Hey there lads and lasses, and welcome to a brand new chapter
of The Party Ship! We've got a great episode for you today,
and-
Jet: God, that was terrible.
What? You think you can do better, Mr. Narrarator-man?
Jet: Yes, I could do a whole lot better. For starters, you need a slogan.
I thought about that, but I can't think of any good ones.
Jet: How about 'The most partyin' story in the galaxy'?
Hey, that's a good one! Let's use that! Anyways, this chapter is about Spring break and how awesome it is. Since this is a story called 'The Party Ship', it's about time some partying started going on. Also, for this chapter and onward, I took the advice of a certain reviewer person and made more space in between each paragraph! Cool huh? See, reviewing pays off! Tell your friends about our quality customer service! Anyways, I don't own Outlaw Star or anything else. On with the show.
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It was a gorgeous, mouth-wateringly beautiful day on planet Earth. Our heroes were walking around in a giant and expansive desert, looking for action and adventure! Woo! Also, they were looking for some form of civilization, but you can't really beat that action and adventure. No sir.
"Are we walking around in circles?" asked Jim, "That sand dune looks familiar."
"Actually, if my GPS is working right, we've been traveling in an elliptical oval." said Aisha, looking at her GPS. Everyone stared at her.
"You have a GPS?! Why the hell didn't you use it in the first place?!" yelled Gene. "You could have spared us the countless weeks wandering around in this stupid desert with no food or water! And that whole gila monster ordeal..." he shuddered. "I'll never be able to look at Dr. Phil the same way again." I don't quite know what this means, but you can bet it's pretty disturbing. Use your imagination!
"It's my secret weapon." said Aisha simply. She looked down at the little screen. "Anyways, it's just miles and miles of sand in every direction. I doubt this planet is even inhabited anymore."
"This is going to sound dumb," said Melfina, "But why didn't we scan the planet's surface for a better landing site before we landed? Also, why did we just leave the ship with no way of finding our way back? And why on earth didn't Gillia-" Then I tried to hit Melfina with a fish for pointing out plot holes. That didn't work, since Aisha was really hungry and ate the fish before I could do anything with it. Great. Just great.
"What's wrong with that guy who pops up and hits us with fish when we point out plot holes?" muttered Suzuka, "Like it's our fault he's such an inconsistent writer." The others all agreed.
"Wait," said Aisha, "According to my digital watch that doubles as a compass/cell phone, today's the official beginning of SPRING! And you know what that means!"
"Holy crap!" shouted Gene, slapping his forehead, "Spring break! I totally forgot about it!"
"Yay! Yay!" yelled Suzuka happily, "Spring break! Spring break! Where are we going this year?"
"Suzuka, if you'd stop being out of character for a moment and looked around you, you'd notice that we're in the middle of a gargantuan desert." said Jim sarcastically, "I seriously doubt we're going anywhere this year."
Melfina smiled. "Not necessarily." she said, "I think the perfect place for a spring break this year...would be none other than planet Earth." Everyone stared at her profoundly for a few moments.
"What are you, NUTS?!" yelled Aisha. "We don't have any pizza!"
"There's no ocean nearby!" yelled Jim, "Or any sign of civilization!"
"No water means no wet t-shirt competition!" shouted Gene.
"And most importantly, no booze!" yelled Suzuka.
"Alright alright, it was just a suggestion." mumbled Melfina.
........
"So we're setting our course for Earth?" asked Harry, sitting down in his navigation-person-seat-thing.
"Yep." said Ron, taking a seat in his main-pilot-seat-thing. "That's where the Party Ship is headed. Plus, I hear it's a great vacation spot!"
"Yay! Vacation vacation! Do I get to build a sand castle?" giggled Harry.
"Sure do! According to this brochure I found, there's everlasting beaches and beautiful, blue water!" Ron said, getting a twinkle in his eye. "Exciting and intelligent nightlife, open bars, casinos, hobos who impersonate Michael Jackson, it's all there!"
"Wait a second," said Harry. "Why are we even going on this vacation anyway?"
"Duh Harry, it's spring break! The most wonderful time of the year!" laughed Ron. The lights went dim, and the MacDougalls stood up. They picked up microphones, and burst into song.
[MACDOUGALL BROTHERS SING-A-LONG]
Ron: It's the most wonderul tiiiiiiime of the year!
Harry: Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ron: All the drunk guys are yelling and everyone's smelling of weekend-old beeeeeer!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeear!
Ron: There's drinks a-toasting and 18-year olds boasting of how much they can drink!
Harry: Can't feel your legs! Buy a dozen kegs but it's gone in a blink!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiime of the year!
Ron: Irresponsibility growing and STDs flowing, but never to feeeeeeaaaarrr!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiiiiiime! It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiiiiiime! IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIIIIIIIIIIIME OF THE YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAR!
Then Ron and Harry quietly resumed their seats and continued flying to Earth.
.........
The Geomancer was quieter than usual. The Anten Seven were all in the living room watching Golden Girls reruns while Hazanko was in the middle of an important phone call with 108 Pizza, the 108 Suns' resident pizza place.
"Alright! It's on!" laughed Leilong. The familiar theme song started up.
"Thank you for being a frieeeeend!" sang Tobeigera, "Went down the road and back agaiiiin!"
"Shut up, you clown-faced, freakishly retarded homo." said Hitoriga grumpily. Tobeigera ran from the room crying. "Why do we have to watch this stupid show? It's so dumb."
"Hey, don't be dissing Golden Girls!" said Leilong angrily. "This show kicks ass."
"Yeah! Don't you recognize platinum-quality awesomeness when you see it?" asked Jukei.
"This isn't platinum-quality awesomeness!" shouted Hitoriga, pointing at the TV, "It's a bunch of old ladies buying oranges at the supermarket!"
"I think that's very awesome." said Lady Iraga.
"That's because you're like 80 years old." said Hitoriga. "You watch this show to get reminded of your youthful days." Iraga ran from the room crying.
"Hey, don't you think that was a little mean?" asked Hamushi sweetly.
"Shut up, you eyeless bimbo wench!" shouted Hitoriga. Hamushi ran from the room crying.
"Stop making everybody cry! You big meanie!" yelled Hanmyo, kicking Hitoriga in the shins.
