Alright, hey there loyal people who all totally rock! It's
another great chapter for you today! First of all, I apologize for
last episode and it's overt
shoujo-ai romance! It was something I needed to do. This story would
never be truly complete for me if Aisha and Suzuka never did naughty
things with each other. I can guarantee this will never happen again.
I can also guarantee that Suzuka will never hear the end of it from
Gene. Although, that's kind of a given. Anyways, this chapter is some
more plot advancement. After this chapter everything will go back to
normal, and just be more stupid pointless comedy. I'm officially
ending the Missing Melfina arc. Radness!
Jet: You know, I told someone I met in a bar yesterday that I
knew someone who was pretty famous.
Ah, you mean me of course?
Jet: Yep. Of course, when she asked me who it was I was a
little ashamed to tell her. I begrudgingly told her anyways, and she
looked at me
with disgust and left the bar.
...Well what did you expect? Anyways, enjoy the chapter everyone.
"Suzuka! Aisha's in trouble! You'll have to warm her up with
your BODY HEAT!" yelled Gene frantically.
"What?! But she's not hypothermic! She has a bee sting!"
protested Suzuka.
"This is a dire emergency! If Aisha dies, and you survive,
will you honestly be able to live with yourself? Will your current
plan of NOT taking
off all your clothes and NOT hugging Aisha's hot nude body really
seem so good anymore?" asked Gene.
"Gene, shut up. Aisha's perfectly alright." said Jim.
"NO SHE ISN'T SHE'S DYING OF PAIN!" yelled Gene.
"Actually, she's kicking you repeatedly in the groin."
corrected Suzuka.
"Oh...yeah." sighed Gene.
"Stupid perverted Gene!" yelled Aisha, delivering a few more
solid kicks.
Suddenly the video phone thing started ringing. "I'LL GET IT
I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT!" yelled Aisha, finally done kicking and
running over to
the phone.
"NO I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT!" yelled Gene, tackling Aisha to
the ground.
While they were distracted, Suzuka ran over and picked up the
reciever. "PITFUL FOOLS! IT IS I, TWILIGHT SUZUKA, WHO GOT IT!" She
cleared her throat. "Hello?"
The face of Fred Luo appeared on the screen. "Oh, hello there
Suzuka! I saw you making out with Ms. ClanClan on TV yesterday, and
all I
can say is...WOW. It's great what you girls are doing to protest the
limited rights the homosexual crowd is forced to endure!"
"Now wait just a minute here, Fred!" said Suzuka.
"I trust with all my heart that you and Aisha will one day be
very happy together!" said Fred, stroking his earlobe. "But that's
not why I called.
I'd love to talk to you all day long, maybe schedule some marches,
but I actually have some business to discuss with Gene. Is he in?"
"Yes, but me and Aisha really aren't-" started Suzuka, but
Gene shoved her out of the way.
"What is it, Fred? How much does it pay?" asked Gene.
Fred laughed. "That's a good question, Mister Gener Lovsie
Muffskins."
"Mister Gener Lovsie Muffskins?" Gene wondered.
"That's right!" giggled Fred. "Anyways, the job I have
planned for you is pretty simple. All I want you to do is take care
of my little pet doggie for
a few days while I go on vacation!"
"Awesome! That sounds easy enough, how much does it pay?" asked Gene.
"$30,000 a day!" said Fred happily. "So what do you say?"
"We'll do it!" said Gene. "We'll stop by your place in a few
hours to pick the little guy up!"
"Sounds great!" said Fred. "See ya later Gene, you Puffy
Wuffy Borgenstern! And Suzuka and Aisha, don't forget my invitation
to your
wedding! Ciao!" The screen went blank.
"......Puffy Wuffy Borgenstern?" asked Gene.
"......Wedding?!" asked Suzuka and Aisha incredulously.
"......CIAO?!?!" yelled Jim, utterly confused.
It was a smashing, lip-smackingly flavorful day in the
MacDougall's secret base. Melfina was chained against a wall, and Ron
and Harry
were discussing what to do with her.
"I'm telling you, the red one is awesome! He could wipe out
the blue guy any day of the week!" yelled Harry.
