I owe everyone a BIG apology!

I am SO sorry I haven't updated this in...six months. I will NEVER do something like this again, I promise. In fact, I have the next chapter all written out. I just need to type it up, which I'll probably do in a week or so. I'll be on vacation starting Monday for a week, and I'll have time to write, but not type. ;)

Thank you SO much to all you guys who have continued to review this story...even when I didn't update it for awhile. I hope you all like this chapter.

Please read and review....(phew, it feels good to update this thing!)

Without further ado...

He had lost her. Again.

That was the only thought running through Ross's head.

Five or ten minutes after she had left, Ross's eyes turned towards the envelope Rachel left on the night table. Feeling saddened by her departure, and a bit like a mischievous child about to discover withheld information, he reached for the envelope.

His fingers gingerly traced the outer edges of it. As his trembling hands worked to open it, Ross couldn't help but think that Rachel's lips had graced the paper as she licked it shut. Her hands had written his name across the front.

There it was, in almost childlike printing: Ross.

Little did he know how much that name meant to her...little did he know how much she truly cared.

When the envelope was open, a small piece of paper fluttered out, a thicker one following it. Ross turned his attention to the large piece of paper first. As he freed it from its many creases, a small gasp flew from his throat. It was a letter from Rachel.

Ross-

I don't know what to say. I know that if you're reading this letter, then I have left again. I suppose then that I could start with sorry...You're a really great guy, Ross; one of the best. You are sweet, funny, handsome, and charming. All of my life, I've looked for someone like you.

When I was a little girl, I would spend hours dreaming about what I would say to my dream man once I met him.

Ross felt his eyes well with tears, blurring his vision from the words that wrenched his heart. He continued reading.

And now...now that I've found the one man that I've been looking for all of my life... I don't know what to do.

A single tear blotted the fragile piece of paper.

You'd think that love would be easy...that life would be perfect. But it's not...believe me...I should know, of all people. If life were perfect, then I wouldn't be so afraid to let myself love again. But I am, and I can't bear to hurt someone as badly as I've been hurt in the past.

Ross set the letter that held the key to his heart on the night table for a moment. Thoughts circled around his mind as the raindrops danced around in the night sky.

How had she been hurt? Who did this to her?

There's so much I don't even know about her, thought Ross in wonderment. He picked up the letter again, and this time, held it steadier in his firm hands.

I'm truly sorry, Ross. I hate to think that I'm hurting you, but in all honesty, I don't think I deserve you. I'm so sorry...and so confused right now. All of these feelings have surfaced, and I don't know who to trust...my head or my heart. I don't know what to say...I don't know what to do...

I do hope to see you again one day. But right now, I just need a moment to myself. It seems weird, really, that I've spent the past few months searching for you, only to have left you again.

I write this in February...I don't know if I'll ever see you, or run from you, again, but this letter will explain everything if I've left you in confusion.

I'm so sorry...so, so, so, sorry...

As Ross laid the letter upon the tabletop, he watched the rain slide down the window pane. They fell, tears the sky cried. As lightning lashed its fire across the black desert of sky, the thunder rolled in behind it, crashing and disturbing the peace.

He turned his head towards the ground and spotted the other piece of paper that had drifted to the ground from the envelope. Stooping down to retrieve it, he gasped when he saw what his hands contained.

It was a sonogram.

The picture itself was simply a blur of indistinguishable blacks and whites...but what lie engulfed was beautiful.

Ross squinted at it, trying to decipher his baby from the mass of wavy black lines.

His baby. His baby.

Ross fell back on the bed, sonogram clutched to his heart. I'm going to be a father!

It hit him harder as thunder clapped in the near distance. He was having a baby.

How many months along must she be? Ross wondered. Four-ish?

Ross raised his eyes and stared blankly out the window. He had let her get away. Again! And this time, it wasn't just her that had fled into the windy black hole of night.

This time, she had taken his child, their child, with her.

Standing up, Ross grabbed the letter and sonogram...the two pieces of paper that would change his life most.

As he listened to each raindrop fall, he knew that each one of them had a purpose: to reach the ground. Now, he too had a purpose: to get the only woman he had ever loved back.

Walking out into Monica's living room, he was greeted by sympathetic faces, most of which he did not recognize.

Ross found himself still surprised to see his little sister. She had obviously grown a great deal, both physically and mentally.