"Get away from me, you self-centered, cat-obsessed, dog-faced freak!" yelled Hitoriga. Hanmyo ran from the room crying.
"Dude, it's no wonder Suzuka won't even look your way!" yelled Jukei.
"What do you mean?" asked Hitoriga.
"Well, you are what most women would call an 'evil, monstrous prick'. You are probably the biggest jerk I've ever seen. You need to work on your feminine side of get anger management or something." said Leilong.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION YOU CANCEROUS PIZZA-FACED MUTANT!" yelled Hitoriga at the top of his lungs.
"But...I'm not cancerous, pizza-faced, or a mutant." said Leilong. "I'm just a regular guy."
Hazanko entered the room. "Hey there guys. I've got big news for you." He looked around. "Where the hell is everybody?"
"Hitoriga scared them all away." said Jukei.
"Ah well, they probably would have gotten bored anyway." shrugged Hazanko. "Anyways, I have just obtained some big information that Gene Starwind and the Party Ship are currently on the planet Earth."
"Earth...Earth..." Leilong said, stroking his chin. "Isn't that the planet where the Great Metalhead War of 1000 Years originated? The metalhead civil war over what was 'real metal' and what wasn't?"
"Yep, that's the one." said Hazanko. "They finally ended up signing a peace treaty, but the bad blood between them continued for millenniums afterward."
"Wow, what a pointless and stupid thing to start a war over." said Hitoriga. "Who the hell cares if some delusional 14 year old thinks Drowning Pool is metal?"
"Ask Jukei. He was the one who started the whole war." said Hazanko simply.
"Yep, it's true. I posted the very first flame on a Marilyn Manson message board. I sparked countless debates, and ended up taking countless lives through my leading of the masses. It was brilliant." laughed Jukei evilly.
"Shut up and pay attention you guys. This is important." said Hazanko. "Gene Starwind is trapped helpless and lost on Earth with no food or water. If we strike him in this weakened state, we can surely take him down! I'm coming with Tobeigera and Hanmyo down to the surface, Hamushi and Iraga are going to a tupperware party, and you three will watch the ship."
"No problem. I get dibs on the remote!" laughed Leilong.
"Now remember, no exploding eggs in the microwave. Also, I left the poison control number on the fridge in case Hitoriga feels like cooking dinner cooks. Plus, there's some oil paints in the closet...Just in case, you know, you need some oil paints for some reason." shrugged Hazanko. "Am I forgetting anything?"
"Yes. No girls after midnight, your karaoke player is completely off limits..." said Hitoriga, counting off on his fingers, "If we order Chinese we have to eat it all 'cause otherwise it stinks up the fridge, no getting tattoos, if we go on an insane murdering spree we HAVE to remember to lock up the ship before we leave, no ordering pay-per-view, and above all, NO PARTIES."
Jukei groaned. "This sucks. We can't do ANYTHING! at least let us have a party! It's spring break for crying out loud!"
"Nuh-uh." said Hazanko, waving his finger. "Last time you guys had a party you completely trashed the place. The carpet was soiled! The bookshelves disheveled! The turtle...dead!"
"We gave Tippy a very nice funeral." said Leilong indignantly.
"Well, you shouldn't have been using him to test out your metal detector in the first place." said Hazanko, crossing his arms.
"He's still out there somewhere in the sands of Hekaton Keirez." said Hitoriga. "All we have to do is go dig him up."
"Well, I'm gonna warp down to the surface now. Be back in a couple days." said Hazanko, teleporting himself, Tobeigera (in the middle of inflating his escape raft) and Hanmyo down to Earth. He can teleport, right? I dunno, I'm making assumptions. I haven't seen Outlaw Star in a while. I'm sorry. I'm currently watching Irresponsible Captain Tylor. Have you seen that show? It's about this guy who...Oh wait, I'm getting off topic. All you really need to know about it is that it has Jason in it, anyways. Back to the story.
.............
Dave the Sunglasses Guy waited patiently at his sunglasses stand for a customer. He hadn't seen one in a while, considering Earth is a deserted planet and all. But he still made quite a fair amount of income. Just how did he accomplish this? Well, it basically involved him circulating postcards displaying Earth as a beautiful, gorgeous, life-filled planet. This caused many a tourist to come to planet Earth, only to have their spaceships break down and be stranded there. And in the Earth's ungodly desertlike heat, what's one to do but buy some sunglasses? And so they bought sunglasses. They bought sunglasses like there was no tomorrow. And there usually wasn't a tomorrow since they all died of dehydration very quickly. Dave made an evil little chuckle, then stood at attention, because behold: customers were approaching!
"Five pairs of sunglasses please." said Gene, standing before Dave.
"Sure man, coming right up." said Dave, handing 5 pairs of sunglasses to Gene. He looked at Melfina. "Whoa! Schwing!" Then at Suzuka and Aisha. "Double, no, TRIPLE schwing!"
"You horrible lecherous pervert!" yelled Suzuka, totally sworderizing Dave.
"Holy cow! He's dead!" yelled Jim. He looked up at Suzuka. "We were SUPPOSED to ask him for directions!"
"He schwinged us." said Aisha, "He deserved it."
SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 HOURS LATER
"Hey, wake up." said Hazanko, kicking the corpse of Dave the Sunglasses Guy. "Have you seen a red haired guy, a little kid, and three chicks come passing through here?" He waited a few minutes for a response.
"I think he's dead, Mr. Hazanko." said Hanmyo. She gave him a few kicks to the head, then a few to the groin. "Yeah. See, that probably would have woken him up."
"Yep, he's definitely dead." said Tobeigera, nodding his head.
"You're sure?" asked Hazanko.
"Why, I'm DEAD sure!" laughed Tobeigera. Then he burst out laughing. Some more.
"Well, I'm gonna bring him back so we can ask him for directions." said Hazanko. Then he used his almighty Tao powers that I'm almost 40 percent sure he actually has to bring Dave back to life.
"Whoa. Dude, what happened?" moaned Dave. He sat up and looked around. He spotted Hanmyo. "Whoa! Schwing!"
Everyone stared at him. "Schwing? Dude, she's like 8 years old." said Hazanko, disgusted.
"Wow, really? She looks so mature..." he said, uncertain. Hanmyo giggled.
"You'll have to trust me on this one." said Hazanko. "So, have you seen a red haired guy come past here?"