"You don't know what you're saying." said Ron dismissively.
"There's no way the red guy could take on the blue guy and win!" Or
wait...Maybe they weren't discussing Melfina at all. Maybe they were
discussing Power Rangers. Whatever.
Ron sighed and glanced over at Melfina.
"What is it, Ron?" asked Harry. "Did ANOTHER middle school
girl take out a restraining order on you?"
"No, it's worse!" said Ron. "We have Melfina, but that
doesn't matter! We need the Party Ship!"
"Since when do we want the Party Ship?" asked Harry. "I
thought we just wanted revenge on Gene Starwind."
"Oh yeah." shrugged Ron. "That would have been a huge plot
mistake if we went ahead with that, I'm glad we caught it in time.
Yes, thank
you. That was all me." He coughed. "Lets hold her up for ransom!"
"Brilliant! Sheer brilliance!" remarked Harry. "I give this
plan 4 stars. One star had to be deducted for lack of originality."
"Um, okay." said Ron. "But anyway, shall we call Gene now and
give him a ransom video thing?"
"Shure." said Harry, rebelling against correct spelling
enthusiasts everywhere.
"Good, we're nearing Blue Heaven! We must catch Melfina and
the XGP if it's the last thing we do!" yelled Hazanko.
"Um, why?" asked Hitoriga. "We already used Melfina to get to
the Galactic Leyline, our plan failed and we all died, and now we're
all back to
life for some inexplicable reason with the Leyline in a totally
different and unknown part of the universe. What's there left to do
with her?"
"I'd smite you with my super powers, but you raise a good
point." sighed Hazanko. "I can only assume that Melfina will be able
to guide us to
the Leyline's new location, where I will be able to attain my
ultimate goal of MEGA POWERY!" He yelled those last couple of words
really loud
with his hands up in the air.
"Oh, well I guess that kind of makes sense." said Jukei
thoughtfully. "But what if we all die again? It happened the last
time."
"You'll have to trust me." said Hazanko simply. "I'm taking
extra special precautions to make sure none of you are injured."
"Uh, didn't you just kill the clowny-head guy for no reason
and in a horrible bloodlust once you got all your power?" asked
Leilong.
"Um, yeah." said Hazanko, scratching his neck. "About
that...you see, it was an accident. Yeah. I slipped."
"Hey, no need to make stuff up. I never said it was the wrong
thing to do." shrugged Leilong.
"...And here's the VCR I bought that makes my TV look more
expensive!" said Fred happily. "Isn't it neat?"
"Fred, as much as we loved that complete tour of your
house..." said Gene sarcastically. "We'd really like to just get the
puppy and get out of
here."
"Puppy?" wondered Fred. "Ah yes, puppy. Come on, I think he's
sleeping in the laundry room."
They followed Fred into his laundry room. They glanced
around, looking for signs of a puppy of some kind. Seeing none,
Suzuka decided
the most favorable decision in this situation would be to ask about
the puppy's whereabouts. "Where's this dog-thing you speak of?"
"Lets see...He should be dry by now!" said Fred happily,
walking over to the dryer and pulling a puppy out of it. "He looks
pretty good, still a
little moist..."
"I HATE THAT WORD." said Suzuka firmly. "Don't ask why, I
just hate it." But really, moist is such a horrible word. Just say it
out loud a few
times. Moist moist moist. Holy crap, that word is disgusting.
"Still a little DAMP..." said Fred, correcting himself.
"Maybe 5 more minutes." He tossed the puppy into the dryer and set
the timer again.
"Criminy! Are you insane?" asked Jim. "You can't put puppies
in the dryer!"
"How else was I going to dry him off from when I put him in
the dishwasher?" asked Fred grumpily.
"You put him in the dishwasher?!" said Aisha incredulously.
"Don't worry, I remembered the soap!" giggled Fred. "Now he's
all clean!"
"You know Fred, I'd really like to hear your reasoning for
putting a living creature into the agitator cycle." said Suzuka. "And
while we're at it,
lets hear about the creation of the universe and everyone's purpose
for existence."
