It's that time again, kiddies. Time for...ANUDDER CHAPPIE! Kapow kick
bam! Take some of them! Argh, I'm shot!
Jet: ....What the hell are you doing?
THEY SENT ME TO THE WRONG YEAR!
Jet: ....Shut up. Just shut up.
Who died and made YOU eight feet tall?! Huh?! HUH!? (kicks Jet)
Jet: Ow.
Let's KEEP IT that way!
----------
It was a shiny shiny shiny day in the Party Ship's crew's
really small apartment on Blue Heaven. I'm not really sure why
they're
staying there so long when they could easily just fix up the Party
Ship and get the hell out of there, but oh well. The room looked
pretty darn empty, except for Suzuka who just walked in the door,
covered in blood. She apparently just got back from a pretty great
assassination job. She sighed and kicked off her high heels, which
now that I think about it would be a really really bad choice of
assassin footwear. Seriously, they would be impossible to do anything
cool in. I can just see Suzuka doing some kick ass aerial
assassin attack, only to land and twist her ankle. I bet her dress is
so long because she's hiding scars from multiple compound
factures on her legs. But ANYWAYS...
"That was one hell of a battle." said Suzuka, slumping onto a
couch. "Man, if only you'd have been there to see it. I was all over
the
place, but he was follwing my every move. In the end I finally
stopped him by slipping a grenade down his pants." About here she
realized the room was empty. "Where the heck did everybody go?" she
wondered, then quickly reminded herself that the room was
empty and therefore she wasn't likely to get an answer. She walked
over to the refrigerator to check for notes.
"THERE'S A NOTE HERE!" yelled Suzuka for no reason. "Think I
should read it?" There was a long silence. "GOD DAMMIT,
THERE'S NO ONE HERE! WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING THAT?" There was a
short silence. "SHIT, I DID IT AGAIN! WHY?! AM I
GOING INSANE?!" After about 30 more minutes of this, she read the
note.
"Dear Suzuka. How ya doin? Me, Jim, Aisha, and Gilliam are
going to go buy Fred a new dog before he gets back from his vacation
to Kansadopia. We were gonna ask you to tag along, but you've been
out for three weeks on your stupid assassination thing and
we frankly didn't know whether you were alive or dead or not. I left
some cash on the counter so you can go out to eat or something.
Sincerely, Gene "Aisha-Humper" Starwind." read Suzuka aloud. There
was a large red stain that looked like blood near the
signature, probably from Aisha punishing Gene for his new self-given
nickname.
"Well, if that don't beat it all." said Suzuka. "They go off
on a miserable 2000-mile car trip to buy Fred a new dog, and I'm
stuck here
at home with the whole apartment to myself and buying expensive meals
with Gene's money. Shows how much THEY care about
me!"
She walked over to the dresser and picked up a small booklet
that had 'NEW TO BLUE HEAVEN?! Check out the BIGGEST and
BEST nighttime hotspots with this handy guide!' on the cover. She
began leafing through the pages. Suddenly a little phone thing
started beeping. She jumped up really fast. "I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT
I'LL GET IT!" She dashed over to the phone and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi there Suzuka! What's up?" said a WAY WAY too happy voice
on the other end.
"Fred? What do you want?" asked Suzuka.
"Not a lot. Is Gene around?" asked Fred.
"No. He's buying you a-um...a present." said Suzuka.
"A present?! Oh goody!" giggled Fred. "I love presents!"
"Um, yeah. So what are you doing in Kansadopia, Fred?" asked Suzuka.
"Oh, I packed my bags and left the other day because Shorton
kept BEGGING me to come!" said Fred.
"Oh, that's neat." said Suzuka. "Who's Shorton?"
"I'm not really sure...A nice fellow from Kansadopia I
suppose." said Fred uncertainly.
"Um...okay." said Suzuka. "Well, I'll se ya later Fred."
"Wait, don't hang up." said Fred. "I've got to ask you something."
Suzuka sighed and returned to the phone. "Look Fred, if this
is about that ONE time I made out with Aisha on national TV-"
"Actually, it is. Kind of. It's really more about Dave the
Sunglasses Guy." said Fred.
"Dave? Oh man, I haven't seen him in ages!" said Suzuka,
leaning back on the couch. "Where is that guy anyways?"
"I was hoping you could tell ME that." said Fred worriedly.
"You were the last person to see him, on your date remember?"
"Well...I don't really remember much of it. He ran over some
little kid or something and then all these villagers came and
kidnapped him. It all happened pretty fast." said Suzuka. "If I had
to make a guess, I'd say he was in prison."
"Oh, thanks for your help!" said Fred. "I just hope the poor
guy isn't TOO heartbroken when I tell him you chose Aisha over
him..."
"Hey, wait! Don't tell him that!" said Suzuka. "Arrange
another date for us!"
"See ya later!" said Fred, hanging up.
"STUPID FRED!" yelled Suzuka, kicking the phone. "He's the
worst! Now I know why you hate him so much, Gene!" She stopped.
"Crap, there's nobody here!"
It was a cold, unforgiving death day of sadness deep in
prison. The Anten...Seven (They finally accepted Tobeigera back into
their
ranks for mysterious reasons! Oooh!) plus Dave were sitting around in
a prison cell, passing time. Parcheesi was already getting
boring, as well as Monopoly, their various game systems, the
waterslide park, and the huge orgies. I don't really know how they
got
all that stuff in their prison cell, but whatever.
"You know, these prison walls are made of simple concrete."
said Leilong, feeling one of the prison walls. "We could probably
just
bust our way out of here with our magical tao powers."
"Good idea! Alright, everyone stand aside!" yelled Hamushi,
jumping into the middle of the room and conjuring up a huge death
ball of death. She stopped for a second. "That means you, Tobeigera."
"But I wanna die!" whined Tobeigera. "I must leave this
horrible, humorless universe! It is my wish!"
"Well too bad. We live in a cold, cold world where wishes
never ever come true." said Hamushi, casting a bitter look at Dave as
she said these words.
"Oh stop it. You know I hate it when you cast bitter looks at
me." said Dave.
"OH YEAH?! WELL I HATE IT WHEN YOU...um...well...DODGE THIS!"
yelled Hamushi casting her death ball of death at him.
"Okay." said Dave, dodging it. The ball zoomed past and
exploded a wall.
"Yay!" said Hazanko, skipping through the new hole. "It leads
right out to the parking lot! Let's find Kahn and our Geomancer and
get out of here!"
"Alright, let's get searching!" yelled Hanmyo. "Everybody split up!"