Dave thought. "Red haired guy...red haired guy...Hm..."
"With a little kid?" Hazanko offered. "Kinda dumb?"
"Little kid...wow. Little kid." Dave pondered, "Not ringing any bells..."
"With three girls...." Hazanko continued.
"Oh yeah! Those guys!" exclaimed Dave, snapping his fingers. "Man, those girls were outta this world! They were all over me! And I was all: 'One at a time ladies, one at a time!'"
"Uh huh." said Hazanko. "That's great. Did you happen to see where they went?"
"And then the catgirl person was all: 'Oh Dave, you're so manly!'" Dave continued. "I practically had to fight her off me!"
"Yeah, I believe you. Really I do." said Hazanko, losing his patience. "Now did you see where they went or not?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, they were headed East." said Dave, pointing east. "Anyways, then the sword chick was all: 'Back off you dumb animal! He's mine!' And then they were like totally fighting over me! I was like: 'Ladies, ladies, let's try and be civil! THere's enough DAVE to go around!'" Hazanko, Tobeigera and Hanmyo continued East, disgusted.
SOMEWHERE AROUND 5 HOURS LATER. OH WAIT, MY TIME ZONES ARE MESSED UP. IT WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER.
"Hi there! You guys looking to buy some sunglasses?" called Dave.
"Nah, that's okay." said Ron MacDougall. "Actually, we were looking for a guy with red hair that came past here..."
Dave looked over at Harry. "Whoa! SCHW- Oh wait, you're a guy." said Dave. "Never mind."
"Of course he's a guy." said Ron, slightly irked.
"Well, he doesn't look that much like a guy." said Dave skeptically.
Harry sniffled. "Ron... am I a..GIRLY-BOY?" he began bawling.
Ron comforted Harry. "No! You're not a girly-boy! You're just special!" Then, to Dave: "We had to change his school because all the kids made fun of him at his old one. All the kids made fun of him. Called him a faggot." Ron sighed.
"Wow." said Dave, "That's terrible. Anything I can do to help?"
"Sure. Have you seen a red-haired guy come through here?" asked Ron.
"Uh...Hm..." Dave thought. He had always had extreme short-term memory problems. "Red-haired guy...red-haired guy..." He immediately thought of Tobeigera. "Hey yeah! There was this clowny piratey guy who came by! He had red hair!"
"Pirates?!" shouted Ron. "The pirates are here for the Party ship too?"
"Seems that way! Let's see..they headed East! Yep, East!" smiled Dave. "So howsabout buying some sunglasses for all the help I gave you?" but Ron and Harry were already gone.
............
"So where's the beer?" wondered Leilong. "I'm itchin' to get this spring break started!"
"Uh...Hazanko said we weren't allowed to drink..." said Jukei, uncertain.
"No, he said we couldn't have a PARTY." said Hitoriga. "You can drink when you aren't having a party. Like if you're sad and are trying to forget your problems."
"Alright, quick. Everyone think of something they're sad about, then we'll have a good excuse." said Leilong.
"I'm sad because Suzuka won't even look my way." said Hitoriga sadly.
"I'm sad because I'm trapped in this stupid straitjacket and have no real use of my arms and legs." said Jukei sadly.
"I'm sad because the only alcoholic beverage on this ship is Bud Light." said Leilong sadly.
"WHAT?!" yelled the other two.
"Well, so much for that plan." said Hitoriga. He snapped his fingers. "Hey, why don't we put weird things in the microwave and see what happens?"
"Yeah!" laughed Leilong. "So long as we don't use any eggs, we'll be okay! Man, there are some easy loopholes in Hazanko's rules."
And so they set about gathering odd things for the microwave. Soon, they had amassed a small collection of weird junk. It included: a large pile of forks, some leftover M-80s from the 4th of July, one of Hamushi's bras, and a giant bag of marshmallows.
"This is gonna be awesome!" laughed Jukei. "Let's do the bra first!" Leilong picked up the bra and popped it in the microwave and set it at the highest temperature. They leaned over and peered in the small window in the front of the microwave excitedly.
"What's it doing?" wondered Hitoriga. The bra in question was thrashing around inside the microwave.
"I think that's the wire inside it reacting with the radioactivity." said Jukei. "I bet if you touched that thing right now it would incinerate your entire hand!" he laughed evilly. He stopped laughing quickly because the microwave exploded and lit him on fire.
"AAAGH! AAAAA!" he yelled, spasming around on the ground in 3rd-degree pain.
"Remembering stop drop and roll! Good job, Jukei!" laughed Leilong. Hitoriga grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed all over Jukei until he was put out.
"You okay, dude?" asked Hitoriga. "You look awfully burned from head to toe."
"Nah, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." said Jukei. Somehow when he stood up he was all better. "In anime, clever camera changes are always the best medicine."
"Good to know." said Hitoriga. "But now what? Our microwave is destroyed!"
"We've got a bunch more around here somewhere..." said Leilong. He reached into a cabinet below the sink and pulled out a new microwave. "Yeah, here we go." He plugged it in. "So which one do we do next?"
15 MINUTES LATER
"AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!" screamed Jukei.
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHH!" screamed Hitoriga.
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Leilong. The Geomancer was currently spiraling out of control through space. They had blown a hole in the hull through their brilliant plan of soaking the microwave thoroughly in water, then loading it up with forks, M-80s, and a turned-on flashlight. Yeah, it was a pretty dumb idea. But they were pretty dumb people, so it all really made sense.
"WE'RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!" shrieked Jukei.
........
"Man, this is boring." complained Hazanko. "You'd think mindlessly trudging through a desert would be more exciting than this."
"Hey, how about a joke to liven up the mood?" offered Tobeigera. "I can dish out the laughs for any occasion!"
"Yay! Tell us a joke, Uncle Tobeigera!" giggled Hanmyo.
"Alrighty then!" laughed Tobeigera. "Did you hear the one about the pirate movie with nudity in it?"
"No." said Hazanko. "That's probably a good thing, right?"
"It was rated AARRRRR!" laughed Tobeigera. "Ba dum tssh!"
"What the hell was that?" asked Hazanko.
"A starlit, shining pice of comedic genius!" said Tobeigera proudly.
"No, not your stupid joke." said Hazanko. "THAT!" He was pointing to a shooting star that looked peculiarly like the Geomancer.