"I'm glad you asked!" said Fred happily. "Everyone's purpose
for existence is really simple to understand. It's one of those
things where
after you hear the answer you're all like: 'Oh, DUH!' Anyways, all it
really is is-"
"Hang on Fred, hold that thought. I got a phone call." said
Gene, pulling out his cell phone. "Hello?"
The face of Ron MacDougall filled the cellphone's small
viewcreen thing. "Hello there, Gene Starwind! Muahahahaha!" he
laughed evilly.
"Oh, hey there Ron!" said Gene happily. "Are we still playing
bingo at your place tonight?"
"Um...no." coughed Ron. "I'm cancelling it."
"What?! Why!?" yelled Gene angrily.
"Oh, I'LL show you why!" said Ron maliciously, moving aside
so Gene could see Melfina tied up against the wall.
"Oh, so you've got company over?" asked Gene. "That's okay,
she can join in! It'll be fun!"
"No, you utterly bogus brain-lacker!" yelled Ron. Man, that's
one stinging insult. "We've got your navigator/girlfriend held for
ransom!"
"I'm still not seeing how that's any decent reason to cancel
bingo night." said Gene stubbornly.
Ron sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Alright alright, bingo
night isn't cancelled. Just come over here and pay off the ransom so
we can
close this stupid plan." He turned and yelled to someone offscreen.
"4 STARS INDEED! Consider yourself grounded, mister!"
The screen went blank. "Well I guess that's that." sighed
Gene, putting the cell phone back in his pocket. "We'd better go save
our navigator
girl. What was her name again?"
"We have a navigator girl?" wondered Jim.
"Wasn't her name Melinda or something?" asked Suzuka. "Melissa?"
"I thought it started with an K." said Aisha, scratching her head.
"Nevertheless, we must save her!" said Gene. "It is our duty,
and despite her revolting haircut she's actually kinda cute!"
"Wait, take puppy with you!" said Fred happily, pulling the
puppy out of the dryer and tossing him to Gene. "Puppy loves
adventures! Don't
you puppy? Remember our adventure with the trash compactor? What a
fun day that was!" The puppy whimpered.
"He's so cute!" said Aisha. "What's the little guy's name?"
"Name? Some people NAME their pets?" asked Fred. "Well, I
guess you can just call him Cleveland for now. Just don't let him
bite you, I've
been suspecting he has rabies for quite some time now." Cleveland
jumped at Aisha and bit her in the face.
"Agh!" yelled Aisha.
"Good dog!" said Gene happily. He turned with the rest of the
crew to walk out the door. "Well Fred, we'll see you later!"
"Bye Gene! And remember, if you see him flirting with any
girl dogs, give him a good kick! I want him to be raised RIGHT!" said
Fred,
sounding very determined.
[AND NOW, A COMMERCIAL!]
It was a day. No need to go any further into it. Suzuka was
standing in the middle of a field, looking tired.
"Man, what a rough day of killing highstanding political
figures for dirt pay this has been!" sighed Suzuka, wiping her
forehead with a towel.
Suddenly a plate full of buttered toast appeared next to her in a
puff of smoke. "Good thing I have buttered toast to cease my hunger!"
She
picked up one of the toasts (is that a word?) and was about to eat
it, when a voice rang out all around her.
"But wait Suzuka!" said the narrator. "Butter is high in
cholesterol! How do you expect to look and feel your best when eating
such fattening
foods?"
Suzuka laughed and turned all happy-like. "It's not real
butter, you horrible fool! It's something totally different!"
"Oh, so it's disgusting fake butter made out of soy and
stuff?" wondered the narrator, as the word SOY appeared in giant
letters above
Suzuka's head.
"No way!" said Suzuka enthusiastically, jumping up and
cutting the word in half. "I take my health one step further with...I
CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT SOY!" She yelled these last few words, and held up a little
plastic container with 'I Can't Believe It's Not Soy!' written on it.
"Oh, good choice Suzuka!" said the narrator happily. "Why
don't you tell our viewers at home all about it?"
