Well, a grand total of one person actually cares if I update
this story. And by golly,
I'm not gonna let him down! This one's for you, MeiDarkreign!
Well, you know the drill. I don't own Outlaw Star, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the NOW line of crappy CDs, or a triceratops. I wish I did though, because that would kick major ass. If you are not younger than 18, or it is illegal to view adult material in your area, then you're A-OK because this story is 100% kid friendly. Except for a couple things, but you kids don't care. Just get off my lawn.
------------
Well, it was a beautiful, sunshiny day deep in outer space. And our heroes, the Party Ship's crew, couldn't be happier. Well, actually I guess they could. I mean, when you consider the fact that they haven't had any food or water in days, you can naturally assume that they'd be fairly grouchy. But overall, they were in an upbeat and positive mood. Or not. You get the idea.
"Wow, how'd we get into this stupid predicament?" growled Jim, pacing back and forth before the crew.
"Hey, you were supposed to be our special planning-and-managing person. You should have planned things better." argued Aisha, clipping her nails, which had grown to be very long and freaky looking.
"No," replied Jim, "I planned this out perfectly. It's just that Suzuka was supposed to be our food-and-supplies person, and all she packed for us was 5 48 packs of booze. Plus, she single handedly drank it all anyway as soon as we cleared the atmosphere. To 'celebrate'."
"I was GONNA buy us some Cheez-its, but noooooo. You were all: 'We're on a budget. Just the booze will do. Oh, and the police are chasing us. We don't really have enough time to pick up last-minute provisions.' I thought that was pretty stupid, but I listened to you anyway. And NOW look where it's gotten us!" shouted Suzuka.
"Oh," said Gilliam, entering the conversation, "And we are completely out of fuel since Gene didn't correctly fasten the cap on the gas tanks before we blasted off."
"Oh come ON now! 'Counter-clockwise'? That could have meant anything!" defended Gene.
"It doesn't matter how we got into this mess," Melfina pointed out, "It matters how we get out of it."
"Very true," smirked Aisha, "I suggest we call Fred!"
"Jesus, is that your answer to everything?" asked Gene, "Just because you're a huge yaoi fan doesn't mean you have to call Fred over every little problem I have, in the desperate hope that we could...you know. It's not gonna happen."
"Oh come on," said Aisha, "Don't tell me the temptation isn't there."
"There is no temptation. There never will be." said Gene, doing his best to ignore Aisha. And failing at it.
"Yeah right, like there isn't a little voice in the back of your head that asks you: 'Should I? Shouldn't I?'" teased Aisha.
"Will you just know it off!?" shouted Gene, starting to lose his temper, "At least me and Jim don't make jokes about a possible blossoming relationship between you and Suzuka!"
"Hey! Just what the hell are you implying?!" yelled Suzuka.
"Gene, you're wrong," Jim chimed in, "We tell jokes about Aisha and Suzuka all the time. Those are the only jokes we know."
"Oh yeah." said Gene, then, "HAHA LOOKIT THE LESB-" about then Aisha started repeatedly kicking Gene in the face.
Just then, Melfina stopped the fighting by telling everyone: "I've established a connection to Fred. Now opening channel." Everyone stopped fighting and trying to eat each other just as Fred appeared on the screen. Some annoying piano music immediately began playing.
"Hello, did you guys need something? Oh, hello Gene! My, you're looking lovely today! And hello to the rest of you!" laughed Fred in his usual happy mood.
"Hello Fred," said Gilliam, "You're looking well. I must say that that color absolutley doesn't suit you at all. Perhaps adding some burgundy or light green to your wardrobe?"
"Ah yes, brilliant!" laughed Fred, "We're like 2/5ths of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team!" Everyone just kind of stared at him.
"Yeah, okay." said Gene uneasily, "We were wond...GODAMMIT I CAN'T CONCENTRATE! Just what the hell is that annoying crappy honky tonk music that always plays whenever we see you?!"
"Huh?" asked Fred, "Oh this? This is NOW 3967, the latest NOW album."
"Doesn't NOW only have stupid mainstream stuff like Backstreet Boys?" wondered Aisha.
Fred sighed. "Backstreet Boys just isn't lame and stupid anymore."
"Yeah it is." replied Gene.
"Not lame and stupid enough for NOW. Anyways, I'm assuming this is a business call?" Fred asked, rubbing his ear for no apparent reason.