"Hey, is that the Geomancer?" wondered Tobeigera.
"Nah, it couldn't be." said Hazanko. "We left the ship in the hands of Jukei, Hitoriga, and Leilong. What could possibly go wrong?" They looked at each other. "OH MY GOD!" yelled Hazanko and he and Tobeigera ran towards where the shooting Geomancer was landing, Hanmyo struggling to keep up.
........
"Can't...go...on...much...longer..." moaned Aisha, collapsing on the ground. Our five heroes- GOD DAMN MY STUPID COMPUTER THAT FREEZES UP AND DELETED ALL THE WORK I MADE ON THIS STUPID CHAPTER JUST WHEN I HAD IT COMPLETED! Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. Stupid computer. Anyways, our five heroes were resting behind a large sand dune, conserving energy so that they could move on when it was dark. Pretty clever huh? Suzuka thought of that one. "I...can't...hungry..." moaned Aisha, rolling onto her side.
"It doesn't look good Gene!" called Jim. "She's moved up from slurred speech to sentence fragments! If this keeps going we could have incoherent babbling by nightfall!"
Gene was frustrated. He had no idea what to do about their current situation, or why everyone thought he knew. Seriously you guys, Gene's a dimwit. "Uh, take off all her clothes." said Gene, unsure. "That's probably what's making her so hot."
"But Gene, wouldn't taking off all her clothes just make her more exposed to this desert's fierce elements and the sun's horrible ultraviolet rays?" wondered Jim skeptically. "Isn't that what we're trying to get rid of?"
"YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO TO SAVE THIS WOMAN'S LIFE!" yelled Gene. "NOW STRIP HER DOWN!"
"Yes sir." said Jim timidly.
"That does it." said Suzuka. "Gene, you're not the leader any more."
"What? Why not?" asked Gene.
"Well, so far all you've done as our leader is make us take all our clothes off." shrugged Suzuka. "We're going nowhere. I suggest we dig little foxholes in the ground to sit in. We'll conserve more energy, it'll be cooler down there, and we may even find water."
"Oh SURE Suzuka, that's a GREAT plan." said gene sarcastically. "What happens when it rains, huh? We'd DROWN, that's what! Besides, I'd think you'd be ALL FOR getting Aisha naked." he laughed.
"GOD DAMMIT, YOU STUPID PERVERT!" yelled Suzuka. She hit him with one of her secret sword techniques and he flew away. She watched as he flew on and on, and landed in a lake. Wait, a lake? What? She gasped. "Oh my god, you guys! An oasis!" she yelled happily.
And quite an oasis it was. Beautiful running water, sandy beaches, fish to eat, thick jungles... it had everything. It was now night time, everyone had eaten and drank their fill, and were off doing stuff. Aisha was still recovering, since she still didn't regain full use of her legs yet. Jim was out catching fish, and Suzuka was in the rainforest seraching for a sloth to keep as a pet. Yeah. Melfina and Gene were alone together on the beach.
"Wow, it's so beautiful..." said Melfina, looking up at the stars.
"It sure is." said Gene. He pointed to one of the stars. "That's the Sentinel system. My home."
Melfina searched the sky. "I don't know where my home is. Maybe I never will." Tears began welling up in her eyes.
"Now now..." said Gene comfortingly, putting his arm around her. "You may not have a home star, but everyone has a star of their very own. Their own speical star that defines who they are."
"Really?" asked Melfina, her eyes widening.
"Oh yes," said Gene. He briefly scanned the sky, then pointed at a star. "There. That one there's yours."
She followed his gaze. "Oh, it's so beautiful!" she said, surprised. "But...how do you know it's mine?"
"It's the brightest one, isn't it?" asked Gene. "It's suits you perfectly."
"Now that you metnion it, it is very bright." she laughed. "Where's your special star?"
"Mine's the same one." smiled Gene. "When two people are made for each other, they have to share one. Makes everything easier for God, or whoever." He tilted his head to the side. "Oh wait, that star's not ours. It looks like it's part of Orion's Belt. Oh well, it's a nice thought." Way to spoil the mood, you retard Gene.
Suzuka returned from the jungle. "Damn! you'd think there'd be more sloths in a place like this!" she grumbled.
Jim also returned from fishing. "Here you all go, fish all around!" he laughed. "Yum yum!"
Aisha yawned and walked over. "What about the fish now?"
"Look! Fish!" said Jim, holding up the fish proudly.
"FISH! FISH! FISH!" yelled Aisha, eating the fish.
Jim sighed. "That was SUPPOSED to feed us ALL." Jim sighed. "Oh well, I can always catch more."
Aisha groaned. "This is the dumbest spring break ever."
"You might say that, but this sure seems like fun to me." smiled Melfina. "Here we are, in this beautiful tropical getaway with no tourists, and all you guys can do is complain about it. Long days of sunbathing on the beach, maybe building a volleyball net, going swimming, eating delicious fried fish, and watching the sunset every night before falling asleep under the serene, starlit sky... I can't think of a better way to have a good time!"
Gene laughed. "You know, Melfina's right. I've learned something today. Spring break isn't about the beer, the expensive vacations, the nonstop partying, the wet t-shirt contests..."
"The waking up one morning and wondering where your clothes are and who that weird fat guy is you're sharing a bed with..." Suzuka said dreamily. "What?"
"No," said Gene, putting an arm around Melfina. "spring break is about getting together with your good friends and having a hell of a good time!" Everyone looked at him with honor for his profound speech.
Aisha coughed. "Although technically, we could have a wet t-shirt contest. We do have water, girls and everything usually required for that sort of thing." she said.
Gene's face lit up. "By god, she's right! Jim fetch some water! Let's get this party started!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Suzuka happily.
------------------
So that's that. This chapter took forever to write. It's all because of my stupid foolish brain and my stupid foolish computer. I forgive him though. Anyways, stop by next time for a hearty romp through the Outlaw Star universe, starring everyone's favorite people thing persons!
Jet: What the HELL happened to the MacDougalls?
MacDougalls? What MacDougalls?
Jet: The only MacDougalls! The ones you forgot about!
Oh. Uh, they went to Vegas. Yeah, Vegas. THey got bored of hanging out on Earth with Dave the Sunglasses Guy and took off.
Jet: But isn't Vegas ON Earth?