"I'd be glad to!" said Suzuka enthusiastically. Her
background changed from a field to a screen with a bunch of germs or
something zoomed
in on it. He sword magically turned into a pointer stick thing. She
gestured it towards the screen. "While everyone in this day and age
thinks
soy is really really good for you, that really couldn't be further
from the truth! Soy is filled with a deadly toxin called PROTEIN.
That's right,
protein. Protein is known for it's ability to build strength, keep
your heart healthy, and worst of all: BUILD MUSCLE MASS." About here
the
music started getting sadder and the lights started getitng dimmer.
"Why, I used to eat foods with protein in it all the time! Yes, it's
true. You
can't tell it from looking at me, but I used to be a huge protein
junkie!"
But then everything brightened up and the background changed
to up on top of a rainbow of some kind. "But not anymore!" she said,
now
happy again. "Now I've completely cut protein out of my diet, and
I've managed to cut my shave body weight down by 75%! If I can do it,
you
can too! And I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SOY is only the first step!"
"That's a wonderful story, Suzuka!" said the narrator. "But
tell us, DOES it taste like real soy?"
"I don't really notice, I had my taste buds surgically
removed so I wouldn't be tempted to feed myself more than once every
two weeks!" said
Suzuka cheerfully.
"You heard her, folks!" said the narrator happily. "I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT'S NOT SOY! Taking your health one step further."
[AND NOW BACK TO OUR SHOW!]
"HAIL LORD HAZANKO!" yelled the Anten Six.
"Thank you, Anten people." said Hazanko. "As you all know,
the universe is corrupt. It is our mission as agents of the
idealogical
organization of the 108 Suns to...wait a second, Anten Six?" He
turned to look at Hanmyo. "When the heck did YOU get back?"
"When I crashed a huge jet liner into the side of the ship!"
said Hanmyo happily. "How'd you miss that?"
"YOU WHAT?!" yelled Hazanko. "Hamushi, assess the damage!"
"The plane penetrated the hull, but no oxygen is escaping."
said Hamushi. "The ship is pretty much intact."
"Good. Hitoriga and Leilong, go gather the wallets of the
dead passengers. Bring the survivors to me. Gather the survivor's
wallets as well
while you're at it." said Hazanko.
"I need a new wallet, can I keep one of them?" asked Hitoriga.
"I suppose." sighed Hazanko.
"Can I keep one?" asked Leilong.
"Sure, why not?" said Hazanko.
"Can I keep the money in it?" asked Leilong.
"No!" said Hazanko. "The money we gain will go to fund our
journey to recapture Melfi-"
"What about me? Can I?" asked Hitoriga.
"No! Now get your act together and get down to that plane!"
yelled Hazanko, standing up.
"What if they have any fan club membership cards? I love the
feeling of being a part of something bigger!" said Hitoriga happily.
"GET MOVING!" yelled Hazanko, pulling a rope hanging from the
ceiling and opening a trap door beneath the two of them.
"AAAAAAH!" the two idiots yelled as they fell down.
"AAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAH! OH GOD HELP ME!" yelled a cop.
"What? What is it?" asked Tobeigera, walking up to him.
"Are you in pain?" asked Dave.
"Alright, wiseguys!" said the cop, ceasing his screaming.
"I'm the law in this town, and if I want to scream like a maniac for
no apparent
reason I damn well have the authority to! You boys are coming
DOWNTOWN!" He slapped some handcuffs onto them.
"What?! We didn't do anythin-" started Dave. "Wait a second,
aren't we ALREADY downtown?"
"It's very possible." said the cop mysteriously. "Now come
with me, you little hooligans!" He started walking and dragging the
two of them
behind him.
"Crap! What are we going to do now?" asked Dave. "Every
second we waste is one more second we...um... I dunno, the point here
is that
we're wasting seconds."
"Don't worry about it!" yelled Tobeigera. "I've been training
for this day! It's time to use my powers to save us!"
"Alright!" said Dave happily. "You have Tao magical powers too?"
"Um...well not quite." sighed Tobeigera. "Hey there officer!
Why do cars like my jokes?"
"Because they have no feelings and are therefore incapable of
completely hating them like everyone else in the universe?" wondered
the
cop.
