Chapter 2 - Jackass Jeff Gordon's Last Day
Bobby wakes up and goes into Dale's club. Kerry meets him.
KERRY: Hey Bobby, I'll get Dale. DALE! COME HERE! DALE: Yea Kerry! Oh hey Bobby, what's up? BOBBY: Not much. (Kerry leaves the room)
DALE: Bobby, hey, I told you, you have work now, here's your first mission! BOBBY: Alright, cool, what is it?
DALE: There's a guy named Jeff Gordon, he and a guy named Robby Gordon claim they are brothers. They aren't though. But most people think they are. I know they aren't. But they've owed me money for way too damn long! I want you to go to the Burger King at Portland View, near Portland Harbor. Go in there and block the entrance with your car, the Dodge Dakota truck. You have to kill Jeff Gordon! If there are any cops or Evolution Stution members in there either, cops have the blue suits as you know and the Evolution Stution members are in Tuxedos usually, that or T-Shirts and sweatpants. And if your wondering what's in it for you. A fantastic first- day paycheck. Now run along. And comeback to tell me, you've finished him off. The guys a mother freakin' Pretty Boy Jackass Punk. Cya later Bobby.
BOBBY: Bye
Bobby goes outside to see Kerry with a Dodge Dakota, and a few members of Dale's group.
KERRY: Plus, here's your own Red Dodge Dakota and a few members of Dale's group to help you with your mission. You still get the same amount in your paycheck with or without these men. To be exact there's 4 of them. So 2 can sit in the front, and 2 can sit in the back. Cya Bobby, guys get in the truck!
ALL 4 MEN: Yes Kerry!
So Bobby gets in the drivers seat with a member in each of the front passenger seats. There's 2 members in each side of the truck's back seats. (So it's Member, Empty, Member). In a few minutes, they arrive at Burger King. Bobby blocks the entrance with his truck as him and his members go inside. Jeff Gordon is sitting by the window eating a Burger.
MEMBER: Bobby, take this sniper rifle, go behind the counter and shoot Jeff. We'll take care of the cops and Evolution Stution's members. There are 2 Evolution members and 2 cops. Now! Go!
Bobby walks behind the counter with the sniper rifle and takes a close aim at Jeff Gordon, he fires at Jeff's head and Jeff's head falls off. People in the restaurant start screaming and running around. Meanwhile, the members of Dale's club have shotguns, they killed the 2 members of ES (Evolution Stution) and the 2 cops. Also all the screaming people. Then they escape. They also go back to the club. In a few minutes they arrive at the club, they go inside where Dale Jr. is waiting.
DALE: So? BOBBY: I killed Jeff Gordon, I shot his head off with the sniper gun. Your members killed all the screaming people, 2 members of Evolution Stution and 2 cops that were there. So the screaming people are also the workers. So there is no evidence that we did it. DALE: Good job. Bobby, here's your paycheck, eight-thousand dollars!
BOBBY: Thanks!
Bobby goes back to his house.
At a Police Station. Chief Wiggum (THE SIMPSONS!) reports to his officers.
WIGGUM: Men, we have lost 2 of our members today. Cause some local bastards killed them. OFFICER #1: OH MY GOD! WIGGUM: May those 2 officers, Rest in Peace! Rest In Hell! Rest as Fags! Rest as... OFFICER #2: Chief, you've said enough. WIGGUM: Very well, you men may get back to work.
At Robby Gordon's house..
The doorbell rings, a policeman is at the door.
POLICEMAN: Are you Robby Gordon, sir? ROBBY: Yeah. POLICEMAN: Well, your brother, Jeff, has died!
ROBBY: What?
POLICEMAN: Yes, local criminals attacked Burger King and killed 26 people. Your brother was one of them. ROBBY: SHIT! I THINK I KNOW WHO DID IT TOO!
POLICEMAN: Who?
ROBBY: NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! GET OUT! POLICEMAN: Ok.
(Policeman leaves)
At Evolution Stution's casino, Ric Flair reports to Triple H as he is watching a woman strip in front of him.
RIC: Yo Hunter!
HUNTER: Yeah Nach!
RIC: Someone killed 2 of our members!
HUNTER: So! We have tons more!
RIC: Yeah oh well. HUNTER: You wanna join me Ric?
RIC: Sure.
At Bobby's house he is watching TV, he sees a report on the news. The newscaster Kent Brockman (DA SIMPSONS!) is reporting.
KENT: In other news today, the Burger King in Portland View was attacked today by men or people. No evidence with the exception of dead bodies was found. We know that 10 workers, 2 cops, and 16 people were killed. There were no survivors. The police are investigating right now.
BOBBY: (Talking to the TV) And you never will find out! HAHAHA!