No. Yes. Shut up.
Jet: God, that was terrible.
What? You think you can do better, Mr. Narrarator-man?
Jet: Yes, I could do a whole lot better. For starters, you need a slogan.
I thought about that, but I can't think of any good ones.
Jet: How about 'The most partyin' story in the galaxy'?
Hey, that's a good one! Let's use that! Anyways, this chapter is about Spring break and how awesome it is. Since this is a story called 'The Party Ship', it's about time some partying started going on. Also, for this chapter and onward, I took the advice of a certain reviewer person and made more space in between each paragraph! Cool huh? See, reviewing pays off! Tell your friends about our quality customer service! Anyways, I don't own Outlaw Star or anything else. On with the show.
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It was a gorgeous, mouth-wateringly beautiful day on planet Earth. Our heroes were walking around in a giant and expansive desert, looking for action and adventure! Woo! Also, they were looking for some form of civilization, but you can't really beat that action and adventure. No sir.
"Are we walking around in circles?" asked Jim, "That sand dune looks familiar."
"Actually, if my GPS is working right, we've been traveling in an elliptical oval." said Aisha, looking at her GPS. Everyone stared at her.
"You have a GPS?! Why the hell didn't you use it in the first place?!" yelled Gene. "You could have spared us the countless weeks wandering around in this stupid desert with no food or water! And that whole gila monster ordeal..." he shuddered. "I'll never be able to look at Dr. Phil the same way again." I don't quite know what this means, but you can bet it's pretty disturbing. Use your imagination!
"It's my secret weapon." said Aisha simply. She looked down at the little screen. "Anyways, it's just miles and miles of sand in every direction. I doubt this planet is even inhabited anymore."
"This is going to sound dumb," said Melfina, "But why didn't we scan the planet's surface for a better landing site before we landed? Also, why did we just leave the ship with no way of finding our way back? And why on earth didn't Gillia-" Then I tried to hit Melfina with a fish for pointing out plot holes. That didn't work, since Aisha was really hungry and ate the fish before I could do anything with it. Great. Just great.
"What's wrong with that guy who pops up and hits us with fish when we point out plot holes?" muttered Suzuka, "Like it's our fault he's such an inconsistent writer." The others all agreed.
"Wait," said Aisha, "According to my digital watch that doubles as a compass/cell phone, today's the official beginning of SPRING! And you know what that means!"
"Holy crap!" shouted Gene, slapping his forehead, "Spring break! I totally forgot about it!"
"Yay! Yay!" yelled Suzuka happily, "Spring break! Spring break! Where are we going this year?"
"Suzuka, if you'd stop being out of character for a moment and looked around you, you'd notice that we're in the middle of a gargantuan desert." said Jim sarcastically, "I seriously doubt we're going anywhere this year."
Melfina smiled. "Not necessarily." she said, "I think the perfect place for a spring break this year...would be none other than planet Earth." Everyone stared at her profoundly for a few moments.
"What are you, NUTS?!" yelled Aisha. "We don't have any pizza!"
"There's no ocean nearby!" yelled Jim, "Or any sign of civilization!"
"No water means no wet t-shirt competition!" shouted Gene.
"And most importantly, no booze!" yelled Suzuka.
"Alright alright, it was just a suggestion." mumbled Melfina.
........
"So we're setting our course for Earth?" asked Harry, sitting down in his navigation-person-seat-thing.
"Yep." said Ron, taking a seat in his main-pilot-seat-thing. "That's where the Party Ship is headed. Plus, I hear it's a great vacation spot!"
"Yay! Vacation vacation! Do I get to build a sand castle?" giggled Harry.
"Sure do! According to this brochure I found, there's everlasting beaches and beautiful, blue water!" Ron said, getting a twinkle in his eye. "Exciting and intelligent nightlife, open bars, casinos, hobos who impersonate Michael Jackson, it's all there!"
"Wait a second," said Harry. "Why are we even going on this vacation anyway?"
"Duh Harry, it's spring break! The most wonderful time of the year!" laughed Ron. The lights went dim, and the MacDougalls stood up. They picked up microphones, and burst into song.
[MACDOUGALL BROTHERS SING-A-LONG]
Ron: It's the most wonderul tiiiiiiime of the year!
Harry: Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ron: All the drunk guys are yelling and everyone's smelling of weekend-old beeeeeer!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeear!
Ron: There's drinks a-toasting and 18-year olds boasting of how much they can drink!
Harry: Can't feel your legs! Buy a dozen kegs but it's gone in a blink!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiime of the year!
Ron: Irresponsibility growing and STDs flowing, but never to feeeeeeaaaarrr!
Both: It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiiiiiime! It's the most wonderful tiiiiiiiiiiime! IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIIIIIIIIIIIME OF THE YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAR!
Then Ron and Harry quietly resumed their seats and continued flying to Earth.
.........
The Geomancer was quieter than usual. The Anten Seven were all in the living room watching Golden Girls reruns while Hazanko was in the middle of an important phone call with 108 Pizza, the 108 Suns' resident pizza place.
"Alright! It's on!" laughed Leilong. The familiar theme song started up.
"Thank you for being a frieeeeend!" sang Tobeigera, "Went down the road and back agaiiiin!"
"Shut up, you clown-faced, freakishly retarded homo." said Hitoriga grumpily. Tobeigera ran from the room crying. "Why do we have to watch this stupid show? It's so dumb."
"Hey, don't be dissing Golden Girls!" said Leilong angrily. "This show kicks ass."
"Yeah! Don't you recognize platinum-quality awesomeness when you see it?" asked Jukei.
"This isn't platinum-quality awesomeness!" shouted Hitoriga, pointing at the TV, "It's a bunch of old ladies buying oranges at the supermarket!"
"I think that's very awesome." said Lady Iraga.
"That's because you're like 80 years old." said Hitoriga. "You watch this show to get reminded of your youthful days." Iraga ran from the room crying.
"Hey, don't you think that was a little mean?" asked Hamushi sweetly.
"Shut up, you eyeless bimbo wench!" shouted Hitoriga. Hamushi ran from the room crying.
"Stop making everybody cry! You big meanie!" yelled Hanmyo, kicking Hitoriga in the shins.
"Get away from me, you self-centered, cat-obsessed, dog-faced freak!" yelled Hitoriga. Hanmyo ran from the room crying.