4 DAYS LATER
"That fruitcake bastard!" yelled Hazanko, running around in
the parking lot. "That withered old clam stole our Geomancer!" It was
true. There was no Geomancer to be found. He raised his fists to the
heavens. "Damn you, Kahn! I regret ever letting you borrow my
girlfriend for that one really great slow dance at the senior prom!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS CRIME WITH YOUR BLOOD!"
"Now now, Hazanko." said Hitoriga. "Let's not get hysterical.
The most sensible thing in this situation would be to notify him on
his
cell phone and politely request he return our ship before we resort
to measures of that drastic natu-"
"FOOL! YOU DARE SPEAK WHEN LORD HAZANKO IS SWEARING
REVENGE?!" yelled Hazanko.
"Yes. I mean yes. Er, no." said Hitoriga. "I mean yes. Wait,
no. Whatever."
"YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" said Hazanko smugly. "Hamushi,
call Kahn on your cell phone."
"Batteries need to recharge." said Hamushi.
"Okay then. Jukei." said Hazanko.
"I don't have any pockets in my straitjacket." said Jukei.
"Leilong?" asked Hazanko.
"I left mine back in the prison cell." shrugged Leilong.
"Hanmyo?"
"What's a cell phone?" asked Hanmyo.
"BAH! YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL USELESS!" yelled Hazanko, slamming
his fist on a wall.
"Hey, you forgot to ask me to use MY cell phone." said Hitoriga.
"Okay then, use your cell phone and call Kahn!" said Hazanko
excitedly.
"I can't. I'm expecting a call." said Hitoriga.
"GOD DAMN YOU!" yelled Hazanko.
"We'll take the biggest and coolest dog you have." said Gene.
"It'd be cool if he was a robot." said Aisha.
"A green one." said Jim.
"This is a fast food place." said the guy behind the register.
"I know, I'm just rehearsing for the real thing." said Gene.
"I'll have 3 chili dogs."
"Oh, okay." said the guy.
"I'll have a grape triple sticky heart damage milkshake!"
said Aisha, jumping up and down with glee.
"I'll have a happy meal!" said Jim. Gene and Aisha snorted
and laughed at him. "I mean, I'll have a sad meal."
"All our meals are sad meals." said the register guy.
"Then I'll take them all!" said Jim.
"Uh...Do you really think you can eat all that, Jim?" asked Gene.
"Of course I can! I'm an adult now!" said Jim.
"That's not really the point." said Aisha. "Not even Gene
Shalit could eat all that food."
"Oh yeah?! Well maybe I'm more ADULT than Gene Shalit! Ever
think of that?!" yelled Jim, freaking out for no real reason.
"...No." said Aisha.
"I KNEW IT!" yelled Jim. He whirled around to face the guy
behind the register. "And I'll have a happy meal prize to go with my
ULTRA ADULT lunch! The new set of Spy Kids toys are out!"
"Oh man, not this again." sighed Gene. "Why is it that
whenever we go somewhere with Jim, he starts acting all 'adult'?"
"I think it's cute!" giggled Aisha.
"Aisha, no. We're not in the original Outlaw Star series
anymore, you don't have to flirt with Jim and weave Jim-loving
subconcious
messages into everything you say anymore. We don't TOLERATE
pedophilia in this wholesome kinda-sequel!" said Gene happily.
"But...I...Alright." said Aisha sadly.
"Everyone get BACK! IN! THE! CAR! I'm gonna get us to the pet
store in FIFTEEN MINUTES FLAT!" yelled Jim with a mouthful of fish
sandwich.
"Um, forget it." said Gene. "Fifteen minutes? You'd have to
drive approximately 4570 mph to get us there that fast."
"Exactly! Hop in!" said Jim gleefully, running into the
parking lot. He stared at the driver's side door. "Uh, Gene? Can you
give me a
boost?"
"Sure." said Gene, picking him up and putting him in the seat.
"Thanks!" yelled Jim. "And now it's time to BURN! SOME!
RUBBER!" He shifted the car into reverse.
"Are you insane?!" yelled Gene, getting into the front
passenger's seat. "You're an underage driver! You could get into HUGE
trouble! Also, we're in a residential zone!"
"I'm not a little kid anymore Gene! I can handle this!" yelled Jim.
"Hey, what's all the poppin fresh?" asked Aisha, walking out
of the fast food place holding a huge bowl of fry grease with a straw
stuck in it.
"Jim's going to kill us all!" whined Gene.
"I am not!" said Jim, kicking Gene.
"I have faith in Jim!" said Aisha, getting in the backseat.
"He can do anything he sets his mind to, because he's SUCH a manly
adult!"
"Aisha, what did I tell you about flirting with Jim?" asked Gene.
"Ah yeah. Sorry about that." said Aisha, taking a slurp from
her bowl of fry grease.
"....Is that a bowl of grease?" asked Gene.
"Yes sir it is." said Aisha happily, taking another slurp.
"Isn't that kind of...fattening?" asked Gene.
"Nah. The Ctarl Ctarl's SUPER METABOLISM POWER makes us
invulnerable to fattening!" said Aisha with pride.
"Alright, everyone buckle up! We're in for a BUMPY RIDE!"
yelled Jim, peeling out of the parking lot.
"Thanks for the warning, retard." said Gene, rubbing his
now-bruised head and fastening his seatbelt. "This is a bad idea.
Look,
can't you slow down a little bit? You're gonna hit someone- Yeah.
See, what did I tell you?"
"Psh. That chick looked pretty healthy. I'm sure she's fine."
said Jim, checking the rearview mirror.
"Her severed head is smeared on our windshield." Gene pointed out.
"Maybe she was part cockroach. Those guys can live without
their head for 2 weeks, you know." said Jim.
"Just how fast were you going? It looked to me like she
exploded on impact." asked Aisha.
"Aisha, shut up and eat your grease." said Jim.
"I'm getting kind of sick though...It's kind of gross stuff."
said Aisha.
"EAT IT ANYWAY!" yelled Jim, frustrated.
Aisha looked frightened. "Jim, what has happened to you?
You're so different...You're nothing like the Jim I fell in love
with!"
"God dammit Aisha!" said Gene.
It was a dark and stormy night on Blue Heaven. Actually, the
skies were pretty clear. Excellent stargazing conditions, if you ask
me.
But anyways, the Anten Seven and Dave were walking around in the big,
bustling city and trying to decide what to do next.
"Okay, so we're stuck on this stupid asteroid thing without a
spaceship." said Hazanko. "What's the first course of action to deal
with this problematic situation?"
"Get really drunk and forget the whole thing?" asked Dave.
