Laughs, Tears, And Coca-Cola
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, so stop asking me, Dammit!
Explanation: Bring out the tissues, 'cause I got a sad one for ya! It's from Miroku's point of view, just so you know. So, If you feel you are ready, read on! It's kinda short though.
That is Why I Cry
I thought that I could handle it, knowing exactly how, and roughly when, I would die. Now look at me, reduced to this mess that I am. I did not cry when my father died and this curse was passed on to me. I didn't cry when the Kazaana had almost taken me the first time, and I did not shed a tear as Mushin pushed the needle through the tender flesh of my palm. And yet, I cry now. No, I do not cry, I sob. I thought I was stronger. What has pushed me to this point? Even as I ask myself that, I know the answer. It's her.
Who is she, you may ask? Alas, I cannot describe her. Her body is slender, yet powerful, and she carries herself with an air of confidence. Her hair is long and dark brown in color; unbelievably smooth and with a seemingly inability to tangle. Her face is blessed by the smoothest of skin, and her lips are alluring and full. And yet, what drew me to her at first were her eyes. And no, I don't mean the eye liner she constantly wears (though it is attractive), but her eyes themselves. Large and brown, they reflect the deep sadness that has plagued her past. And yet, when she is happy, they shine with all the brightness of a child. And when I see that, I want more than anything to make them like that permanently.
But I know that I can't. I do not have the time in life. And that is why I cry. Because I'll never see those pains disappear. And I know that if… no, when I die, will only cause her more pain. Don't think that I'm a fool. I know that she has feelings for me. Stronger feelings than she should have. And I won't say I don't have feelings for her either. But at the rate this little quest is going, my Kazaana will have claimed me long before we have a chance to express those feelings. So for now, all that I can do is push her away. I know, rude, right? But if it keeps even one less ounce of sadness from flooding her heart when I die, then it is well worth it. I like her… love her too much, and I can't stand seeing her in pain, never mind rest in peace when I know that the pain was caused by me.
Kagome tells me to think about her feelings, what she would want. But Kagome is different than I. Kagome's eyes are clouded to the point she cannot see past the near future, but I look at the long run. I realize that she may be happy for the time that I am alive, but after I pass she will sink into an even deeper depression than she is in now. And her life will continue. She'll find another man; she'll settle down and have a multitude of little children. How I wish those children could be mine! But, alas, fate has not destined it to be so. And, being a monk, I know more about fate than many. So when I imagine the future, it is only her, for I will be dead.
But for the time I am alive, I have to just keep her from getting too close. And it saddens me, for I will never see her truly smile. I will never make her happy again. I will never see her grow old with her family. And I will never hold my dear Sango in my arms and call her mine.
That is why I turn away.
That is why I cry.
Fin.
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Luv yas all!