"Dude, it's no wonder Suzuka won't even look your way!" yelled Jukei.
"What do you mean?" asked Hitoriga.
"Well, you are what most women would call an 'evil, monstrous prick'. You are probably the biggest jerk I've ever seen. You need to work on your feminine side of get anger management or something." said Leilong.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION YOU CANCEROUS PIZZA-FACED MUTANT!" yelled Hitoriga at the top of his lungs.
"But...I'm not cancerous, pizza-faced, or a mutant." said Leilong. "I'm just a regular guy."
Hazanko entered the room. "Hey there guys. I've got big news for you." He looked around. "Where the hell is everybody?"
"Hitoriga scared them all away." said Jukei.
"Ah well, they probably would have gotten bored anyway." shrugged Hazanko. "Anyways, I have just obtained some big information that Gene Starwind and the Party Ship are currently on the planet Earth."
"Earth...Earth..." Leilong said, stroking his chin. "Isn't that the planet where the Great Metalhead War of 1000 Years originated? The metalhead civil war over what was 'real metal' and what wasn't?"
"Yep, that's the one." said Hazanko. "They finally ended up signing a peace treaty, but the bad blood between them continued for millenniums afterward."
"Wow, what a pointless and stupid thing to start a war over." said Hitoriga. "Who the hell cares if some delusional 14 year old thinks Drowning Pool is metal?"
"Ask Jukei. He was the one who started the whole war." said Hazanko simply.
"Yep, it's true. I posted the very first flame on a Marilyn Manson message board. I sparked countless debates, and ended up taking countless lives through my leading of the masses. It was brilliant." laughed Jukei evilly.
"Shut up and pay attention you guys. This is important." said Hazanko. "Gene Starwind is trapped helpless and lost on Earth with no food or water. If we strike him in this weakened state, we can surely take him down! I'm coming with Tobeigera and Hanmyo down to the surface, Hamushi and Iraga are going to a tupperware party, and you three will watch the ship."
"No problem. I get dibs on the remote!" laughed Leilong.
"Now remember, no exploding eggs in the microwave. Also, I left the poison control number on the fridge in case Hitoriga feels like cooking dinner cooks. Plus, there's some oil paints in the closet...Just in case, you know, you need some oil paints for some reason." shrugged Hazanko. "Am I forgetting anything?"
"Yes. No girls after midnight, your karaoke player is completely off limits..." said Hitoriga, counting off on his fingers, "If we order Chinese we have to eat it all 'cause otherwise it stinks up the fridge, no getting tattoos, if we go on an insane murdering spree we HAVE to remember to lock up the ship before we leave, no ordering pay-per-view, and above all, NO PARTIES."
Jukei groaned. "This sucks. We can't do ANYTHING! at least let us have a party! It's spring break for crying out loud!"
"Nuh-uh." said Hazanko, waving his finger. "Last time you guys had a party you completely trashed the place. The carpet was soiled! The bookshelves disheveled! The turtle...dead!"
"We gave Tippy a very nice funeral." said Leilong indignantly.
"Well, you shouldn't have been using him to test out your metal detector in the first place." said Hazanko, crossing his arms.
"He's still out there somewhere in the sands of Hekaton Keirez." said Hitoriga. "All we have to do is go dig him up."
"Well, I'm gonna warp down to the surface now. Be back in a couple days." said Hazanko, teleporting himself, Tobeigera (in the middle of inflating his escape raft) and Hanmyo down to Earth. He can teleport, right? I dunno, I'm making assumptions. I haven't seen Outlaw Star in a while. I'm sorry. I'm currently watching Irresponsible Captain Tylor. Have you seen that show? It's about this guy who...Oh wait, I'm getting off topic. All you really need to know about it is that it has Jason in it, anyways. Back to the story.
.............
Dave the Sunglasses Guy waited patiently at his sunglasses stand for a customer. He hadn't seen one in a while, considering Earth is a deserted planet and all. But he still made quite a fair amount of income. Just how did he accomplish this? Well, it basically involved him circulating postcards displaying Earth as a beautiful, gorgeous, life-filled planet. This caused many a tourist to come to planet Earth, only to have their spaceships break down and be stranded there. And in the Earth's ungodly desertlike heat, what's one to do but buy some sunglasses? And so they bought sunglasses. They bought sunglasses like there was no tomorrow. And there usually wasn't a tomorrow since they all died of dehydration very quickly. Dave made an evil little chuckle, then stood at attention, because behold: customers were approaching!
"Five pairs of sunglasses please." said Gene, standing before Dave.
"Sure man, coming right up." said Dave, handing 5 pairs of sunglasses to Gene. He looked at Melfina. "Whoa! Schwing!" Then at Suzuka and Aisha. "Double, no, TRIPLE schwing!"
"You horrible lecherous pervert!" yelled Suzuka, totally sworderizing Dave.
"Holy cow! He's dead!" yelled Jim. He looked up at Suzuka. "We were SUPPOSED to ask him for directions!"
"He schwinged us." said Aisha, "He deserved it."
SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 HOURS LATER
"Hey, wake up." said Hazanko, kicking the corpse of Dave the Sunglasses Guy. "Have you seen a red haired guy, a little kid, and three chicks come passing through here?" He waited a few minutes for a response.
"I think he's dead, Mr. Hazanko." said Hanmyo. She gave him a few kicks to the head, then a few to the groin. "Yeah. See, that probably would have woken him up."
"Yep, he's definitely dead." said Tobeigera, nodding his head.
"You're sure?" asked Hazanko.
"Why, I'm DEAD sure!" laughed Tobeigera. Then he burst out laughing. Some more.
"Well, I'm gonna bring him back so we can ask him for directions." said Hazanko. Then he used his almighty Tao powers that I'm almost 40 percent sure he actually has to bring Dave back to life.
"Whoa. Dude, what happened?" moaned Dave. He sat up and looked around. He spotted Hanmyo. "Whoa! Schwing!"
Everyone stared at him. "Schwing? Dude, she's like 8 years old." said Hazanko, disgusted.
"Wow, really? She looks so mature..." he said, uncertain. Hanmyo giggled.
"You'll have to trust me on this one." said Hazanko. "So, have you seen a red haired guy come past here?"
Dave thought. "Red haired guy...red haired guy...Hm..."
