Over the Edge
Chapter 4
By aznJEDI13
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns all, no doubt about that. This story belongs to me.
Note: I've finally decided on a time frame. We last saw our beloved couple when Anakin was 18 and Amidala was 23, almost 24. Now, three years later, our heroes meet again. Fate has brought them together once more. It is suggested that you read the "The Deep End" first.
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'…But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights,
If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same…'
Several weeks later...
The room was spinning. Colors intermixed with other colors as lights flashed and blinked together. Light streamed in odd places as weird aliens brushed against his back in a rude manner. Darkness loomed in and out of his blurred vision as his head swayed back and forth.
An eerie feeling washed over his features and suddenly he felt tingles on his brawn body. The cynical bar tender filled his cup as voices loomed in his ears in dialects he didn't understand and sounds that he hadn't heard before.
Maliciousness roamed here, vengeance thrived here, and pain succumbed here. Many came to drown in despair, to wallow in pity, to drink in their sorrows. Several times, he had given into the darkness and later found himself on the streets.
He was a terrible drunk, Obi-wan had always said, but that didn't matter. It didn't easy the pain, but it didn't make it any harder either. It was better this way he had convinced himself.
Criminals lurked through here, going from trader to trader, off-worlder to off-worlder, in search of a place to hide in trade for uncommon information.
He fit right in here.
Having been sent into exile years ago, he made his home here. He sleep in an empty building upstairs, kept his dark cap over his dirty blonde hair and spent his afternoons and evenings with a half empty bottle, swaying to an unknown tune.
He enjoyed losing control, if just for a split second.
Ever since the temple had been destroyed, he hadn't had a real place to call home and he certainly didn't have a way to afford a new place.
Many had swayed, countered, and fallen to his master's malice. Many had been betrayed and blinded by the dreary deception of the darkside. Many had met the force at the hand and blade of his barbarous master.
Those that had survived fled and those that hadn't, sent into exile by the crumbling republic. Mace Windu, at the brink of his own passing, had held his hand and begged for forgiveness. Saying he had passed judgement on him without ever trying to know the inner soul of that blue eyed boy. And Yoda, as he took his last breath, still pointed his finger saying, "Great things, I see for you."
Never had he cried that much, so much that his body had wracked in sobs and his spirit fatigued to the point he had felt dead inside. He didn't remember ever crying so much that it felt like he was dry, as if he had poured the last of his soul and now it had all disappeared.
Never, for as long as he could remember, had he cried as much as he had in those horrific days.
Once, he had cried in the delicate arms of his mother and she had soothed his soul. Once, he had cried in the gentle limbs of Padme and she had comforted his aching heart. However, at that time, for first time both were gone and when he had broken down and crumbled inside, no one had been there to sooth his soul, comfort his aching heart, ease the ever growing pain, and he had continued to ache until he was empty and could hurt no more.
He was all alone.
And he had lost everyone he loved and cared for deeply.
He had held Marina's body to his chest and his composure had crumbled in front his very eyes. Her blood had stained his tunic, as her eyes had been forever open in shock as her pale skin turned white. A rich, red liquid had flowed down from her mouth as her lifeless fingers singled her death.
He had pulled the metal that impaled her out of her side, had tried to heal her with his touch of the force. But still, her fingers would not move, her eyelids would not close, and her skin would not receive back its normal color, he could not revive her.
Pressing her body to his chest, he had screamed in agony, over the grotesque horror that lay before him and his cries of anguish soon were the only sounds heard.
She had died in his arms.
He had stood in the field where every slain Jedi had been brought. He had cradled many, his friends, his mentors, and his teachers to his breast and he had cried in torment and anger at it all.
He hated his master, for all he had done, but found that no matter what he still loved that vile creature.
And so, he spent many hours here. Drinking, drowning himself in the neverending misery that plagued him. Here was the only place that cured his insomnia, that numbed the distill pain and ever lasting anger.