Bobby wakes up and goes into Dale's club. Kerry meets him.
KERRY: Hey Bobby, I'll get Dale. DALE! COME HERE! DALE: Yea Kerry! Oh hey Bobby, what's up? BOBBY: Not much. (Kerry leaves the room)
DALE: Bobby, hey, I told you, you have work now, here's your first mission! BOBBY: Alright, cool, what is it?
DALE: There's a guy named Jeff Gordon, he and a guy named Robby Gordon claim they are brothers. They aren't though. But most people think they are. I know they aren't. But they've owed me money for way too damn long! I want you to go to the Burger King at Portland View, near Portland Harbor. Go in there and block the entrance with your car, the Dodge Dakota truck. You have to kill Jeff Gordon! If there are any cops or Evolution Stution members in there either, cops have the blue suits as you know and the Evolution Stution members are in Tuxedos usually, that or T-Shirts and sweatpants. And if your wondering what's in it for you. A fantastic first- day paycheck. Now run along. And comeback to tell me, you've finished him off. The guys a mother freakin' Pretty Boy Jackass Punk. Cya later Bobby.
BOBBY: Bye
Bobby goes outside to see Kerry with a Dodge Dakota, and a few members of Dale's group.
KERRY: Plus, here's your own Red Dodge Dakota and a few members of Dale's group to help you with your mission. You still get the same amount in your paycheck with or without these men. To be exact there's 4 of them. So 2 can sit in the front, and 2 can sit in the back. Cya Bobby, guys get in the truck!
ALL 4 MEN: Yes Kerry!
So Bobby gets in the drivers seat with a member in each of the front passenger seats. There's 2 members in each side of the truck's back seats. (So it's Member, Empty, Member). In a few minutes, they arrive at Burger King. Bobby blocks the entrance with his truck as him and his members go inside. Jeff Gordon is sitting by the window eating a Burger.
MEMBER: Bobby, take this sniper rifle, go behind the counter and shoot Jeff. We'll take care of the cops and Evolution Stution's members. There are 2 Evolution members and 2 cops. Now! Go!
Bobby walks behind the counter with the sniper rifle and takes a close aim at Jeff Gordon, he fires at Jeff's head and Jeff's head falls off. People in the restaurant start screaming and running around. Meanwhile, the members of Dale's club have shotguns, they killed the 2 members of ES (Evolution Stution) and the 2 cops. Also all the screaming people. Then they escape. They also go back to the club. In a few minutes they arrive at the club, they go inside where Dale Jr. is waiting.
DALE: So? BOBBY: I killed Jeff Gordon, I shot his head off with the sniper gun. Your members killed all the screaming people, 2 members of Evolution Stution and 2 cops that were there. So the screaming people are also the workers. So there is no evidence that we did it. DALE: Good job. Bobby, here's your paycheck, eight-thousand dollars!
BOBBY: Thanks!
Bobby goes back to his house.
At a Police Station. Chief Wiggum (THE SIMPSONS!) reports to his officers.
WIGGUM: Men, we have lost 2 of our members today. Cause some local bastards killed them. OFFICER #1: OH MY GOD! WIGGUM: May those 2 officers, Rest in Peace! Rest In Hell! Rest as Fags! Rest as... OFFICER #2: Chief, you've said enough. WIGGUM: Very well, you men may get back to work.
At Robby Gordon's house..
The doorbell rings, a policeman is at the door.
POLICEMAN: Are you Robby Gordon, sir? ROBBY: Yeah. POLICEMAN: Well, your brother, Jeff, has died!
ROBBY: What?
POLICEMAN: Yes, local criminals attacked Burger King and killed 26 people. Your brother was one of them. ROBBY: SHIT! I THINK I KNOW WHO DID IT TOO!
POLICEMAN: Who?
ROBBY: NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! GET OUT! POLICEMAN: Ok.
(Policeman leaves)
At Evolution Stution's casino, Ric Flair reports to Triple H as he is watching a woman strip in front of him.
RIC: Yo Hunter!
HUNTER: Yeah Nach!
RIC: Someone killed 2 of our members!
HUNTER: So! We have tons more!
RIC: Yeah oh well. HUNTER: You wanna join me Ric?
RIC: Sure.
At Bobby's house he is watching TV, he sees a report on the news. The newscaster Kent Brockman (DA SIMPSONS!) is reporting.
KENT: In other news today, the Burger King in Portland View was attacked today by men or people. No evidence with the exception of dead bodies was found. We know that 10 workers, 2 cops, and 16 people were killed. There were no survivors. The police are investigating right now.
BOBBY: (Talking to the TV) And you never will find out! HAHAHA!