"Um yes." said Gene, "We're kinda trapped in space with no food, liquid, or anything else that could possibly keep us alive for another five hours. Can you give us some gas so we can actually head to a planet of some kind before we die horribly?"
"Now Gene, you know better than anyone that I"m not the kind of guy to give out favors." said Fred, momentarily losing his happy tone, "How do I know you're going to pay me back?"
"I'll pay you when I make it big!" laughed Gene heartily.
"Well, that's enough for me! You'll have your gas in about 15 minutes!" said Fred, "Bye now." He winked and closed the channel.
"Wow, I wonder how much more I can use that lame excuse until people finally realize that I have no intention of ever paying them back?" wondered Gene.
"Excuse me," said Gilliam, "there are 4 large unidentified ships closing in on us."
"Pirates?!" yelled Gene with hatred in his heart and turmoil in his soul. Wait no...that's just his stomach growling. You get the idea though.
"No, it looks like the cops." said Suzuka, "I think they're still pretty pissed at us." It was truly a brilliant observation. Especially considering the cops were shooting at them and blaring over their radios that they were going to lock them up for 590 years. You now se how Suzuka became the most feared assassin in the galaxy. Through brilliant, life changing observations like this.
"Teehee," giggled Gene, "There's two asses in 'assassin'!" The cops then busted into the ship.
"Put your hands over your head!" yelled a cop as he put handcuffs on them.
"We can't." said Melfina calmly, "You just hancuffed our hands together."
"Whatever." said the cop, "Now march, ya little hoodlums!"
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Gene, "TRICERATOPS AMBUSH!"
The cop loked over his shoulder. "There aren't any triceratops here. Plus, you're hancuffed to me, so it's not like you could've escaped anyway. Nice try though."
"Damn! I really thought that would work!" muttered Gene. Then the cops led them all into their police ship and flew away.
TO BE CONTINUED
----------------
So how was it? I personally like this one more than the last chapter, but then again I'm insane. Anyways, please R&R! Please please please R&R. My best friend is Santa. Really. I'll put in a good word for you with the big guy if you R&R. It's guaranteed happiness for you. Unless you hate the joy of opening kickass presents on Christmas Day. Think about it.
Well, you know the drill. I don't own Outlaw Star, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the NOW line of crappy CDs, or a triceratops. I wish I did though, because that would kick major ass. If you are not younger than 18, or it is illegal to view adult material in your area, then you're A-OK because this story is 100% kid friendly. Except for a couple things, but you kids don't care. Just get off my lawn.
------------
Well, it was a beautiful, sunshiny day deep in outer space. And our heroes, the Party Ship's crew, couldn't be happier. Well, actually I guess they could. I mean, when you consider the fact that they haven't had any food or water in days, you can naturally assume that they'd be fairly grouchy. But overall, they were in an upbeat and positive mood. Or not. You get the idea.
"Wow, how'd we get into this stupid predicament?" growled Jim, pacing back and forth before the crew.
"Hey, you were supposed to be our special planning-and-managing person. You should have planned things better." argued Aisha, clipping her nails, which had grown to be very long and freaky looking.
"No," replied Jim, "I planned this out perfectly. It's just that Suzuka was supposed to be our food-and-supplies person, and all she packed for us was 5 48 packs of booze. Plus, she single handedly drank it all anyway as soon as we cleared the atmosphere. To 'celebrate'."
"I was GONNA buy us some Cheez-its, but noooooo. You were all: 'We're on a budget. Just the booze will do. Oh, and the police are chasing us. We don't really have enough time to pick up last-minute provisions.' I thought that was pretty stupid, but I listened to you anyway. And NOW look where it's gotten us!" shouted Suzuka.
"Oh," said Gilliam, entering the conversation, "And we are completely out of fuel since Gene didn't correctly fasten the cap on the gas tanks before we blasted off."
"Oh come ON now! 'Counter-clockwise'? That could have meant anything!" defended Gene.
"It doesn't matter how we got into this mess," Melfina pointed out, "It matters how we get out of it."
"Very true," smirked Aisha, "I suggest we call Fred!"
"Jesus, is that your answer to everything?" asked Gene, "Just because you're a huge yaoi fan doesn't mean you have to call Fred over every little problem I have, in the desperate hope that we could...you know. It's not gonna happen."