"With a little kid?" Hazanko offered. "Kinda dumb?"
"Little kid...wow. Little kid." Dave pondered, "Not ringing any bells..."
"With three girls...." Hazanko continued.
"Oh yeah! Those guys!" exclaimed Dave, snapping his fingers. "Man, those girls were outta this world! They were all over me! And I was all: 'One at a time ladies, one at a time!'"
"Uh huh." said Hazanko. "That's great. Did you happen to see where they went?"
"And then the catgirl person was all: 'Oh Dave, you're so manly!'" Dave continued. "I practically had to fight her off me!"
"Yeah, I believe you. Really I do." said Hazanko, losing his patience. "Now did you see where they went or not?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, they were headed East." said Dave, pointing east. "Anyways, then the sword chick was all: 'Back off you dumb animal! He's mine!' And then they were like totally fighting over me! I was like: 'Ladies, ladies, let's try and be civil! THere's enough DAVE to go around!'" Hazanko, Tobeigera and Hanmyo continued East, disgusted.
SOMEWHERE AROUND 5 HOURS LATER. OH WAIT, MY TIME ZONES ARE MESSED UP. IT WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER.
"Hi there! You guys looking to buy some sunglasses?" called Dave.
"Nah, that's okay." said Ron MacDougall. "Actually, we were looking for a guy with red hair that came past here..."
Dave looked over at Harry. "Whoa! SCHW- Oh wait, you're a guy." said Dave. "Never mind."
"Of course he's a guy." said Ron, slightly irked.
"Well, he doesn't look that much like a guy." said Dave skeptically.
Harry sniffled. "Ron... am I a..GIRLY-BOY?" he began bawling.
Ron comforted Harry. "No! You're not a girly-boy! You're just special!" Then, to Dave: "We had to change his school because all the kids made fun of him at his old one. All the kids made fun of him. Called him a faggot." Ron sighed.
"Wow." said Dave, "That's terrible. Anything I can do to help?"
"Sure. Have you seen a red-haired guy come through here?" asked Ron.
"Uh...Hm..." Dave thought. He had always had extreme short-term memory problems. "Red-haired guy...red-haired guy..." He immediately thought of Tobeigera. "Hey yeah! There was this clowny piratey guy who came by! He had red hair!"
"Pirates?!" shouted Ron. "The pirates are here for the Party ship too?"
"Seems that way! Let's see..they headed East! Yep, East!" smiled Dave. "So howsabout buying some sunglasses for all the help I gave you?" but Ron and Harry were already gone.
............
"So where's the beer?" wondered Leilong. "I'm itchin' to get this spring break started!"
"Uh...Hazanko said we weren't allowed to drink..." said Jukei, uncertain.
"No, he said we couldn't have a PARTY." said Hitoriga. "You can drink when you aren't having a party. Like if you're sad and are trying to forget your problems."
"Alright, quick. Everyone think of something they're sad about, then we'll have a good excuse." said Leilong.
"I'm sad because Suzuka won't even look my way." said Hitoriga sadly.
"I'm sad because I'm trapped in this stupid straitjacket and have no real use of my arms and legs." said Jukei sadly.
"I'm sad because the only alcoholic beverage on this ship is Bud Light." said Leilong sadly.
"WHAT?!" yelled the other two.
"Well, so much for that plan." said Hitoriga. He snapped his fingers. "Hey, why don't we put weird things in the microwave and see what happens?"
"Yeah!" laughed Leilong. "So long as we don't use any eggs, we'll be okay! Man, there are some easy loopholes in Hazanko's rules."
And so they set about gathering odd things for the microwave. Soon, they had amassed a small collection of weird junk. It included: a large pile of forks, some leftover M-80s from the 4th of July, one of Hamushi's bras, and a giant bag of marshmallows.
"This is gonna be awesome!" laughed Jukei. "Let's do the bra first!" Leilong picked up the bra and popped it in the microwave and set it at the highest temperature. They leaned over and peered in the small window in the front of the microwave excitedly.
"What's it doing?" wondered Hitoriga. The bra in question was thrashing around inside the microwave.
"I think that's the wire inside it reacting with the radioactivity." said Jukei. "I bet if you touched that thing right now it would incinerate your entire hand!" he laughed evilly. He stopped laughing quickly because the microwave exploded and lit him on fire.
"AAAGH! AAAAA!" he yelled, spasming around on the ground in 3rd-degree pain.
"Remembering stop drop and roll! Good job, Jukei!" laughed Leilong. Hitoriga grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed all over Jukei until he was put out.
"You okay, dude?" asked Hitoriga. "You look awfully burned from head to toe."
"Nah, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." said Jukei. Somehow when he stood up he was all better. "In anime, clever camera changes are always the best medicine."
"Good to know." said Hitoriga. "But now what? Our microwave is destroyed!"
"We've got a bunch more around here somewhere..." said Leilong. He reached into a cabinet below the sink and pulled out a new microwave. "Yeah, here we go." He plugged it in. "So which one do we do next?"
15 MINUTES LATER
"AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!" screamed Jukei.
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHH!" screamed Hitoriga.
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Leilong. The Geomancer was currently spiraling out of control through space. They had blown a hole in the hull through their brilliant plan of soaking the microwave thoroughly in water, then loading it up with forks, M-80s, and a turned-on flashlight. Yeah, it was a pretty dumb idea. But they were pretty dumb people, so it all really made sense.
"WE'RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!" shrieked Jukei.
........
"Man, this is boring." complained Hazanko. "You'd think mindlessly trudging through a desert would be more exciting than this."
"Hey, how about a joke to liven up the mood?" offered Tobeigera. "I can dish out the laughs for any occasion!"
"Yay! Tell us a joke, Uncle Tobeigera!" giggled Hanmyo.
"Alrighty then!" laughed Tobeigera. "Did you hear the one about the pirate movie with nudity in it?"
"No." said Hazanko. "That's probably a good thing, right?"
"It was rated AARRRRR!" laughed Tobeigera. "Ba dum tssh!"
"What the hell was that?" asked Hazanko.
"A starlit, shining pice of comedic genius!" said Tobeigera proudly.
"No, not your stupid joke." said Hazanko. "THAT!" He was pointing to a shooting star that looked peculiarly like the Geomancer.