"Uh, no. They never TIRE of hearing them!" chuckled
Tobeigera. He sighed and look at the cop. "But I guess your answer
works too..."
"Of course it does! I'm the law, and everything I say is
right!" said the cop angrily. "Walk faster!" They arrived at the
police station, and the cop
shoved them into two chairs in an interrogation room.
"I'm not gonna ask you again!" demanded the cop. "Where's the
secret Pop Boppin' Treasure?"
"You never asked us in the first place." said Tobeigera. "And
what the hell is the Pop Boppin' Treasure?"
The cop chuckled. "Heh heh, I should be the one asking YOU
that! Dippy!"
"Um, excuse me?" asked Tobeigera.
"Dippy. It's what all the cool punk rockers are saying
nowadays." said the cop.
"...You're not a punk rocker!" exclaimed Dave.
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" yelled the cop. "You may be a
multi-billionaire web designer, but I think you're forgetting who has
the most
AUTHORITY in this room!"
"Officer, are you on crack?" asked Tobeigera.
"Yes and no." sighed the cop. "Now show me your wallers!"
"...Wallers?" asked Dave. "You mean wallets?"
"Don't get French with me, mister!" yelled the cop. "Now hand
over the wallers!" Tobeigera and Dave handed him their wallets.
The cop opened Dave's wallet and looked through it. "AHA!
This picture here is PROOF that you've been illegally producing
oatmeal-flavored soap in your basement! I've caught you now!"
Dave looked at the picture. "That's a picture of me and my
sister playing Scattergories!"
"SILEEENNNNCE!" yelled the cop. "How do I know there's not
some kind of sinister subplot behind this game of Scattergatters?!"
"It's called Scattergories!" said Tobeigera, frustrated.
"I'm locking you boys up for a long time!" said the cop evilly.
"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Dave and Tobeigera.
"Alright, so how do we find the MacDougall's secret hideout?"
asked Gene. Him, the crew, and Cleveland were wandering around the
city
trying to think of a plan. They weren't succeeding because they we
were playing catch with Cleveland, and didn't have much time to
think.
"We could always violently interrogate the locals." said Suzuka.
"No way, remember last time we tried that?" sighed Gene.
"What's that supposed to mean? We got to the flea market on
time, didn't we?" asked Suzuka.
"Oh sure, that plan worked fine THEN..." said Aisha. "But
what about the time we had to get to the bake sale on time? Or when
we had to get
to that Aerosmith concert? Or when-"
"Alright, I'll admit the violent interrogation didn't pan out
so well in those situations, but we just didn't execute it well
enough. We need to
strike harder and faster this time!" said Suzuka enthusiastically.
"Here's a plan that DOESN'T require us killing half the
people in the city." said Aisha, rolling her eyes. She paused. "...Oh
wait, it does
actually. Never mind."
"Well this totally sucks." sighed Gene. "I guess we'll have
to do constant surveillance of the city, never eating or sleeping.
We'll have to
physically comb every square inch of Blue Heaven tirelessly, hoping
for-"
"Alright guys, I'm back." said Jim happily. "I just got their
adress from a phone book over there, so lets get going!"
"I guess that works..." shrugged Gene.
"Alright! We have retrieved all survivors and the
non-survivor's wallers!" said Hitoriga happily. "I mean, wallets."
"Excellent!" said Hazanko, rubbing his hands together. "How
much cash did you get?"
"Not a single penny." shrugged Leilong. "The flight was
reserved entirely for members of Money Sucks, an extremist group of
people who
hate money for no particular reason."
"Damn. Some luck we have." sighed Hazanko. "What about the
survivors? Any lookers?"
"Um, lookers?" wondered Hitoriga.
"Yes, you know. Babes. Chicks. Skirts. Hos. Dames. Preteens.
Whatever you want to call them." said Hazanko.
"Oh. No, none of those." said Hitoriga, staring at Hazanko
strangely. "We did get old whats-his-name, though."
"How y'all doin'!!?" yelled Gwen Khan.
"Wow! Gwen Khan!" said Hazanko, amazed. "I haven't seen you
since high school! Remember the song?"
"Haha, do I ever!" said Kahn. "Yes, I certainly do. Yep. I
remember it."
[HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES SING-A-LONG!]
(Hazanko and Gwen change into Elvis costumes and start dancing a ton)
Hazanko: Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Khan: There's something! I said there's something I know!
Hazanko: Yeah! Rock! Rock!
Khan: My ex-girlfriend! She's kind of a ho!
Hazanko: Oh yeah! Break it down!
Khan: 'Cause she turned me down!
Hazanko: That's what! It's what!
Khan: Turned me down at the PRROOOOOM!
Hazanko: At the prom! Whoa yo!
Khan: That's what I'm saying! Take it, Sporky!
(music stops playing)
Hazanko: Sporky?
Khan: Yeah, that was your nickname. Remember?
Hazanko: Oh yeah. Sorry about that.
Khan: No biggie.
Hazanko: Word.
(music starts again)
Hazanko: My teacher ate my lunch!
Khan: Yeahyeah! YEEAH!
Hazanko: She bit it, chomped it, chewed!
Khan: I'm going! Yeah, I'm going!
Hazanko: She spit the seeds into my tea!
Khan: WHOA WHOA WHO- Wait a second...
Hazanko: AND THEN MY TEA TURNED BLUUUEEE!
Khan: Is that how it went?
Hazanko: I think so. I dunno, it's been a long time.
Khan: Okay...What happens next?
Hazanko: Next? Did we have another verse?
Khan: I'm pretty sure we did.
Hazanko: Weird, I don't remember ever having one.
Khan: (shrugs) Maybe I'm wrong.
Hazanko: ....
Kahn: .....And while we're at it, did we always wear these Elvis
costumes?
(music stops)
[THIS HAS BEEN HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES SING-A-LONG!]
"Okay, I'm sorry everyone. That was simply embarrassing."
said Hazanko, pulling off his Elvis wig of doom.
"I thought it was cool." said Hamushi. "I mean, it was nice
to actually see you move once in a while.
"What do you mean?" asked Hazanko.
"Seriously, you must have had like 4 animated sequences
throughout the Outlaw Star series. The rest of the time you just sort
of stood
around." said Hamushi.
"Series? Whatchoo talkin' bout?" asked Kahn.
"Oh, don't worry about her Gwen." sighed Hazanko. "These are
the most skilled and fearless soldier people in the galaxy. They have
been
stained with the blood of innocents countless times. She's probably
just feeling some lingering side efects. Like insanity."
"Goodness, I didn't know being a pirate was so
sanity-taxing!" said Kahn worriedly.
"Oh, of course it is!" said Hazanko happily. "Why, Jukei here
got so raving we had to put him in that straitjacket!"
"I wasn't insane, I was calling Windows XP well-crafted and
bug free!" said Jukei angrily. "Oh...Yeah. Never mind."
"Nevertheless, you're just the person I wanted to see, Kahn!"
said Hazanko cheerfully.
"I felt the same way!" sighed Kahn. "It's a shame how
everyone can forget their youth so easily! Indeed it is."
"That's not what I meant." said Hazanko. "We need your
knowledge of Melfina and the rest of that crap in order to achieve
our goal! So tell
me, will you help us?"
"Yessiree, I'd be glad to. Yep, uh huh. Totally. Right on. I
will. Yes." said Kahn.
"Yay!" said Hazanko. "Welcome to the team!" He and Kahn shook hands.
"Hazanko, we're now in orbit Blue Heaven." said Hamushi.
"It's about fucking time."
"Commence the landing procedure!" commanded Hazanko. "And
remember Leilong, it's NOT the self destruct button, it's the one
NEXT to
it."
"Jeez, I make one mistake and I hear about it the rest of my
life." muttered Leilong, pressing the Landing Procedure button.
"All I'm saying is that if you gave a robot a little baby
robot to take care of, 9 times out of 10 the big robot would light
the baby robot on fire."
sighed Ron.
"That's a lie, back at the orphanage there were robots taking
care of babies all the time." said Harry. "Very VERY few got lit on
fire!"
"I know, but it's the fact that the robot is forced to take
care of one of it's own kind." said Ron. "Robots are made to serve
humans, and the
big robot would see the baby robot as competition for it's master's
affections."