"Exactly." said Hazanko. "Let's find a car to hotwire so we
can examine the local nightlife!"
"Here's a Ford." said Hamushi. "I'm sure no one will miss it."
"I certainly wouldn't." agreed Hazanko, disgusted. "However,
it's a bit small. We need something that can hold all of us, like a
minivan or something."
"I found one I found one!" yelled Tobeigera, jumping up and
down in front of a minivan.
"But...It has wood paneling! UUGGGGHH!" said Jukei in disgust.
"It'll have to do." said Hazanko. "Everone climb in, we're
going for a ride!"
"I get the back! I get the back!" yelled Hitoriga.
"No, I want the back!" yelled Jukei, scrambling into the car.
"You guys can BOTH get in the back." sighed Hazanko. "It's a
3-person seat."
"Woohoo!" yelled Hitoriga, high fiving Jukei. Since Jukei's
Arm was strapped to his side, the high five was just Hitoriga
smacking
Jukei in the face. It was pretty damn funny.
"Everyone buckle the heck up cause LEILONG, MASTER OF THE
HIGHWAY, is officially driving!" yelled Leilong, hopping into the
driver's seat.
"No. Get out." said Hazanko. "You're the worst driver in the
whole universe."
"Oh come ON!" whined Leilong. "I'm perfectly fine so long as
I don't have to paralell park! Or reverse. Or turn. Or stop
accelerating."
Hazanko sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine, fine. Since
you're the only one of us with a license, you can drive. But you'd
better
not screw this up."
"You can count on me!" said Leilong happily. "Someone smart,
hotwire this thingy so we can get out of here!"
"I took Hotwiring 101 in high school, let me handle it." said
Dave. He walked over to the minivan, popped the hood and got to work.
"Hang on...wait a second..." He pointed to a small wire in the care
that looked clipped. "Somebody cut the brakes on this thing. I
don't think it's safe to use this car."
"Psh, who cares? I never use the brakes anyway." said
Leilong. "Just hurry up and get in, whoever's car this is left their
keys in the
ignition!"
"Wow, what a stroke of luck!" said Hazanko happily. "Everyone
pile in!" They very, very slowly backed out of the parking lot and
started driving through the big city. If you listened closely, you
could hear the song "Summer In The City" by Lovin' Spoonful playing
in the background. Hey, speaking of Lovin' Spoonful....
"This is miserable." said Ron crabbily, driving his car on a
stretch of Blue Heaven highway. "Melfina, are you sure you copied
down
BabyKillerTron's directions right?"
"Yep, positive. 'Drive on Highway 89 for a while. Bleep
bleep. Then head off into Exit 597. There, you'll find the SECRET
ACCURSED MONSTER HEAD OF THE APOCALYPSE! Bleep. I just spilled my
fucking coffee. God dammit.' That's all he told me."
said Melfina.
"I'm gonna miss that BabyKillerTron." sighed Harry. "He was
so sincere about everything he did...I always really admired that
about
him."
"What did he do? Did he even DO anything?" asked Ron.
"Uh...He killed some babies and stuff." said Harry. "But he
did it with such sincerity..."
"Uh oh, Bumps Ahead." said Ron, reading off a road sign.
"Better buckle up, you guys...."
MEANWHILE, ON THE SAME STRETCH OF HIGHWAY
"Bumps ahead?" asked Jim, barely being able to read the road
sign as it sped past his head at light speed. "JIM FEARS NO
BUMPS! SEATBELTS OFF, EVERYONE!"
"Jim, can you slow down even a little? I'm gonna be sick..."
moaned Aisha.
"What's that, Aisha?! Did you say...SPEED UP?" asked Jim
rhetorically, flattening the gas pedal and driving even faster.
"Aisha, it's that grease you keep eating." said Gene. "Just
dump that crap out the window and see if you can hold the projectile
vomiting until we make it to a rest station."
BACK AT THE MACDOUGALLS CAR "Hey, what's that car up ahead?" asked Harry. "Wow, they're
going fast!"
"Hey, that's Gene Starwind's car!" said Harry, amazed.
"Wonder what old Gener's doing way out here?"
"What's that bowl they're dumping out the window?" wondered
Melfina. "Is that grease?"
"Yeah right. Like Gene Starwind would be hauling around a
huge bowl of grease in his ca-AAAAAAH!" started Ron, but he finished
in a scream because their car began slipping on the spilled grease.
"I...I can't control it!" stuttered Ron as the car slipped
off the road.
"Your hands aren't even on the steering wheel!" Melfina pointed out.
"Oh. Oh yeah." said Ron, but it was already too late. They
were off road and rolling the car over and over again down a huge
hill.
"I hope there's not a river or something at the bottom!"
yelled Ron over the deafening noise.
"I don't think there is!" said Harry.
"Oh, good." said Ron calmly. "We don't have to worry about a
thing then." The car bumped and crunched down the rest of the hill
until it finally came to rest at the bottom.
"Woohoo!" laughed Ron, pumping his fist in the air.
"GET OUT OF THE CAR! GET OUT OF THE CAR!" yelled Melfina.
"Why? We're safe! Yeehaw!" chuckled Ron. He grabbed the
steering wheel. "Let's get back on the highway!"
Melfina yanked him out of the car mere seconds before it
exploded in a horrible fireball. "Wow! It's so pretty!" remarked
Harry.
"Reminds me of back in high school, when I blew up your car in a
horrible fireball."
"Ah yes, those were the days." said Ron happily.
"You guys are both maniacs." said Melfina. She looked around
at at the barren, desolate landscape they crashed in. No sign of life
all around, not even a dead tree. The wind whistled across the
featureless landscape and the cracked ground beneath their feet. It
was seemingly colored entirely in greyscale, it was so melancholy.
"Just where the heck are we?"
"Apparently we're in some writer's corny scene description."
said Ron. "Let's get out of here, fast."
"Let's get back to the highway and hitch hike." said Harry,
turning around. "It should be just up that hill we fell...?" Everyone
paused
and stared behind them. There was no hill there at all, just the same
endless, featureless desolate wasteland. They looked all
around them for some sign of the hill, but it was gone.
"What the hell?!" yelled Melfina. "The hill's gone! Where the
fuck...How did we get here?"
"Shhh! There's children present!" said Ron. "Harry's very
impressionable, so you don't want to-"
"Haha! What a funny word! Fuck fuck fuck!" laughed Harry.
"Fuck fuck fuck! Haha! Fuck! Say it with me everyone! FUCK!"
"Fuck!" said Melfina, joining in the fun.
