes and she swore when she realized that he had tried to climb out of bed. "Don't get up," she said, moving to his side and pushing him back down. She was disconcerted to realize how little strength he had.
A ghost of a smile flickered around his lips. "So you do care about me."
She scowled. "I didn't save your sorry ass only to have you kill yourself," she told him, pulling the covers around him. "I'll go find a doctor. I should've done that the moment you woke up."
He caught her hand before she could leave his side. "Marry me," he said suddenly. She felt something inside of her break and very slowly mend itself but she ignored it.
"Please don't do this," she said quietly, turning her head away so he couldn't see the tears slip down her cheeks. "Don't make this any harder for the both of us."
"I'm not," he told her. "You're the one making it difficult."
She swallowed and looked at him, letting him see how much he was affecting her. Her voice, however, was steady. "Give me one good reason why I should marry you."
There was silence. Eternities came and left, and still he had no answer.
"Forget it," sighed Tenten, tugging her hand loose and turning around. She had already given up on making things work with Neji. "Goodbye Neji."
"Fate."
She spun on her heel to look at him, stunned. "Did you really mean that?"
"Yes." His gaze never wavered.
"I thought you didn't believe in fate," she said, half laughing and half accusing.
"I don't," he answered, "but I do when it comes to you."
She took a deep, shuddering breath and closed her eyes. Eternities passed, and she remembered the story of them.
I also know what it's like to lose a parent
Would you change your mind now?
Is that the right attitude to take?
Because you protect me and I can't protect you. Because no matter what, I'll never be your equal...
I've been training
"Well?" And even his smirk, that one trademark of his that she had grown to hate and love, seemed to have been buried underneath something.
She opened her eyes, half blurred by tears and uncertainty, and gave him her answer. "Yes."