"Hey, is that the Geomancer?" wondered Tobeigera.
"Nah, it couldn't be." said Hazanko. "We left the ship in the hands of Jukei, Hitoriga, and Leilong. What could possibly go wrong?" They looked at each other. "OH MY GOD!" yelled Hazanko and he and Tobeigera ran towards where the shooting Geomancer was landing, Hanmyo struggling to keep up.
........
"Can't...go...on...much...longer..." moaned Aisha, collapsing on the ground. Our five heroes- GOD DAMN MY STUPID COMPUTER THAT FREEZES UP AND DELETED ALL THE WORK I MADE ON THIS STUPID CHAPTER JUST WHEN I HAD IT COMPLETED! Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. Stupid computer. Anyways, our five heroes were resting behind a large sand dune, conserving energy so that they could move on when it was dark. Pretty clever huh? Suzuka thought of that one. "I...can't...hungry..." moaned Aisha, rolling onto her side.
"It doesn't look good Gene!" called Jim. "She's moved up from slurred speech to sentence fragments! If this keeps going we could have incoherent babbling by nightfall!"
Gene was frustrated. He had no idea what to do about their current situation, or why everyone thought he knew. Seriously you guys, Gene's a dimwit. "Uh, take off all her clothes." said Gene, unsure. "That's probably what's making her so hot."
"But Gene, wouldn't taking off all her clothes just make her more exposed to this desert's fierce elements and the sun's horrible ultraviolet rays?" wondered Jim skeptically. "Isn't that what we're trying to get rid of?"
"YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO TO SAVE THIS WOMAN'S LIFE!" yelled Gene. "NOW STRIP HER DOWN!"
"Yes sir." said Jim timidly.
"That does it." said Suzuka. "Gene, you're not the leader any more."
"What? Why not?" asked Gene.
"Well, so far all you've done as our leader is make us take all our clothes off." shrugged Suzuka. "We're going nowhere. I suggest we dig little foxholes in the ground to sit in. We'll conserve more energy, it'll be cooler down there, and we may even find water."
"Oh SURE Suzuka, that's a GREAT plan." said gene sarcastically. "What happens when it rains, huh? We'd DROWN, that's what! Besides, I'd think you'd be ALL FOR getting Aisha naked." he laughed.
"GOD DAMMIT, YOU STUPID PERVERT!" yelled Suzuka. She hit him with one of her secret sword techniques and he flew away. She watched as he flew on and on, and landed in a lake. Wait, a lake? What? She gasped. "Oh my god, you guys! An oasis!" she yelled happily.
And quite an oasis it was. Beautiful running water, sandy beaches, fish to eat, thick jungles... it had everything. It was now night time, everyone had eaten and drank their fill, and were off doing stuff. Aisha was still recovering, since she still didn't regain full use of her legs yet. Jim was out catching fish, and Suzuka was in the rainforest seraching for a sloth to keep as a pet. Yeah. Melfina and Gene were alone together on the beach.
"Wow, it's so beautiful..." said Melfina, looking up at the stars.
"It sure is." said Gene. He pointed to one of the stars. "That's the Sentinel system. My home."
Melfina searched the sky. "I don't know where my home is. Maybe I never will." Tears began welling up in her eyes.
"Now now..." said Gene comfortingly, putting his arm around her. "You may not have a home star, but everyone has a star of their very own. Their own speical star that defines who they are."
"Really?" asked Melfina, her eyes widening.
"Oh yes," said Gene. He briefly scanned the sky, then pointed at a star. "There. That one there's yours."
She followed his gaze. "Oh, it's so beautiful!" she said, surprised. "But...how do you know it's mine?"
"It's the brightest one, isn't it?" asked Gene. "It's suits you perfectly."
"Now that you metnion it, it is very bright." she laughed. "Where's your special star?"
"Mine's the same one." smiled Gene. "When two people are made for each other, they have to share one. Makes everything easier for God, or whoever." He tilted his head to the side. "Oh wait, that star's not ours. It looks like it's part of Orion's Belt. Oh well, it's a nice thought." Way to spoil the mood, you retard Gene.
Suzuka returned from the jungle. "Damn! you'd think there'd be more sloths in a place like this!" she grumbled.
Jim also returned from fishing. "Here you all go, fish all around!" he laughed. "Yum yum!"
Aisha yawned and walked over. "What about the fish now?"
"Look! Fish!" said Jim, holding up the fish proudly.
"FISH! FISH! FISH!" yelled Aisha, eating the fish.
Jim sighed. "That was SUPPOSED to feed us ALL." Jim sighed. "Oh well, I can always catch more."
Aisha groaned. "This is the dumbest spring break ever."
"You might say that, but this sure seems like fun to me." smiled Melfina. "Here we are, in this beautiful tropical getaway with no tourists, and all you guys can do is complain about it. Long days of sunbathing on the beach, maybe building a volleyball net, going swimming, eating delicious fried fish, and watching the sunset every night before falling asleep under the serene, starlit sky... I can't think of a better way to have a good time!"
Gene laughed. "You know, Melfina's right. I've learned something today. Spring break isn't about the beer, the expensive vacations, the nonstop partying, the wet t-shirt contests..."
"The waking up one morning and wondering where your clothes are and who that weird fat guy is you're sharing a bed with..." Suzuka said dreamily. "What?"
"No," said Gene, putting an arm around Melfina. "spring break is about getting together with your good friends and having a hell of a good time!" Everyone looked at him with honor for his profound speech.
Aisha coughed. "Although technically, we could have a wet t-shirt contest. We do have water, girls and everything usually required for that sort of thing." she said.
Gene's face lit up. "By god, she's right! Jim fetch some water! Let's get this party started!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Suzuka happily.
------------------
So that's that. This chapter took forever to write. It's all because of my stupid foolish brain and my stupid foolish computer. I forgive him though. Anyways, stop by next time for a hearty romp through the Outlaw Star universe, starring everyone's favorite people thing persons!
Jet: What the HELL happened to the MacDougalls?
MacDougalls? What MacDougalls?
Jet: The only MacDougalls! The ones you forgot about!
Oh. Uh, they went to Vegas. Yeah, Vegas. THey got bored of hanging out on Earth with Dave the Sunglasses Guy and took off.
Jet: But isn't Vegas ON Earth?
No. Yes. Shut up.