"No! You're lying!" sobbed Harry, covering his ears.
"BabyKillerTron would never do such a thing!"
"You need to stop defending that stupid robot!" said Ron,
losing his temper. "BabyKillerTron KILLED that little girl, and he
WILL kill again!"
"He will not! He's just confused!" said Harry defensively.
"BEEP BEEP. BABYKILLERTRON AM CONFUSED." said BabyKillerTron.
"WHERE AM THE HUMAN PUNIES TO SMUSH?"
"No more human punies for you, BabyKillerTron!" yelled Ron.
"We're taking you to the dump for dismantling right after this final
battle!"
"BABYKILLERTRON AM SAD. COLON LEFT PARENTHESEE." said BabyKillerTron.
Suddenly the door was busted down. "This is it! Prepare for
battle, Harry!" yelled Ron, picking up his caster.
"Here's your pizza." said the pizza guy who kicked down the
door. "That'll be $12.95."
"Phew, what a relief!" said Harry, apparently relieved.
"Relief? This pizza costs 12.95! Who cooked it, Emeril?"
asked Ron. Grumbling, he handed the pizza guy the money.
"Oh, and your door was locked." said the pizza guy calmly. "I
suggest you do not lock it again." He straightened his pizza guy hat
and walked
out the door.
"I think we've just been visited by the most utterly badass
pizza guy of all time." said Harry.
Ron flipped up the lid of the box. "Some badass that guy is!
He got our orders mixed up! The only topping on this one is spinach!"
"Oh no, that's no mistake! That's just what I ordered!" said
Harry with glee.
"What?! I thought you said you ordered pepperoni!" said Ron.
"I wanted to surprise you!" said Harry.
"Great...." sighed Ron.
"BABYKILLERTRON AM SURPRISED. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW." beeped
BabyKillerTron.
"Shh!" said Ron. "Do you guys hear voices?" Everyone stopped
and listened to the voices that seemed to be coming from right
outside the
house.
"Okay, so we're here. Are we SURE this is the right adress
this time?" asked Suzuka.
"Of course we're sure! Besides, that orphanage was probably a
secret black market scam orperative anyway!" said Aisha cheerfully.
"Crap, the door's been busted down! There goes our cliche!
Jim, jump through the window!" commanded Gene.
"What? No way! Are you insane?" wondered Jim.
"Very well then. Aisha, toss Jim through the window." said Gene.
"Can do!" laughed Aisha, chucking Jim through the window.
"Ow! Jesus Aisha, you could have at least thrown underhand!"
yelled Jim.
"IT BABY! BABYKILLERTRON SMUSH PUNY BABY!" yelled BabyKillerTron.
"Aaaah!" yelled Jim, trying to run.
"No! Bad BabyKillerTron!" yelled Ron, hitting it with a
newspaper. "Baby is friend! Baby, FRIEND! BABY...FRIEND!"
"Baby...friend?" wondered BabyKillerTron. "BabyKillerTron
feels strange. BabyKillerTron run virus scan."
"No no, BabyKillerTron..." said Harry. "It's not a virus.
It's called LOVE."
"Love?" asked BabyKillerTron. "What is this...love?
BabyKillerTron feels so strange. Like a mysterious virus is deleting
all my baby killing
software. You never programmed me to feel...love."
"Love doesn't COME from a program, BabyKillerTron! It comes
from your heart!" smiled Harry.
"This is really fucking stupid." remarked Ron.
"Agreed." said Jim.
Suddenly Gene jumped into the room, guns at the ready. "Give
it up, MacDougall! Give old what's-her-name back to us and nobody has
to
get hurt here!"
"Shoot me, man! I like it!" said BabyKillerTron.
"Um, just who the hell are you?" asked Gene.
"Just a lonely robot who has turned from his sinful ways and
has now found true inner peace." said BabyKillerTron. "Now shoot me,
I desire
to feel more of your human emotions!"
"Oh...well, okay dude." said Gene, shooting BabyKillerTron.
"OW! Shit, this hurts! Feels great!" said BabyKillerTron happily.