"Oh come on," said Aisha, "Don't tell me the temptation isn't there."
"There is no temptation. There never will be." said Gene, doing his best to ignore Aisha. And failing at it.
"Yeah right, like there isn't a little voice in the back of your head that asks you: 'Should I? Shouldn't I?'" teased Aisha.
"Will you just know it off!?" shouted Gene, starting to lose his temper, "At least me and Jim don't make jokes about a possible blossoming relationship between you and Suzuka!"
"Hey! Just what the hell are you implying?!" yelled Suzuka.
"Gene, you're wrong," Jim chimed in, "We tell jokes about Aisha and Suzuka all the time. Those are the only jokes we know."
"Oh yeah." said Gene, then, "HAHA LOOKIT THE LESB-" about then Aisha started repeatedly kicking Gene in the face.
Just then, Melfina stopped the fighting by telling everyone: "I've established a connection to Fred. Now opening channel." Everyone stopped fighting and trying to eat each other just as Fred appeared on the screen. Some annoying piano music immediately began playing.
"Hello, did you guys need something? Oh, hello Gene! My, you're looking lovely today! And hello to the rest of you!" laughed Fred in his usual happy mood.
"Hello Fred," said Gilliam, "You're looking well. I must say that that color absolutley doesn't suit you at all. Perhaps adding some burgundy or light green to your wardrobe?"
"Ah yes, brilliant!" laughed Fred, "We're like 2/5ths of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team!" Everyone just kind of stared at him.
"Yeah, okay." said Gene uneasily, "We were wond...GODAMMIT I CAN'T CONCENTRATE! Just what the hell is that annoying crappy honky tonk music that always plays whenever we see you?!"
"Huh?" asked Fred, "Oh this? This is NOW 3967, the latest NOW album."
"Doesn't NOW only have stupid mainstream stuff like Backstreet Boys?" wondered Aisha.
Fred sighed. "Backstreet Boys just isn't lame and stupid anymore."
"Yeah it is." replied Gene.
"Not lame and stupid enough for NOW. Anyways, I'm assuming this is a business call?" Fred asked, rubbing his ear for no apparent reason.
"Um yes." said Gene, "We're kinda trapped in space with no food, liquid, or anything else that could possibly keep us alive for another five hours. Can you give us some gas so we can actually head to a planet of some kind before we die horribly?"
"Now Gene, you know better than anyone that I"m not the kind of guy to give out favors." said Fred, momentarily losing his happy tone, "How do I know you're going to pay me back?"
"I'll pay you when I make it big!" laughed Gene heartily.
"Well, that's enough for me! You'll have your gas in about 15 minutes!" said Fred, "Bye now." He winked and closed the channel.
"Wow, I wonder how much more I can use that lame excuse until people finally realize that I have no intention of ever paying them back?" wondered Gene.
"Excuse me," said Gilliam, "there are 4 large unidentified ships closing in on us."
"Pirates?!" yelled Gene with hatred in his heart and turmoil in his soul. Wait no...that's just his stomach growling. You get the idea though.
"No, it looks like the cops." said Suzuka, "I think they're still pretty pissed at us." It was truly a brilliant observation. Especially considering the cops were shooting at them and blaring over their radios that they were going to lock them up for 590 years. You now se how Suzuka became the most feared assassin in the galaxy. Through brilliant, life changing observations like this.
"Teehee," giggled Gene, "There's two asses in 'assassin'!" The cops then busted into the ship.
"Put your hands over your head!" yelled a cop as he put handcuffs on them.
"We can't." said Melfina calmly, "You just hancuffed our hands together."
"Whatever." said the cop, "Now march, ya little hoodlums!"
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Gene, "TRICERATOPS AMBUSH!"
The cop loked over his shoulder. "There aren't any triceratops here. Plus, you're hancuffed to me, so it's not like you could've escaped anyway. Nice try though."
"Damn! I really thought that would work!" muttered Gene. Then the cops led them all into their police ship and flew away.
TO BE CONTINUED
----------------
So how was it? I personally like this one more than the last chapter, but then again I'm insane. Anyways, please R&R! Please please please R&R. My best friend is Santa. Really. I'll put in a good word for you with the big guy if you R&R. It's guaranteed happiness for you. Unless you hate the joy of opening kickass presents on Christmas Day. Think about it.