Here was the only place that he could be someone else and still be himself.
Dex, a sometimes sadistic bartender, having once owned a diner, continued to pour drinks his way. Dex had been a mutal friend, through Obi-wan of all people, and he had tended to Anakin all those nights he had slept alone on the street. Both of them suffered from the same torment that threatened their sanity and played in their dreams.
Dreams of his master and those horrid atrocities.
"Ya want 'nother drink, boy?" Dex asked from across the counter.
Anakin's head pulsed, but he ignored it. Nodding to the man across the way, he took a huge sip of the glass placed before him.
"Not too much 'ow, Darklighter." The bartender grunted at the end as he poured another drink for someone else. "I'm not carryin' ya upstair."
Anakin swayed slightly, "Up to my humble abode, won't you Dex? You know you wanna go."
One of his six arms, moved as he laughed cynically, "Got a wife an' seven kids dere 'member, Jag?" He reached over with another arm and touch Anakin's, "You still a here, Jag?"
Through his blurred vision, he could tell whom the husky voice belonged to, "Just finnnneeee, Deeeexxxxx."
The other man laughed, "Eeny one eva tell ya, ya a lousee drunk, Jag an' 'n even worse lyer?"
He laughed befuddled, swaying more now, "Only in the morning."
The other man laughed and look over to the person next to Anakin, "Can I help ya, lady?"
She nodded, timidly, her voice slightly hushed, but even through his drunken state, Anakin could clearly hear the voice as it articulated words and let sound roll off her tongue, "Yes," She replied, "A glass of water, please?"
Dex laughed slightly and reached for a glass, promptly filling it with water, "Here you go." He smiled at her, "On the house."
"Thank you." The voice replied, sipping slightly.
Dex looked at Anakin and winked, smiling back at the petite figure. She smiled at him slightly and then pushed a stray strand on hair back behind her ear, "You're new here." The bartender observed, "What's your name?"
"Padme," She annunciated, glaring daggers at Anakin, and then back at Dex, "Padme Amidala."
Anakin laughed slightly, it was a slurred laugh though, one that made Dex chuckle, "Forgive dear ol' Jag here, he's had one too many to drink."
She smiled sweetly and if Anakin had seen her smile he would have cringed, "Jag is it?" She laughed more cynically, "I thought you were someone else."
He turned toward her, eyes drunkenly connecting with hers and for the first time in a long time blue and brown met. He held out his hand and tipped his cap with his extra hand, "General Jag Darklighter, at your service, ma'am."
She took the hand, glancing at him curiously, "Padme Amidala." Her brows creased in consternation; "You're a lousy drunk for a general." She mused, observing his tipsy state.
He shook his head, dropping her hand and placing both arms on the counter as he looked away from her, "I don't got a job no more, ma'am, the republic's dead." He turned back to her with a look that made her shiver, "In case you forgotten."
She reached out and placed her hand on the inside of his arm, "Ana- Jag," She paused, "What are you doing here?"
He laughed sadistically, "Drowning in my sorrows, what else?"
Her brows creased more; "I've been looking all over for you." She replied, her soft voice, just barely above a whisper, "When they said the temple had been destroyed, I had been so afraid." She bit her lip, "I thought you were dead."
His eyes bore into hers once more before he shook his head, swaggering back and forth, "I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am. I'm here, aren't I?"
She closed her eyes sadly and pulled away, "Thanks for the drink, Dex, I'll see you around."
One of his arms came into contract with her small hand. She looked up to see the six-armed creature before her and his eyes met, "Say, Padme Amidala, eh? You the one that's…"
She watched out of the corner of her eye as Anakin closed his eyes and leaned farther into the counter. She closed her eyes briefly also. Her feeling going haywire at these sudden emotions and she found herself feeling very distraught, "Yes," she replied finally, "That's me." She smiled sweetly at Dex once more, "Rain check, right Dex?"