"Both of you, shut up." said Ron quickly. "Apparently we've
fallen into some kind of crazy time rift or something, and now we're
in
some kind of alternate really scary dimension. Or maybe it's part of
some ancient curse...That we fell into a carefully designed trap
in the form of that bumpy part of the highway."
"Ron, are we trapped in a Stephen King novel?" asked Harry,
terrified.
"Don't be stupid Harry. If we were, this dimension would be
like 6,000 pages long." said Ron, like Harry was the biggest idiot in
the
world.
"That doesn't really make any sense...." said Melfina.
"Shut up!" said Ron. "Now then, the first step to our
survival is to find shelter."
"Well, there's a big scary house sitting right there." said
Harry. He pointed to a small, two-story house. It was really trashy
looking
and messed up, and all around scary. "I say we split up and search
the house for people and/or supplies." Apparently Harry has no
expereience with any horror movies at all.
"Good plan. I'll check the basement." said Melfina.
"I'll look around in the attic." said Ron.
"I'll check around the toolshed once it gets dark." said
Harry. They walked up to the house and walked inside.
"Do we need to turn on the lights?" asked Melfina.
"Pfff. Do we need to turn on the lights!" said Ron mockingly.
"What, you think some psychotic maniac is going to jump out of
nowhere, tie us up and subject us to a horrible brand of torture?"
"Yes." said Melfina. Then a psychotic maniac jumped out of
nowhere, tied them up, and prepared to subject them to a horrible
brand of torture.............
"...So the retarded Dutchman says to the schizophrenic midget
rabbi: 'Oh YEAH, well I had fucked your momma UP THE ASS!'"
laughed Tobeigera.
"That's not funny." said Hamushi. "Not at all. Not even close."
"Yeah. Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand that class
of high brow humor." sighed Tobeigera. The Anten Seven and Dave
were hanging out at a local dance club. They were scoping the chicks
and talking to each other about random stuff.
"Dude, I dare you to ask that girl over there." said Jukei
with a chuckle.
Hitoriga looked at the girl Jukei was indicating. "Dude, no
way! She's way out of my league! YOU ask her!"
"No, you!" said Jukei in an overly whiny voice.
"If you guys are going to be such pansies about this, I'll
ask her myself." said Leilong. He walked over to the girl. "Excuse
me, can I
strangle you?"
"Dude! He actually asked her!" said Jukei, amazed.
"She's nodding! What's that mean?" wondered Hitoriga.
"Now she's kicking him in the face! And the stomach! Man, do
you think she'll say yes?" asked Jukei.
"Alright, screw this." said Hazanko. "You guys are rejects.
I'm going out on the dance floor." He walked out to the middle of the
dance floor. "Wait a second, and you guys are joining me!"
"What?!" yelped Dave, but before he or the rest of the Anten
guys could argue, Hazanko had mind controled them and forced them
to join him in dancing an EXACT replica of Michael Jackson's
Thriller. Just picture this. Isn't that the most totally sick ass
thing of all
time? If I experienced seeing the Anten people doing Thriller, I
think my head might explode from the sheer awesomeness of it all.
In fact, that's what started happening to the people in the club so
they had to stop. Sucks.
"Fine then, let's go back to our SIMPLE, boring lives."
sighed Hazanko.
"Hey, that girl over there keeps looking at me!" said
Hitoriga happily. "Think I've got a chance?"
Jukei stared long and hard at the girl, then back at
Hitoriga. "Not to offend your manliness, but I think she's only
looking at you
because you have a sack on your head."
"...Screw you. I'm gonna go talk to her." said Hitoriga,
standing up and wading through the throng of dancing people to the
girl. "Hey
there gorgeous, what's a beautiful thing like you doing in a place
like this?"
"That pickup line only works if you're in a really trashy
bar. This is the hottest and ritziest club in town." said Suzuka.
"What? Suzuka!" said Hitoriga.
"I was trying to get out of here before you noticed me. What
do you want? I've got other clubs to waste Gene's money on." said
Suzuka.
"Um...nothing important." said Hitoriga, flustered.
"Well, if it's not important then I'm leaving. See you
around." said Suzuka, turning to the door.
"Wait!" yelled Hitoriga, grabbing her arm. "Why did you make
out with that Ctarl girl on universal TV?! What about my feeli-"
"ACK! LET GO OF ME!" yelled Suzuka.
"Just hear me out!" demanded Hitoriga. "Do you really hate me
so much, that you would tear my heart to pieces in front of trillions
of-"
"RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!" yelled Suzuka. "SOMEBODY HELP, HE'S
TRYING TO RAPE ME!"
"No I'm not! I'd never do something so horrib-" started Hitoriga.
"RAPE! SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS! AGH, WHAT ARE YOU- OH MY GOD,
IT HURTS! NO! NO! OW OW OW OW! SOMEONE
PLEASE SAVE ME!" yelled Suzuka.
"....I don't know why I even try to have a decent
conversation with you when you always scream that I'm trying to rape
you." said
Hitoriga exasperatedly.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DUCT TAPE! AGH! NO! WHO ARE
THEY?! OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU HORRIBLE GUYS
GOING TO DO TO ME? KEEP AWAY FROM ME WITH THOSE FISH HOOKS! OH
PLEASE, SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW AND SPARE
ME FROM THE PAIN I'M SURE TO EXPERIENCE IN A FEW MINUTES!" yelled
Suzuka, almost pleading.
Dude, gross. I just sneezed, and now there's like mucus all
over my monitor. I'm not kidding. It's really disgusting. Crap, I did
it
again. Nwo it's cakde itssssself in my keybord adn its mkaing it
harrrd too tpye. Haha, tricked you. But wouldn't that be sick though?
Anyways, then some security guys grabbed Hitoriga and threw
him out of the club...................
"Arf arf!" said a dog in the backseat of Jim's car.
"Well, that was easy enough." said Gene happily. "We bought a
new dog for Fred, and now all we have to do is take it home and
leave it on his doorstep."
Jim got into the car and revved the engine. "So Fred won't
kill us and make me into a huge yaoi fan now?"
"Nope, we should be fine now." said Aisha happily as Jim
backed the car out of the pet store's parking lot. "That is, if
nothing goes
wrong...."
NEXT EPISODE: SOMETHING GOES WRONG!
-------------
And that's that for this episode, everyone. Didn't I finish
this one quickly? Aren't you all impressed? I can work hard if I
really want
to. Having a 4-day weekend helps too. Well, see you guys later in the
next episode of...THE PARTY SHIP! THE MOST PARTYIN'
STORY IN THE GALAXY!