"No! BabyKillerTron!" cried Harry. "Gene Starwind, I'm gonna
kill you!"
"Why? He likes it." said Gene.
"But I don't! He's in pain!" yelled Harry.
"No I'm not!" said BabyKillerTron.
"CHRIST, WE'LL GIVE YOU MELFINA! JUST SPARE HIS LIFE!" sobbed Harry.
"We will?" wondered Ron.
"Uh, but I wasn't going to shoot him any mor-" started Gene,
but Harry was already untying Melfina.
"I'm sorry Melfina, but BabyKillerTron needs my guidance
now!" said Harry. "I can't let him perish!"
"Well..okay." said Melfina, as soon as she was all untied.
"Great! That's wonderful, um... wait, I'll think of it...
Melfina!" said Gene happily. "Jim, go warm up the ship! We'll be out
in a second!"
"Alright!" said Jim cheerfully, skipping out the door.
"Bingo night is still on, right Ron?" asked Gene.
"Right-o!" said Ron, high fiving Gene.
"Well, that's that! Another successful mission!" laughed
Gene. He turned and headed towards the door. "Come on Melfina, let's
get going!
The plot hole of how we're using the Party Ship without you to run it
is only etting bigger, you know!" He paused, and turned around.
Melfina
was standing in the same place. "Come ON Melfina, I'll convince Jim
to let us splurge on dinner tonight to celebrate you coming back!
Let's
hurry up, I bet you're starving!"
Melfina just looked at the ground. "Gene, I'm sorry, but I'm
not coming!"
Gene stared at her. "What do you mean, not coming? We've been
looking for you for ages!"
"Don't tell me that, you couldn't care less about me!"
shouted Melfina. "I've heard firsthand from Aisha about how you
disrespect me! I'm
disgusted! I'm surprised you even came to find me!"
"Wait, what did Aisha tell you? Melfina, I'm sure I can
explain!" said Gene.
"I'm sure you can, but how do I know that won't be a lie
too?" said Melfina, tears forming in her eyes. "This conversation is
over, Gene. I'm
staying with Harry!"
"Really?!" said Harry gleefully. "This is great! I've got a
whole ton of cool toys we can mess around with!"
"T-toys?!" stammered Gene, turning pale. "Melfina, I had no idea!"
"Yes, toys. Really, you shouldn't be surprised." said
Melfina. "I mean, knowing the kind of personality Harry has and all."
"I suppose you're right." sighed Gene. "But Melfina, I can't
believe that this is goodbye..."
"Don't think of it as goodbye, think of it as...well..."
Melfina thought. "Think of it as a really great and above average
goodbye."
"Well, alright." sighed Gene. "If this is what you want, I'll
walk away. Is it really what you want?"
Melfina looked from Gene, then to Harry, then out the window
because some guy was streaking. She finally looked back to Gene.
"Yes, it's
what I want." she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Then I'm outta here." said Gene, walking out the door.
As soon as Gene left, Harry turned to Melfina and spoke. "Oh
man, just WAIT till you see all the cool toys I have! I've got legos,
lincoln logs,
transformers..."
Okay, so that's all done. I think this chapter has it's funny
moments, but I don't really know. Once again, it was mainly to
advance the plot. I
AM GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS MELFINA THING.
Jet: No you aren't!
Yes I am, and don't believe anything anyone says otherwise!
But as promised, the next chapter will return the story to normal. Do
not fear,
this story will soon start being funny again.
Suzuka: cough
Eh? What's the matter Suzuka? Got a cold?
Suzuka: No, but I seem to remember a promise you made to me....
I made you a promise?
Suzuka: Yes! The one about Vash the Stampede!
Oh yeah. Let me go get him. BEEP BEEP!
Vash: (enters room) You rang?
Meet Suzuka. Suzuka, meet Vash.
Suzuka: (blush) Nice to meet you.
Vash: Dude, I thought you said she'd be hot!
Suzuka: WHAT?!
She IS hot, you maniac! Look at her!
Vash: I don't think she's hot.
You insane homo, just take her to a movie or something!
Jet: Sometimes she fucks on the first date!
