Disclaimer: If you see an unattended bag, go up and talk to her.

Chapter Four

Naruto watched Sasuke out of the corner of his eye, making sure to keep the other boy in his sight. He didn't want him trying anything funny…plus he didn't know the way out and Sasuke seemed to know exactly where he was going. But still, Sasuke was up to something. Naruto lagged behind slightly, still keeping his eyes trained on Sasuke. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that Sasuke was trying to kiss him; after yesterday the idea wasn't so farfetched. He was just always there, like he was just waiting for the opportunity, or showing up to create one. It was most definitely not chance that had lead the dark-haired boy into the ANBU training area that was for sure. But this was Sasuke and he just didn't do this sort of thing.

Did he?

Naruto dragged his feet, making small tracks in old dried up leaves that littered the ground as he thought.

He knew better then to ask the other boy because he wouldn't get a straight answer and he wasn't really sure he could ask. Lately, when it came to the other boy, he was lucky if he got out an entire sentence; hell, he was lucky if he stuck around long enough to even attempt speech. But then there was also the question of why. Why would Sasuke want to kiss him?

Naruto snorted.

Why would Sasuke want to kiss him?

The blond boy laughed out loud. No, he couldn't even try thinking of an answer for that because the question itself was far too ridiculous. Naruto shook the idea from his mind and focused on the well-trodden path in front of him. He glanced at Sasuke, jumping a little when he found the other boy looking in his direction.

He quickly looked at the ground, staring at the tracks he had made…at least five minutes ago. Frowning, Naruto traced the tracks with his eyes until he couldn't see them anymore then checked the ones behind him. They were identical. His eyebrow began to twitch and he snapped his head up to glare at Sasuke, "do you even know where you're going!" he demanded, "or is your head so far up your ass that you haven't noticed we've been walking around in circles?" Naruto bit out, frustration flowing off him in waves-he could have been at home with his (cooked) ramen ages ago.

Sasuke looked at him briefly, the same unreadable expression from earlier on his face, before he turned and continued down the path.

"Oi! Did you hear me, asshole?" Naruto yelled as he jogged to catch up with the other boy.

When Sasuke didn't responded the blonde dove in front of him, effectively stopping the other boy in his tracks.

"What's your problem!" Naruto snapped, glaring at the dark-haired boy.

Sasuke took a step towards him, his eyes narrowing but he said nothing.

Naruto stepped back automatically, his gaze turning into one of confusion when the other boy continued to stay silent. What was he playing at? Giving him the silent treatment was something Sasuke had done when they were Genin and as far as Naruto knew they were way past the silent treatment now. If they had a problem with each other they used their fists.

Naruto took another step back as Sasuke stepped towards him, hardly noticing the action.

And it wasn't like the other boy to be so quiet. Sure, he wasn't exactly the person you would actively seek out for a conversation but he at least answered when he was spoken to. Something was up.

Naruto's thoughts were washed from his mind when his back hit a hard trunk of a tree and alarm bells started to ring in his head.

Sasuke had backed him up against the tree- and he hadn't even noticed.

Naruto swore.

"Yes, no, yes and you." Sasuke said quietly as he leaned in towards Naruto, his lips twitching up into a smirk.

"W-what?"

"The answers to your questions, dobe."

"My…" Naruto thought back to his earlier questions, trying to fit the other boys' answers to them but before he could even start he felt the other boy's warm breath against his cheek. Instinct took over.

Suddenly ducking down, the blonde dived under Sasuke's arm and ran for it, heading towards a narrow break in the trees and only just managing to squeeze through it. Leaving a few scrapes of his t-shirt behind him, Naruto continued to run, speeding up when he suddenly realised he was in familiar territory. The Village was just through the trees…

And so was the hill. You know -the one he just fell down.