By the way she buried the side of her head in Chandler's shoulder and how he softly showered her sweet neckline with tender, reassuring kisses, Ross knew it must be love.

He wanted to have that desperately with someone else.

And not just anyone...but with Rachel.

Ross wanted the kind of love that you would sacrifice your soul for. When all hope vanished into thin air, he wanted to share a bond so special and perfect that it wouldn't even matter.

He wanted to go out, and be able to caress her soft skin whenever he wished. He wanted her to lie beside him each night, and as their bodies intertwined and joined as one, he wanted to whisper a sweet "I love you" into her ear as they both cried in joy.

He wanted, when their bones creaked a slow song from graceful aging, for their porch swing to creak in harmony with it. And as the swing would creak, helped along by the ever so gentle breeze, they would sit and reminisce and enjoy the way that her hand had molded in such a perfect way to lay in his, effortlessly.

He wanted to watch her gracefully glide down the aisle, and into his strong arms. When she got there, he would never let her go.

But, he had to find her first.

Snapping out of his wondrous daydream, Ross asked the question everyone knew was coming. "Where did she go?"

Monica shook her head. "Sorry, sweetie, she left."

"I know," he began impatiently, "but do you have any idea as to where she went?"

"She said she was going for a walk," remarked Phoebe, as if it was normal.

Ross held his head in his hands. "Oh my God! I can't believe this...she's out there in the rain, pregnant, and alone. I thought she was going somewhere in a cab, at least! Why did you guys let her go!?" He moaned in frustration.

"Once Rachel has her mind set on something," stated Chandler, "there's no stopping her."

Ross groaned, "So? You could have at least went with her or something!"

"It was just something she needed to do," said Phoebe.

Joey looked at him without blinking. "If you really love her, then you'll go after her."

It took a minute for his unusually smart words to register, but once they did, Ross knew. "Yeah...I'll go after her."

Racing, he grabbed his creamy brown leather jacket and headed out into the darkness.

The darkness. Where shadows played and mercilessly taunted the lives of all who dared to enter its lifeless cove.

He had to find her.

----

So many lights. So very many lights.

Screams penetrated the night rainfall. The screams could deafen, and the screams could shatter lives.

But who were they coming from?

Just when a ray of light shined down, the clouds would blacken and thicken their fluffy spread across the evil black heavens.

She blindly looked around. She gasped for a single breath, willing her lungs to let air seep through.

They were becoming like her heart, only allowing the necessary amount through, but not enough to set the spirit flying into the supple arms of love again.

And then she heard the screams, once more. Who was screaming so loud?

Pain. Now there was more pain. Pain that reminded her of before. Before was in her past. Pain was in her present, and undeniable tears were in her future.

Before- even in her most dire time of need, she wouldn't allow her nearly incomprehensible thoughts be invaded by thoughts of before that still haunted her nightmares.

Voices now. Pleading voices, begging her to open her eyes.

I'm trying! But WHO is that screaming? Maybe if they would be quiet, I would open my eyes!

But the words would not come.

She heard the screams again, louder this time.

If she had the strength, she would reprimand the shrill screamer who had disturbed the walk she had taken to sort out her many thoughts.

It wasn't until several moments later that she realized that the shrill screams of pain that rose from the streets to wake the dead came from someone she once knew so well.

Herself.

-----

As you can see, we have some learning to do about Rachel's past. We'll find out about the baby, and if it survived. And, we'll see if Ross and Rachel will ever let themselves love.

BUT...only if we review.

Now, I feel like the biggest dork (and a little bit like a cheesy game show announcer!), so I'll stop. Lol....

And, here's just a small word of advice to anyone wondering what to do when there's a tornado warning. Dont. Go. Outside. (And don't steal street signs from wealthy neighborhoods! I was at a party on Thursday and there was a tornado touching down like right next door. Their tree fell down, lol, and we had to pick it up. But like, the wind was blowing SO fast and we all thought it would be fun to go outside. Nuh-uh. Not a good idea. Just take it from me. Also, don't, after the storm, go outside take fallen street signs, and paint frogs pink with finger paint. Because some frogs don't like that and jump down your top...Yeah, it was interesting. :))

Alright, I'm going...I promise. ;)

New chapter up soon! Please review!

Mel