Jet: CHANGE YOUR DAMN SLOGAN!
bam! Take some of them! Argh, I'm shot!
Jet: ....What the hell are you doing?
THEY SENT ME TO THE WRONG YEAR!
Jet: ....Shut up. Just shut up.
Who died and made YOU eight feet tall?! Huh?! HUH!? (kicks Jet)
Jet: Ow.
Let's KEEP IT that way!
----------
It was a shiny shiny shiny day in the Party Ship's crew's
really small apartment on Blue Heaven. I'm not really sure why
they're
staying there so long when they could easily just fix up the Party
Ship and get the hell out of there, but oh well. The room looked
pretty darn empty, except for Suzuka who just walked in the door,
covered in blood. She apparently just got back from a pretty great
assassination job. She sighed and kicked off her high heels, which
now that I think about it would be a really really bad choice of
assassin footwear. Seriously, they would be impossible to do anything
cool in. I can just see Suzuka doing some kick ass aerial
assassin attack, only to land and twist her ankle. I bet her dress is
so long because she's hiding scars from multiple compound
factures on her legs. But ANYWAYS...
"That was one hell of a battle." said Suzuka, slumping onto a
couch. "Man, if only you'd have been there to see it. I was all over
the
place, but he was follwing my every move. In the end I finally
stopped him by slipping a grenade down his pants." About here she
realized the room was empty. "Where the heck did everybody go?" she
wondered, then quickly reminded herself that the room was
empty and therefore she wasn't likely to get an answer. She walked
over to the refrigerator to check for notes.
"THERE'S A NOTE HERE!" yelled Suzuka for no reason. "Think I
should read it?" There was a long silence. "GOD DAMMIT,
THERE'S NO ONE HERE! WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING THAT?" There was a
short silence. "SHIT, I DID IT AGAIN! WHY?! AM I
GOING INSANE?!" After about 30 more minutes of this, she read the
note.
"Dear Suzuka. How ya doin? Me, Jim, Aisha, and Gilliam are
going to go buy Fred a new dog before he gets back from his vacation
to Kansadopia. We were gonna ask you to tag along, but you've been
out for three weeks on your stupid assassination thing and
we frankly didn't know whether you were alive or dead or not. I left
some cash on the counter so you can go out to eat or something.
Sincerely, Gene "Aisha-Humper" Starwind." read Suzuka aloud. There
was a large red stain that looked like blood near the
signature, probably from Aisha punishing Gene for his new self-given
nickname.
"Well, if that don't beat it all." said Suzuka. "They go off
on a miserable 2000-mile car trip to buy Fred a new dog, and I'm
stuck here
at home with the whole apartment to myself and buying expensive meals
with Gene's money. Shows how much THEY care about
me!"
She walked over to the dresser and picked up a small booklet
that had 'NEW TO BLUE HEAVEN?! Check out the BIGGEST and
BEST nighttime hotspots with this handy guide!' on the cover. She
began leafing through the pages. Suddenly a little phone thing
started beeping. She jumped up really fast. "I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT
I'LL GET IT!" She dashed over to the phone and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi there Suzuka! What's up?" said a WAY WAY too happy voice
on the other end.
"Fred? What do you want?" asked Suzuka.
"Not a lot. Is Gene around?" asked Fred.
"No. He's buying you a-um...a present." said Suzuka.
"A present?! Oh goody!" giggled Fred. "I love presents!"
"Um, yeah. So what are you doing in Kansadopia, Fred?" asked Suzuka.
"Oh, I packed my bags and left the other day because Shorton
kept BEGGING me to come!" said Fred.
"Oh, that's neat." said Suzuka. "Who's Shorton?"
"I'm not really sure...A nice fellow from Kansadopia I
suppose." said Fred uncertainly.
"Um...okay." said Suzuka. "Well, I'll se ya later Fred."
"Wait, don't hang up." said Fred. "I've got to ask you something."
Suzuka sighed and returned to the phone. "Look Fred, if this
is about that ONE time I made out with Aisha on national TV-"
"Actually, it is. Kind of. It's really more about Dave the
Sunglasses Guy." said Fred.
"Dave? Oh man, I haven't seen him in ages!" said Suzuka,
leaning back on the couch. "Where is that guy anyways?"
"I was hoping you could tell ME that." said Fred worriedly.
"You were the last person to see him, on your date remember?"
"Well...I don't really remember much of it. He ran over some
little kid or something and then all these villagers came and
kidnapped him. It all happened pretty fast." said Suzuka. "If I had
to make a guess, I'd say he was in prison."
"Oh, thanks for your help!" said Fred. "I just hope the poor
guy isn't TOO heartbroken when I tell him you chose Aisha over
him..."
"Hey, wait! Don't tell him that!" said Suzuka. "Arrange
another date for us!"
"See ya later!" said Fred, hanging up.
"STUPID FRED!" yelled Suzuka, kicking the phone. "He's the
worst! Now I know why you hate him so much, Gene!" She stopped.
"Crap, there's nobody here!"
It was a cold, unforgiving death day of sadness deep in
prison. The Anten...Seven (They finally accepted Tobeigera back into
their
ranks for mysterious reasons! Oooh!) plus Dave were sitting around in
a prison cell, passing time. Parcheesi was already getting
boring, as well as Monopoly, their various game systems, the
waterslide park, and the huge orgies. I don't really know how they
got
all that stuff in their prison cell, but whatever.
"You know, these prison walls are made of simple concrete."
said Leilong, feeling one of the prison walls. "We could probably
just
bust our way out of here with our magical tao powers."
"Good idea! Alright, everyone stand aside!" yelled Hamushi,
jumping into the middle of the room and conjuring up a huge death
ball of death. She stopped for a second. "That means you, Tobeigera."
"But I wanna die!" whined Tobeigera. "I must leave this
horrible, humorless universe! It is my wish!"
"Well too bad. We live in a cold, cold world where wishes
never ever come true." said Hamushi, casting a bitter look at Dave as
she said these words.
"Oh stop it. You know I hate it when you cast bitter looks at
me." said Dave.
"OH YEAH?! WELL I HATE IT WHEN YOU...um...well...DODGE THIS!"
yelled Hamushi casting her death ball of death at him.
"Okay." said Dave, dodging it. The ball zoomed past and
exploded a wall.
"Yay!" said Hazanko, skipping through the new hole. "It leads
right out to the parking lot! Let's find Kahn and our Geomancer and
get out of here!"
"Alright, let's get searching!" yelled Hanmyo. "Everybody split up!"