Naruto lay still for a moment, almost literally eating dirt as he lay at the bottom of the small drop and concentrated on breathing. His heart was thudding in his chest and he could hear the sound of his blood rushing through his veins, roaring in his ears. He'd panicked. He'd damn well panicked…over Sasuke. Again. Fuck.

Once he was sure he had himself under control, Naruto pulled himself to his hands and knees and looked around, his feeling of triumph that he recognised where he was dampened by his annoyance at himself.

Naruto collapsed into the chair, his arms falling limply at his sides.

Sasuke was trying to kiss him.

This was worse than he ever could have imagined, it was bad when the kisses were accidental but now he had to deal with the other boy trying to kiss him-as in, he would be doing it on purpose!

Naruto sat up a little and leaned his elbows on the table, his hands cradling his head. This was just far beyond anything Naruto could fathom; none of it made sense, Sasuke didn't go around trying to kiss people and if he did, Naruto was sure he wouldn't be the other boys first choice…or second, or third, or fourth-

He could just be messing with me…

But this just had to be disturbing Sasuke as well, he couldn't really want to kiss him.

Right?

Naruto sighed; this was giving him a headache. All he wanted to do was eat some ramen and then, finally, get some much-needed uninterrupted, dreamless sleep.

But of course, he didn't have any ramen because somebody-

Wait…he did have ramen!

Naruto stood up suddenly and raced towards his cupboard, flinging it open as he came to stop in front of it.

Ramen. The blond grinned, snatched out three cups and set them on the counter. First he was going to eat till he couldn't eat any more…and then he was going to sleep.

When Naruto woke up the next morning -he had a new plan. All the plans he had had so far had failed him, but this time it would all work out.

He was calling in a favour.

After a quick shower Naruto headed out of his apartment, locking the door as he went because if this worked, he wouldn't be coming home tonight.

Not wanting to waste any time, Naruto leaped onto the nearest rooftop and speed across it-leaping onto the next a moment later.

Continuing along the path of rooftops Naruto caught a flash of movement to his left and, slowing his speed down a bit he tracked the movement before making a sudden leap towards it.

"Got ya!" Naruto said triumphantly as he caught the person around the waist, tackling them to the ground.

Grinning, Naruto pulled himself up to stand, "you know Konohamaru, you're getting better," he laughed, helping the younger boy to his feet, "but you'll never be abl-"

Naruto was cut off as the other boy pounced on him, catching him off guard and knocking them both to the ground.

Now, it was Konohamaru's turn to grin, "hehehe…"

"What the hell!" Naruto yelled, pushing the other boy off him, "that doesn't count!" he continued, glaring at the still grinning Konohamaru.

"Sorry!" the black-haired boy said, not sounding it in the least.

Naruto growled softly, dusting himself off, "…yeah, yeah…"

"Ne, Naruto-nii-chan?"

"Yeah?" the blond said, looking up to meet the other boy's gaze only to find Konohamaru staring right past him. "What?" he asked, following his gaze.

Sasuke.

"Nice to see you, gotta go, bye!" Naruto said in a rush, leaping back onto the rooftop and speeding off once again.

That was close.

With his new plan, Naruto had also come to another decision. His pride could go to hell. If he saw Sasuke-he was just going to run no matter what. He hadn't dwelled much on the idea of Sasuke trying to kiss him because really, even though all signs pointed to it being true; and those signs were bolded and underlined and lit up like santas workshop at Christmas—he just couldn't get his head around it. It didn't make sense and didn't fit. So fleeing and hiding till the whole thing was over seemed a safe bet.

Coming up to the Village centre, Naruto swept his eyes over the surrounding buildings, making sure he had a clear path ahead of him before continuing his way towards the Hokage offices.

He was almost there!

Making the final leap, Naruto landed in front of the main entrance and quickly made his way inside; stopping when he came to Tsunade's office to calm his breathing then, as though he owned the place, strolled into her office.

The doors closed behind him with a soft click and Naruto looked around the room, noting the Hokage's empty chair before walking towards the desk.

