RU
If I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the sounds that acompany the sceneary around Cheyenne Mountain I can almost believe that I am just having a bad dream. That when I wake up I'll be in my own bed, with my Wife beside me and my son down the hall, I'll turn to Sam and wake her wih gentle kisses running up her neck, and we'll make love in the early morrning hours. I'll touch evey spot I've managed to memorize over the past 2 years, eliciting a more fevored response with each carress - "Are you well John?" Teal'c asks breaking me from my reverie and bringing me back to the reality that I don't belong in. I sigh long and gruff. "Yeah T, I'm well." I let the moment steep in silence. listening to the Crickets and occasional Owl. I let my mind wander and my thoughts disturb me 'What if I never get to go home? What if I have to stay here for the rest of my life will that Entrophy Castrade Failure thing Kill me? I'll never get to Charlie I'm sorry.' "Teal'c""Yes John"
"How is Sam?"
"Samantha Carter says that she is well."
I looked up at him and met his eyes daring him to lie to me about the one person that really mattered to me in this world.
"I believe her to be under an amazing amount of mental, physical and emotional strain. She is working very hard to try and understand what occurred to cause you and Colonel O'Neill to replace one another in your individual realities."
I continue to stare at him.
"And she fears that any child she may have conceived with you will not be able to withstand the affects of having 2 different entropic signatures."
I looked away then and stared at the trees. "I need to see her T".
"That is not possible John"
"No-one knows her like I do Teal'c, I can help her focus, know when she's reached her limits and I know how to help her recover fastest." ' Plus I need to see her, so I can have at least something of what I've lost if I can't get my family back, she's all I've got.'
"Will not seeing you increase her emotional distress over losing Colonel O'Neill?"
"I can guarantee it won't, come on, you gotta get me in to see her. Let me at least speak to the General about it."
At 1600 Hours Major Sam Carter threw a slide plate across the room which shattered against the far wall. She then put her hands over her eyes and shed a few therapeutic Tears.
At the Same time General George Hammond invited 'John' into his office.
"Sit down John" The general sounded tired and irritated
"General."
"I'll cut to the chase, we destroyed the quantum mirror in the first place to avoid situations like this, as soon as we get this whole thing resolved we're locking PRX-198 out of the dialing computer. "
"George, Sam needs- "
"Let Me finish." He walked around his desk and leaned against it facing me. " I know that Jack O'Neill would never do anything to hurt Sam Carter. What I don't know is . . if you 'John'" He said with emphasis. "Can handle being around Sam knowing that she is NOT your wife, can you keep from hurting her just by reminding her of all the things that she can't have?"
"I know I can General." He looked at me hard, as if trying to test my sincerity. "But why can't she have them? "
"Son you know very well the Regulations that prohibit--"
"Our general Hammond found a way. He split up our duties so that they were peers but not in the same chain of command. Sam wanted to try to have a baby anyway so going off world less didn't really bother her. And her not being on SG-1 probably saved our Daniels life. I don't know what obstacles are in your way that my general didn't, He can't be happy without her. Without Charlie, without Sara, without Sam, No Daniel , just a big empty house and no one."
I looked to the general , his eyes unmoving locked on me. "I now how empty I felt when Sara died, I can only imagine that your Jack shut down like I did when he lost Charlie, I can't even imagine that , but I know how I feel now, the possibility now of never seeing them again, never being able to hold Sam again, never seeing Charlie again, I feel bad enough just missing his last game. . . Sam can get insecure ya know, since her dad died since her brother stopped talking to her for taking his side in the end, trying to make them reconcile before it was too late."
In her lab Sam got up and went to clean up the shattered slide.
"None of those events happened here, Major Carter is one of the most confident and competent officers I've ever had the pleasure to serve with. I sincerely doubt that she's as fragile as you make her out to be."
I stared at him, Sam's dad was alive. A part of me wanted to demand to see him, if he was alive here why wasn't he alive in my reality. "Why did my Sam have to lose her father if there was a way to save him."
As Sam picked up a large piece of the slide, it slid into her finger cutting deeply and allowing the dirt from the planet into her blood stream.
"You're dealing with a lot Jack.. John. I'm going to authorize you to see Sam, but you will be monitored at all times." If there is any indication of her stress level increasing you will be restricted from her. "
"Yes Sir" I said, I was happier that I got to see Sam, but I wasn't sure how to deal with all the new information I was getting from this alternate world. It seemed to me that here between this Sam and Jack, Jack had gotten Royally Screwed, and he was more closed off as a result. Sam had had at least a few better things happen to her and was much stronger person, she still wanted Her Jack, but maybe she didn't need him.
Sam pulled the piece of glass from her finger and quickly washed it off in her sink. It was deep and needed stitches so he headed for the infirmary.
I left to meet Teal'c and head to Sam's lab. When we got there she had gone, then I noticed the broken glass and blood by the far wall. Sam was hurt I realize and silly things like the small amount of blood and a proportional response completely escape my mind. I've already lost so much, I can't lose her too. I burst past Teal'c and ran to the Infirmary.
"Sorry to bother you with this Janet, it's small but deep."
"There is some dirt in it so we'll have to irrigate, how did you get dirt in a cut you got in your lab?"
"I was studying the Mineral composition of the dirt the c .. John brought back from PRX-198"
"Ah, Alien Dirt, we'd better run a full physical analysis on you then."
Sam rolled her eyes just as John rushed into the infirmary positioning himself immediately beside her in a somewhat possessive manner with a hand around her back and his eyes and free hand searching her for injuries.
"Sam are you okay, I saw the blood in your lab."
"I'm fine" He pulled her head to him and kissed her forehead while wrapping his arms around her. It was a moment before he realized what he was doing and backed away slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry about that, I was just worried about you." Sam for her part wasn't sure how to respond, she Knew that this man wasn't the Jack she wanted but she couldn't help but respond to him.
"It's okay, It's just my finger, serves me right for getting mad at my microscope." she responded slightly flushed.
'Is she flirting?' John mused to himself.
The next half hour began with John being kicked out while Sam was subjected to a full physical and her finger obtained stitches. HE was let back in once Sam was dressed and the test results were back.
"As far as I can tell there is nothing wrong the Dirt from the slide did get into your blood stream causing trace amounts of some unusual metals and a slight elevation in hormone levels, nothing harmful. I'd like to keep a close eye on you so I don't want you leaving base, but you are welcome to go back to your lab, but please no more flying glass or alien substances."
"Yes Ma'am" Sam responded smartly.
She rose and Jack escorted her back to the lab.
AU
Daniel caught Sam working Late in the Lab.
"How are things going." He asked from the Doorway.
"Well enough I suppose, a little stressful, I got the Mirror Yesterday and I've at least been able to determine that when turned on it has a unique energy signature that seems to encompass a broad band of entropic frequencies the shifts are very subtle. And when I ran a current through the dirt from the planet that it emanated a very similar energy signature."
"That's good right." Daniel asked questioningly.
"Well, it means that coming in contact with a subspace conduit such as the Stargate most likely caused the jack that arrived here to switch places with the one that left, the only crutial factor would be that they would have to enter the stargate at exactly the same moment and they would have to be covered with enough of the planet's dirt to cause the cross-connect of the 2 realities."
"Well then you've figured it out."
"right, how it probably happened. But that doesn't get us any closer to getting Jack back."