4 DAYS LATER
"That fruitcake bastard!" yelled Hazanko, running around in
the parking lot. "That withered old clam stole our Geomancer!" It was
true. There was no Geomancer to be found. He raised his fists to the
heavens. "Damn you, Kahn! I regret ever letting you borrow my
girlfriend for that one really great slow dance at the senior prom!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS CRIME WITH YOUR BLOOD!"
"Now now, Hazanko." said Hitoriga. "Let's not get hysterical.
The most sensible thing in this situation would be to notify him on
his
cell phone and politely request he return our ship before we resort
to measures of that drastic natu-"
"FOOL! YOU DARE SPEAK WHEN LORD HAZANKO IS SWEARING
REVENGE?!" yelled Hazanko.
"Yes. I mean yes. Er, no." said Hitoriga. "I mean yes. Wait,
no. Whatever."
"YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" said Hazanko smugly. "Hamushi,
call Kahn on your cell phone."
"Batteries need to recharge." said Hamushi.
"Okay then. Jukei." said Hazanko.
"I don't have any pockets in my straitjacket." said Jukei.
"Leilong?" asked Hazanko.
"I left mine back in the prison cell." shrugged Leilong.
"Hanmyo?"
"What's a cell phone?" asked Hanmyo.
"BAH! YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL USELESS!" yelled Hazanko, slamming
his fist on a wall.
"Hey, you forgot to ask me to use MY cell phone." said Hitoriga.
"Okay then, use your cell phone and call Kahn!" said Hazanko
excitedly.
"I can't. I'm expecting a call." said Hitoriga.
"GOD DAMN YOU!" yelled Hazanko.
"We'll take the biggest and coolest dog you have." said Gene.
"It'd be cool if he was a robot." said Aisha.
"A green one." said Jim.
"This is a fast food place." said the guy behind the register.
"I know, I'm just rehearsing for the real thing." said Gene.
"I'll have 3 chili dogs."
"Oh, okay." said the guy.
"I'll have a grape triple sticky heart damage milkshake!"
said Aisha, jumping up and down with glee.
"I'll have a happy meal!" said Jim. Gene and Aisha snorted
and laughed at him. "I mean, I'll have a sad meal."
"All our meals are sad meals." said the register guy.
"Then I'll take them all!" said Jim.
"Uh...Do you really think you can eat all that, Jim?" asked Gene.
"Of course I can! I'm an adult now!" said Jim.
"That's not really the point." said Aisha. "Not even Gene
Shalit could eat all that food."
"Oh yeah?! Well maybe I'm more ADULT than Gene Shalit! Ever
think of that?!" yelled Jim, freaking out for no real reason.
"...No." said Aisha.
"I KNEW IT!" yelled Jim. He whirled around to face the guy
behind the register. "And I'll have a happy meal prize to go with my
ULTRA ADULT lunch! The new set of Spy Kids toys are out!"
"Oh man, not this again." sighed Gene. "Why is it that
whenever we go somewhere with Jim, he starts acting all 'adult'?"
"I think it's cute!" giggled Aisha.
"Aisha, no. We're not in the original Outlaw Star series
anymore, you don't have to flirt with Jim and weave Jim-loving
subconcious
messages into everything you say anymore. We don't TOLERATE
pedophilia in this wholesome kinda-sequel!" said Gene happily.
"But...I...Alright." said Aisha sadly.
"Everyone get BACK! IN! THE! CAR! I'm gonna get us to the pet
store in FIFTEEN MINUTES FLAT!" yelled Jim with a mouthful of fish
sandwich.
"Um, forget it." said Gene. "Fifteen minutes? You'd have to
drive approximately 4570 mph to get us there that fast."
"Exactly! Hop in!" said Jim gleefully, running into the
parking lot. He stared at the driver's side door. "Uh, Gene? Can you
give me a
boost?"
"Sure." said Gene, picking him up and putting him in the seat.
"Thanks!" yelled Jim. "And now it's time to BURN! SOME!
RUBBER!" He shifted the car into reverse.
"Are you insane?!" yelled Gene, getting into the front
passenger's seat. "You're an underage driver! You could get into HUGE
trouble! Also, we're in a residential zone!"
"I'm not a little kid anymore Gene! I can handle this!" yelled Jim.
"Hey, what's all the poppin fresh?" asked Aisha, walking out
of the fast food place holding a huge bowl of fry grease with a straw
stuck in it.
"Jim's going to kill us all!" whined Gene.
"I am not!" said Jim, kicking Gene.
"I have faith in Jim!" said Aisha, getting in the backseat.
"He can do anything he sets his mind to, because he's SUCH a manly
adult!"
"Aisha, what did I tell you about flirting with Jim?" asked Gene.
"Ah yeah. Sorry about that." said Aisha, taking a slurp from
her bowl of fry grease.
"....Is that a bowl of grease?" asked Gene.
"Yes sir it is." said Aisha happily, taking another slurp.
"Isn't that kind of...fattening?" asked Gene.
"Nah. The Ctarl Ctarl's SUPER METABOLISM POWER makes us
invulnerable to fattening!" said Aisha with pride.
"Alright, everyone buckle up! We're in for a BUMPY RIDE!"
yelled Jim, peeling out of the parking lot.
"Thanks for the warning, retard." said Gene, rubbing his
now-bruised head and fastening his seatbelt. "This is a bad idea.
Look,
can't you slow down a little bit? You're gonna hit someone- Yeah.
See, what did I tell you?"
"Psh. That chick looked pretty healthy. I'm sure she's fine."
said Jim, checking the rearview mirror.
"Her severed head is smeared on our windshield." Gene pointed out.
"Maybe she was part cockroach. Those guys can live without
their head for 2 weeks, you know." said Jim.
"Just how fast were you going? It looked to me like she
exploded on impact." asked Aisha.
"Aisha, shut up and eat your grease." said Jim.
"I'm getting kind of sick though...It's kind of gross stuff."
said Aisha.
"EAT IT ANYWAY!" yelled Jim, frustrated.
Aisha looked frightened. "Jim, what has happened to you?
You're so different...You're nothing like the Jim I fell in love
with!"
"God dammit Aisha!" said Gene.
It was a dark and stormy night on Blue Heaven. Actually, the
skies were pretty clear. Excellent stargazing conditions, if you ask
me.
But anyways, the Anten Seven and Dave were walking around in the big,
bustling city and trying to decide what to do next.
"Okay, so we're stuck on this stupid asteroid thing without a
spaceship." said Hazanko. "What's the first course of action to deal
with this problematic situation?"
"Get really drunk and forget the whole thing?" asked Dave.