"Oi! Old Hag?" the blond called out, walking around the desk to sit languidly in the large chair. This will be my chair one day, Naruto thought with a grin, leaning back and resting his head against the soft backing of the chair; swaying from side to side as his imagination continued his thought. He started slightly at the sound of quiet as they voices reached his ears, breaking through his daydream. They were coming from the balcony. Leaning back further Naruto strained his ears, trying to make out the voices.

Old Hag…and…

Damn, he couldn't quite hear the other person…

Continuing to lean back, Naruto hooked his feet under the edge of the desk to stop him from falling and turned his head towards the opening of the balcony where he could clearly see two shadows…moving towards him.

"Thank-you, Hokage-sama," said an all too familiar voice.

"What!" the exclamation was out of Naruto's mouth before he could stop it, but it wouldn't have mattered if he could have stopped it or not because just as the surprised sound exited his mouth, his feet slipped from the edge of the table and he, and the chair, tumbled over backwards, landing out on the balcony in a sprawl right at Sasuke and the old hag's feet.

"Dobe,"

Naruto flipped over backwards into a crouch before standing to face Tsunade, a look of betrayal on his face, "what is he doing here!" the blond demanded, pointing at Sasuke though he didn't turn to look at him.

"Naruto, how lovely to see you," Tsunade said pleasantly, ignoring his question completely, "did you need something?" she continued, walking around her desk to stand on the other side. She motioned to the chair still lying on the ground. "Fix that, would you?"

Naruto stared at her. Why was she being so…normal?

Pushing the chair back up, Naruto pointedly ignored Sasuke and walked around the desk to stand in front of the Hokage, "I want a mission," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest and putting on his best 'you don't get a say in this' expression.

Tsunade smiled, "really?" she asked, her eyes shining with something close to mischief.

Naruto's eyes narrowed in suspicion and he stole a quick glance at Sasuke-who was smirking.

He suspicion grew.

"Yes…"

Tsunade's smile grew as well, "any mission?" she questioned, her eyes flicking over in Sasuke's direction for a second before coming back to rest on him.

Naruto's suspicion was confirmed.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Naruto began walking towards the door, "…damn it, of all the people…" he muttered tiredly as he left, resisting his overwhelming urge to slam the door behind him.

This was just perfect. His plan failed-before he could even really start it. He just wanted it to be over, this entire week, god-the entire tradition-he just wanted it to end.

Two more days.

Naruto scowled at the thought. It was still far too long in his opinion.

The blond slowly walked down the middle of one of the many streets of Konoha, occasionally stepping out of the way of random shoppers, lost in thought. If he couldn't get a mission, what was there left to do? Hiding didn't seem to work-no matter where he was Sasuke seemed to always find him. If only he could disappear…just for the rest of today and tomorrow…

"Oh…." Naruto's eyes lit up suddenly as his mind quickly came up with his next plan.

"That could work," he said, a slow smile gracing his lips.

Looking around him a moment the blond quickly dived behind a nearby stall and, with some quick hand movements, said the words that had been the downfall of many.

"Sexy no Jutsu!"

This plan was perfect. Absolutely perfect. This time it absolutely had to be.

Naruto looked down at his new female body, examining the series of extremely feminine bulges under his clothes, and felt his mouth widen in a grin. Like this he could disappear for two days. Like this Sasuke would never even dream of bothering him. Like this Naruto was perfectly safe.

This was the ultimate perfect plan!

Rock Lee crossed the street quickly, dodging in between an old woman taking her granddaughter for a walk and a young woman carrying groceries and in a manful display of restraint, managed to resist his urge to offer to help the woman with her groceries as he looked around quickly for his escaped quarry.

He'd been following Naruto, on and off, for four days now in an attempt to get Sasuke into a position where he could challenge him to another of their perpetually interrupted fights. He'd gained in strength and he'd gained in prowess, it was only right that he now challenged the last of Konoha's Uchiha clan in a mainly battle to decide who of them was the strongest.