He nodded as she left, looking at Anakin who was now staring at the counter. "Stup'd boy," He muttered.
Anakin's head shot up, his brows creased on confusion, "Dex?"
"Well, ya not gonna go 'fter her?" He laughed as Anakin shot up and out of the building.
"Padme wait!" He called his head still spinning slightly and his vision still a little blurred. But clearly he saw her shoulder-hunch figure and he ran after her until she turned to face him.
"Anakin." She gasped slightly at the site of his figure when he had caught up with her.
"Jag." He corrected, looking at her with an unwavering gaze; "My name is Jag."
She laughed at his demeanor, at the tone of his voice, at the sound of the name he chose to call himself, "Yes, whatever."
He grabbed her arm, "Padme," His eyes bore into hers, "Yes, its me, but," He paused, "I can't be Anakin anymore."
She tried to pull away, but her eyes never left his, "Why not?"
"A lot has happened." He mused, releasing her and turning away.
She nodded, "I know." She pressed on towards him, "Tell me, please?"
He shook his head, his back still to her, "You wouldn't understand." He stopped briefly, "I've seen things that I wouldn't wish for another to view."
Reaching for his arm, "Try me." She paused, "The rebellion needs you, why won't you come?"
"I can't." He paused, "I will not fight my master."
"He's not your master anymore, Ana-Jag!" She cried, "I was there, remember? I've always been there. It's not pretty, Ani," She paused, trying to blink back the tears that threatened her eyes, "He's more machine then man. He's a monster!"
He twisted on his heel to face her, "No," He glared his eyes into hers, "No." His eyes began to seethe with rage and his nostrils flared, "My master may be maimed, but he is still a man and no matter how cold his heart is or how grotesque he appears." He paused, eyes glaring into hers; "He will never be a monster."
She shook her head, pointing a finger at him, "You're wrong." She spat, "He destoryed everything! Days after he escaped, remember? He destroyed the Jedi temple. He murdered hundreds of your kind and deceived more," She looked away briefly, "How can he not be a monster?"
His back hunched and he turned away from her. Not allowing her to see into his eyes, to see into his very soul. To see that he knew she was right.
"The republic has crumbled, General." She spoke, "It is no more." Her eyes narrowed, "The Empire is seizing control of the galaxy. Everything is in torment."
He shook his head furiously; "I will not take a side."
"Then you will continue to sit and rot in this hellhole on your lazy ass and waste the gifts that the gods deemed you and the force required of you." She shook her head, "I thought you were better than this, Anakin."
Turning back to her, his eyes narrowed, "My name is Jag." He looked away, "The Jedi are gone. There is no force."
"You've changed, Ani." She mused, closing her eyes, "I wasted all those kisses on you, I wasted all those times I said I love you." She paused, "You aren't the man I thought you were." She laughed, "Whatever happened to that little boy that wanted to be a Jedi?"
"Change is inevitable Padme," He closed his eyes, "You should know that by now." He paused, "Nothing matters anymore. Everything is gone – gone forever."
She reached forward and touched his brow, "I've learned that lesson, Ani, nothing you say or do will change that. But I thought you were different, I thought when you said you loved me, I thought when you kissed me, you meant it. I thought you were different from everyone else." She shrugged, "I was wrong. I believed you when you said I mattered, I was wrong."
He closed his eyes and then opened them, ignoring the daggers that wanted to pierce his heart, "Are you sure you're not the one that needs me," He paused, "Not the republic?"
She bit her lip, her eyes narrowing in anger; "You're a lousy drunk, Ani."
She turned on her heel and fled, Anakin watched her and left with nothing else to say, he called out, "Jag! My name is Jag!" When she didn't turned around, he cursed his own incompetence. "Sithspit!" He called, kicking a nearby barrel, "Oh, blast it!"
He crumbled to the ground, her words echoing through his mind.
You're a lousy drunk, Ani.
What had he done?
To be continued…
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