"Exactly." said Hazanko. "Let's find a car to hotwire so we
can examine the local nightlife!"
"Here's a Ford." said Hamushi. "I'm sure no one will miss it."
"I certainly wouldn't." agreed Hazanko, disgusted. "However,
it's a bit small. We need something that can hold all of us, like a
minivan or something."
"I found one I found one!" yelled Tobeigera, jumping up and
down in front of a minivan.
"But...It has wood paneling! UUGGGGHH!" said Jukei in disgust.
"It'll have to do." said Hazanko. "Everone climb in, we're
going for a ride!"
"I get the back! I get the back!" yelled Hitoriga.
"No, I want the back!" yelled Jukei, scrambling into the car.
"You guys can BOTH get in the back." sighed Hazanko. "It's a
3-person seat."
"Woohoo!" yelled Hitoriga, high fiving Jukei. Since Jukei's
Arm was strapped to his side, the high five was just Hitoriga
smacking
Jukei in the face. It was pretty damn funny.
"Everyone buckle the heck up cause LEILONG, MASTER OF THE
HIGHWAY, is officially driving!" yelled Leilong, hopping into the
driver's seat.
"No. Get out." said Hazanko. "You're the worst driver in the
whole universe."
"Oh come ON!" whined Leilong. "I'm perfectly fine so long as
I don't have to paralell park! Or reverse. Or turn. Or stop
accelerating."
Hazanko sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine, fine. Since
you're the only one of us with a license, you can drive. But you'd
better
not screw this up."
"You can count on me!" said Leilong happily. "Someone smart,
hotwire this thingy so we can get out of here!"
"I took Hotwiring 101 in high school, let me handle it." said
Dave. He walked over to the minivan, popped the hood and got to work.
"Hang on...wait a second..." He pointed to a small wire in the care
that looked clipped. "Somebody cut the brakes on this thing. I
don't think it's safe to use this car."
"Psh, who cares? I never use the brakes anyway." said
Leilong. "Just hurry up and get in, whoever's car this is left their
keys in the
ignition!"
"Wow, what a stroke of luck!" said Hazanko happily. "Everyone
pile in!" They very, very slowly backed out of the parking lot and
started driving through the big city. If you listened closely, you
could hear the song "Summer In The City" by Lovin' Spoonful playing
in the background. Hey, speaking of Lovin' Spoonful....
"This is miserable." said Ron crabbily, driving his car on a
stretch of Blue Heaven highway. "Melfina, are you sure you copied
down
BabyKillerTron's directions right?"
"Yep, positive. 'Drive on Highway 89 for a while. Bleep
bleep. Then head off into Exit 597. There, you'll find the SECRET
ACCURSED MONSTER HEAD OF THE APOCALYPSE! Bleep. I just spilled my
fucking coffee. God dammit.' That's all he told me."
said Melfina.
"I'm gonna miss that BabyKillerTron." sighed Harry. "He was
so sincere about everything he did...I always really admired that
about
him."
"What did he do? Did he even DO anything?" asked Ron.
"Uh...He killed some babies and stuff." said Harry. "But he
did it with such sincerity..."
"Uh oh, Bumps Ahead." said Ron, reading off a road sign.
"Better buckle up, you guys...."
MEANWHILE, ON THE SAME STRETCH OF HIGHWAY
"Bumps ahead?" asked Jim, barely being able to read the road
sign as it sped past his head at light speed. "JIM FEARS NO
BUMPS! SEATBELTS OFF, EVERYONE!"
"Jim, can you slow down even a little? I'm gonna be sick..."
moaned Aisha.
"What's that, Aisha?! Did you say...SPEED UP?" asked Jim
rhetorically, flattening the gas pedal and driving even faster.
"Aisha, it's that grease you keep eating." said Gene. "Just
dump that crap out the window and see if you can hold the projectile
vomiting until we make it to a rest station."
BACK AT THE MACDOUGALLS CAR "Hey, what's that car up ahead?" asked Harry. "Wow, they're
going fast!"
"Hey, that's Gene Starwind's car!" said Harry, amazed.
"Wonder what old Gener's doing way out here?"
"What's that bowl they're dumping out the window?" wondered
Melfina. "Is that grease?"
"Yeah right. Like Gene Starwind would be hauling around a
huge bowl of grease in his ca-AAAAAAH!" started Ron, but he finished
in a scream because their car began slipping on the spilled grease.
"I...I can't control it!" stuttered Ron as the car slipped
off the road.
"Your hands aren't even on the steering wheel!" Melfina pointed out.
"Oh. Oh yeah." said Ron, but it was already too late. They
were off road and rolling the car over and over again down a huge
hill.
"I hope there's not a river or something at the bottom!"
yelled Ron over the deafening noise.
"I don't think there is!" said Harry.
"Oh, good." said Ron calmly. "We don't have to worry about a
thing then." The car bumped and crunched down the rest of the hill
until it finally came to rest at the bottom.
"Woohoo!" laughed Ron, pumping his fist in the air.
"GET OUT OF THE CAR! GET OUT OF THE CAR!" yelled Melfina.
"Why? We're safe! Yeehaw!" chuckled Ron. He grabbed the
steering wheel. "Let's get back on the highway!"
Melfina yanked him out of the car mere seconds before it
exploded in a horrible fireball. "Wow! It's so pretty!" remarked
Harry.
"Reminds me of back in high school, when I blew up your car in a
horrible fireball."
"Ah yes, those were the days." said Ron happily.
"You guys are both maniacs." said Melfina. She looked around
at at the barren, desolate landscape they crashed in. No sign of life
all around, not even a dead tree. The wind whistled across the
featureless landscape and the cracked ground beneath their feet. It
was seemingly colored entirely in greyscale, it was so melancholy.
"Just where the heck are we?"
"Apparently we're in some writer's corny scene description."
said Ron. "Let's get out of here, fast."
"Let's get back to the highway and hitch hike." said Harry,
turning around. "It should be just up that hill we fell...?" Everyone
paused
and stared behind them. There was no hill there at all, just the same
endless, featureless desolate wasteland. They looked all
around them for some sign of the hill, but it was gone.
"What the hell?!" yelled Melfina. "The hill's gone! Where the
fuck...How did we get here?"
"Shhh! There's children present!" said Ron. "Harry's very
impressionable, so you don't want to-"
"Haha! What a funny word! Fuck fuck fuck!" laughed Harry.
"Fuck fuck fuck! Haha! Fuck! Say it with me everyone! FUCK!"
"Fuck!" said Melfina, joining in the fun.