But to do that he needed to find said Uchiha, and to do that Lee had been following Naruto, figuring that where one was, the other would soon follow-and in that idea he had been right. Just a little too right for his liking, though.

It seemed that no matter where Naruto went, Sasuke was. If Naruto went to the shop, Sasuke was in it; if Naruto walked down the street, Sasuke was walking down it too; if Naruto went camping in a restricted ANBU training ground, Sasuke was in the same place. To Lee it looked suspicious.

He admitted that, being an outsider, he didn't know if perhaps it could just be some odd brand of training the two boys had come up with, but with the way Naruto had seemed to be growing more stressed as the days progressed Lee had come to the conclusion that it probably wasn't training.

In fact he was sure it wasn't something Naruto wanted at all; for some reason Sasuke seemed to be tormenting the blonde boy, following him everywhere and making sure Naruto knew he was doing it. Therefore Lee had made a decision; he would use his newly found prowess and fighting skills to protect Naruto from whatever Sasuke's nefarious design happened to be.

Finally spotting a tuft of sunshine blonde hair, Lee dodged through the intervening people and leapt in front of the orange clad person, striking a pose as he stopped. "Naruto-kun!" the word was a declaration, "I have decided that…" he paused suddenly and then dropped his pose and bowed slightly, "Oh, I'm sorry miss, I thought you were someone I knew."

The blonde girl glared at him fiercely, "what do you want, Fuzzy-eyebrows!"

Lee blinked.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" the girl continued, oblivious to Lee's startled expression, "and don't talk to me, Sasuke's sure to find me if people are drawing attention! Buzz off!"

Lee blinked again as the girl stomped around him and continued her march down the street. It took a moment for his thoughts to form coherently, but when they did it was with the burn of understanding. Naruto was using henge in an attempt to confuse his enemy, using a form so completely different from his own as a tactic to make himself invisible.

"What a perfect plan!" Lee yelled suddenly, startling the people walking around him, and then turned and bounded off down the street, after the blonde girl that was really Naruto. Whatever Sasuke was planning, Lee would help protect Naruto from it no matter what, or he'd climb to the top of Konoha's tallest tree and do a full training cycle twice without falling off!

Naruto glared at Lee's back, his irritation growing as the other boy used one of his 'secret signals' to show that the road ahead was clear.

At first, it had almost seemed like a good idea to have the overly enthusiastic boy around-in fact, for a while there, it had been fun. But now, now it was just down right irritating. When the other boy had declared his plan of protection to Naruto he had made it sound much less…annoying. After the first half an hour, Lee had come up with serval different hand signals to let Naruto know if Sasuke was near, whether or not the road a head was clear of 'enemy spies' and, for some reason, a signal to let him know if Lee spotted an animal in need of help.

That one, he just didn't get.

A few times the other boy had tackled him to the ground, claiming he had sensed danger and then, to top it all off, after the first few hours Lee had started a running commentary on everything he saw. Everything. And when the two had stopped for a quick lunch, an old lady had mistaken them as a couple-a couple, telling them how great it was to see such love in the younger generation. She had even had the audacity to wink at him-telling him he had a 'great catch' and told him not to let Lee slip through his fingers.

Naruto almost wished Sasuke would come along and kidnap him, just so he could get away. But they hadn't seen Sasuke at all, though Naruto could swear he was being watched; he could feel it, that little prickle-Sasuke was definitely nearby.

It was late in the afternoon now and the two boys were heading back to the ramen stand for an early dinner, Lee leading the way. As they neared a corner, Lee motioned for him to stop before cautiously stepping towards it and, using quick reflexes that had been expertly honed from years of training, poked his head around the side of the building and then dodged back again. Shaking his head slightly he gesticulated vaguely at the blonde; it took Naruto a moment to identify the gesture as the one Lee had assigned to 'enemy spies'.

Naruto rolled his eyes, allowing Lee to drag him bodily down the street in the opposite direction before forcibly shoving him down a small side road.

"Phew!" Lee let out before turning to Naruto, his eyes shining with concern, "are you okay Naruto-kun?" he asked, already looking him over for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine!" Naruto snapped, stepping away from the other boy, "what was it this time!" he demanded, thinking back over the earlier incidents-all of which had been false alarms.

"Shikamaru and Ino were right around the corner…I don't understand how they could have found us…" Lee replied, Naruto's harsh demeanor not affecting him at all, "it seems I may have underestimated our enemies," he paused, a thoughtful look on his face. "But never fear my good friend!" he declared suddenly, startling the other boy, "I shall not make the same mistake twice!"

Naruto stared at Lee flatly, the expression looking most unbecoming on his female face, "right. Can we go now?" the blond asked, already walking down the small road.

"Wait! I haven't secured the street yet!" Lee yelled as he ran after the other boy.

Several minutes later the pair arrived at the ramen stand, Naruto's mood lightening considerably just by looking at the place, but before he could take a seat Lee stepped in front of him, holding his arm out to stop Naruto from moving forward.

"Wait, I'll check for traps," the green-clad boy stated and carefully approached the stand.

Naruto's eyebrow began to twitch as he watched the dark-haired boy put pressure on each of the stools before quickly stepping away from them, as if expecting them to blow up.

"What kind of traps could there possibly be?" Naruto said in an annoyed tone, crossing his arms over his sizable chest.

"Sasuke is a very well trained ninja; he could have set any number of traps," Lee paused, his eyes narrowing as the old ramen man stepped up behind the counter, ready to take their orders.

"The usual?" he asked Naruto, a fond smile on his face.

"Yup!" the blond said happily, stepping forward to take a seat only to be tackled to the ground yet again.

Struggling for air, Naruto roughly pushed the other boy off him, "what the hell do yo-"

Naruto was cut off, Lee's face suddenly inches away from his own, "this could be a trap," he whispered furtively and slowly helped the other boy to his feet before turning to the ramen man, his expression one of deep suspicion.

"What kind of ramen do you sell?" he asked, his tone distrustful and before the old man had a chance to answer, the dark-haired boy let out a string of questions. "What are the specials? Do you cook the ramen with oil or water? How long have you worked here? When were you born? What is your name? Are you working for Uchiha-kun!"

Silence fell as Lee finished his questioning and eyed the old man expectantly.

"Ahh…"

Naruto stared at Lee a moment before smacking the other boy over the head. Hard. "What is wrong with you?" the blond snapped, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately, "he does not work for bloody Sasuke! He was just taking our orders!"

Lee stood his ground a moment longer but gave in after a few minutes, bowing and apologising until the old man was out of sight, "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," he said sincerely, taking a seat. "I was just taking precautions, it would be easy for Sasuke to infiltrate such a place-we must be careful."

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto said, also taking a seat, "but I doubt even he would set traps-besides, what would be the point of setting a trap here?" he scoffed, resting his elbows on the counter.

Lee sat up a little straighter, his eyes shining oddly, "the point?" he echoed, his voice taking on a teacher-like quality, "Naruto-kun, your negligence towards this amazes me! Do you realise how easily Sasuke could have gotten hold of you by setting a simple trap here?" he paused to look at the blond with disbelieving eyes before he began listing off on his fingers exactly how the other boy could have been caught. "First of all, the old man could have been Sasuke. Right now he would be poisoning your ramen! Second, the chairs! You didn't even think twice before sitting down-for all you know, they could have been booby-trapped! And thri-"

Naruto stopped Lee's list with a wave of his hand, "what could he possibly have done to the chairs? Come on-you're ove-"

Before Naruto could finish Lee had pulled the stool out from under him, causing the blond to land painfully on the ground.