"Both of you, shut up." said Ron quickly. "Apparently we've
fallen into some kind of crazy time rift or something, and now we're
in
some kind of alternate really scary dimension. Or maybe it's part of
some ancient curse...That we fell into a carefully designed trap
in the form of that bumpy part of the highway."
"Ron, are we trapped in a Stephen King novel?" asked Harry,
terrified.
"Don't be stupid Harry. If we were, this dimension would be
like 6,000 pages long." said Ron, like Harry was the biggest idiot in
the
world.
"That doesn't really make any sense...." said Melfina.
"Shut up!" said Ron. "Now then, the first step to our
survival is to find shelter."
"Well, there's a big scary house sitting right there." said
Harry. He pointed to a small, two-story house. It was really trashy
looking
and messed up, and all around scary. "I say we split up and search
the house for people and/or supplies." Apparently Harry has no
expereience with any horror movies at all.
"Good plan. I'll check the basement." said Melfina.
"I'll look around in the attic." said Ron.
"I'll check around the toolshed once it gets dark." said
Harry. They walked up to the house and walked inside.
"Do we need to turn on the lights?" asked Melfina.
"Pfff. Do we need to turn on the lights!" said Ron mockingly.
"What, you think some psychotic maniac is going to jump out of
nowhere, tie us up and subject us to a horrible brand of torture?"
"Yes." said Melfina. Then a psychotic maniac jumped out of
nowhere, tied them up, and prepared to subject them to a horrible
brand of torture.............
"...So the retarded Dutchman says to the schizophrenic midget
rabbi: 'Oh YEAH, well I had fucked your momma UP THE ASS!'"
laughed Tobeigera.
"That's not funny." said Hamushi. "Not at all. Not even close."
"Yeah. Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand that class
of high brow humor." sighed Tobeigera. The Anten Seven and Dave
were hanging out at a local dance club. They were scoping the chicks
and talking to each other about random stuff.
"Dude, I dare you to ask that girl over there." said Jukei
with a chuckle.
Hitoriga looked at the girl Jukei was indicating. "Dude, no
way! She's way out of my league! YOU ask her!"
"No, you!" said Jukei in an overly whiny voice.
"If you guys are going to be such pansies about this, I'll
ask her myself." said Leilong. He walked over to the girl. "Excuse
me, can I
strangle you?"
"Dude! He actually asked her!" said Jukei, amazed.
"She's nodding! What's that mean?" wondered Hitoriga.
"Now she's kicking him in the face! And the stomach! Man, do
you think she'll say yes?" asked Jukei.
"Alright, screw this." said Hazanko. "You guys are rejects.
I'm going out on the dance floor." He walked out to the middle of the
dance floor. "Wait a second, and you guys are joining me!"
"What?!" yelped Dave, but before he or the rest of the Anten
guys could argue, Hazanko had mind controled them and forced them
to join him in dancing an EXACT replica of Michael Jackson's
Thriller. Just picture this. Isn't that the most totally sick ass
thing of all
time? If I experienced seeing the Anten people doing Thriller, I
think my head might explode from the sheer awesomeness of it all.
In fact, that's what started happening to the people in the club so
they had to stop. Sucks.
"Fine then, let's go back to our SIMPLE, boring lives."
sighed Hazanko.
"Hey, that girl over there keeps looking at me!" said
Hitoriga happily. "Think I've got a chance?"
Jukei stared long and hard at the girl, then back at
Hitoriga. "Not to offend your manliness, but I think she's only
looking at you
because you have a sack on your head."
"...Screw you. I'm gonna go talk to her." said Hitoriga,
standing up and wading through the throng of dancing people to the
girl. "Hey
there gorgeous, what's a beautiful thing like you doing in a place
like this?"
"That pickup line only works if you're in a really trashy
bar. This is the hottest and ritziest club in town." said Suzuka.
"What? Suzuka!" said Hitoriga.
"I was trying to get out of here before you noticed me. What
do you want? I've got other clubs to waste Gene's money on." said
Suzuka.
"Um...nothing important." said Hitoriga, flustered.
"Well, if it's not important then I'm leaving. See you
around." said Suzuka, turning to the door.
"Wait!" yelled Hitoriga, grabbing her arm. "Why did you make
out with that Ctarl girl on universal TV?! What about my feeli-"
"ACK! LET GO OF ME!" yelled Suzuka.
"Just hear me out!" demanded Hitoriga. "Do you really hate me
so much, that you would tear my heart to pieces in front of trillions
of-"
"RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!" yelled Suzuka. "SOMEBODY HELP, HE'S
TRYING TO RAPE ME!"
"No I'm not! I'd never do something so horrib-" started Hitoriga.
"RAPE! SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS! AGH, WHAT ARE YOU- OH MY GOD,
IT HURTS! NO! NO! OW OW OW OW! SOMEONE
PLEASE SAVE ME!" yelled Suzuka.
"....I don't know why I even try to have a decent
conversation with you when you always scream that I'm trying to rape
you." said
Hitoriga exasperatedly.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DUCT TAPE! AGH! NO! WHO ARE
THEY?! OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU HORRIBLE GUYS
GOING TO DO TO ME? KEEP AWAY FROM ME WITH THOSE FISH HOOKS! OH
PLEASE, SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW AND SPARE
ME FROM THE PAIN I'M SURE TO EXPERIENCE IN A FEW MINUTES!" yelled
Suzuka, almost pleading.
Dude, gross. I just sneezed, and now there's like mucus all
over my monitor. I'm not kidding. It's really disgusting. Crap, I did
it
again. Nwo it's cakde itssssself in my keybord adn its mkaing it
harrrd too tpye. Haha, tricked you. But wouldn't that be sick though?
Anyways, then some security guys grabbed Hitoriga and threw
him out of the club...................
"Arf arf!" said a dog in the backseat of Jim's car.
"Well, that was easy enough." said Gene happily. "We bought a
new dog for Fred, and now all we have to do is take it home and
leave it on his doorstep."
Jim got into the car and revved the engine. "So Fred won't
kill us and make me into a huge yaoi fan now?"
"Nope, we should be fine now." said Aisha happily as Jim
backed the car out of the pet store's parking lot. "That is, if
nothing goes
wrong...."
NEXT EPISODE: SOMETHING GOES WRONG!
-------------
And that's that for this episode, everyone. Didn't I finish
this one quickly? Aren't you all impressed? I can work hard if I
really want
to. Having a 4-day weekend helps too. Well, see you guys later in the
next episode of...THE PARTY SHIP! THE MOST PARTYIN'
STORY IN THE GALAXY!
Jet: CHANGE YOUR DAMN SLOGAN!