The green-clad ninja waved the stool in Naruto's face-his expression gravely serious. "This could have been rigged with some kind of smoke bomb-Sasuke would have grabbed you and I'd have been none the wiser! For all we know he could have put some sort of Jutsu on it and you could have been stuck here-like some sort of lamb to the saluter! Why…Sasuke could be the stool!" Lee stopped his rant abruptly, staring at the stool with distrustful eyes.

Naruto's eyebrow began to twitch yet again as Lee continued his examination of the stool, his eyes narrowed as he experimentally poked at it.

"Oh, for the love of…" Naruto stood up, absentmindedly dusting off his pants as he turned to give a small wave to the ramen man before glancing back at Lee, who was still deeply immersed in his task of uncovering the stool-Sasuke.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Again. Lee was just far too much trouble sometimes, Naruto decided as he slowly stepped away from the ramen stand; he had plenty of food at home.

Walking backwards to make sure Lee didn't become aware of his escape, Naruto paused slightly when he came to the side road he and Lee had taken and glanced back at the stand as the dark-haired boy began to shake the stool, causing passers-by to stop and stare. Turning to move down the road, the blonde's eyes widened as a cool hand was suddenly pressed against his mouth cutting off his ability to speak before he was roughly pulled into the side road, his back meeting with the solid concrete of one of the buildings. Bracing himself for a fight, Naruto made to push back against his attacker when the hand over his mouth disappeared, making him start slightly. Looking up to get a glimpse of whoever it was the blonde's view was obscured by a puff of smoke and Naruto glance down at himself in something akin to shock. He was a boy again.

"Eh…?" was all Naruto could say as he continued to look down at himself. What the hell…

"Nice try, dobe."

Naruto's head whipped up at the words and his mouth fell open to form a small 'o'.

Sasuke. Of course it would be him. As if his day couldn't get any worse, did Sasuke have to ruin all his plans? First Sasuke, then Sasuke again and again and then Lee and now Sasuke yet again, why did he bother? Naruto just wanted it to be—

"Over," he said out loud, closing his eyes. Why couldn't it just be over? Naruto was sure he didn't want to kiss the other boy but at this point, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make-just so he could have his sanity back if nothing else. Reopening his eyes Naruto stared at Sasuke, slowly assessing him in his mind. The other boy wasn't all that bad to look at he supposed, and it's not like he had to enjoy the kiss-he just had to get it over with. Yeah, like it was a mission or something. Just one more thing he had to get out of the way, it didn't have to mean anything.

It was just a kiss.

Naruto took a deep breath and tried to look the other boy in the eyes, failing that, he settled instead to stare at a point just past Sasuke's head.

"Okay," was all he could say, his eyes flickering to Sasuke's for a split second before quickly looking away again.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he moved towards him slightly, "what?"

Naruto mumbled something unintelligible, still concentrating on the wall behind Sasuke.

"Stop mumbling, dobe."

"I said," Naruto snapped out finally meeting the other boy's gaze, "just get it over with," He repeated forcefully, now glaring at Sasuke.

"Get what over with?"

"You know what I mean!"

Sasuke returned Naruto's glare and stepped towards him, "no, I don't."

"Yes, you do!" Naruto said almost desperately, refusing to flat out say it.

"No, dobe, I don't."

"You know what I mean!"

Sasuke didn't answer him this time; instead, he simply glared.

"Damn it! Just get it over with! I'm sick of this whole thing; I just want to get it over with!" Naruto practically screamed in Sasuke's face, his frustration at the situation taking over, "just do it so I can go hom-"

Naruto was cut off suddenly as Sasuke slammed his fist against the wall beside the blonde's head, a murderous look on his face.

"S-Sasuke…" Naruto said uneasily, his frustration ebbing away at the look Sasuke was giving him.

"You really are an idiot," the dark-haired boy growled out before shoving away from the wall and stalking down the small road-not once looking back.

"What?" Naruto said to no one in particular as he watched Sasuke's retreating form disappear around the corner.

End Chapter